Falling ~ book 1

Chapter fifty-two

I jolt awake and hear Matt screaming.

"Leave her alone! No, get off of her!" I climb on top of him. He's thrashing and drenched in sweat. I think he may even be....crying?

"Matt," I say while shaking him. "Matt, wake up,"

"I'll kill you," he whispers. I gulp and take a deep breath.

"Matt, wake up," his eyes flutter open and widen

"Novah," he croaks. He hugs me to his body.

"You're safe," he says, panting and breathless.

"Yes. Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah. Just....night terrors."

I'm very confused as to what the night terrors consist of.

He lets go of me and gets out of bed.

"I'm gonna go get some water." he walks out the door and I'm left wondering about why he could be having such terrible nightmares.

He said 'I'll kill you'. It scared me.

I'm worried about him. I want to ask him about it but I also think I should let him tell me about it on his own terms and when he's ready.

I lay my head on the pillow and exhale.

I should just forget about it.

Matt walks back into the room about a minute later holding two water bottles. He gets into the bed.

"I brought one for you just in case," he says with a raspy voice.

"Thank you," I take it, open it and take a few sips before putting down on the floor next to the bed. Matt drinks all of his in less than a minute.

"I...I had a question for you." I say timidly.

"Is it about the night terrors?"

"Yeah," I reply. I mean I've seen him have nightmares three times at least and they kind of scared me. "I heard you whisper that you'll kill somebody."

He sighs and rubs his forehead.

"Yeah, I....I've been having those for years. You help me sleep but they don't really....ever, go away. You want to know what it's in the nightmare, huh?"

"Yes,"

He leans against the headboard and sighs.

"When Jon and I were fifteen something really, really fucking traumatizing happened and I've just never fully recovered."

I'm happy he's opening up to me but that was pretty vague if I'm being honest.

"What happened when you were fifteen?" I ask.

He takes a long pause.

"My....umm little sisters died," he says.

I sit there, shocked. My poor Matt.

"And Jon's sister, which she was like my little sister as well,"

I climb on top of him wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Matt...I...." I don't know what to say. I know he's probably sick of hearing 'I'm sorry'.

"What were their names?"

"Magdalene and Maritza. They were twins. And Julie, Jon's sister."

I kiss Matt's bare, tattooed chest softly. Fuck, I feel so bad for him. He was just a boy.

"Maritza committed suicide shortly after Maggie and Julie were found raped and beaten. I found all of their bodies. Maritza......she was in the tub.....her wrists were slit and.....there was blood everywhere."

"Matt, I'm....I'm so sorry....." I say into his chest.

"Its okay, Novah. Cause I have you now. Just.....tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me.....you won't....you won't leave me."

Fuck. What do I say? I don't know if I can stay with him forever. I mean, I would like to be with him but I don't know what the future holds. If we'll still be together years from now or even months.

"Matt, I can't say that. Simply cause I don't know if we'll always be together."

"Just for my peace of mind. Just say it."

How can I say no to him? He's probably in pain. He found three dead bodies of people he loved.

"I'll never leave you. I love you, Okay Matt?"

I need him to know that someone loves him. That he is loved. Even if it means sacrificing my beliefs and opinions.

Even if we've just met.

I feel like I know him.

"I love you, Novah. So much. I don't want to lose you....like I lost....."

"You won't Matt. I promise."

I plant tender kisses on both of his cheeks.

"I'm fucked up, Novah."

"Stop. We're all fucked up. Don't put yourself down."