
天亮,上班。851Please respect copyright.PENANAuj6QyoZwcE
851Please respect copyright.PENANAjR7HFa54li
擠進人山人海的車廂,心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物,我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟,好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。851Please respect copyright.PENANADDkM8m5O7l
851Please respect copyright.PENANAD2HYxGXywW
車廂一如往常,平穩中帶輕微搖晃,教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲,繼續進食,令人側目。851Please respect copyright.PENANAEk3Kl5sFE7
851Please respect copyright.PENANAt3h5DeHqoU
食物的細碎,像沙子一樣,在人們毫不注意的情況下,悄然掉在地上,再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站,人們再肆意加以踐踏,令碎粉再度粉碎。851Please respect copyright.PENANAjZW2e7N9Vf
851Please respect copyright.PENANAoQRrja1g96
到站了,我有意無意地繞過人羣,「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉,心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上,我回頭望進車廂,想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉,但列車經已開駛。851Please respect copyright.PENANARBuSwMtbKe
851Please respect copyright.PENANA3ypFHHNkev
看不見,罷。
天黑,下班。851Please respect copyright.PENANAm3G6Q0VdPT
851Please respect copyright.PENANASZQChjbQWw
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂,繼續講上司的壞話。851Please respect copyright.PENANAoVpGa5kM2V
851Please respect copyright.PENANAaIGaib4o3s
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。851Please respect copyright.PENANAMzCana1Ege
851Please respect copyright.PENANAqsKuIBevSe
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不!有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰?我看不見……我不想看見……851Please respect copyright.PENANAhng0V8yTEz
851Please respect copyright.PENANA1fqRFKIaJZ
「啪」的一聲,男同事一手拍在我的小腿上,那隻螞蟻——扁了。851Please respect copyright.PENANAczQi16OsYG
851Please respect copyright.PENANA89Pmwcm5IF
「沒事了!」他笑了笑,問我:「你很怕小昆蟲?」851Please respect copyright.PENANAvZ0VqtPCCZ
851Please respect copyright.PENANAx02owEkxd0
「不,只是怕蟻。」我感覺到,我的唇還在顫抖,但卻仍勉力一笑。
公司,午飯時間。851Please respect copyright.PENANArYsNIqHbE6
851Please respect copyright.PENANAwCbech9v90
甲小姐正在上網看劇;乙先生在打盹;丙小姐外出吃飯去;丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒;戊小姐……851Please respect copyright.PENANAxYkHaHha7i
851Please respect copyright.PENANAOH90gq9HAQ
看著同事們的百態,我突然覺得自己和他們一樣,都是很渺小的生命體,小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事,尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌,不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎?那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別?851Please respect copyright.PENANAHaTDzKknJb
851Please respect copyright.PENANAtODWuRiuTu
驀地,我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過,卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上,讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失,我感到自己也消失了似的。
其實,真正的我只是一隻螞蟻,不過會偶爾做白日夢,幻想自己變成人類,過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活,是有目的的付出,有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑,多奢侈!無他,這就是意義。851Please respect copyright.PENANAq6YxsorI0u
851Please respect copyright.PENANAZXqX3Eh32d
還是……851Please respect copyright.PENANAbIZwKGPmkg
851Please respect copyright.PENANARgYn5CfZyJ
其實,真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢,幻想自己是一隻蟻,過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味,只懂一味尋找食物。無他,這就是生存!
公司,工作。851Please respect copyright.PENANAqxWgFDShnH
851Please respect copyright.PENANAddMkhYI3eC
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。851Please respect copyright.PENANAzT8vKAxl62
851Please respect copyright.PENANAYxkiFHFy1J
大家心知犯錯的不是我,奈何人是怕事的,只好把我推上斷頭台。事後,一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。851Please respect copyright.PENANAVDjao39woh
851Please respect copyright.PENANAXJ9brHqDr7
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。851Please respect copyright.PENANANbtG9rjUcO
851Please respect copyright.PENANA3BgAjaxO1u
剛巧,一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。851Please respect copyright.PENANAs6gexcvQny
851Please respect copyright.PENANAWJAEpvM9ak
快意,笑了。
酒吧,喝酒。851Please respect copyright.PENANAsoKH7GrnBY
851Please respect copyright.PENANAhSaI2NVIrA
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎?為何現在也怕酒起來?」男同事笑問。851Please respect copyright.PENANAtdkFqAkyGQ
851Please respect copyright.PENANAja3uleyo1h
「其實,我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。851Please respect copyright.PENANAK3qQRVjKJh
851Please respect copyright.PENANAQmiDp3IAjC
「還是……你根本不會喝酒?」他哈哈大笑。851Please respect copyright.PENANACBDuiP7obj
851Please respect copyright.PENANA4HY33zfbXU
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲,我突然變得不大抗拒,乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。851Please respect copyright.PENANAG6DVfzazgI
851Please respect copyright.PENANAeYkqicWxR0
醉倒。851Please respect copyright.PENANAf1XBhZgnGb
851Please respect copyright.PENANApa531WVD3t
迷糊間,我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體,不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲,想要到它的洞穴去……851Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5pl9MO2pJ
851Please respect copyright.PENANA9NS4D4nBSy
「上天取走你的一扇門,定會留給你一扇窗。」851Please respect copyright.PENANA42ivZXTr89
851Please respect copyright.PENANALCNP7402kW
今趟,上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。
假期,醫院。851Please respect copyright.PENANA5GwYpz9WQF
851Please respect copyright.PENANAjo4Ffb5JCs
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病,還未明確,因為報告要待下星期才會完成。851Please respect copyright.PENANAYGKEE6FN2Q
851Please respect copyright.PENANA0zKzDoeNVZ
看見媽的時候,家中各人都是淚眼漣漣,很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。851Please respect copyright.PENANAOWysU1cxtY
851Please respect copyright.PENANAfzmb6XhMLF
「我覺得……」近幾天,媽的話都變得斷斷續續:「自己……」851Please respect copyright.PENANAe7K631PwK1
851Please respect copyright.PENANA1OP2IelNis
大家都屏息靜氣,深怕這是她的最後一句話。851Please respect copyright.PENANA6TB3DvXZ6k
851Please respect copyright.PENANAQxWuAYTZrz
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音,輕如柔絲,但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。851Please respect copyright.PENANAK7HND1BPSR
851Please respect copyright.PENANAWfQIQzqpSo
死寂。851Please respect copyright.PENANAKjI9J8NsoC
851Please respect copyright.PENANAYlZ4A5G5kY
出乎我意料,這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話,不論是肉體還是心靈上。
回家,晚飯。851Please respect copyright.PENANAC3J5evbqxp
851Please respect copyright.PENANAdIXeBdHN6D
一枱六椅,異常的沉默。電視的聲浪,掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意,繼續吃。851Please respect copyright.PENANAQW4dMepcTb
851Please respect copyright.PENANAhkOMok1TAy
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子:「不如外出吃飯。」851Please respect copyright.PENANAIzi2HeK41A
851Please respect copyright.PENANAhyOa9TpW11
妹放下筷子衝進房內,甩門;姨低下頭來,但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見;婆呆了,眼眶紅潤;我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。851Please respect copyright.PENANAyhqFdysPJm
851Please respect copyright.PENANAOxfEDtl36n
我心想:世界末日來臨後,地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻?
每次望著媽,心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣,彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。851Please respect copyright.PENANAywIUfKAxfJ
851Please respect copyright.PENANADyyqItGvYF
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑!就是因為她是一隻螞蟻,所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭,去減輕她的負擔。851Please respect copyright.PENANA9kJxyooXkN
851Please respect copyright.PENANAuVEkiBMO6F
久而久之,我每次一見到她,便會掉頭走。851Please respect copyright.PENANA14dQOi9Lid
851Please respect copyright.PENANAmd9Cvcjgfb
但我知道,我永沒能走遠。
男友家,床上。851Please respect copyright.PENANANWc6dfnLhi
851Please respect copyright.PENANAyzJCVPgvrW
前奏後,男友進入極度興奮狀態,沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時,我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。851Please respect copyright.PENANAw5qBpOkxGK
851Please respect copyright.PENANACGi99su8Vh
産房內有一張床,床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了,是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示,她要生産了。不消一會,整張床上都是幼蟻,恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。851Please respect copyright.PENANAqJuBxOMkLc
851Please respect copyright.PENANAD8Mj5RfsfW
我驚恐萬分之際,耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音:「他朝君體也相同!」851Please respect copyright.PENANAtvyOi1LYOF
851Please respect copyright.PENANAxazM5nAPMi
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮,於是更用力……
舊生聚會,內地某酒家。851Please respect copyright.PENANAZYd0kjOl4M
851Please respect copyright.PENANAb1P19ojB8R
說也奇怪,舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意,說會給我們驚喜。851Please respect copyright.PENANAOSVDI5IgmD
851Please respect copyright.PENANAMXUnitznUm
「蟻宴?」我呆了,但逃不了。851Please respect copyright.PENANAMCtQ3rdTCC
851Please respect copyright.PENANACgblUGGDn4
「你有收看《天與地》嗎?」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。851Please respect copyright.PENANASnrenkA2jZ
851Please respect copyright.PENANAnD5XKKzDG0
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼!」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。851Please respect copyright.PENANATIIAwBNNaN
851Please respect copyright.PENANAEgYeiLHodP
「結局何如?」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。851Please respect copyright.PENANA1Or0oqbdDS
851Please respect copyright.PENANABUrtSPeLef
「沒好下場!」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。851Please respect copyright.PENANA3yvRkKovO5
851Please respect copyright.PENANAS7g1fIvW3M
「對!沒好下場!」我在心裡重覆著,衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。
男友有很多恐怖的寵物:蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時,他都會放一些寵物在床邊,以增加他的性趣。851Please respect copyright.PENANAYE0YC1ESEz
851Please respect copyright.PENANA7BGQat0I2Y
今趟,床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後,我不經意的問道:「你的寵物呢?」851Please respect copyright.PENANAQ0IS1gMTYR
851Please respect copyright.PENANArLss5Vudml
「在你體內。」851Please respect copyright.PENANA3RJgiB6xwJ
851Please respect copyright.PENANALQTxTQJ7yB
「甚麼?」851Please respect copyright.PENANAEI8p0I1nk7
851Please respect copyright.PENANAbzYZpOgBvA
「蟻。」
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。851Please respect copyright.PENANApgMnVypGrp
851Please respect copyright.PENANAbb0OJKzPwD
它平常會做甚麼?做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯,它會做的事真的很多,但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活!它最好立刻消失!851Please respect copyright.PENANArWvWSiIcr5
851Please respect copyright.PENANAvxtf5JCEln
結果,我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。
靈堂上,我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。851Please respect copyright.PENANARmQPZX885k
851Please respect copyright.PENANAVOJqsqCZYw
「她真的死了嗎?」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊,但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。851Please respect copyright.PENANAmCfOLoPpP3
851Please respect copyright.PENANAlrsRxprdfP
「誰?」另一聲音反問。851Please respect copyright.PENANAbKlGaLwZ49
851Please respect copyright.PENANAsEqedQXx80
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道:「她……」851Please respect copyright.PENANAlAPkiORpcQ
851Please respect copyright.PENANA28r9DFwdEO
靜。851Please respect copyright.PENANAskgQ1g76ky
851Please respect copyright.PENANABr66wUByo6
我回過神來,低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。
我:「我的耳朵有毛病嗎?為何會聽到螞蟻講話?」851Please respect copyright.PENANAKr1GD4BY9Y
851Please respect copyright.PENANAVsG542vGAW
醫:「不。是你的壓力過大,導致有幻聽。」851Please respect copyright.PENANAPHkQ7Lzdxu
851Please respect copyright.PENANAvhZstUoXLd
我:「我有精神病?」851Please respect copyright.PENANATdXa7IuqNL
851Please respect copyright.PENANAFoE1TEjfcC
醫:「是情緒病。」851Please respect copyright.PENANAeWvZr9Tl6w
851Please respect copyright.PENANAulfW6PPOB8
我:「怎麼辦?」851Please respect copyright.PENANAjHK8xgqqFM
851Please respect copyright.PENANAZHGqrNiw17
醫:「我會處方一些藥物,你要按時服用;另外,你也要多休息……」851Please respect copyright.PENANAo4rE2WD4jK
851Please respect copyright.PENANAskNl5zmwES
我:「謝謝醫生。」851Please respect copyright.PENANAd3PuaZmiZh
851Please respect copyright.PENANAwBoQLCbTrZ
醫:「不用謝。」851Please respect copyright.PENANABVc9BQrvB5
851Please respect copyright.PENANA55ar51IcPN
離開診所時,我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。851Please respect copyright.PENANA1taKAN5XKC
851Please respect copyright.PENANAqGOLKHNRwF
不,我走近細看,是「虫馬虫義」專科。
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻?851Please respect copyright.PENANArphlW8IAo7
851Please respect copyright.PENANApPdmCp8Dtn
醫生替我作身體檢查,一切正常;851Please respect copyright.PENANA2HxTNPP4AX
851Please respect copyright.PENANA9m6nundBBi
男友向我解釋,螞蟻之說,純粹幽默;851Please respect copyright.PENANAXOmsQQVbbu
851Please respect copyright.PENANANrd4Qwnmxu
同事都勸我休息,減少工作量;851Please respect copyright.PENANAplzPhOmT41
851Please respect copyright.PENANAoU7kEqFfGn
……851Please respect copyright.PENANAnMKZ5x486l
851Please respect copyright.PENANAWHwyN3uFii
「真的有蟻在我體內!」我尖叫,奪門而出,從天台一躍而下,肝腦塗地。851Please respect copyright.PENANATN4DYpO6MR
851Please respect copyright.PENANAWTTqLTwbof
臨死前,我看見那東西了——不是蟻,是……