Chapter thirty-nine
Do I love him? I mean, how can I be sure? I barely know him.
"I don't know. It's too early to tell." He picks up a football off the floor and throws it up in the air, catching it. "Matt's gonna be furious. I'd better go back. He thinks that the frat house is a fucking warzone." I laugh.
"Yeah. Men can be monsters sometimes. I think he's just trying to protect you." I smile at him.
"Alright. Bye Jon. Nice talk."
"Peace," he says before I walk out the door. I walk down the hall and back into Matt's room. He's sitting in the same spot, reading the same book. He looks up at me.
"Look, who decided to show up?" he says sarcastically.
"I missed you too."
"I was waiting for you to come back so I can go to sleep." he puts his book on the nightstand.
"You didn't have to wait for me to come back for you to go to sleep."
"I'm not gonna sleep alone if I don't have to." He opens his arms wide and I climb into them with a big, stupid grin. He kisses me on the top of my head.
"Tomorrow, in the morning we're going to the doctor. So you can do what you have to do. Cause' we had sex twice without a condom." I look up at him in horror.
"That's bad." he nods in agreement.
"Nothing doc can't fix."
"I hope so."
"Where are we going tomorrow, for our date?" he asks.
"A restaurant, I guess."
"Okay. What time?" I flatten my body out on the bed and Matt follows, wrapping his arms around my body.
"Eight o'clock."
"Okay," he mumbles. "I'll pick you up."
"Mmkay," I mutter. I close my eyes and start to think about how it would be to have kids with Matt. Little green-eyed children. With brown hair. And an attitude. I almost laugh out loud. I close my eyes and float off into a deep sleep.
My eyes open and I turn and see the other side of the bed is empty. The lamp is on at Matt's desk and he's sitting in front of it writing something. He looks over at me and smiles when he sees that I'm awake.
"Hey, babe," he says casually.
"What time is it?" I ask in a gruff voice.
"Eleven thirty," he replies happily.
"What time did you wake up?" I sit up and rub my eyes.
"Like, an hour ago. I watched you sleep. It was very interesting." He says amusedly. I usually don't talk in my sleep but now I'm worried.
"Why was it interesting?" He chuckles quietly.
"You were muttering something."
"What was I muttering?" I say, panicking.
"Nothing important." Why do I not believe him? I've never talked in my sleep. I mean, at least to my knowledge.
"So you heard?" I ask cautiously. He looks back at me.
"Yes. It's fine, though. I do shit in my sleep too." he answers casually. I stand up and walk over to his chair. I hug him from the back while he's sitting down.
"Please, tell me what I said." He turns his neck and kisses me.
"I told you, nothing important. If it was important I'd tell you," he says with a smile on his face. I look at him skeptically.
"Why do I not believe you?"
"Cause' you don't trust me yet and that's fine." I kiss him on the cheek and roll back into his bed and turn on my phone. Josh called me.
"Hey, did my phone ring?"
"Yeah. I answered it for you." Uh oh. I call Josh immediately. I don't what Matt has said. I already know how he is with other men. He's suspicious of everyone. Even from when we went to the carnival. He thought I was in some sort of sexual relationship with Josh. Josh answers on the first ring.
"Hey," I say nervously.
"What's up!" he says energetically. "I talked to your boyfriend." Oh my fucking god. My boyfriend?
"Yeah, what did he say? I was asleep. Otherwise, I would've answered."
"Nothing much. He said that you were really tired or whatever." I relaxed. "Because he'd just fucked the shit out of you."
"WHAT?!" Josh laughs on the other end.
"Yeah, I was surprised too." Matt turns around and looks at me with a contemptuous grin on his face. I glared at him. "He took your....."
"Yeah," I reply. "But he is not my boyfriend!" I say loudly enough for him to hear. He doesn't look back at me.
"Hmm. Well, that's what he told me and that's what I thought as well. If he's not your boyfriend then why'd you sleep with him?" I sigh.
"I don't know, Josh." I stand up and walk out of the room, closing the door behind me. "I think I like him," I whisper into the phone.
"But you just met." Josh points out.
"No shit! That's why I'm reluctant to like him." Josh sighs.
"Well, if you like him then he must be alright. Although, when I was talking to him it sort of sounded like he was trying to like.....push me away or something. Like I think he thought that I wanted you....as more than a friend." I smack my forehead.
"I'm so sorry. He's like that with every single guy I encounter."
"Well, it's late. I gotta get back to studying. You get back to sleep."
"Okay. Love you Joshie."
"Alright, bye. Love you," he says and hangs up. Well, that could've gone worst. It was still very fucking awkward. I am so furious with Matt! I am going to kill him! I storm back into the room.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I ask. He's sitting there with a contemptuous grin like he's proud of himself. "My best friend thinks I'm a slut."
"Why do you always assume that people think you're a slut? He's actually a pretty okay guy," he says casually. I walk closer to him.
"Why would you tell him that we had sex?" I whisper. He laughs.
"Why are you whispering?"
"Answer the goddamned question!" he laughs again.
"Just needed to make sure that he knew." he continues writing in his journal.
"Hello?! That is not okay. I don't need you telling Josh my personal business." He pulls me over by my waist.
"If he doesn't like you then he won't be bothered." I sigh.
"So this is what this is about. I already told you that Josh and I are just friends. And you told him that you're my boyfriend?!" He pulls me onto his lap and kisses my neck. "No! No sex! Answer the question!" he looks up at me.
"Do you have a thing for him?" he asks quietly. Is he fucking serious?
"No! Matt, of course not! He's my friend."
"Okay, then it shouldn't bother you."
"Why'd you tell him you're my boyfriend?" he looks down at his journal and closes it quickly when he sees me looking.
"I just wanted to make him think that you're taken. I know that's not what you want. It was just for his sake." He looks down at my waist.
"I thought you said that you didn't date."
"I didn't do a lot of things before I met you." "I'm a fucking mess and I know you probably don't want me to be your boyfriend. I get it," he says quietly. Why does he always do this? He rarely ever says anything good about himself. I tilt his chin up.
"Don't say that. It's not okay. Stop putting yourself down." he kisses me.
"What do you see in me? Why are you even here?" Oh no. Not this again. Every time I talk to him about something emotional, he pushes me away and says something hurtful.
"I see someone who's in pain. Someone who wants to be loved."
"You're too good for me."
"Stop saying that. It's not fair."
"But it's true. Look at us."
"Yes, you're very handsome." he chuckles.
"No," his chuckle vanishes. "That's not what I mean. I have all my piercings and tattoos and you....you're all....polite. We're not meant for each other."
"Stop putting yourself through this." He looks away from me and out the window. I hear a loud crackle and jump a little bit. Matt smiles.
"Don't laugh," I pout, embarrassed at how easily spooked I am.
"I'm obviously no good for you. I suck at being a good....person."
"Where is all this coming from?" he was fine a few hours ago. He scoffs.
"This has been here since the moment I laid eyes on you."
"Alright, let's play a game. Tell me three things that you like about yourself. I'll go first." he rolls his eyes. "I like my teeth. I didn't have to get braces when I was a kid so that was a plus. I like my hair. It makes me feel confident. And lastly, I like..." I pause for a second, trying to think. I'm trying to make myself seem like I'm confident, for Matt but I really actually...low-key....hate myself. "I like my ability to take care of others." That was a lie. "See? That wasn't so hard. You go." He starts to run his finger along his wrist.
"I like...that I'm fit." he starts to breathe heavier, still running his finger along his wrist. "Umm...I like my tattoos. And I like....you." I smile at him.
"That does not count. I'm not a part of you."
"I don't care. Those are the only things that I like. Now, can we have sex?" he whines.
"Stop..." I scold while laughing. He starts to kiss my neck again and all the anger from earlier dissipates. He stands up with me wrapped around him and lays down on the bed.
"Te Quiero." he whispers.
"What does that mean?" I ask. He just stares at me. He doesn't answer. Instead, he just kisses me, repeatedly. "I'll look it up." He looks up at me, eyes filled with humor.
"Please do. It'll save me the annoyance." I fake gasp before swiftly slide out from underneath him. and run across the room.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asks playfully. He backs me up into a corner and I let out a giggle. He moves closer to me. "There's no escaping me, babe." his eyes darken, and I breathe sharply. He backs me up against the wall, taking my shirt off before pinning my wrists above my head. God, I ache for his kiss right now. Of course, he probably sees that, and he kisses right below my ear. Oh no. Not this again. I mean, oh yes! He sucks on my earlobe and I moan. He lets go of my wrists briefly and unclasps my bra. He pins my wrists back above my head and takes my breasts into his mouth. He sucks on my nipple gently and I moan again.
"Let me touch you," I say quietly.
"What was that?" he teases. "You don't want me to touch you? Gotcha." he steps back.
"No." I squeak.
"What do you want, then?" he asks, knowing full well what I want. I step forward and he steps back.
"I want you to touch me." I while looking down at my feet. He moves a bit closer.
"Where?" he asks. Why does he want to drag this out? No fair.
"I don't know." I squeak. He smiles arrogantly.
"Well, then there's nothing I can do for you." I take off my pants and panties. I can hear his breathing hitch. Two can play this game. I walk right past him, completely naked, and sit down in his chair. He watches me like a hawk. I feel so uncomfortable, naked, but I need to teach him a lesson. "What are you doing?" he asks, his voice husky.
"I'm sitting down. I'm kind of tired." I stretch my arms out, showing off ALL of my cleavage. He curses under his breath and goes into his nightstand drawer to get something. I pretend not to pay attention but I see him take out a shiny foil packet and place it on the nightstand. Yes! I mentally pat myself on the back but quickly turn around when he looks at me.
"Hungry?" I ask innocently. I get up and stroll across the room to his book shelve. "You know there are some good places still open." He doesn't move from his spot so I up the ante. I crawl up on the bed and sit cross-legged. He looks so hungry right now. Serves him right. I wish he would just fuck me already. He's standing in the same exact spot. I pick my phone up off the nightstand and drop it right in front of him. "Ooops," I say. I bend down, in front of him, making sure to press my ass right against his crotch. He groans quietly and I can feel how hard he is right now. I wiggle around a little bit on his crotch, still bent over. I hear him unbuckle his belt.
"Hold on to the bed," he says huskily. Before I'm able to, he rams into me from behind. "You're such a fucking cock-tease," he says through gritted teeth. I hold onto the bed as he thrusts into me again.
"Oh god, Matt!" I scream.
"Fuck! You're so tight, baby!" he says. He slams into me again, reaching deeper than last time. I feel a warm feeling spread through me as I come. Matt pulls out of me and a liquid squirts onto the floor. I sit down on the floor, panting. Matt pulls his pants back up and sits down beside me. That was the most mind-blowing, hot sex I've ever had. Even though, I've only had sex like three times. I start to giggle a little bit. Matt looks at me, bewildered.
"What?" he says with a smile.
"I don't know," I reply. He shrugs it off. "I got you," I say arrogantly.
"What?"
"I made you fuck me." he bends down in front of me.
"Next time you pull some shit like that I won't be fucking you." I laugh at him.
"As if." He laughs right along with me.
"You're right. I have no self-control whatsoever when it comes to you. I forgot the condom again and I even took it out before-hand." I start to laugh harder. He scoops me up and sets me down on the bed. "Don't laugh at me. You were parading around the room, all naked."
"Can you hand me my clothes?" I ask. He picks up all my clothes and holds them behind his back.
"Nope. This is your punishment for being such a fucking tease," he says playfully. I narrow my eyes at him. I stand up and run towards the door, unlocking it.
"Give me my clothes or I will walk out there just like this." He doesn't move.
"You wouldn't," he whispers. He's right. I really wouldn't but I know I can use his jealousy to get my clothes back. I fully believe that he would keep my clothes from me. I crack the door and he runs over and shuts it quickly.
"Don't try that shit," he says solemnly.
"I was just kidding. I would never do that." I start to walk back over to the bed but he scoops me up from behind.
"Matt put me down!" I screech. He plops me down on the bed. "Can I have one of your shirts?" I ask him. He walks over to his dresser and pulls out a white shirt and walks over and hands it to me. I slip my panties on and then the white t-shirt.
"I'm tired," he says.
"Well, I'm not tired," I reply.
"I don't care. I wanna cuddle." I look up at him, mouth agape. Matt wants to cuddle with me? I climb into the bed beside him.
"I didn't know you were the cuddling type," I whisper.
"I didn't know either if I'm being honest." I lay my head on his chest.302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJDTCmY1m6
"You're really sweet when you wanna be." He starts to run his finger along my thigh.302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ujmu1DJuO
"Definitely the first time I've been told that."
"I'm scared."
"Why?"
"Cause' we've had unprotected sex three times. What if...."
"Its gonna be fine. I don't know why I'm so careless with you. I usually never forget to use a condom." I stay silent. "Its gonna be okay, baby. I promise."302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBSs1ox8bd
"Okay." 302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NRZd1gNnI
"Te Quiero." He says quietly.
"If you don't tell me what that means I'm gonna look it up, right now."
"Don't." I reach over to the nightstand and pick up my phone. I unlock it and look up what 'Te Quiero' means. When I see the meaning, I'm shocked.
"Matt," he looks down at me nervously.
"I gotta go use the bathroom," he says and goes into the bathroom. I didn't know he felt this way about me.
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