x
根據居民的指示，我沿著竹林小徑走了一整天，終於到達目的地：一間全竹結構的寺廟。它比我預想中更為破落，冷冷清清的。我抬頭望向高高懸掛在山門的匾額，寫著「竹寺」。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLEtfSvGiK
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzh3ZAeu7y
蠻有意思的名字。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4h0utmAZU
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMu4tLa6Ti5
當我正要邁步內進時，一個打扮樸素的瘦削大叔剛好開門踏出。四目交投，雙方都愣住了幾秒。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepQh5kdWxS
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7m72i3fCbn
「歡迎內進。」沒等我回答，大叔已轉身為我引路。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXAfvG4zLE
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVF4SpBaJOe
眼見天色漸暗，我不再磨蹭，看能否找到綫索，省卻逗留此地的時間：「不好意思喔，大叔！請問黃XX女士住在這裡嗎？」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkdmz6DdyK
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn95Te4MHaP
大叔的腳步突兀地戛然而止。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuBgEVDqwo
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQRisLKmBq
是我的提問過於唐突嗎？558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXDTVoxjDc
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAsHq5R68O
大叔回頭仔細打量我，神色疑惑，似乎在猜測我和黃女士的關係。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTGfHrLbkr
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdg5FFh6gtp
「有人託我將信件親手轉交予黃女士。」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJXE6cXcLc
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG62jyAx0sJ
「黃女士已離開這裡好一段時間，不知何時會回來……甚或是不知會否回來。」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8uEAlxAke
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHH1DkZFRf
「她有透露去處嗎？」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDE19k2pvh
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrdiq5hIR2
「沒有……我帶你去她昔日的房間試找綫索。」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmnrpMocrS
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzA98q3BGv
大叔再次邁步，步履沒有之前的輕，重若銀鉛。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDa5kFr3JM
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1GWUTda3b
陰冷的空氣，空洞的房間，慘白的牆身，最基本的傢俬和雜物。沒有生活的氣息。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FP5f70JUo
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXDNvM4BBc
「剛才在門外碰見你，也還真令我驚訝。」大叔沒有進入房間，逕自在門外呢呢喃喃。「竹寺曾香火鼎盛。後來毗鄰的兩個小鎮分別新建更大更金碧輝煌的寺廟，無意間將信眾分流開去，到來竹寺掛單的僧侶亦逐漸減少，住持最終徇眾要求到另一寺廟主持大局。他指派我長駐於此，打掃清潔，說要方便途經的旅客。我一直覺得他想多了，豈料今天就遇見你。」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWNZC2nRAr
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiBYjd6wki
「可能佛祖不想我白走一趟。」我話中有話，提醒侍奉佛祖的大叔不要忘記佛祖的存在，萬萬不能撒謊。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2J9ZO0xKsa
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2dVGbXSfv
「我可以明天帶你見住持。他有掛單紀錄，可能有黃女士的聯絡資料。」大叔也不是省油的燈，簡單幾句就將我逼至沒有退路的位置：「但我希望你能先對我坦白事情的前因後果。住持是個大忙人。我可不希望為他增添不必要的麻煩。」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64YCbYfGIR
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDFAaBjHaO
我只得坦白交代。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3B9hl7yvC5
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfzhz6ciKK
我的妻子過身了。臨終前，她希望我能預留一年時間為她完成唯一的遺願：親手將遺書交予離家出走多年的生母——黃女士。事隔多年，黃女士曾在多個地方落腳。我每次根據綫索趕至時，她早已遷居。輾轉間，我追尋至竹寺……558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Bwg5aeBKb
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYBZYPxaHJ
「距離一年限期，還剩多少日子？」大叔生起關切之情。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9Mt3qqyqv
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPYV08f2W2
「三日。竹寺很可能是我的最後機會。」我加倍留意他的神色舉止。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlxxUoALdq
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXtoN84FEf
「不考慮延長？」大叔表現出來的的關切絕對超過一個陌生人該有的限度。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgn17kodL9
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrdXNW49ns
「妻子信緣份。她認為努力過後仍沒能找到，證明彼此有緣無份，毋須強求。她還叮囑我要燒毀遺書。」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnCw4mSBPX
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sgUKEkn0l
大叔若有所思後，講出驚人的一句：「若果一年期限屆滿時仍找不到黃女士，介意給我看看遺書嗎？」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjO6LXV6Pfw
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87SGaBRYTj
「極度介意！」我心裡認定大叔有事隱瞞。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwnakQIWHD
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18LS8e0Dpj
尷尬氣氛令大叔不再多話。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EZcXtpauH
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCulIskIfW
晚餐後，大叔在其他地方忙著，我則留在房間對著愛妻的照片痛哭一場。哭過以後，壓力得以紓緩，但心頭卻未能添加半分澄明，混沌混濁。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvusOVN0Uzn
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGEy06PFqq
我離房在寺內溜達散心。逛著逛著，忽爾看見大叔彎腰對著花園中的小樹喁喁細語，臉上盡是蜜甜。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6YcOD5fE8
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡub7ifzTYJJ
我上前跟大叔打招呼。他微笑回應，和顏悅色，渾身散發著慈祥氣息，沒有白天時的隔膜。我嘗試放下戒心，開心見誠與他聊天。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBPfx01zup
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjP34vf1XD7
不知怎地，聊著聊著，話題竟牽到大叔的心事去。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjH98JhtCIn
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMH4xlqYpP
「貪，使人執著於一切順情之境。嗔，使人執著於一切違情之境。痴，使人不明白真理，致使生起貪嗔。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3LoqkXKiA
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gQ3k9eHw5
我痴愚半生，痛苦不已。到此地求法，希望住持指點迷津。但他認為我凡心未盡，要我留在這裡靜思。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiKFZdF5dE
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLPWsIRgjB
我在竹寺侍奉多年，住持依然不為所動。我以為他在敷衍我。今天遇到你，我才明白住持所言非虛：任何無關的人事物都可輕易勾起我對逝去伴侶的思念。」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ioj3C4mlO
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKunWKn7GX
我終於明白初時大叔何以對我不太友善。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGZ7i4icT5
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25kA1uyOot
將心比心。喪妻之後，任何人事物均能勾起我和對太太的思念。我曾抱怨上天幸災樂禍，何解不讓我安靜避世。我已盡力放下身邊一切，辭掉工作，不聯絡親友，遷出愛巢，但偏偏愛妻的遺願就是要我去彌補她的畢生遺憾！我沒有一刻能放下她，因為我的分分秒秒就是為她而過。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbaemZyG3H
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOi0dEo9noF
那種痛苦實非筆墨所能形容。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQNSmxXKTH
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiMQu1FGRM
「你的妻子真聰明，給你的痛苦設下一年期限。只要你在這一年裡拼命為她圓願，往後也就了無遺憾或悔疚。我可沒那麼幸運，不知要拖著這副臭皮囊乾等到哪年哪月哪日……」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNBUq4GamR
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUweRJbLgLd
說罷，他跟我和小樹說晚安，然後揚長而去。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4TXZOZO8g
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsTKehCN8b
翌日，我翻遍整間竹寺亦找不到大叔，只在他的房間找到他留給我的手繪地圖。我跟著地圖的指示走了大半天，來到住持現處的寺廟。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz5cuK5HfW
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFR51aqPk3
住持聽罷我的經歷後，不禁黯然慨嘆：「黃女士始終凡心未盡……」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgHg3sbgK4
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpkg6X3Fdn
黃女士當年拋夫棄女，與情夫私奔。豈料甜蜜日子不長久，情夫患急病逝世。黃女士大受打擊，認為是自己作孽甚深，連累情夫。她來到竹寺，望住持能指點迷津。住持認為她深陷激動情緒當中，容易作出錯誤選擇，逐要她在竹寺靜思己過。可惜她半夜逃離。當黃女士重臨竹寺時，她已花光積蓄在黑市做手術整容及變性，以情夫的外表現身……558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzpVfdP7sw
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSBfLeZH6g
「大叔就是黃女士？」我不禁驚呼。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAkhXkTV4C
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1U2gdbf0U
震驚之情瞬間即逝，取而代之的是說不出的矛盾。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStUQHs6FWV
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9VuOm5aqU
這個人，我恨不來，亦原諒不了。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPasR30sU6
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUOznfg0cd
翌日，我和住持往竹寺走一趟。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GzogmTOpE
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNN9SqgbQ7
寺前，我倆不約而同抬頭望向匾額。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqjMnUmoRw
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYvKZMwFMU
「你知道『竹寺』何以得名嗎？」住持問。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Bh3jSLPkD
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJ6vtuZzQ4
「等？」我的猜想有如初來之時。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpmKZF3DXk
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSkKkvKW6L
「這名字只不過是客觀描述寺廟本身。」住持揚手指向全竹結構的寺廟：「大家實在想多了，對自己的想像投放情感，賦予它過多的意義，致使看不見眼前真象。」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpd0YbEpmOb
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezC9W4EWAm
我驀地憶起大叔前夜的說話。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBmv8eruDA
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMR4JW1cxNB
住持直接走往花園。不出他所料，小樹已被連根拔起，樹下土地被挖出一個大坑，足以容納一個成人。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatuVhcFnHJ
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLjvdZCQod
我心頭一涼，頓時明白那是甚麼一回事：多年以來，情夫的屍首一直埋在這裡。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUP2zzxOHY
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRPH7uM3YN
我鼻頭一酸，淚如雨下。558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMcCUDkJhY
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmGlaEd71T
「『強逼自己放下執著』也是一種執著。」558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGhj5Uklhy
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbe0hZka0t
住持淡然望天，開始為一切生者亡者誦經。
