就這樣,過了幾個月。950Please respect copyright.PENANAI8pwkShbBg
950Please respect copyright.PENANAxj7Jg1FIcW
對,時間就這樣快速地過去,生活日復一日,日日如常。950Please respect copyright.PENANAITsGElPrCK
950Please respect copyright.PENANAGP7NQtX4kt
思思十分習慣和朝光相處。有時,他不來找她,她就覺得自己的牙剝落了一隻,舔舔牙床時有一種莫大的空虛感——僅此而已,一旦有別人來找她,任對方是老師、家長、學生、工友,假牙便順便鑲嵌在牙肉之上,照舊吃喝玩樂,過活正常,毫無排斥感。950Please respect copyright.PENANAyRg2QfEr6D
950Please respect copyright.PENANAeLX7uMiUHQ
她很感激他的陪伴,雖然,看起來是她在聽他傾訴。950Please respect copyright.PENANAzEtVbVWw8L
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她沒有替他開file,但他還是來臨,有時說話,有時不說,和她殺死沉悶的時間。950Please respect copyright.PENANAAfqwVBxCdD
950Please respect copyright.PENANAySmdJ6lbZX
二人就算各自各做事,但她還是有一種踏實的感覺。和與阿朗相處時不同,她沒有覺得局促,因為她足夠坦誠,她面對朝光有一種不怕失去的勇氣。950Please respect copyright.PENANAHrACwizd8b
950Please respect copyright.PENANAjTbHy7WdHJ
她知道她永遠是她的學生,而阿朗不同,他是她的丈夫,她孩子的爸爸,卻不一定無時無刻都是她的愛人。可是,雖然如此,她一想到他一直是親人,內心就有一種不思進取的踏實,這一種具法律約束力的安穩無疑令她安於現況,不願作出任何改變。950Please respect copyright.PENANA2tyz0bL46f
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怎麼開口?如此和阿朗說嗎:950Please respect copyright.PENANANAo2Oo8HAS
950Please respect copyright.PENANAm8xKTWB11q
「喂,我冇乜feel啦,但係都係好愛你㗎,唔想離婚,而且我哋仲有個女喎。只係對住你,都唔太自在啫,我都唔想㗎。但我估,你都係啦——大家打個和,super啦好嘛?」950Please respect copyright.PENANA4FFqn3tcwW
950Please respect copyright.PENANADjVCVUkG1z
她已非雙十少女,過了豁達的年紀;最怕就算已將心聲道盡,也找不到一個豁然開朗的出口,二人只清晰地困在籠牢,連假裝也不願意,失去演戲的心思,關係直趨消亡。950Please respect copyright.PENANA4qOFnV6qwo
950Please respect copyright.PENANATGpJdZDwUj
至少現在,仍有互相關心,有些扭擰地。950Please respect copyright.PENANAqtkPQQP3Rp
950Please respect copyright.PENANAv3tTRCtobJ
「做唔做愛?」950Please respect copyright.PENANAxXs81sBnvx
950Please respect copyright.PENANAn63czVYaKj
「唔啦,你都攰啦……」950Please respect copyright.PENANA65Gmdg1VJY
950Please respect copyright.PENANALKBIh3ObdY
這一種關心,尤多。說話的人可能是阿朗,可能是思思,不定時。性慾來的時候,對方總會以「你都攰」去包裝「我唔想同你做愛」,被要求的時候內心忽然傲慢,皮肉忽然睏倦。950Please respect copyright.PENANAuck4uIuR5K
950Please respect copyright.PENANACadMKhcTtU
久而久之,寧願自己解決——950Please respect copyright.PENANAGfrlDgZ8wA
950Please respect copyright.PENANAhtxHpStQaH
手是自己的,節奏是自己的,快感也是自己的,不必等對方高潮,也不必強忍自己的高潮。豈不是比沒有感覺的二人機械式地脫衣濕吻,來得更快活?950Please respect copyright.PENANAmtijv04FSJ
950Please respect copyright.PENANAw9oK88s2pK
稱呼也有點變化。950Please respect copyright.PENANArpquAmr2uj
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思思在阿朗口中變成了「媽咪」,阿朗在思思口中變成了「爸爸」。950Please respect copyright.PENANAG0QR77O4d4
950Please respect copyright.PENANAvEM1oa25zU
他們開始很少叫喚對方,連話也不多說,要什麼稱謂?而只有棉花糖不屈不撓地在飯桌上吱吱喳喳,久而久之,他們也學棉花糖喚對方作「父母」。950Please respect copyright.PENANAltLhMBdzo7
950Please respect copyright.PENANAH3PcQVp3fM
說什麼一輩子都是老公老婆?這種誓言,是以旺角的機器筆寫在頭貼頭的貼紙相嗎?950Please respect copyright.PENANAbOf9UO8vKv
950Please respect copyright.PENANAwUEJL8daOF
一張過膠貼紙尚比句句情話牢固。950Please respect copyright.PENANAD0IgJRu23q
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確實。950Please respect copyright.PENANA2TBUtsHRaB
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阿朗呢,開始比以往遲一點回家。950Please respect copyright.PENANA9FP3y7M2DP
950Please respect copyright.PENANAeclF319ajw
他非常願意和不同的同事放工,當是一種消遣,聽別人說什麼都是開心的。他只是不想回家,不知可以和思思說什麼。950Please respect copyright.PENANAr25JhWhzdl
950Please respect copyright.PENANAssNhzn9HZl
每次,企在家門前,都要深深地吸一下氣,游說自己:「入去啦入去啦,有咩好驚?」他是不安的,不是因為他不想回家坐在熟悉的沙發上;他只是不想和思思坐在同一張沙發上寒着不必要的喧,沉默倒還好,可是他又覺得不自在,所以他會在搭𨋢時準備一些得體的話題,至少,不要讓情景那麼冷。950Please respect copyright.PENANAho3vLAhKdA
950Please respect copyright.PENANA75ovxxqFyb
可是久而久之,算了吧,還有什麼好說呢。950Please respect copyright.PENANAl5vJAnL0Ct
950Please respect copyright.PENANAUodiPZH6Qh
面對誰都比面對她輕鬆,他看着她眉頭不展的樣子,就覺得很大壓力。950Please respect copyright.PENANAgRxSCIqfZt
950Please respect copyright.PENANAHdNUySpM8A
他留意到,思思換了銀包。950Please respect copyright.PENANAhSm4UWAMTm
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她舊的銀包已經在掉漆皮了,她將東西拿出來,放在新銀包裏。950Please respect copyright.PENANAywnwOcGJho
950Please respect copyright.PENANADngTWPZ5Tm
什麼時候換的呢?他不知道,也沒有見過聽過她說要扔掉舊的了,只是偶然一次看見她的銀包變了其他顏色,依舊是平實的素色系,他才知道。950Please respect copyright.PENANAwRMIxI0AUE
950Please respect copyright.PENANAWkKMxAIbUq
錢、不同的卡、膠布、全家福——還有一張阿朗身穿中學校服的學生相。這樣算來,她保存了已經十多年,紙鈔硬幣會員卡的編號不停轉換,唯獨永久保存他的獨照。950Please respect copyright.PENANAei5N9uzewF
950Please respect copyright.PENANAUTfTLcRZ0b
他留意到她換了,可是,他不打算問更多。或者,他總提醒自己,下次看見的時候就問一問吧,當是一次關心,當是一次終於不生硬的話題,當是縮短一下二人的距離。950Please respect copyright.PENANAqcbgipkJTd
950Please respect copyright.PENANAweP3RcEzS4
平時,日子正常地過,互不相干,她覺得自己已經有一顆風來水往的鑽石心,在漫漫長夜照亮二人的只是窗外月亮,她已經承認自己於他,或已無任何光暉。950Please respect copyright.PENANAPPncrSrJhM
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因為她自私、焦慮、不安。950Please respect copyright.PENANAJoS71uH5RP
950Please respect copyright.PENANALp7YhxGTxr
面對二人漸行漸遠的局面,她只假裝視而不見,不作任何有用功,或者說,她私自評核所有事情都是沒有用的。950Please respect copyright.PENANAdnSCCCleKX
950Please respect copyright.PENANAvdfIf8fAxk
她害怕將問題清晰點出,就是用鋼筋鐵籤將二人的眼皮翻開固定,要大家都看清看楚,但感情總是經不起細看,愛成了殘品之後,從哪個角度剖析都是難堪的,誰願意直白地告知已經不被愛了、已無昔日激情和快感?誰願意委婉地告訴對方感情已逝、成為傷害對方的壞人?950Please respect copyright.PENANAmVGbOCXDdX
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最終,只會換來眼睛的腥酸和燥裂。950Please respect copyright.PENANAfSWHj2tezo
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俱損俱傷,何人得益?950Please respect copyright.PENANARbeAJAqt1o
950Please respect copyright.PENANA4V7xKJaSqn
阿朗沒有忘記,他很久以前給了思思一張自己的學生相,要她放進銀包裏面,務求從方方面面都入侵她的生活:950Please respect copyright.PENANA8qtSafjy1k
950Please respect copyright.PENANAieBN8372eK
「你宜家係我嘅人啦!所以,都應該要keep住我嘅嘢,唔準唔袋㗎。」950Please respect copyright.PENANA61z89jpnzH
950Please respect copyright.PENANAGoE3nLrHKV
後來,他在她身上留下的痕跡越來越多,譬如「咖喱雞」、情侶手錶、手繩、波鞋、水樽、室內擺設……可是,他得到和給予的愛卻隨着外物的磨損而慢慢流失。950Please respect copyright.PENANAX8DusEKm7x
950Please respect copyright.PENANAwyI5TbG6Kk
他趁她洗澡時,翻了翻她的銀包,他看見他的學生相。他的心就這麼懸在半空,如果早些天,他會覺得這不過是理所當然的事,但現在,他卻是驚喜的——對,她的心有他吧,卻無奈地好像失去了愛他的能力了。950Please respect copyright.PENANAh1anZHKdrb
950Please respect copyright.PENANA5LXL7gwe90
他感受到二人的躊躇是因為大家都拒絕面對轉變,因為一旦面對,就會有不可估量的風險,萬一其中一個真的說:「係,我唔愛啦。」那怎麼辦呢?950Please respect copyright.PENANAv5ZFjULtZ3
950Please respect copyright.PENANA078zh2ygK5
其實,他也很難過,內心閃過無數個改變現況的念頭。950Please respect copyright.PENANA4T0ioNFKtC
950Please respect copyright.PENANAJJ78gPOQjY
她看見他在翻看她的銀包,默不作聲,只前去企在他身後,摸了摸他剛剪的頭髮:950Please respect copyright.PENANAHgfLebUvre
950Please respect copyright.PENANAaZBiwv0zYD
「點解剪得咁短嘅?」950Please respect copyright.PENANAqao1ccccJJ
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他頂着一個標準乖巧學生的寸頭。950Please respect copyright.PENANAnE8IcZPIgn
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「天氣開始熱啦,頭髮又長,索性一次過剪短啲。」950Please respect copyright.PENANAd9JW1FTIs9
950Please respect copyright.PENANAim0xAggi7e
她在他的背後偷偷地飽含熱淚。950Please respect copyright.PENANAIYut6O9Fld
950Please respect copyright.PENANAztKlJRqKkG
其實每次,她看見那張相片,也會有一種後知後覺的痛楚,如同不知在什麼時候亂碰亂撞,過一兩天只見皮膚發青發紫發黑,按下去時,瘀傷感不言而喻,她是痛苦的;她覺得,阿朗也是。950Please respect copyright.PENANACyh5DkKQ0F
950Please respect copyright.PENANAybNFSj2v2V
大家都不再說話,心知應該求變,都想儲存勇氣作一些改變。950Please respect copyright.PENANAOYVzkAFI8f
950Please respect copyright.PENANA58EZoCRvBZ
既然心中在乎對方,為什麼卻由得感情逝去呢……950Please respect copyright.PENANAY17wT55veu
950Please respect copyright.PENANAF277NG8Phi
請安逸的人改變是非常困難的事,勇氣要慢慢的儲,要慢慢地打稿背誦做好表情管理。慢慢、慢慢,再無昔日乾脆,什麼都要細思苦想。950Please respect copyright.PENANAjvFyUOFQD1
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直至,朝光升上大學,他回中學探望思思。950Please respect copyright.PENANApjT0oGCSFu
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有些話,應該要說的,無論如何;改變來臨,順不順心也走出了舒適圈。950Please respect copyright.PENANABKWzIo2bPT
950Please respect copyright.PENANAWpV5EfGk2c