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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lr9b36KWw
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzYHlX3eNQ
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLtajlvSFS
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJiYyLHQGr
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4PBOpKvlZ
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4i9PhUGLj
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnj6gdwL6Hm
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWZDs1TPfE
壓力似乎一併消散。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRP5zyZi3uG
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwrWB8tOif
茶盡。我再續杯。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxdFgW7s5w
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBHNibKj2J
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqqYN34l1g
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnRUYGmvxQ
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYuagl5ZwV
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrRRlv2L1t
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHY9YLg3ahU
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9oXL2cQRe
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDrI57NePq
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBE0lmG3Ctr
夢醒一場空。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXFpGhQ8pN
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkkQvdDcsc
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDH2r2xDIbs
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cr56W4jNz
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hULbMRiAT
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ946ccJk3dE
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ISuutyHRk
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsSUTvUCiq
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhz0am5MHl
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMNwR3tL2R
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNNbR7VmZ9
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzTTDloXXL
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3zS24z2Ga
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9weA4i93HA
我沾沾自喜。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnnZBEIRnm
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJ41E403X6
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiCQus5vDq
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EbdS4IvIO
但我沒有向同學們坦白。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dRj7vPfnn
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9uVvdT8SV
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EslIC3UQL
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLb5CmYRRg
努力，努力，努力。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyN39dbnip
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSUxCaVk34
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYqkSIUlob
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ265O2nVLjM
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UXzId9Slc
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYspxXf3rU
以為。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDx1K2Uv1tr
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJbUm4xyU4
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKLjzZbrfZ
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibR7SVJI9t
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAQ74sFn3L
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx8IVXMWwC
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4S86favJo
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDq1DutQ50r
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpVegTKMer
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ALtw4vNzx
我的作品感動了我。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDLigT8MwC
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ibx5O476u
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1Z9BI84OY
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1f2dRimq6y
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTJJKVnOwg
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNACMeuEKPD
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKbkV4roX1
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabEzBZXgt5
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURrrbiQRaK
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3OuDXbxxA
熱茶又涼了。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbI9F8KKWS
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQV871Mc4bT
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3n1qSS1YX
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVH9wBQ9dm
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjmMBze2rX
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpkimNriYM
我的作品只感動了我。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmPCmNJLH1
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUO3qlQ5e1i
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgreC51ZDA
