Iwasn’t looking for love.

Not then.

Not at the beginning of a new lifein BTech, when everything felt so loudand unfamiliar.

But then… there she was.In my class. Not with a bang — no. With a stillness that pulled me in.​​​​​​​Her eyesweren’t just eyes— they wereanswersI hadn’t known I was asking for. The way she carried herself, unaware of the spell she cast…

She wasn’t trying to be seen.That’s probably why I couldn’t look away.

And then — something close to a miracle.A twist of fate, or maybe a cruel joke dressed as kindness.Our English teacher split the class into boy-girl pairs for an icebreaker — apparently to help us “communicate better”.

A task I would’ve laughed at on any other day. But that day, I whispered a prayer.And somehow… the universe whisperedback.And somehow, she became my pair.

I still remember the rush — like every word I knew had vanished.But she broke the silence first.Anime. Books. Songs.She read stories I loved.And she seemed likeone.

Both a little introverted, both a little lost in our own worlds.But somehow, we found each other in the same chapter.

She smiled when I spoke. I smiled because she listened.Time blurred. The bell rang.And just like that — it ended.

And we never spoke again.

But something strange kept happening — our buses, parked side by side every day. Coincidence?Maybe. Or maybe a second chance, parked beside me daily.

Still… I said nothing. Because I was afraid.Afraid of saying too much.Afraid of being misunderstood.Afraid of being too much for someone who never asked for me in the first place.

I never even knew her real name. Not then. But I gave her one— quietly, in my own head.

Seren.

It means "star"in a language I don't speak, but somehow understood.

Because that’s what she felt like.Distant. Quiet. But somehow... always there.Not burning bright — just being.A kind of calm I wanted to orbit.

She never knew, of course. She never knew she was Serento me.

I told myself — four years is a long time. I’ll talk to her again. When the time is right. But fateisn’t always patient.

In amidstof all, one day, she changed her branch.Moved classes.Moved… away.And I was left wondering…

I stood there, not broken — but almost.

“How foolish of me,” I thought.

Waiting for the right time, without ever trying to make it right.

So now I ask— Will our paths cross again?Or was this always the story of a foolwho named a girl Seren,and never found the courage to tell herwhy?

BÖLÜM MÜZİĞİ:GECENİN KARANLIĞINDA...

Kalbimin bir parçası uzaklara doğru kopup beni bıraktı. Zaten her hayatıma giren kişi, benden yeni bir duygumu çalıyor. Ben her defasında başka birine inanıyorum ve o “hiç olmaz” dediğin şeyler bir anda oluveriyor.

Sen sevildiğini sanıyorsun ama kandırılıyorsun. Ben sevildiğimi sandım... Oysa kullanıldım. Birinin boş zamanında, kısa sürede boş hayatını doldurup kendine geldiğinde “güle güle” dendim.

Ben de onu sevmemiştim. İlk başta ben de onu tanımıyordum. “İlk aşk, ilk aşk” diyorlar; benim ilk aşkım, hayran olduğum kişi o da değildi. Ama ben o kişiyi bırakıp ona odaklandım. Onu sevmek istedim, onun da beni sevmesini istedim.

O şahısla her yaptığım kavga, haklı olduğum şeylerdi. Ben gerçekten hayalimde kurduğum kişiyi onda görmek istedim. Ama onun benden böyle bir beklentisi yokmuş. O sadece ilk aşkını sevmiş. Ben bunu anlamakta çok zorlanıyorum. Belki geri kafalı bir düşüncedeyim ama beni hayatına alan biri neden hâlâ onu dile getirir? Tam bir hayal kırıklığı...

O zamanlar ben ayrılmak istedim. Tabii o, seve seve kabul ederdi. Ama ben yine aynı gün içinde onu değiştirebileceğime inanarak terk etmedim. Bir gün gerçekten düşündüm: “Ben bunu seviyor muyum?” Sonra bir cevap buldum... ''Hayır''. Ona delicesine sinirlendiğim bir gün olmuştu. O zaman, gerçekten arkamdan gelmesi ve benimle konuşmaya çalışması bir an için “Galiba o beni seviyor” diye düşündürdü. O zaman, gerçekten ona karşı hissettiğim her neyse onun aşk olmadığını anlamıştım. Ama ben onu bırakmadım.

Çünkü gerçekten ona âşık olmasam da, onunla yaşadığım anlar, yaptığım her şey onu benim için değerli yapıyordu. O her kötü bir şey yaptığında, artık kendimi onu sevdiğime inandırmaya başlamıştım. Bir insan neden bunu yapar ki?

Asıl bu durumlarda ondan uzaklaşırsın, değil mi? Ben söyleyeyim: Bende öyle olmuyor. Onun gideceğini bilmek beni ona bağlıyordu. Bir gün gerçekten beni bıraktı. Klasik kelimeler: “Sen daha iyisine layıksın, bilmem neee!” ve beni en çok kıran, günlerce ağlamama sebep olan o kelime: “Ben seni sevemedim. Sevmeye çalıştım ama hiç sevmedim...”

Ulan bakın şimdi, ben onu bir kenara atıyorum. Beni hiç tanımadı ki.

Ben yoldan geçen bir yaşlı gördüğümde, bir gün onun gibi olacağımı ve benim hiç kimsem olmayacağını düşünüp hem o yaşlı kişi için hem kendim için üzülürüm.

Ben hakikati severim. Ben dürüst olmak isterim. Ve gerçekten birine değer verdiğimde, ondan çok büyük beklentiler değil, sadece beni kırmaması için o kadar kendimi açarım ki... ve o beni kırar. Açılan çiçeğim, soğuk rüzgarlarla geri kapanır.

Ben onun yanında, onun bana tuhaf ve yanlış gelen hayatında çiçek açmak istedim. Onu da, kendimi de mutlu etmek istedim. Onu her gün göreceğim için yarınım için bir hayat gayem oluyordu. Onun bu koyu karanlık hayatına girdim. Ben de koyu bir rengim. Kırgın, soluk bir renk. Ama içimde küçük bir umut doğmuştu. Onu gördüğümde dedim ki: “Seni sevmeliyim, hayatta bir gayem olsun, onu görmek için sabırsızlanayım.” O da öyle hissetsin dedim.

Ben çok yanlış yaptım. Ben kendime yine hiç affedemeyeceğim bir hatıra bıraktım. Benim ilk aşkım olmasa da, ilk sevgilim sendin. Benim hayatıma aşk manasında giren ilk kişi sendin. Bu yüzden, seni ne kadar kötü bulsam da, bana yakıştıramasam da, seninle devam etmek istedim.

Kendime acıyorum, biliyor musun? Çünkü ben hayatımda hep yalnız kalmaya mahkûm kaldım. Seni hayatımda “yalnız değilim, o var” diyebilmek için istedim. O yüzden bana yanlış gelen bu ilişkide sana ihtiyacım vardı. Sen gittiğinde, ben bunu bir kez daha anladım. Ben bu hayatta hiç sevilmedim. Hep kullanıldım.

Çok üzüldüm. Çok kırıldım. Çok kırdın. Benim senden daha zor bir hayatım oldu. Bu zorlukta sana kalbimi açtım ama sen benim o kırılmış kalbimi yere vurarak fırlattın.

Hak ettim mi? Ben gerçekten, beni sevememeni hak ettim mi?

Sen beni ne kadar tanıdın? Sen beni iki ayda ne kadar tanıdın? Aynı şekilde, ben seni bu kısa sürede ne kadar tanıdım? Neden kendime bunu yaptım? Ben seninle olan bu saçma sapan ama beni derinden yıkan ilişki için neden acele ettim?

Ya, gerçekten bazı geceler sırf seni suçlamamak için kendimi suçladığım oluyor. Bazı geceler, kendimi es geçip seni suçladığım da oluyor.

Her neyse, bana çok önemli bir şey öğrettin: Acele etme!

Senin bazı sözlerin, ne zaman seni düşünsem aklımda bir çiçek gibi beliriyor. Seni hatırlamaya çalışsam hiçbir şey hatırlayamıyorum. Sadece söylenen sözler, yaptığım yanlışlar, senin yaptığın yanlışları hatırlıyorum.

Ama beni o sarstığın zamanın üstüne tozlar düştü. Ben seni sevmek istedim. Ne kadar başardım bilmiyorum ama kendimi buna inandırmıştım. Ve sen, son anımızda bile sevmediğini söyledin. O zaman gözlerinin içine bakmak istedim. “Gerçekten bana bunu yaptın mı?” demek istedim. Sana hem veda ediyordum hem de “kalmamı söylersin” diye kendime boş umutlar veriyordum. Sen hiç düşünmeden o gün gözlerini çektiğinde, sana dedim: “Bu sana son gelişim. Bundan sonra istesem bile sana gelmem.” Çok ciddiydim. O geceden sonra seni hayatıma, etrafıma asla yaklaştırmadım. Bazen seni çok saçma anlarımda görürdüm. Seni tanımıyor gibi yapmak, senin zaten bunu gayet iyi yapıyor olmanı görmek... o acıyan kalbimi çıkarıp tokatlamak istiyordum.

Şu anda seni unuttum. Sana karşı bir duygum kalmadı ama bende hasarlar bıraktın. Ben gerçekten, ilk elini tuttuğum, ilk birlikte dizi izlediğim birinin beni böyle kıracağını düşünmemiştim. Ama hayal edebileceğinden daha fazla kırdın, merak etme yani...

Hayatımdan çıkıp gitmiş olsan bile hala üzebiliyorsun ya beni helal olsun. Artık çok yoruldum. Bıktım usandım....

Yani Naksu sevmek ve sevilmek istedi. Ve kıçına tekmeyi yedi... Aşk hayatımı başlamadan (karşılıklı olmayan)  burada kapattım. İlk bölüm: hassas olmaktı. Bu bölüm: sevilmekti. Benim derdimle dertlendiğin için teşekkür ederim dostum. Görüşmek üzere!

PAGE 2:

Back in the present, Yura writes a book detailing his experiences and the future technologies he witnessed.

Text (Narration): "In the end, it wasn’t about the fame, or the ideas, or the technology. It was about understanding the journey, the lessons learned… and the bond I shared with Allen."

Yura (thinking): "I saw the future. I saw things I never believed possible. But I learned one thing: we can’t control time, but we can choose how we live in it."

The book in front of Yura is open, showing a page where he has written down all the events he encountered in the future. The last sentence reads: "In the future, Allen will be reborn, and his name will echo throughout time."

Text (Narration): “I had to tell the story. I had to share the knowledge I gained… of the future, of Allen’s legacy.”

Yura (writing): "It's reality, or just a scenario… Who’s to say?"

Yura looks at the last page of the book, where Allen’s name is written in bold letters. It’s underlined, and below that, there is a cryptic line: "Allen will be reborn."His eyes narrow, as if he's come to a realization.

Text (Narration): “In this world, Allen will always be a part of me, whether I am in the past, present, or future. He’s more than a name, more than just a memory of a strange time."

Yura (thinking): "The future is shaped by us all... but no one ever really knows how it unfolds. Maybe I was just a part of the story, or maybe it was always meant to be."

The last panel is a close-up shot of the book’s pages fluttering in the wind.

Text (Narration): “The pages of time are always turning… and who knows? Maybe the story isn’t over yet.”

Text (Final Thought): “The book is finished… but the world is still writing its own."

Text on the last page of the book(written by Yura):"Time is fluid, but choices define us. We are all connected across time. I wrote this to make sure the world remembers: Allen will be reborn."

There are drinks that quench thirst, and there are drinks that comfort. Horlicks, for me, was always the latter. It came not in a wineglass, nor in any ceremonial teacup, but in a slightly chipped mug—one with a cartoon bear peeling at the edges—and it was always warm. Not hot. Not lukewarm. Just warm—the kind of warmth that wraps around you the way a grandmother might, without needing to ask.

When I was little, my grandmother would sometimes make me a drink of Horlicks late at night, especially if I had grown peckish or was angling for a bedtime snack. She always kept a few sachets tucked away in her drawer, nestled among hand cream, lottery tickets, and old receipts—her little treasures. No matter how late it was, or how tired she might have been, she was always delighted to make it for me. Never a sigh, never a delay. She would kneel down to my height, help me stir, and smile as the powder disappeared into the milk, transforming into something familiar, something safe.

Those moments, quiet and unassuming, are now among the most vivid in my memory. The gentle clink of the spoon against the ceramic. The soft hum of the fan overhead. Her patience. Her pride in doing something small, something loving. There was no need for words—just the silent, steadfast reassurance of her presence.

Horlicks was more than a drink; it was her way of saying “I see you,” long before I knew how to say it back. It didn’t matter if I had eaten dinner or not—if I wanted Horlicks, she would always oblige. There was comfort in the ritual, in the repetition. A bond brewed in a humble mug.

Of course, Horlicks was never alone in its quiet ministry. There was Ribena—served ice-cold, its artificial berry flavour staining my lips purple and cloying in the best way possible. Vitasoy came next, that classic soy milk in a rectangular carton, which we would shake vigorously before sipping, as though we were conjuring something more than a drink. And then Milo—Horlicks’ louder cousin. Chocolatey, energetic, never dissolving properly no matter how determined the stirring. Milo belonged to playtime. Horlicks, however, belonged to bedtime.

When I returned to London each September, I brought those tastes with me—smuggled sachets in my suitcase, labels scribbled in Chinese, the scent of my grandmother’s flat lingering in the plastic. But somehow, it never quite tasted the same. The milk was different. The air was colder. And the person making it wasn’t her.

Years have passed. My cupboards now hold glass jars of coffee and imported tea leaves that promise clarity and calm. But some nights—particularly the long ones, when the world feels too large or too loud—I find myself reaching to the back of the shelf for a tin of Horlicks. I heat the milk slowly, as she used to. I stir in the powder gently, watching it dissolve like memory into dream. And as I take that first sip, I am a child again—sitting at the kitchen table in Mong Kok, legs swinging beneath the chair, my grandmother beside me, humming as the night quietens around us.

These are the elixirs of my childhood. Not expensive, not exotic, but imbued with love. They live not in the pantry, but in memory. In warmth. In her hands.

It's going to be alot of question marks. I'm glowing cause I walk in confession of the dark. Mysins are forgiven. My wins are more living. The race game is played out. Thegrace flame is prayed out. Love thy neighbor. The dove blessed my labor.

Be practical. Theysay I'm radical. Had to take a sabbatical. If God don't use you the devil gonconfuse you. I ain't with the antics. My soul gifted make the demons inanguish. They expecting everyone to perish. I'm respecting everyone withcourage.

Intuition I ain't gotno student debt. Superstition folk got secrets they kept. They in submission tothe devil I ain't wept. I get paid commission for the new level cause TheGospel I rep. This ain't smooth sailing. The truth is unveiling.

You think it's acoincidence that Palestine and Palisades are similar. We're on the brink ofdeliverance cause the world is out of mind ain't something I rather say. Takethe veil off. Can't fake what you're made of.

Focus on Christ. Theyload us with dice. God is king what voting rights. I been hurt by them roads. Iwent to church for my soul. Got to search for the gold. I'm talking spiritualenlightenment. I'm walking biblical ain't signing in. Stay blessed. Say less.

Jacob's trouble. Wakeup you ain't seeing double. They in court with that perjury. The bad report isyou need surgery. Only Jesus can heal. When they see us they know it's real. Iain't taking no deal. I'm breaking a portion to share my meal.

Be an instrument ofsalvation. Free the innocent of every nation. If you guilty repent of thatfilthy. A.I. is simulating all types of reality. Pray I make it out thetribulation cause folk think they wiped out eternity. Today is an invitationfor serenity.

The world intriguedcause my heart is unique. It's overtime I still ain't fatigued. I know theywaiting like I'm in the gym. I know they hating like I ain't him. I glow likeI'm skating on the rim. You get tougher as you suffer. For God. They act odd.

I'm biblically sound.I'm spiritually ground. You still waiting for scientists. Truth is stillstating the war is a lion test. You could be tapped in but still capped in.Holy spirit within. They fear it cause the veil lifting.

Without Jesus you acriminal and that ain't a subliminal. You still in the prison of the devil. Yougot to listen on this level. Receive The Gospel. Folk tryna deceive every soul.God will stand in victory. It's hard cause they brand sin's history.

How you running freewhen they vow to summon the sea. God's love is something you got to see. Theheart of dove is what they hunting for the key. The power of the night trynadevour the light. Are you in love with God. Did the dove kiss your star.

I don't know how Godwill use me. I won't bow to their heart cause the devil tryna kiss me. That'sreal zesty. You acting a way to test me. I'm like iron if you tryna press me.The joy of the Lord they tryna stress me. Only God will bless me.

If more people hadthe holy spirit. The war is evil cause they mad you don't fear it. Used to bein the dark streets tryna find heartbeats. Now I'm in the day of light prayingthat I'm living right. Mind your own business. Open the blind to the witness.

Imperishable seed butI'm the last of a dying breed. Don't freak out when the streets is out. Youcan't sneak out when God speaks out. When them files gon leak out. They goingout the way cause the evil they seek out. They scared when you meek out.

Look past the race.The Book is the last of space. Biblical specific. Miracle terrific. The lightis a magnet of souls. The night is a dragnet of souls. Chaos hasn't happenedyet. Playoffs hasn't happened yet. When it gets serious you'll feel thepyramids.

Wonder how Jesusfelt. That thunder make the game melt. It ain't a smooth ride. I'm in the truthwhy hide. Holy spirit with every stride. I won't let it slide. We all got topick a side. Nights I cried. God is the one I confide.

Stay away from thesin. Pray everyday for the win. Even if you take a L at least you know yoursoul won't be in hell. Endure until the end with Christ within. Defend the poorcause the Lord's will on the cross is to repent in the light of where love been.

It feels like Americais a lab experiment. The real don't vibe with the character of spiriting.Acting you like in the truth but bear no fruit. My condolences. We all exist.Tryna leave me in the dark. They won't receive me cause of my heart.

The Gospel is my onlyoption. Every soul should be in holy caution. If I say God anybody can claimthat. It's odd how Illuminati will try to flame that. Jesus is what I want toknow. Folk want to freeze us but we glow. You can mock but our fate gon lock.

Everyday is moresatanic. Always pray don't panic. The world is gon be clocked down officially.The world is done when it's locked officially. God's remnant will be saved.Zion, Mecca and Khemet. All the secrets they kept it. The Gospel I still repit.

The Word is birthedfrom heaven's womb. The world is doomed cause Jesus rose from the tomb. Comingat the game like boom. They running from the name like zoom. The church ismarried to Christ the groom. God's love I search open my heart and make room.

Ask the Lord Jesus totake the wheel. They masked up in the war to grieve us cause we healed. Can'tworry about things you can't control. They get worried when you won't sell yoursoul. You got to grab their attention. It's a trap ain't no ascension.

Now stands for NatureOver World. They took a vow to stand for a New World. I ain't getting confused.They forgetting the sun's infused. I don't play by Illuminati rules. I pray inevery heartbeat I ain't no fool. They tryna slay cause I took off the wool.

Soon they gon enforcelaws. The moon is the source of pulse. You got to grow in Christ. You got toknow your rights. The pain is part of the process. The rain is the start of theharvest. In Jesus name they can't starve us. Holy spirit they can't carve us.

Society is thepharisee calling everything a conspiracy. Psychological operation. Diabolicalstarvation. A lot of gold in the federation. Armageddon ain't no celebration.Y'all forgetting prayer to busy with meditation. It's inevitable. Let themknow.

Smart cities ishappening. Her heart pretty I'm tapping in. Y'all ain't tired of the rodeo.God's saint is wired the Word is gold. I'm still walking Gospel. Jesus bloodspill unlocking every soul. Salvation destroy the average. I ain't scared of nosavage.

What's the final lawbefore the New World Order. They know I know that's why they out of order.Everybody got their own truth. Every valley got their own troop. I don't needno alley oop. Tryna inspire the youth. Rep Jesus in the booth.

Be patient to see theancient. If you can't wait on God then you gon hate on God. It's quite tragicwhen folk die in night magic. The Gospel is awesome. Every soul should blossom.I refuse to do evil. The game reduce to ego. Heart on fire. Dark is a liar.

No cap in the holyspirit. The wrath of God in you they fear it. Folk can't laugh anymore that'swhy they don't hear it. You speak biblical and they want to destroy your spiritual.They hate you cause your life's a miracle. Breaking it down like Jericho.

Behind the scenes.The mind is in the dreams. Stay on the grind I'm on Jesus team. Pray that I seethe sign of what peace is in the streams. The streets is flooded. The beast isblooded. The war is for your soul. The world's love is more cold.

If I don't go thruthe pain. How can I glow in the rain. Just want to know my life ain't in vain.My soul they want slain. Eating sugarcane. So many devils the world is beingdrained. Unconditional love you can't stain. The dove's light is trained.

Open your heart toGod. They hoping the dark will make your life hard. Everybody is dealt cards.We're all meant to be stars. Not industry wise. See with ministry eyes.Whatever your gift. Jesus is no myth. Holy spirit is who I'm with.

She want to kiss me.They want me six feet. Ain't scared of the streets. So many stares when you inpeace. It's rare not to bow down to the beast. In a few then demons gon feast.From the evil you must cease. Where I'm from God is pleased.

There's a mystery inthe land. There's history in the land. We all been thru something. No castingcall I seen thru the pumpkin. Been fasting seen that God is king. I don't careI won't join. I wouldn't dare for a coin. My integrity is spiritual energy.

The peace is heart.The streets is hot. The beast gon rot. No breath is guaranteed. After the egodeath heaven is what you see. Receive The Gospel. Believe with all your soul.To be eternally with God. Return to me when it's dark. Endure like Noah's Ark.

Homerun no matter thepitcher. The chrome sun scatter the stitcher. I'm healed by the love of God.When you real by the dove they act odd. Seeing my reflection. Find the meaningof my rejection. I bind any demon of injection.

Take your fiber causeone mistake is that viper. Stay present don't be hyper. Society got on adiaper. The war is for space and cyber. Her grace got me wanting to wife her.God is closest in the heart. From the start osmosis exposed the dark.

I can't afford toplay. In this war you need to focus and pray. It's gon be the sword that slay.In the heart is where I stay. Jesus is the only Way. No time for a vacay. Thebronze and the clay. This reality is night and day.

Faith of a disciple.Saved by the insightful. The love of many is ice cold. The dove is in my grannycause the price is soul. My spirit ain't cuffed I won't fold. I don't fear it Iknow what the Bible told. Won't bow down. They don't know how to act now.

If you reading thenyou needing this. Return to the heart. Discern who tied the knot. If folk stillmocking God then the yoke is still rocking hard. Repent with reverence. Youshould be focused on the heavens. Eternity is final. Society is vinyl.

The world is digitaland cyber. The Word is critical no diaper. Is Australia next. The cross ain't afailure we blessed. Just do your research. Don't forsake God cause of church.Jesus is unconditional love. They won't brief on the ritual of the dove.

Salvation is first.The world under the ancient curse. It's not funny in any chapter. No money canget you raptured. If that's even the case. We're breathing in God's space.Jesus is returning. In this matrix you must be discerning.

In my heart I'm in ameditative state. In the dark I levitated my fate. Now the light of Christguides me. They made vows but my soul is right so they can't bride me. I'mtapped into the vibration of salvation. Unconditional love for all nations.

Last week, our class had a once-in-a-blue-moon opportunity to visit the Thompson Art Gallery, and it was an amazing opportunity for all of us.

The gallery was filled with vibrant paintings, sculptures and installations that reflected various artists' thoughts and creativity. Walking through the gallery felt like stepping into different worlds.

One of the most striking pieces we encountered was a landscape painting, a starry sky that used bold colours, unique shapes and textures to express a powerful emotion. Although the meaning was not clear at first, our guide explained how artists wanted viewers to interpret the piece in their way. This taught me that art isn't what you see on the surface.

The other paintings taught me that we should be thankful for art as it makes us have a beautiful environment.

I forgot this existed 😃

anyways, enjoy this pic of my super duper epic fit from the other day

Flowers bloomed like stars on the field,

if one went missing, no one except those who knew would notice...

or maybe it was lonely like once I was, surrounded by the people whom I thought were close to my hearts.

A lost dream, a lost hope, a field full of flowers yet an empty soul.