x
天亮，上班。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsFK9IOqZs
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5txy7g3NZ
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0CnDFSGZ8
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdkPFyXBx2
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVoXvoX3CQ
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hRLEJkBoI
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SZwuFG7H3
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSFdRqwADs
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbxitakbIZ
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ESipC0jy8
看不見，罷。
天黑，下班。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIuZFwPOaH
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuV0M1CeIim
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyb5nzphxHF
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0s6SiMbtL
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNj8OZcxaw3
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsjEJiq3GN
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkuf06y5O9
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyki3zErJh
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOCqsIZFQx
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUJHgheWym
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjzGysj608
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCrPAUh0sl
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。
公司，午飯時間。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpp32YmsPD
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCcTKzMQaY
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6lKrDGffM
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAy9Ar5JfA
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8Rp3yT9lA
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwPPthwj1r
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmQqmM0YFU
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡta0Zc4lrBE
還是……881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqOqENN9c7
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4zZAPhit3
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！
公司，工作。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACpln4Rqp9
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡck0rjKkwyl
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTJTb2j1L4
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsreZYJoHqr
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AKzzNUbnG
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGa7Oe8haQ
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrwI8mjvbi
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsPFQVn6gD
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmlgF1RZCs
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4tGpVmdCW
快意，笑了。
酒吧，喝酒。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQ1fHlUF3U
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaR7RNfdBp7
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqMyodSlBg
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88Uk44y5Ze
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuIAYqjqd6
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hUGjcvyT3
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9xhsYsvI6
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3w5LB3KkR2
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63aj25eFiH
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyE5PUa4jko
醉倒。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjOqcwvDaZ
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1qxHAkXxv
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4knfu34UK
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbQmtOUqlT
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8GlN8aZBq
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vNjNL560l
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。
假期，醫院。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZOSRkErae
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fQyzFmH1m
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqO3adnXe4O
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIxbsqKAro
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUpgtVvuCT
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2Gt1G3O68
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUZh04pJGH
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CSasoWvmp
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2Z2L55kKo
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2LJOtEtQz
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0H32rWDXB2
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qfvtBQcIE
死寂。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZ5FFG0QH9
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHHerTK2ok
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。
回家，晚飯。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiOhE7CnyJ
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPseaaw1CWR
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PS9FLkpa1
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRPK4skQYN
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41VyTAZ6Vo
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMmVDjnweh
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeOhUHkVbH
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RPLDwq08R
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAOqcWW7nR
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPYL5EtFwL
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZIg6qlkfE
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9MCES3X9A
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHRY1UCm14
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOcmiOIjyK
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。
男友家，床上。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI38t1zC4uB
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZlkwlWHkb
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqa53Z29Yk
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUb9r0wdk0z
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUr4Vro3L0u
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGOqmv3Tu1
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGy1qCZV5kQ
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BOAE37d0x
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhoVGMroRi
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjxChhgZFN
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCw9myt4vD
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMtlGVrAT4
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmgwlip4Vu
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDjds1F3JW
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Y4YIx5PRI
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkY1DuG8eVu
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZkhoB9vlP
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwYiTxQNU6
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRTO0pr5q1
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ESkJw3HTL
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmFnhUA839
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPI6S2hVyy
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UIBlqm6rt
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX89wQwkvjC
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAJO3kKC8f
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd85vc8vaqA
「在你體內。」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGO7nWNQx3
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL80VZd3ATh
「甚麼？」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LMxfD7hz6
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd0uhW1U80
「蟻。」
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSFGdNAHXg
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyGdcKEOON
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkc7tAH4nR
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGmJ45HhpQ
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDQq7AN5ao
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0s6HLH48E
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIGOo5yhGV
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5qaGSZzlI
「誰？」另一聲音反問。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhldicl8m8
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwaGYHAytu
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU55DSSmOJE
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2mi6nfNPD
靜。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodATiAgB7R
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQ1esVAK32
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiliTAzJCY
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2lL23Didh
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk40N5PqeH1
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFd5Ilv9mk
我：「我有精神病？」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oC8srZYuS
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4CBmBOz2D
醫：「是情緒病。」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8a8DHPR7l
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhjltll99R
我：「怎麼辦？」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgLWfFYNk1
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oLvvBr7fP
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cWXmnsJLT
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2f65mTYwcz
我：「謝謝醫生。」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHotMC2ulD
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FMfAOFeVs
醫：「不用謝。」881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwtizQp0Tm
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhqhvVUgNI
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIDdoWth4r
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLueVzLlJi
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzt8w6zmEu5
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RkkJ34ybW
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXVg9NGvHf
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9k97O5lKf
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYhWtEw60K
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjSFZMS3Yh
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5EQW9BEcB
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivCauN6rzw
……881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9YeSLEtJu
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhR7VyEKFzq
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJb5MByxCBF
881Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZvbtpI4tg
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
