Chapter sixty-one
I step out of Jon's red pick-up truck holding my purse and shopping bags and the teddy bear that he got me. He grabs the two bouquets of roses.
"I can help you carry these upstairs,"
"No, you've done enough,"
I take the two bouquets and place them in the shopping bag.
"There we go," I say.
He smiles at me. "Well, is you need anything. Like, I can cook for you if you want. Or if you need someone to drive you or anything,"
"Thank you,"
"Oh you forgot this," he takes my phone out of his back pocket.
"Just put it in my back pocket," I tell him, my hands and arms filled with things.
He stands behind me, pushing my phone in my backpack. His fingers grace my behind. "Oh, I'm sorry," he says quickly. He turns red and I laugh.
"Well, bye Jon. I'll see you later,"
I shuffle over and lean into him, trying to hug him but my arms are full. He wraps his arms around me.
"Stay safe,"
He releases me from his arms.
"I will. Bye,"
"Bye," he shouts as I walk towards my building. I reach the door and freeze. Shit. My hands are full.
Jon runs over to the doors that I am in front of.
"Let me get that,"
He holds the door open for me. I walk in. "Could you open the staircase door?" I ask. He runs over to that door and holds it open. I smile at him.
"Bye Jonny,"
He chuckles. "Bye, Novah,"
I walk up the stairs in a much better mood than earlier. I'm still kind of fucking depressed but Matt's poem has me way happier. I mean, we are broken up but still. He loves me!
I walk down the hall to my room door.
I put all my stuff on the floor next to my room door and open the door. Once I have the door open, I pick all my stuff back up off the floor and walk into the room, closing the room door behind me with my body. I turn around and jump, startled. My roses fall to the floor. Matt is sitting on my bed, leaning against the headboard, like its nothing that he's literally sitting on my bed.
"What are you doing here?" I ask him.
"Where were you?" he counters, twirling his keys around his fingers. I pick my flowers up off the floor and place them on the vanity. I take my shopping bags and put them in the closet and then put my teddy bear on my nightstand.
"Who got you that?" he asks as I place the teddy bear on my nightstand.
"Quit with all the questions,"
"Then answer me," he says slightly raising his voice.
"You can leave," I say calmly.
"Come here," he grabs my arm and pulls me on top of him. Our noses are touching. I look into his melancholic green eyes. They are bloodshot. He's been drinking. "Matt we can't do this,"
"Do what?" he shouts. I get a waft of whiskey. Vodka? Some alcohol.
I jump a little. His eyes soften. He kisses my nose and my cheek where a tear has fallen.
My heart has sped up and Matt's intense stare and stray, tender kisses are distracting me from "not being with him".
I can't stop looking at his pink, full lips and the tiny lip ring that sits below his bottom lip. God, he's so perfect, I think to myself.
He kisses my left cheek and I close my eyes. He kisses my left eye then my right.
He pins my wrists behind my back. He presses his lips on mine lightly.
He kisses right below my ear. I immediately roll my head to the side to give him better access to my neck. He plants airy kisses all down my neck. He bites my earlobe gently.
I moan faintly.
"Oh so you do want me?" he asks knowing damn well, I do. I whine like a brat. His fucking brat.
I want to feel his every movement. Him moving his thick, long cock in and out of my wet...
Him whispering dirty things in my ears. His forehead beaded with sweat. I want to feel the red, hot passion that he displays for me.
He pulls the neckline of my shirt down and kisses the base of my throat.
He then moves to my shoulder kissing it tenderly, baring his teeth and biting down gently.
"We're not supposed to do this," I pant.
"That's not what your body is saying," he says and runs his tongue along my neck from below my ear to my shoulder.
I start breathing heavily.
He sucks on my earlobe softly.
"My princess........"
He sucks on the skin on my neck, biting down with his teeth.
"Mattttt........." I moan.
He stops abruptly. "Lift your arms,"
I obey. He lifts the t-shirt over my head, revealing my plain black lace bra. He throws the shirt to the side.
"God, Novah, seeing you like this.....shirtless......makes me want to go down on you right. now."
I bite my lip in response to his filthy words. The way he talks to me......filthily......dirtily.......sleazily.......so fucking hot.
I look down at the hard bulge between his legs. I look back up at his face. His green eyes shimmer in the evening sun.
"Be patient, baby," he purrs as he catches me staring at his hardened cock.
He nudges me back gently so that I'm laying below him on the bed.
He kisses just below my belly button, making me crave for more. Is he gonna kiss.....down there?
No. He kisses my belly button and I giggle softly. He looks up at me and smiles. He kisses soft, wet kisses from my belly button to my breasts. He unclasps my black bra and his folded poem falls out of my bra.
Shit. I'd forgotten I'd put it there. He holds it up and we lock eyes. He stares into my eyes for a few more seconds before he moves to my nightstand, opening the drawer and dropping the folded poem inside of it.
He encircles his tongue around my nipple, making me want more......
I moan and pull his hair dirty blond hair roughly.
He starts breathing harder.
He bites down on my nipple.
"Pleaseeee....." I beg.
"You want me to fuck you?" he asks.
"Yes,"
He smiles mischievously.
"Too bad. Wait," he says bluntly. He starts unbuttoning my jeans slowly, surely.
He pulls them down my legs to my ankles. He runs his fingers up and down my leg. His mouth settles on my inner thigh, where he kisses and sucks.
"God, Matt, please just....."
"Say it. Tell me you want me to fuck you, " He says from between my legs.
I contemplate what this might imply. 290Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLsFHd7yOf
That we're back together.
"I...I can't Matt. I don't want to do this."
He continues looking at me, his expression unwavering.
"Do you not want to or are you forcing yourself not to?"
He's right. In this short period of time, he already knows me so well.
I stay silent.
He removes his hands off of my body, and moves, leaning against the headboard.
I stare at him, waiting for something. Waiting for him to say something, anything, to me.
I begin to avoid his empty stare, his beautiful jade eyes absent of emotion.
I want that empty stare to be replaced with crinkling at the corners of his eyes that happen when he smiles.
God, what do I do? I'm sitting here in just my panties and that's obviously not helping. I grab my bra off of the floor and clip it on.
Yes, I want a relationship with him. Yes, I want him to fuck me right now. Yes, I want to get to know him better.290Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8rcQNJgrj
Alas, I just can't.
We're just not good for each other.
I inhale and all I smell is him. The scent of Matt. On my clothes. In this whole room.
I smell his cologne which smells like pine needles, the faint scent of vodka, and some type of laundry detergent.
We both sit on the bed in silence, me avoiding his stare and him just staring off into space. Or at me. I don't know.
He reaches out to touch me but pulls back. I almost frown.
Does he not want to touch me anymore?
I want him to hold me. I want him to kiss the top of my head.
Hell, I'd even be willing to shower with him.
I want some type of warmth in this room.
I place my hand on his thigh. He doesn't respond. He doesn't even blink.
I clasp my hand over his.
Nothing. He just stares off blankly.
"Matt," I squeak.
He doesn't say anything.
"Matt," I say again. I climb onto his lap, cupping his face, searching his eyes.
"Matt, say something,"
He closes his eyes and reopens them, his eyes finally focusing in on me.
He places his hand on the small of my back and I almost smile at the small sign of affection.
He caresses my face with his other hand. I close my eyes and take in his touch.
The door clicks open. I turn my head and see Skylar standing there with two plastic bags in her hand. She makes eye contact with Matt. Her lips press into a line and her nostrils flare.
"GET THE FUCK OUT, MATT!" She shouts at the top of her lungs.
He doesn't move.
I move off of Matt quickly, embarrassed that just a few hours ago I'd told Skylar I was done with him, and here I am, almost naked, on top of him.
Skylar grabs Matt by the arm and yanks him up off the bed. His eyebrows rise in surprise.
"I said get out you fucking bastard," she pushes him out the door before I can say anything. "And don't fucking come back you fucking jerk," she slams the door and locks it, exhaling and leaning on the door.
"You okay?" she asks.
"Are you?" I joke. She laughs.
"Yeah, I just don't want him here. He's a jerk on every level," she rolls her eyes and huffs. She starts smiling. "So I have a surprise for you, babe," Skylar says to me. I quickly slip on my shirt and grab some sweatpants out of my drawer, pulling them on.
"What is it?"
She holds up the two plastic bags and flashes a smile. "So I thought we'd have a little fun."
She places the plastic bags on the vanity. She takes out two tubs of ice cream, a box of waffle cones, rainbow sprinkles, and a bag of KitKat.
I walk over to the vanity and hug her body.290Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxema4u26Ty
"Thanks, Sky,"
"No problem girl. I have a box of silverware and all that too if you wanted a bowl and a spoon,"
"Okay," I look at the flavors.
Mint chocolate chip. Cookies and cream.
"I love these flavors," I tell her.
"Yeah me too," she replies.
"I forgot to let you know, my dad came and set up the TV,"
I look in the corner.
Oh shit! There was a whole ass TV and I didn't know. Wow. Matt was completely taking up my attention.
"Tell him thanks for me,"
She shuffles over to the closet and pulls out a brown box.
"So.....what'd you do after you left the hospital?" she asks. I think about Jon.
I just remembered! She and Jon broke up. 290Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDD92tviEUH
"You broke up with Jon?" I ask.
She nods her head, looking awfully unemotional.
"Yeah. I just wasn't feeling it anymore. He's really sweet and a nice guy but he's just kind of boring. And the sex got kind of whack,"
I laugh out loud and quickly cover my mouth.
"Do you know what bad sex is like?" she asks me.
I think about it. Well, I've only ever had sex with Matt, and every time we do I feel pleasures that I've never felt before. I mean the first time hurt a bit but I heard it was supposed to plus Matt has a really big...
"No, I haven't," I tell her.
"Well, he would do the same exact dry ass things every time and his dick is..."
My mouth drops open. I thought she liked him. She's pretty nailing every guys' insecurities.
"I mean, yeah, he's really cute but damn does he suck in bed. I gave him a blow job and I'm pretty sure he came within two seconds," Skylar continues.
I know she probably wants to vent about this. Her ex. But I still feel bad that she's talking about his sex life and how bad it is.
"Well, maybe he was nervous or something,"
"I don't know. I think I just want to stay friends with him,"
"Well, that's just fine,"
She picks up two bowls and two spoons.
"I'm gonna go downstairs and wash these,"
"K,"
She walks out the door.
I sit down on my bed and wait for her.
Why do I feel so empty right now? I didn't even get to say goodbye to Matt.
I hold back my tears, not wanting to cry anymore this week.
I go into my nightstand drawer and pull out the poem he wrote for me.
It's too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you.....
My eyes move down the page, my heart finding solace within his written words.
I press the piece of paper to my heart and close my eyes, wishing things were different.
Wishing, we were different. That our relationship could be different.
Maybe I'm the problem.
Maybe.....if I were different......
ns18.119.141.157da2
