Chapter twenty-nine
Novah
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I walk out of his room crying. How can I cry twice about one person? I try to wipe away my tears so that it doesn't smudge my makeup but its too late. There's mascara running down my cheeks.
"You okay, miss?" some guy says. I almost forget I'm in a frat house. I turn around and see a tan guy with, almost, black, wavy hair and glasses.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I say with a rough, wavering voice. Damn, I don't sound okay.
"You sure? I learned from my four sisters and mom that when a girl says 'I'm fine' that's a red flag." he says and I laugh.
"Can I get you a glass of water or something?" he asks. 344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRNTvCrc4w
A glass of water would be nice.
"Yeah. Thank you." I say. He goes into the kitchen which is at the very front of the house. I follow him in there. He gets a glass of water and puts ice in it. Yes! My mouth needs something cool and refreshing to calm my nerves.
"So, you mind telling me what asshole made you cry?" I sit down at the breakfast bar.
"How'd you know it was an asshole?" I ask. He sits down next to me, careful to come too close.
"You're at a frat house. This is where assholes come to play. Who would want to make a pretty girl, like you, cry?" I barely hear the last thing he has said because Matt stalks into the kitchen. I almost drop my glass of water. Boy, does he look angry.
"What're you up to, Liam?" he asks, his voice laced with venom. I freeze and look up nervously at Liam.
"Just getting this pretty girl a glass of water. Can you believe some asshole made her cry?" he says. I think Liam knows Matt. He takes a deep breath.
"Go. Liam," he says dangerously. Liam looks at me.
"Why? I was just talking to her about...."
"LIAM, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD!" I flinch at his words but Liam stays completely unaffected. Liam turns to me.
"Is it okay for me to go? Is this the guy?" Matt grabs him by the shirt and drags him out of the kitchen.
"¿Qué demonios, amigo? No te hice nada." I hear Liam say in Spanish.
"No me hables en español. Y no soy tu puto amigo." Matt says back. I walk into the hallway.
"Matt! You leave him alone! I know being an asshole is a habit for you but can you give it a fucking break?!" Matt looks shocked and Liam has a smug smile on his face. He grabs me by the arm and starts dragging me, by the arm, up the stairs to his room.
"Dude, she obviously doesn't like you," Liam says.
"You don't know shit, Liam! So just shut up!"
"Its okay, Liam," I tell him. He gives me an acquiesced look and goes back into the kitchen. I pull away from Matt and he gives me an exasperated look. He picks me up and slings me over his shoulder.
"Matt put me down!" I say and he slaps me on the behind. I laugh a little and he laughs too. Only we can find a moment of joy among the chaos. He walks into his room, with me slumped over his shoulder, and closes and locks the door behind him. I'm angry and sad right now. Sad that I hurt his feelings. Sad that he hurt mine. But some rebellious, uncaring part of me wants to kiss him.
"Novah, I hope we can still be friends. I know..."
"Oh, so we're back to this again. What are we, Matt? Hmm? Stop lying to yourself. I'm not gonna lie. After these first few days, I like you. But you're denying me a simple date." he runs his hand through his hair.
"I've never been in a relationship before."344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAlxF7UET8
"Yeah, no shit. Look at how you're acting and nothing serious is even going on yet." I regret my blunt words as soon as they come out. He, cautiously, wraps his arms around my waist.
"What if I.....maybe....we.....on a ..." he stutters.
"A date?!" I ask perkily.
"Yeah," he says and rubs the back of his neck with his hand.
"But I thought you said..."344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ863j7fU2EU
"I know what I said, but I'm willing to try things out. See how it goes. One condition."
"What?" I ask scared of what it might be.
"You'll...stay with me at night sometimes. Tonight, maybe?"344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEQAWwmTHW
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"You mean, you want me to sleep with you?" he nods his head slowly.
"Of course," I say and give him a kiss on the cheek.
"So you'll stay with me tonight?"
"Well, I...."
"I'll drop you off as early as you want. Please, I need to know that you still...want me." My heart aches for this boy. I don't know what lies under the surface but I know he's been through some type of trauma. He sounds so broken.
"Of course I want you. Why would you think that I wouldn't?" he wanders off in his mind, taking on a distant look.
"Matt?" I say and he pushes me back onto the bed and takes off his white shirt.
"Your shirt, Novah." I don't understand this but I comply. He sinks down onto the bed and my legs automatically part for him. I wrap them around his waist as he smashes his lips against mine and I'm shocked for a second. He grabs my curls in his fist and tugs at them, while he continues to kiss me vigorously. Our tongues immediately intertwine. He pulls away from my mouth and starts to suck and nibble at my neck leaving a trail of moisture down my neck. he unclasps my bra and throws it on the ground.
"Matt...." he takes my breast into his mouth and laps his tongue around my nipple.
"Matttttt.........." I moan loudly. I press my hand on his bulge and he groans against my breast with my nipple still in his mouth. I press against his bulge again, this time groping it through his pants.
"Novah, no," he says and takes both of my wrists in his hand and pins them above my head. I moan again loudly.
"Fuck. Novah. Stop that." he says in short bouts as he's kneading my nipples to perfection.
"Matt....please.....I want you." I say hoarsely.
"You want me? Well, you're gonna have to wait. Okay, baby?" he, very swiftly, takes my jeans off, careful not to touch me there.
"No Matt." I just want him to touch me. This is torture. He smiles deviously and throws my pants to the side. He, very gently, so I can barely feel it, grinds against me while kissing the base of my throat.
"Matttttttt" I garble. I try to catch my breath as he softly humps me while he's kissing my neck and face and everywhere. Its the worst kind of torture.
"Matt....oh my god.....please" he stops everything he's doing and I look at him confused, still immersed in pleasure.
"What do you want, baby?" he whispers in my ear, tugging on my earlobe with his teeth. It sends a shock wave of pleasure and I can feel it all the way down there.
"You." Is all I can really say.
"No. What exactly do you want? How do you want me to make you scream my name?" I moan faintly at his dirty comment. I fucking love when he talks dirty to me.
"I....I.....Matt just please."
"Don't be shy now. Unless you don't...."
"No! I......touch me. Down there." I know he enjoys doing this to me. Forcing me to say these things out loud. I hate saying sexual things out loud. Its uncomfortable. He laughs at my awkwardness. He slides off my panties.
"What about Friday?" he asks. He slides two fingers inside of me.
"What?" I ask, very much distracted by the pleasure that I'm feeling.
"For our date," he adds coolly, while I'm panting.
"Matt...Just..." I reach for his pants and start unzipping them. He smiles smugly.
"I want you," I say. He lets me take off his pants and boxers.
"Condom?" I ask him. He reaches over to his nightstand and takes out a condom.
"You sure about this?" he asks.
"Yeah," I say and close my eyes tightly shut.
"Open your eyes." I obey. He slides the condom on and slowly eases into me. He lets out a deep breath.
"Finally," he says through gritted teeth.
"You okay?" he asks.
"Yeah," I reply.
"Okay. I'm gonna go fast now. Okay?"
"Okay." he slams into me unexpectedly and I cry out in pleasure.
"Matt!"
"Alright?" he asks again.
"Yes. Keep going." I confirm. He slams into me again with a force I didn't know he had. I moan loudly, letting him know that I like it. He keeps going in and out with fast motions. I feel a pressure building inside of me.
"Does that feel good?"
"Yes......" I say sloppily.
"Come on, Novah." He says while gliding in and out of me.
"Mattttttt" I groan and climax, releasing all the built-up tension.
"That's right!" He shouts and spills into the condom. He collapses on top of me and we're both left heaving and out of breath. I keep my eyes closed trying to enjoy the bliss of my orgasm and his. He kisses my shoulder. How is he able to move? I can barely open my eyes. I'm so tired right now. My question is, how can we go from fighting to fucking in a matter of minutes. Only Matt. I don't think I would put up with anyone else's shit.
"You didn't tell me you spoke Spanish," I say after a minute of lying there.
"Yep. I speak Spanish but I'd prefer not to."
"Why not?"
"It's not important."
"Well, I wanna know. You ask me so many questions. Why can't I know anything about you?" He sits down on the edge of the bed his back facing me. He runs his finger along his wrist.
"My mom's the one who taught me Spanish. It reminds me of her and I don't want to be reminded of her," he says in a low voice. I decide not to press any further because this is obviously a painful subject for him. I sit next to him and kiss him on the cheek.
"I'm gonna go take a shower. You're lucky to have a shower just for you." I try to alleviate the tension.
"Eres tan hermosa bebé," he says and caresses my face. I smile at him. "Especialmente cuando estas desnuda" he says again in Spanish.
"Stop. You're making me feel stupid." He looks away from me.
"Well, you can come here and use my shower every night if you want," he says enthusiastically, changing the subject. "Those dorm room showers are fucking dangerous. I'm gonna have to talk to someone about those." I roll my eyes and laugh.
"Okay, Dad," I say mockingly.
"Actually, I kinda like dad," he says and pins me down.
"Matt, I need to take a shower," I say, giggling. He starts to tickle my belly and I can barely fight back because he's got me pinned down.
"Can I have a towel?" I ask in between laughs. He gets up, off of me and goes into his bathroom, and brings out a white towel. He hands me the white towel.
"Turn around," I instruct while laughing. He covers his eyes while I wrap the towel around my body. I stand up and start to walk to his bathroom but my towel falls away, revealing my naked body.
"No, Matt! Stop!" He holds the towel above his head.
"Stop!"
"You need to be comfortable with your body around me. You don't need to cover up for me." I am so not comfortable right now.
"Please, Matt. I hate being naked." He takes pity on my humiliation and hands me the towel. I run into the bathroom quickly before he decides to pull my towel off again. I close the door behind me and take the towel off, hanging on the hook behind the door, and put my hair up into a bun before getting into the shower and turning on the water. Not even a minute of being in the shower Matt walks in and sits on top of the toilet.
"There was nobody to bother. I got bored," he says and I laugh.
"You don't care about boundaries, huh?"
"What do you mean?" I lather up the washcloth and start to rub my body.
"Even when we first met, you were very touchy and up-close and personal."
"You didn't want that?"
"No. I like that you're affectionate. You're just very.....intrusive."
"In a bad way?"
"No, not really. I hope that means you care." He doesn't say anything. I think him going on a date with me is enough. I think I'm pushing it. Jon already said that Matt doesn't like to talk about his feelings. I wash off all the soap and open up the sliding door. Matt is just sitting there. Watching me. I look at him confusingly. He hands me the towel.
"You better put that on before you get fucked again." I snicker at his lewd comment. I walk out of the bathroom and he follows.
"I didn't bring any clothes." he walks over to his dresser and pulls out a white shirt and hands it to me.
"What about pants?" He flashes a devious smile.
"You won't need pants." I look away from his gaze.
"Did you eat anything?"
"A sub. Turn around." He sighs and rolls his eyes.
"I've already seen you naked more than once, y' know." I put my bra and panties on and slip on the large white shirt. Its a little big on me but reaches just barely covers my ass.
"I don't care. I need privacy."
"You're in my room, woman."
"And you were just in me." he turns around and looks at me shocked and amused.
"See? Your smart mouth keeps me on my toes." He grabs some grey sweatpants out of his dresser and hands them to me.
"We're gonna go get some food. I haven't eaten all day and you're probably hungry."
"I can stay here."
"No. You just came here for the first time and guys are already trying to make moves. I was so close to fucking killing Liam."
"Why? He was being nice. And you weren't."
"Stop being so naive. Guys are never just nice." he grabs his keys and I put the sweatpants on. They're loose. Very loose. I tie the drawstrings tightly. That's better.
"Where did my phone go?"
"Probably fell out of your pocket." I get on the floor and look under his bed and see my phone. I grab it and put it in my pocket. He puts his keys in his pocket.
"Ready?"
"Yeah. I have a question." he sighs.
"Did you really mean it when you said that you wanted me to leave you alone?" we walk out of his room and I see that its gotten way more full and there are now lots of guys crowding the living room, kitchen, and other areas of the big house. Matt takes my hand and leads me towards the door
"Hey, Matt. Got a new bitch?" I shudder at his choice of words, now knowing that he's been with many other women. Matt doesn't even respond and instead makes for the door as quickly as possible. We reach outside but there's still lots of guys outside, smoking weed and congregating around their cars. A bunch of them say Hi to Matt and he responds with a nod of his head. We reach his black ford mustang, which is parked in the front of the house in the grass. We get into the car.
"You have no clue how much I hate living here. I hate people to start with."
"Do you hate me?" I ask. He looks at me dotingly. He starts the car.
"You're an exception. I could never hate you." I turn my head and smile, while he's not looking.
"Do you hate Jon?"
"No. Jon's one of the only people that I trust."
"Who else do you trust?"
"My dad. That's it."
"What about your mom?"
"Nope."
"You never answered my question."
"No. Of course, I don't want you to leave me alone. I can't even leave you alone. I'm over here begging for you to sleep with me. I've definitely never done that before."
"How would you feel if I told you to leave me the fuck alone?" After a few beats, he says,
"I would be angry."
"Angry? Why?"
"Anger is usually my go-to emotion when I can't articulate my feelings."
"Jon said that you don't like to talk about your feelings."
"Jon's right. I feel very...intensely. So I usually just ignore my feelings."
"That's not good."
"I think I know," he says, irritated. "I get told that shit every day of my life."
"Well, you can talk to me about anything you're feeling." He just stares out onto the road.
"You okay with wings?"
"Yeah." He looks at me questioningly.
"You okay?" He takes my hand and brings it up to his lips. He plants a kiss on the top of my hand.
"Baby, It's not you. I'm just a secretive person. I don't like telling people, things. I promise, one day, I'll tell you all the fucked up shit I've been through. Promise." I nod at him.
"Come." I'm about to protest and say that I can stay in the car but I decide against it. I don't have the energy to give him a hard time right now. He steps out of the car and I follow.
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