Chapter twenty-eight
Matt
I'm walking up the stairs after coming from the gym. If anything, I'm too tired to feel anything about what happened with Novah. I should probably ask Jon for help. He's an expert at being nice to people.
"Hey, Matt," Alessia says as I'm walking up the stairs. I nod at her. When is she gonna see that I don't give a fuck about her? 425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIY59YAiTBM
She keeps trying to force me to feel something for her. Annoying. I walk into my room and head for the shower.425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZ3My5F8mq
I already talked to Ben. He obviously has some sort of weird thing for her. Good thing I broke his phone. 425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOUM4BlSVZ
He got Novah's number even though I told her not to give it to him.425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvEGyXkvSh
He had better not ask her again. I'll keep on breaking his shit until he learns his lesson. 425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2O4ZfiH2zf
What if someone asks her out? I'll break their fucking neck, that's what.425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabXp1apW6d
She's not to be fucked with. By anyone. I hope I've made that clear. I turn off the water and hear knocking. I wrap a towel around my waist. I hope it's not Alessia.425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2YK1NxsLM
I've already told her twice this week that I don't want her. Just because we had sex once or twice doesn't mean I want to be her boyfriend. The fuck? I open the door expecting it to be Alessia.
"I already told you...." I look down and see Novah looking guilty and innocent all at the same time. How does she manage to do that? 425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENUE7IwtMs
"What are you doing here? It's not safe."
"I came here to talk to you."425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGikc4vhPc
"About what? Come." I pull her into my room. 425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYx3REvaHc
"Don't come here again." she rolls her eyes. It's so cute when she does that. I hold back a smile.
"Everything okay? Why'd you come here?" she's too fucking considerate. I know she came here because she thought my feelings were hurt. They are, but she doesn't need to know that. I sit down on my bed and she stands there looking all hurt and twiddling with her fingers. I just want to pull her over by her waist and kiss all over but she doesn't want me. If she touches me, that's it. Physical contact is and always will be the death of me.
"Are you okay?" she asks me. She doesn't need to know about my feelings. They're none of her concern.
"Yeah. Why are you here?"
"I came to check on you. I thought I might've hurt your feelings and I thought I saw you crying...."
"I wasn't fucking crying! For fuck's sake Novah! Can't you just leave me the hell alone?!" I shout.425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNn87X4KIpT
Shit. I didn't mean that!
Take it back. 425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3Vum0AwKn
Fuck, fuck, fuck.425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmkUd0SHmm
She looks as if she's about to cry.425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YCO59Z7Xk
No. I can't deal with her tears.425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYHMz9sdh1
They break me. 425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKvqBPFgBd
Why did I just yell at her? Why can't I just tell her that I want her to stay with me tonight? 425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKciI7dEzim
That she soothes my nightmares. Makes me feel emotions I didn't know I was capable of feeling. 425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpTswCZtzF
But for some reason, I find myself not able to say anything. Her standing there looking hurt and sad.425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oWCjKGa74
No, baby! I just want to tell her that she looks beautiful when she's smiling. That I never want to see those godforsaken tears. But instead, I say nothing. I'm standing there, angry. Angry with myself for fucking up everything. Angry that I'm not able to control my words. Angry that every single time I'm angry I take it out on Novah. Angry that I just made us worse. Us. I didn't know there was an us.
"I'm sorry I came here," she says her voice thick with tears. I did that. I did that to this beautiful woman. I made her smile disappear. She turns around and walks out the door. As soon as the door closes I hear her let out a sob. No!! I can't let her go out there like that! What the fuck is everyone gonna think? This precious girl walking out of my room crying. How could I do this to her? I want to give her the world but all I've done is destroy her world.
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