Chapter sixty-six
I wake up to Matt's heavy snoring. My cheek is against his chest and his arms are securely fastened around my body. Every time I go to bed with him I wake up like this. Matt holding on to me so tightly I feel restricted. I enjoy it, though. It makes me feel protected and loved.
Thankfully, he didn't have any nightmares and slept peacefully through the night.
I sweep the hair off his forehead. I kind of wish that his eyes were open so I could peer into those green eyes that hold so much depth and emotion.
I kiss the top of his chiseled nose.
What do I do now?
I promised everyone I would stay away from him. I promised myself I would stay away from him.
How am I such a weak-willed bitch?
But, he was clearly in pain and I.....I just can't stand seeing him like that.
He cut himself. He was drinking alcohol again and I know that when he drinks he drinks HARD. He guzzles strong alcohol by the bottle that makes him act crazy. I couldn't let him go home.
What about Skylar?
She will not like Matt being here.
Skylar!
She's probably going to be here soon.
I mean, at least we didn't have sex? Right. I have self-control.
She went to that party last night and hasn't come back.
I jump out of bed and pick up Matt's hoodie and jeans off the floor and place them on the vanity for when he wakes up. Hopefully soon.
Something white on the floor catches my eye.
I see his bloodied bandages on the floor.
I pick them up with a cautious hand and drop them into the trash.
They must've fallen off in his sleep.
He turns over and groans.
"Novah," he says in his raspy, deep, morning-voice that I adore.
"Good morning!" I chirp.
I turn and my eyes meet his.
His eyes are so beautiful. Entrancing. A beautiful autumn green.
"Good morning, beautiful," he purrs.
I take a second before snapping out of.....whatever place he makes me go to.
"Skylar will be here soon,"
He groans and rolls his eyes, turning over in the bed.
"Ugh,"
"She won't like that you're here," I struggle to say.
I feel rude, telling him that he's not welcome here by Skylar.
"I don't care," he mutters under his breath.
"Did you sleep well last night?" I ask.
"Yeah. I slept really well. Come here,"
My heart almost leaps out of my chest at the sound of his seductive-sounding 'come here'
I walk towards the bed and stand at the edge.
He stares at me his lips curled, a smirk on his face.
He takes my hands and pulls me onto the bed next to him.
"Matt," I giggle.
He tilts my chin up and stares at me, my face in his hand.
"What would I do without you?" he whispers.
I smile at him and his eyes crinkle at the corner as he beams.
"What?" I ask.
He pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me.
"Everything," he replies.
I don't understand what he means but I don't ask what.
He lays me back down on the bed, my hoodie lifting up to my stomach.
I pull it back down but he stops my hand, lifting the hoodie back up, revealing my thighs and stomach.
His eyes hungrily move over my thighs.
He runs his finger along my thigh gracefully, watching my eyes as he does it.
I sharply breathe, closing my eyes, and taking in the feeling of his hands on my body.
"These panties are....really pretty," he whispers while caressing my thigh.
My breath quickens.
I ache for him, already becoming wet and turned on.
I always do when he touches me or talks to me....in that way. In that seductive manner.
He pulls my pink panties down, slightly, revealing my hip.
He leans down and kisses my hip tenderly.
I can't help but moan a little.
He smirks against my skin.
"Do you want them off?" he asks. Yes! God, yes, I want them off, but we can't do this.
He can't do this.
We're not supposed to do this.
I want to say yes but I hesitate.
"Turn your mind off for a second, babe, and tell me what you want. What you really want,"
"I...I want you to want me,"
"I do, baby. More than anything. But do you want me?"
"Yess....."I breathe.
Wait, what?! I said that without thinking.
He kisses my belly button and then kisses right below it.
"Are you sure?" he looks up at me.
I nod my head, wanting more. More of his touch.
"Say it," he demands.
"I want you....." I sigh.
"And do you want what I'm about to do to you?" he asks, his eyes dark and shadowy.
I bite my lip. "Yes," I want it. I want him.
I bite my lip again as he moves his hands up my hoodie groping my breasts, massaging them in circular motions.
"Ohhhh....." I moan.
He takes my hands and places them on his tattooed abs.
He lets go of my hands as I run them across his abs.
I look at the scorpion that is tattooed right above his pelvis on his lower stomach.
The thought is snatched away from me as I feel him pulling off my panties.
He places them on the pillow. He parts my legs with his hands.
He kisses my inner thigh tenderly. I feel the wet mark of his kiss and wish for him. Wait for him to do whatever he was planning on doing.
He kisses my inner thigh once more before, sitting up straight again.
He presses the palm of his hand down on my clitoris.
"Mattttt....." I moan.
"Shhh.....you're making this harder for me,"
"How?" I asked breathlessly as he kneads his palm against my clitoris.
"Look at how wet you are for me. Don't you think I want to stick myself inside of you? I want to so if you don't quit moaning like a......"
I moan louder this time to entice him as he presses down on my clitoris with his thumb.
"I want you....inside of me," I moan.
"Fuck," he curses.
"Please, Matt," I plead.
"You're impossible, Novah," he says breathlessly. "But I want you to wait,"
"But I don't want to wait. I want you to fuck me. Now,"
He smirks at my words, probably surprised at the boldness, as I am. I usually never say things like this, unless he forces me to.
"Don't be like that...." he leans closer to my face. "You need to fucking wait. What did I just say?"
I reach my hand out and press my hand against the growing bulge between his legs.
He groans softly and closes his eyes.
I pull down his boxers revealing his hardened length.
"You're insatiable, baby," he whispers before laying in between my legs and entering me.
I moan as his thick cock slides into me.
"Fuckkk....." he sighs. "You're so wet, baby,"
He eases into me again, slowly.
"Oh goddd........" I moan.
He buries his face in my neck, kissing it as he slides into me slowly, again and again.
"Feel good?" he breathes.
"Yessss........" I say and bite down on my lip.
He picks up the pace, going a little faster.
"Novah, fuck, you're so.......fucking tight," he groans.
He starts moving faster.
"Goddamn it," he says as he begins thrusting full-speed into me.
"You feel so fucking good....wet pussy," he says breathlessly.
"Matt!" I yell. I continue painting like a dog, all my thoughts a blur as he fucking demolishes me.
He keeps going thrusting harder and sharper, deep into me.
He hits just the right place, causing me to cum.
"Matt!" I cry. "Oh my god!"
I scrape my nails down his back as I reach my orgasm.
"Fucking god, Novah!" he thrusts one last time before cumming violently, inside of me, groaning my name.
He collapses on top of me as we lay there, a mess of sweaty, entangled limbs.
God, I'm fucking spent.
We both struggle to catch our breath as we lay with each other. On each other.
"You good?" he asks.
"Yeah. Did I hurt you? I scratched you,"
"Nah, I like that shit," he kisses my cheek.
"Phew, I'm so fucking hot right now,"
He raises his eyebrow. I roll my eyes.
"Temperature. Not....like that."
"Be my guest. You can take off what little have you have left on,"
I roll my eyes and giggle.
"Turn," I ask, preparing to take off the thick hoodie I have on.
"You're acting like I didn't just fuck you senseless. I know your body like the back of my hand,"
"I don't like showing my body like that,"
"I want you to be comfortable with your body. Especially around me. See how comfortable I am with your body?"
I roll my eyes yet again and laugh.
"And roll your eyes one more time and there will be consequences,"
I smirk. "What are you gonna do Matt?" I taunt.
He smiles. "Is that a dare?"
"Maybe,"
"Take off the hoodie, Novah. Or I will."
I groan. "Fine. Asshole," I say as I lift the hoodie over my head.
"What was that?" he asks as he moves his eyes over my breasts.
He licks his lips and averts his gaze to my eyes.
"You're gonna have to start speaking up," he pulls me onto his lap and pins my hands behind my back. "Cause I will not tolerate you muttering,"
He kisses my neck repeatedly. I close my eyes and roll my neck to the side.
"Matt, you have to go,"
"I don't want to," he says and continues kissing my neck.
I pull away from his gentle kisses.
"Go, Matt,"
He looks at me, confusion apparent on his face.
"You said last night you didn't want me to leave,"
"I was.....really, really emotionally all over the place last night,"
He looks up at the ceiling and sighs. "Fair enough,"
He starts to move out of the bed but I grab his wrist and turn it over.
The blood has dried up making the cuts a crimson red shade.
"Do they hurt?" I ask softly.
"Not much," he says, returning to his usual impassive expression, nothing like the passion I just experienced.
He pulls away and gets out of the bed. He walks over to the vanity grabbing his pants. He puts one foot and the other in, pulling the jeans up his legs.
I sit and watch silently as he prepares to leave.
Is this our final goodbye? Do I want it to be?
Should I talk to him about it?
Should I tell him how I feel?
Should I give him....another chance?
A million questions run through my head.
God, I'm such an overthinker.
He pulls on his hoodie and grabs his keys and phone, slipping them into his pocket.
He looks around the room, never at me.
"Why don't you come with me?" he asks, tracing his fingers along his wrist.
I take a few seconds to contemplate this.
"I still haven't changed my mind about what I said yesterday,"
His face falls, becoming colder and harder than before. He blinks, the softness in his eyes vanishing as well as the color in his cheeks.
He pulls his hoodie up over his head and reaches for the door handle, a bit slower than usual.
"Matt," I squeak.
He turns back around.
"Maybe, we can hang out later. Just for fun,"
His face brightens a bit.
"I'll pick you up in two hours," he says and opens the door.
"Wait!" I say before he leaves.
He turns back around, I can tell, trying so hard to hide a smirk.
"Can I get a hug?" I ask.
His eyebrows rise slightly.
He opens his arms. I walk into them and he engulfs me in his arms.
I feel his warmth again. Smelling his familiar scent. He holds me in his arms a little longer before I reach up and run my hand through his hair. He smiles at me.
"Don't be out here acting single cause you're not,"
I laugh at his joke. "Maybe, I was already acting single,"
I turn around, wagging my ass at him. He smacks it. I yelp.
I turn and look at him. He smiles and I see a little twinkle in his eye before he turns and walks out the door.
I sit on my bed and process everything.
What did I just do?
I tuck my hair behind my ears and sigh.
I just invited Matt back into my life, found out he has.....certain habits that I'd rather not think about, is a fucking alcoholic at twenty years old and I just had sex with him, which I shouldn't have. No self-control, man.
I sigh deeply and push all of those thoughts to the back of my mind before I have another fucking panic attack.
The door opens and I see Skylar in her red dress, her lips smudged with lipstick and makeup smudged and ruined after a long night.
"Hey babe," she says cheerfully.
"Hey! How was the party?"
"Fun! I met a few cute guys, gave em' my number. Maybe, they'll get some head later on," she winks at me. I laugh. "Hey, did Matt come by here? I thought I saw his car."
Uh oh.
"No. I haven't seen or spoken to him,"
She exhales and smiles. "Phew. It'd be a shame if he ran into a few problems," she says and laughs.
I snicker.
"Unzip me," she says and stands in front of me. I unzip the back of her dress. She slips it off and throws it in the hamper.
"So, how was your night? Did you do anything fun?"
"No. Not really," Except for finding out that Matt was cutting himself.
She grabs a towel.
"Had breakfast?" she asks. Matt's dick.
"No, not yet," I reply.
"Well, after I finish showering you want to go get something?"
"I would but I have plans for later,"
Her green eyes sparkle in the light and she smirks.
"Who with?" she places her hand on her hip, with the smug look present on her face.
"Umm....a friend,"
She continues smirking. "Alright then,"
She wraps the towel around her body and walks out the door.
I exhale and sit on the bed.
I just lied straight to her face more than once.
I'm a bitch.
I crouch down and look under my bed for my speaker.
I pull out the black speaker and get my phone off the .nightstand.
I turn it on and see a text from Jon that he sent last night. I open it.
Goodnight, it says.
I start typing.
Sorry I didn't reply. I went to bed a little early.
Pretty sure I was actually just lying in Matt's arms but same difference.
Damn, I'm just lying to everyone, huh?
I close my messages and open my Spotify playlist.
Putting on my 'happy' playlist I start dancing as I look for an outfit for later.
I sing along to the song and try to forget my worries like the song says.
ns3.135.194.164da2
