Chapter fifty-four
We're in the parking lot of the clothing department stores.
"What am I even supposed to be getting?" I ask Matt. He puts the car in park and takes the keys out of the ignition.
"I don't know. Whatever you want. I'll tell you if I see something I think would look good on you."
"Okay. Oooohhh, shopping with my man."
"Yep, your man. I'm all yours."
I smile at him, genuinely happy that I'm gonna go shopping with him.
My boyfriend. It has a nice ring to it.
We get out of the car and Matt takes my hand immediately. He's so controlling. And I love it. Secretly, though. I'll never tell him.
We walk into the department store and go into the women's section. I decide that I am going to get a really nice outfit for tomorrow and then a more casual one for today. Matt disappears into one of the sections and reappears with a low cut black halter dress.
"This would look really fucking sexy on you,"
I giggle.
"Okay, hold it for me and I'll try it on in the dressing room,"
He tosses it over his shoulder and grabs a black mini dress.
"This."
"Okay, Matt. Let me pick out some clothes myself,"
He slaps my behind and I respond with a little squeal.
"You're disturbing the customers," he scolds playfully.
I slap him playfully on the arm. He slaps me again on the ass. "Shop, woman,"
I roll my eyes and laugh.
I continue looking at dresses and I eventually see a really pretty pastel blue dress. It's really simple and plain.....just how I like my clothes. The dress has a really cute neckline and I think its really pretty and simple.
I think I'll wear this one tomorrow when we go see his family.
"Okay, I'm going to the dressing room,"
I take the black dress off his shoulder and walk towards the dressing room.
I walk into one of the dressing room stalls and hang my dress up.
"I'm right out here, so make sure to come and show me the clothes," he says from outside the door,"
"Why?"
"Because I want to see,"
I take off my jeans and his gray t-shirt and place it on the bench.
I decide to try on the black dress first. Its kind of scandalous to be honest. It's a halter top black dress. It's pretty, though.
I put it on and look in the mirror. I don't have on a push-up bra but the dress is a little low-cut and I think it makes me look kinda slutty. My breast are kind of.....out and on display.
"Okay, I'm coming out,"
"You sound uneasy," Matt says.
"Yeah, it's not the best looking on me,"
I open the door and walk out. Matt smirks and licks his bottom lip.
"Sooo, what do you think?" I ask.
"I think...I want to take you into that dressing room and have my way with you,"
I get an ache deep in my stomach and bite my lip. How does he manage to turn me on in the fucking dressing room?
"You're not even supposed to be in here," I giggle. He pushes back me into the dressing room and locks the door. He pushes me against the wall.
"I go wherever you go. I think you may need a little reminder," he says in a deep voice. His pupils are dilated and his green eyes are deep and dark with desire. I secretly love this side of him. Domineering. Controlling. Bossy. "Didn't I tell you you would look sexy?"
"I don't look sexy, I look slutty,"
"Stop with that shit."
He bows his head closer to my ear. My heart speed quickens and my breathing hitches. "I want to devour you.......sweetheart," he whispers into my ear, his voice raspy and libidinous.
"Here?"
He nods his head up and down slowly.
He leans his head down and kisses me voraciously. I feel the cold of his metal lip piercing against my lip. He places his large hands on my behind and squeezes gently. He continues kissing me, sucking on my lip, biting my tongue. Delicious, aggressive kissing. It feels so meaningful. I don't even notice him scrunching up the dress and pulling down my panties. He lifts my legs around his waist and his erection springs into me, filling me. I let out a moan and he quickly clamps his large hand over his mouth.
"Hushhh....you'd better not make a sound," he purrs into my ear. He pumps in and out of me, kissing my neck simultaneously. I bite on his finger, trying so hard to keep quiet. "My pretty babyyyy......" he whispers close to my ear.
God, I'm so close to orgasm, already. I feel the joyous pulsating. Feels so fucking good.
"So tight....." he says as he continues thrusting into me. "Belongs to me......who does it belong to?" he asks.
"Youuuuu...." I sigh. I look into his eyes and lose it seeing those pretty pools of jade.
I release, moaning into his hand, my orgasm taking over my body. I bite down on his finger as he releases inside of me, our fluids combining.
He sets me down on the floor and pulls up my panties and down the dress. I wobble around a little bit before sitting on the bench. I wince still feeling quite aroused and sensitive from our....experience.
"We're getting that dress," he says breathlessly.
I nod my head still experiencing my after-effects of that wonderful orgasm. The shock-wave of pleasure that courses through my body.
"I never thought...."
"You're going to do a lot of things with me that you thought you'd never do," he finishes my thought, as usual. He hugs me to his body, kissing the top of my head. "You smell good by the way,"
"I'm not wearing any perfume,"
"You smell like...you,"
I look up and smile at him. I feel so happy right now. Right here with him. He releases me from his arms.
"Try on the next dress," he orders.
"Go,"
"Do I have to?" he whines.
"Yes, for the full effect,"
"Fine," he groans.
He opens the stall door, winks at me, and walks out.
I take off the black dress and smile to myself. Of course, I'm getting this dress. It holds memories.
Good memories.
Sex.
Sex is always good with Matt.
And of course, Matt likes the dress so I might as well get it.
I slip on the blue dress which looks like a cute spring outfit. It's pretty. Reaches just above my knees but it's not too short. Its a dainty, innocent dress. Simple.
I don't usually wear colors but its a special occasion.
"Alright. I'm coming out,"
No response.
I walk out of the stall.
"Matt?" I look around for him but he isn't here. I can't walk out of the dressing room with this on so I decide to wait for him to come back. I sit down on the bench.
Two minutes pass.
I decide to just take off the dress I have on and go pay for the both of them. I go back into the stall and take off the dress.
I put back on Matt's t-shirt and my jeans. I grab the blue dress and the black one and head out of the dressing room and to the cash register.
He's probably in the bathroom, I tell myself, ignoring the banking feeling I have that something bad is going to happen to me.275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJu7jjfk2O
"Good afternoon," the cashier tells me. She looks kind of familiar. I think I've seen her at school before. She has her brunette hair pulled into a ponytail. She has brown eyes and dimples.
I hand her the two dresses, suddenly getting a little embarrassed when she rings up the black one.
She rings up the blue one and her cheeks start turning pink and then red.
I turn around and see Matt standing behind me.
"Restroom," he tells me and kisses me my neck.
"That'll be $78.42," the cashier says. I start to take some money out of my purse but Matt hands the girl his card before I can pay.
"Matt," I say.
"I told you, I'm paying,"
I roll my eyes. The girl hands me the receipt and I grab my bag and smile at her.
"Have a nice day," she says to both of us.
"You too," I reply.
We walk towards the exit.
"You have got to stop doing that,"
"Why? I told you I was gonna pay for the clothes,"
I turn and look at him.
"Well, thank you but I don't need you to do that,"
"And I don't care if you need it or not cause that's how its gonna be. Forever,"
"Forever?"
"Forever." he takes my hand and brings it up to his lips.
I smile at him.
As we're walking towards his car I see a guy I know. He smiles his usual mischievous smile and I immediately recognize him as Hunter.
"Novah," he comes up and high-fives me.
"Hey, Hunter," I say to him.
"What you doing?" he asks me. He has dyed-black hair and a little earring in his left ear. He has a warrior type look. He's actually a very funny guy. I like him a lot. I met him in one of my classes. He cracks me up every day in class, telling me all sorts of outrageous funny shit.275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uUAZaUFER
"We're just out shopping," I tell him.
"Y'know, it's nice to treat your girlfriend. Buy her clothes and whatnot,"
Hunter smiles and nods his head.
"Girlfriend? I thought you and Denise were.....I don't know. I just heard different things from people,"
"Well, if you didn't hear it from me then its probably not true,"
I look at him. Denise? Isn't that the girl he was with yesterday when he stood me up.
"Well, I better get going No," he says to me calling me 'No'.
"Bye Hunter," I say and get into the car quickly without looking in Matt's direction.
He gets into the driver's seat. A few beats of silence pass.
"She's just a girl. You know how I am with relationships and shit. You're the only girl who I'd ever do this with,"
"Why should I believe you?"
"Look, I've had a lot of casual sex with women,"
I cringe at the disgusting thought of Matt....... "screwing around" with someone else. I turn my head and look out the window.
"What if I'm just another one of your...."
"You are not. Never ever fucking say that again," he says sternly. "You never were and you never will be,"275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtnNgYUYJj
I continue looking out of the window. He starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot.
He rests his hand on my thigh and I flinch.
"What? You think I'm gonna hurt you or something?!" he removes his hand from my thigh and places it on the steering wheel. "Fuck," he mutters under his breath. "You believe everybody but me," he says quietly.
"Because you've lied to me before,"
He looks at me, his green eyes filled with hurt. Realization? I don't know. I can't read him like he can, me. He's hard to decode. He keeps his feelings under lock and key. I'm the complete opposite.275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoNdcpxzGg
"You're right, Novah," he says quietly. Oh no. What's that tone of voice? 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNTYtbbvT8
"We don't belong together. We never will. I'm a fuck-up and you're perfect."275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBptxPW92HM
"No, I never said anything like that. You need to stop...."275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JZ1pFCxL6
He cuts me off.
"No, Novah. you're barely tolerating me,"275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYe0bVjcw0
He pulls into the parking lot of the dorm rooms. What? I thought we were going back to his place.
"You can go," he hands me the bags out of the backseat. I look at him very, very, very fucking confused. Does he think he's about to drop me off?
"No, Matt. Stop always giving up on us,"
"There is no fucking us," he says aggressively. I feel like I've just taken a punch in the gut. "Get that through your head," he says quietly.275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytq7PNNyNo
I swallow my hurt and gather my thoughts.
"You're just saying that because...."
"Just fucking go already," he says his green eyes bubbling up with some unidentifiable emotion. My chest starts closing up on me and I get that panicky feeling. My eyes start watering up.
"I trusted you," I say to him, voice thick with emotion.275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwgTLP21mp
I get out of the car with all my shitty feelings and thoughts and run into the building. Again and again and again this happens. It hurts. So much. I run up the stairs dropping my bags on the floor. The dresses that he bought me.
The sex we had in the dressing room. Him telling me he loved me. His mom inviting me to meet his family. It all comes flooding in all at once. I unravel on the stairs. God, my clothes reek of....Matt. I'm wearing his goddamed shirt. I hold my head in my hand and crumble on the stairs in a weeping mess.
I fucking trusted him....275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUJJCFkrtf
"There is no fucking us"275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1WQDQRqXK
"Just fucking go already"275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY906bE6Juf
It all plays over and over again in my head. Non-stop.
I pull my knees up to my chest and weep. Weeping like I have been this whole week. Over the same boy. The same boy that keeps making promises and breaking them. Who brings my hopes up and tears them down. Who knows just the right places to touch and kiss. The right words to say that'll make me run back into his arms. The ways his green eyes call out to me. The way his piercings sparkle.
God damn it!
My shit is scattered all over the stairs, my raw emotions spilling out, memories flooding my mind, and hot tears clouding my vision. This is all too intense.
I can't breathe....
My throat starts closing in on me, my chest tight. I gasp for air, Matt's face ingrained in my mind. I grasp my neck, trying to breathe. I need air.....
I collapse on the stairs and the last thing I see is his face. The last thing I hear is his words echoing in my mind.
"There is no fucking us....."275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufzGMGwQGk
He crushed my hope. Broke my trust. Broke my heart. Hurt me in my weakest, most vulnerable moment.275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntNUxRauVT
It's over.275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupxNGN2kiF
275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLnCV90R9G
