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午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgn0lQwMhz
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmGXLviABb
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiq8z9hUC8
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYgvf95GRD
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2S3sbY05j
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCGygYrkZl
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRsq6G6Rx9
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcoU1BjzyG
為何記住？我解釋不了。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VgX1MEqNW
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJw1FSseV0
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoBapcgjLR
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1exPxre2Yg
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvqqlrvFZD
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Vb3CgSNMv
其中一個是他。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sdtgH6pys
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOteOL1rU2N
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjgkOzVUp6
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUNvX0xf6v
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bBmyuMT20
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AjZ5GZBc6
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGpsjZ5NkU
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLV7LVdTmi
「你遺下銀包。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUPSn82G3E
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6l3SK5UM3
「謝謝。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZBxU1d9LR
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAij1OzPTdi
「不用客氣……」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Qs9BFufjX
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUAMZOGeqs
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLdnPTAnyN
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfB8xDiJJbT
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2q7lXuSqL
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVXD7yEezs
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9iI4sVwLQ
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIybWyyLQM
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUafWFzG26W
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQlIWafASq
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqU1pa9m4L
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rKHqU1NBV
「我是文班許家偉。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCE1MVN1kv
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9J6KPE5CT
「我是理班李浩榮。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacx7BBitTA
其實我早已知道許家偉。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dGh8bUgY3
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQszaWEnUe
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZuGQjzWOi
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXRBSFHllN
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwD6cv1wxK
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47SrYwrkvp
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMk6xvdUqYe
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XI7r1Thju
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCXS91C8ZV
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9e8xAi8gb
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkHIO11g7V
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Sy7xNx5hX
不服氣。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIG1XAbof3
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoXMKGfbHZ
繼續觀察他。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNKuyIE1oN
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LWOP4UH13
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1ubn49wS2
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6m9fycFTI
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5fMWFIUxl
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxnpqq6wgw
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIisMIKdOY
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fY0cvDcQM
我急步追趕許家偉。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuslPme4FDY
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYjveAnArw
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimUrDSJbsj
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqZTg4giN2
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3b9OwHW4c
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlUmQW3t49
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡos5xcZK51b
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mezgQ0nxf
「你遺下了銀包。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcbmoWdmZp
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9KDXASnig
「謝謝。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmJON2RI0I
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0vlDguyAj
「不用客氣……」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxo3f8YHRLt
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNhXgQjEt9
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JIvlDZ37S
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rhQhMBJxJ
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorlSAh2A71
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMDYdtmWo4
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjojltb4cLX
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHYaecPZ2L
我望入他雙眼。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyCgO6ONxw
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tKisZxm4W
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwpOSldRwH
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfztZp63sE
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMSbCV3Ri1
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoOHzpKzs8
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1e8bWMHAQJ
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtnFccqEIz
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg59fREz9it
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgv6HCTFCV9
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZpFcW2Nvh
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA82AQFR9tB
「我是文班許家偉。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEumLLtfJyv
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIw0WG6xq7X
「我是理班李浩榮。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CeDawkTt5
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFecuCwlC6D
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gf9MoGj2w
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZTopXqGyX
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoanCayEHDJ
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMg4re1kwXk
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUANNLrhGg
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4nBadZfUR
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbKUkuPMOI
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkO9FqNHOw
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZJQKc4Apa
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbHvWiNNNY
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQcLsx77D8
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6h1YLkmgPZ
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYn9hXkfAsm
但我沒有阻止他。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gbQaYGmhz
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAMN0x8NGC
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtaEKb3JXH
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ082MoK4rn0
我慫恿他繼續說下去。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33egVGHb7t
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjtgWAIwYV
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbORYZiMV6J
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Hd1u5h53z
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOdkwKMc9c
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevUP97iFR7
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37Iu7aav6l
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWPoVmKDEC
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFe04NwuwTC
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmQzYwbCfS
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjgbdjQvKW
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9WHLij7mi
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Gg2xoabjS
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtZHDq9A1j
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lyIOmfnrj
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaz2UmsDkTB
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKc5TOlQG4
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuAwas1hcU
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GMaqrI9hh
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkthrzsrO5f
但我掛念他。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mKhlLi4xL
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPz9sXvSKic
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWL0r8HTsy
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQArqWC8bT
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0y2rFti90M
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzfKeP3q3F
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7H7cvcP2X3
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCEMLEYpYO
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8JppCn6Zg
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBlzys9zQT
不要說。不要聽。不要見。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJBsCafjjl
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaas9YtkCeO
希望時間會沖淡一切。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUBV7UImrI
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0Utt4cAEY
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ykXUo6EKg
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmt5F5NPXh
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFi5VPZu8wD
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcleIWMrIx
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcpln2DnJC
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBRyPDwggl
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TvYZoy675
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBeRSMWdH5
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTyFtX770Q
「我也不明白。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tG8YShGUN
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJYmTIGqTW
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjz5lliTJi4
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBJqiTJE4J
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzM2DlhBur
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVutP172ZsL
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81M1HODoYZ
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sUMDCmNHQ
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZV5XG9ECt
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDYThr6HRV
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gdJOPJiUU
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gZ8kfQKN8
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5EIWDGGHu
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡer3WW4MhMN
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONE7xH9uS6
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7iaZak4pl
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5iRCvz2id
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2gJBt7PKP
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMwLPBxTGC
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdQFyFsjqy
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGsC05CYld
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETI7Ivjd9L
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhws8P72CRm
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2RuSpJkHf
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CxR7WEnGj
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzWrbXmT3m
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWBfZt4ACn
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDvACQ5A1H
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptuibUW61s
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIpgbfpyW7
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzyoDYTmNP
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCbADVP4SL
為何要走到這一步？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NTVhR2dTx
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzqEnCBvL4
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRGBaFzCWl
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJsAHRnDHI
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZ2AkQLFD2
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWEQxlXe9S
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfn8HkmhMk
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzXFm284o5
「別倔強。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruBmfC3YP8
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPophxPwgqD
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkIigKJZVD
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ft6saJuI1
「我想你放棄。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUezCWwS9GA
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oyiZ35bpa
「原因？」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXScme4ONUr
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzfcLycGwp
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWgkPiaHAv
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHFsm6LGU3
「我知道。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ832SCfs4dq
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJIhDdcR8M
「何解還要繼續下去？」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPACSRep6aN
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQQErynOjN
「感情易放難收。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjj1xzvLd0k
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeywGufx4L8
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsFtkCstfO
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8gp94mG6P
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwZghP58WB
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQSLbevGYF
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00WHVizRNS
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAEgRNULOw
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLX8SyjSKBR
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0oj3ABypp
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXbMdT67CU
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDGZYDBhza
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBtWwwSyIF
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu29QuMzEp
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDvyqgP6EG
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNEP8Hhd4U
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCaiMacWZS
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6jPSu0qnP
小醉。半醉。大醉。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHTKLDcTdk
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6mdsNZ6do
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGovS7yPcLT
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IhL2129QS
「直接講我愛他。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yAkWbFqTg
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLovCkogkA
「如果他拒絕？」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡART4O0Q4iB
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4tvyif3n1
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj31IjJ3ACj
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9sPPYy4G0
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqkVjSXXiW
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhOUAMVYia
「我當然是高興！」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZcQ2M0p3C
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbz4JLoFJu
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRdmTMH7B1
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3lDMfrmiI
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSczGSHCtB
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68Dd7AwZ7J
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsB64gZgKJt
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUkcU0Wl88
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6McWaoB54
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSSRA2smEE
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1s0UHle818
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv68h2Lzv9M
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsQG2k3RY2
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkeXr4uHhw
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWVC7dj6Ul
「你仍然單身？」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlzzQbKLjC
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEDCj2AntB
「是的。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MYa5jLmNz
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nlT4TdPF9
「要我當媒嗎？」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhnvha3oKC
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ru7fY4ZUe
「不了。難為情。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFEAmvxUpO
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrVMtsvXSU
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aKmA5zWsF
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcrXlkw6iO
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAhfYZCcf1
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5Zundq6fu
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPDUcp6znB
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRE5Odvmpb
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTk8TTdLEj
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkyv69sUnv
回家吧。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoB2EA2g2r
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdIKZ9NM7n
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2hzXmQrbs
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwd5so3Ee1G
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNY7SdPaji
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mmpB37Gzc
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0SnFIK2iP
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IhfiOORuy
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuXMTkhVSq
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadm0LOq1XS
大概是一見鍾情吧。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVYBIBVsJG
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbAH86yPtr
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxEomCRyQA
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgOzXRc9iQ
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDP3kaqBIB
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbk1qmBLgce
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNU10x5RvFI
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZWqYlixwf
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ65zjwvPTo
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbH1akbFja
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhH04UxQPYf
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGYhVeFDYW
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWJPubOaQt
百感交集……493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8es9jz0Bm
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xytIR6U1V
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeURWuB7bu
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFPyJREafy
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShAM0Dt3gR
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2s9EN32fB1
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRLcp3nSlj
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf765UwUE6z
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mj7RMhBbz
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYmleJCpzK
「認得。你是文班的。」493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wYZztQqls
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr71kSsnZ0y
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMlUB1CMiF
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaLhFoPgfa
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IZEWe7uXc
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMd8ysjSNF6
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8knTrSTbr
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMC8lNHDlUQ
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFytwv063ax
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zOwh99Zd1
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFd9ORTwf3W
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdSF8K3qFg
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvy7jIQBdo9
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTL7MZAyUE
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyKqOQjzn1
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzTq1hPW25
我哭笑不得。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsQmKqtkso
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBdeVTwux1
無意跟他繼續對話。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IcEH2fZbt
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvzIrFrwjf
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ2gxvFlUn
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmP7y7nFhlD
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
