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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AwcIlgXYA
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnxWcArs2Y
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2IILLnOEe
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOOwVJfDCS
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcgJLfMAKQ
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtQgs10x4g
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpdbt8RlTw
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwuGAFKYWR
壓力似乎一併消散。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xznMIe8O5
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrC2GeP3IP
茶盡。我再續杯。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1n7V9g0fz
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQtz9sGbq2
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsOxouYvSH
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZCtnQ16OF
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVFpqbNOet
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrrvC2Yzrp
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbHJPmZjPD
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3ruXZLGJb
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8IP075vQE
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6GnZaRdmG
夢醒一場空。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6g3tKM4G89
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jBlyMIKbQ
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCa9rIi2qk
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshbMHJxPQ3
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwNb5IzvtX
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8z1HWa4iFp
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1fSUGGlQm
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡym59yPwuxc
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEyDfPG7wY
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9kwooNHHM
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgGzzQCrXh
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnFMgPUltz
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JFOR1aZCD
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcm5Ki1tpRt
我沾沾自喜。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5p7VFOvdYc
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KRyS3fsjQ
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡel221KUmLj
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHP6O3nWAYU
但我沒有向同學們坦白。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sv6SR31ko
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewhkLeQDkI
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1Io6FMNUg
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwk7SSXSrY
努力，努力，努力。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8y9LMrFFnm
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoS33qGtt10
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCwvdWu8ud
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCpJixsaby
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1V9HUyyE8j
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvsZynnILq
以為。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlunNnOPI8
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHU2MR9nHGp
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYfP8WxtW1
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfljEJ4vVh
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWR9yb1Wfe
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitoMXyQzgi
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wiEwWyYSM
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHrLYFqPKN
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5s3PZFVeFV
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcSlUunCzB
我的作品感動了我。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYzFvxzpjj
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxyLBwGExA
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeOeVVLJjt
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFIbrY5ALR
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNa874HgQ3H
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87eC5aOYbs
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52fa1HQiYn
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Nyu0rld9d
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMspE4jQ56
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYR3bKNz8Xo
熱茶又涼了。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0GDjLb0eS
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziitfRQm9I
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoDbYJxofi
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNW6kjB9Kt
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStIFifmGJD
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBEm4dYiqm
我的作品只感動了我。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHUvyy7k8G
458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XqpW7cNYX
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。458Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExlg2yb9fZ
