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午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaLeM64XfG
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCxCAtsmyx
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKRYkZcMaE
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQDskRPMAT
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiUbGFhevj
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7j2gwNT11
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLIJPHGPSF
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqu56NoSUc5
為何記住？我解釋不了。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHuGc3MmyV
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pkHVUsf3S
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4S2hnHkKW0
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVWOq3KONz
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9uXDdRuxV
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxO511m5NzV
其中一個是他。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyqdUhHflM
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUM0jsHacOY
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tpsCoxYJ3
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXevu05ajfp
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfTq4NKOp4
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQNvSHHRmI
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlwvw8RpiR
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMePQxiCq24
「你遺下銀包。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNHtsWZIkm
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKtFz0F4l0
「謝謝。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDmFn6wf57
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZfy25jeEl
「不用客氣……」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKA0TaN41oL
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOGZyYAVLL
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3dXtHxaRf
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXb9PmV28HI
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUmeWP5UNY
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Zj2bvjg73
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMJzpXspxO
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjdFEajkIP
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKHQXEFUe7
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHzLFbrOZI
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYBHaFxkig
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnoPsiKOsf
「我是文班許家偉。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzly6dJyX73
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVftpZDJU1n
「我是理班李浩榮。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXY1qaSh2d
其實我早已知道許家偉。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxq4S5157LN
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEBH8GXykJ
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JeBYbk9Qy
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7QxPO0ujF
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtU4IJR6kS
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FB51eBSfQ
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBdpMnXjxx
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjK0m8eZL9
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVrMO5TvMB
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBv7CMVFcXt
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXAgTjc5cN
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP06SsbICVn
不服氣。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcTXBZoMH6
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFGVXCUcat
繼續觀察他。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnt5xWiU2Q
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB39nwtzy4S
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0piRovo8l
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Jo9uAePhQ
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLbojHAQQJ
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURPdrFsmCw
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQ2Y5pwf0a
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4W6Wog3vFk
我急步追趕許家偉。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13WfC6e3jw
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5erI1mPjhk
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfWFaA7F4k
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxrKoCKRuy
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDgPJyMxJU
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXYLqdHYA5
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6ul58u6lk
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jWDQW5336
「你遺下了銀包。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡop0i4hkHOG
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJPJz2UEcw
「謝謝。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4Jf7xqGJM
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyb3ICZW0rK
「不用客氣……」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8dxVES7BJ
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLODWoei4y
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZ6LyQJl7d
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuajoUfvpC
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfMHGRn4EL
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Jr21or0B5
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtybwnm3sU
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbGmW187G7
我望入他雙眼。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIfOcVJAAT
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsN3tNupPCx
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuCryLxlcY
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0arCL0MXkc
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfg2aTKMrgl
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IPU6fIrsv
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uCShaAAEI
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5c7u9bYOO3
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vD6q4lCQn
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIc8gJmbJ0n
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WAk9lGM01
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcyJ88JXXY
「我是文班許家偉。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8vpNkA5TO
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvyMdnCAaY
「我是理班李浩榮。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSfTl0el9P
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgGycZ9Z0X
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtC9hRnUCS
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ut4yyKZ3j
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6X1N3DjDu7
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlhtyPS54a
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZienj87T3K
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyNMN9oD43
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeUeG928lt
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eI77Gl7gb
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkC8fgj8962
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2o2FcuLcRy
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXxtV6pftx
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8nCiEmhbZ
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9X7T8XNSe
但我沒有阻止他。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rsF8NVrfm
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaHA4BVcKR
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVMX4gIIQB
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVMwBzKbyM
我慫恿他繼續說下去。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpA0sk2yHm
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJhmBhxFQx
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUg3uSQH2T
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFTmjqKtau
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyQ1b5BwOq
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFM3ZsxJeY
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCypiwzNVUr
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3I9UkAiZsp
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatbmXpVwj0
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6gg8bkoRD
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrym2dNkjd5
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklceCtVcIm
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJaDYdSsQd
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fcDXFeN9a
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9n29QcajEV
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhehJ3u6qQl
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFuBhNkAky
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQtG3m3spx
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LbDO5wxvx
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWPos8dhVe
但我掛念他。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zfEW7Fwqm
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruVF1agh3L
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XuLUkT0UN
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknYEuZUvqG
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNZkcsEazP
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2xnX7uhRZ
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hyRVrgsXS
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiEWqHn5el
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpkajdicSE
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjAuMCTOYU
不要說。不要聽。不要見。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyyQGS7X6n
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ycaUDgzMr
希望時間會沖淡一切。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6r5x1cruj
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhGXsUUarD
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZ3hieDhcq
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCrRNKBeXo
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZrzX9deK7
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPN9cJt7Mr
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3MZV3oB1s
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozECM7jLeQ
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYfk0YwCrV
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqUoSZ0FCs
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYi1Bidzg3U
「我也不明白。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpLD27dQ6W
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOvBn8DaLB
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnRHE77D8v
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSkiQXbwo9
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHCCxxpStR
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YoMuZ749x
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn267Eyn2px
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfwH5e33F0
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwOg6sAMYH
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuc8uvFeF4Z
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBi55FsVn2
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuTthZXe7A
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oXVWqrYoD
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hOtHRch8L
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4qH2Ll47O
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RCXkwpQh5
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9zy8IB5Q8
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKifwCzlm9
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYT0GcmkVgT
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyKilkScWJ
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgB4Eg9SDn
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXrROp93E1
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBftjst09Vb
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwhqI4lheA
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrREwjojy9
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuQ62zkW4d
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpM5Ie2mUTo
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfH8hOlsdpR
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWh86liIHsB
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZNYNfQuqy
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxSEGQMoi1
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQORp2gioUg
為何要走到這一步？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpHlSWOtpT
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJPfA5g6tz
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUVw1V5d2v
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqVsu6IPbe
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYepXNxnZn
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmknTlCLax2
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ40RUPxQS1
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTixHG40vl
「別倔強。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgl6UF5GbQO
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6ykytiduu
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqJbEXRlBW
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilJsZeJFKU
「我想你放棄。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4olXqTo4ka
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmVYK5tL4F
「原因？」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMtQ735Bzq
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvY4pexrnhF
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxz20Y2Ks97
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKKZACKzaN
「我知道。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QHl47yJ1V
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgIzDehxe6
「何解還要繼續下去？」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAsa2dnyuF
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeJ9pXwNti
「感情易放難收。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKtL2wY09r
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0p5eHlZqb
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6NtyQgpDG
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcl9VAxxJR
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIi3fyxt7T
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8lyM48Ogj
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbQ2w5Q5p5
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvu5IOBYbv
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDZfuxdGFy
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVh3paZK2A
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfklqLuo59
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6gbqUsvvo
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVrkwQWPzd
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHprf9cehx
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsD60PefcoH
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsg23Z6MU4
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33zwYQHW2Y
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6Y8B1gB2j
小醉。半醉。大醉。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6WcvaLIsL
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqUkVCDP1e
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiPw78vigF
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxZ7IdRNZN
「直接講我愛他。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQ6KTD07tO
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhw4S9qYjO
「如果他拒絕？」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡij6D7Yswlp
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJkgMW6oo4
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEoGpqNQw0
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFjiRXmAiT
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXaTLfU5Gz
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxHXAGplNU
「我當然是高興！」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtykXjbhZQB
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9wazfOJXw
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4ACEE9ofL
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0W4b9Njxv
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpDKTTFxC1
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aErq0dPx2
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURBfj9vQm3
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSJmY5iG4i
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6Op5GCN5g
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5imLzsWo0
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2U1ObD5mIB
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2nYhAe5ti
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jjvC9M95A
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRwAmDWg19
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJxzRwPt4D
「你仍然單身？」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKD81WK7RT0
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelqkFpBqk5
「是的。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6tLmBFP40
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJewcClffJ
「要我當媒嗎？」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahckigCcGY
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoXDhu1rfp
「不了。難為情。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmyHzjvtQi
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bcyWPKRjD
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLzlF2UXmE
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMAKTTCcvM
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROithEE1os
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp86Ie2HSFo
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXP1x7VGvd
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQuLl3oQZl
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi16BzjbI3a
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyfGdd5Z4T
回家吧。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlx8idTVV9
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9UEN0NciR
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuQRypicPk
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEdcaDz6PX
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAYlHYeJkF
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOk29qWwgT
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNl0MMMjkt3
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKYygKCg8t
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HNvvFgodT
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlFQSbsNJ8
大概是一見鍾情吧。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VFx1CMH2r
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡca8xhYcOgK
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡql5MB6uiIT
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60ztdNNH1U
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ514PL03bdY
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGySMNwQ1w
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBj82W081rn
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6y6AUh8o0
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZtYs965qn
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2Y440MQrI
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPJ59mY0Mk
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03nIdPGpNv
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PgnC5FZXW
百感交集……482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OS1Iux9V9
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3ymlRhliH
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72lVWfGnq2
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoOyUTTzLp
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNV9Wqxqa3R
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEtsPvC88n
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡra7c2pFLuT
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEg9xwjEUB
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n6E9YPG8r
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RE3musE7S
「認得。你是文班的。」482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizAErq5Vtw
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCw9chA10B
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjSr8wX6US
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ulcb6YISa
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6NgdR0c8S
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTLEWCbcXy
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEaEG9tuDt
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXrz1BofQw
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCEixVRrrw
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSjIRgOpPv
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZmz49iasW
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4JuA4cmfB
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOsR2qdQzi
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeyuKBcfwo
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzO66Ioyngn
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSXKPwIMLg
我哭笑不得。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg61Db9fl0x
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTkmOr5eNo
無意跟他繼續對話。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoUJkLPeFO
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevcwuPrwa1
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOwGbiF3sz
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3ZaHLtEzy
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
