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根據居民的指示，我沿著竹林小徑走了一整天，終於到達目的地：一間全竹結構的寺廟。它比我預想中更為破落，冷冷清清的。我抬頭望向高高懸掛在山門的匾額，寫著「竹寺」。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIYFOqK1KB
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutSwdiRIXD
蠻有意思的名字。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghQ17yUUsM
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSEI4M9EYX
當我正要邁步內進時，一個打扮樸素的瘦削大叔剛好開門踏出。四目交投，雙方都愣住了幾秒。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5Zpf0J7Cw
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWcUxT8CaD
「歡迎內進。」沒等我回答，大叔已轉身為我引路。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYMfpOnEcp
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDk6kb5RcD
眼見天色漸暗，我不再磨蹭，看能否找到綫索，省卻逗留此地的時間：「不好意思喔，大叔！請問黃XX女士住在這裡嗎？」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAA9u0vPVBu
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJC9160fdU
大叔的腳步突兀地戛然而止。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruHdbnolsK
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfuiYmk7qc
是我的提問過於唐突嗎？569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QIsG0Cbvc
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduRIewwOCY
大叔回頭仔細打量我，神色疑惑，似乎在猜測我和黃女士的關係。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9px9wKVI2H
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmfll9dLQ4
「有人託我將信件親手轉交予黃女士。」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJ0kWg6UVN
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WY7MC7S1d
「黃女士已離開這裡好一段時間，不知何時會回來……甚或是不知會否回來。」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPF2JbxLjl
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQX0aKuB7p6
「她有透露去處嗎？」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7KQ7ssPlN
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXrUdHT1X4
「沒有……我帶你去她昔日的房間試找綫索。」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbS0yoiPJcw
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARkxBnz5u1
大叔再次邁步，步履沒有之前的輕，重若銀鉛。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJcyxohD8x
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1Iux57nKH
陰冷的空氣，空洞的房間，慘白的牆身，最基本的傢俬和雜物。沒有生活的氣息。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cLsReRPug
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6E6hDsK0ZC
「剛才在門外碰見你，也還真令我驚訝。」大叔沒有進入房間，逕自在門外呢呢喃喃。「竹寺曾香火鼎盛。後來毗鄰的兩個小鎮分別新建更大更金碧輝煌的寺廟，無意間將信眾分流開去，到來竹寺掛單的僧侶亦逐漸減少，住持最終徇眾要求到另一寺廟主持大局。他指派我長駐於此，打掃清潔，說要方便途經的旅客。我一直覺得他想多了，豈料今天就遇見你。」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmjypdILtq
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JS85Ebwxx
「可能佛祖不想我白走一趟。」我話中有話，提醒侍奉佛祖的大叔不要忘記佛祖的存在，萬萬不能撒謊。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPqnVEz7DE
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkD1r9cp0Ey
「我可以明天帶你見住持。他有掛單紀錄，可能有黃女士的聯絡資料。」大叔也不是省油的燈，簡單幾句就將我逼至沒有退路的位置：「但我希望你能先對我坦白事情的前因後果。住持是個大忙人。我可不希望為他增添不必要的麻煩。」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBFKX1J9BJ
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeTISpaGxd
我只得坦白交代。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBRh3I7yiy
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCpYOPISTP
我的妻子過身了。臨終前，她希望我能預留一年時間為她完成唯一的遺願：親手將遺書交予離家出走多年的生母——黃女士。事隔多年，黃女士曾在多個地方落腳。我每次根據綫索趕至時，她早已遷居。輾轉間，我追尋至竹寺……569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuFDEdQRHl
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0yC4rtr5s
「距離一年限期，還剩多少日子？」大叔生起關切之情。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXUVHf42Y2
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GmJubyAE0
「三日。竹寺很可能是我的最後機會。」我加倍留意他的神色舉止。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWvy516mTB
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDj5dakKlV5
「不考慮延長？」大叔表現出來的的關切絕對超過一個陌生人該有的限度。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUUKJDUTS8
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBf9gPsobj
「妻子信緣份。她認為努力過後仍沒能找到，證明彼此有緣無份，毋須強求。她還叮囑我要燒毀遺書。」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCmzsTaKh8
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoCUwGuAWS
大叔若有所思後，講出驚人的一句：「若果一年期限屆滿時仍找不到黃女士，介意給我看看遺書嗎？」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhuI1Sx1nA
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJ3bbTXVdf
「極度介意！」我心裡認定大叔有事隱瞞。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEWIxFMaCR
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhS8rvQXG3n
尷尬氣氛令大叔不再多話。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQStvSyMB8
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopX4hzx4Ht
晚餐後，大叔在其他地方忙著，我則留在房間對著愛妻的照片痛哭一場。哭過以後，壓力得以紓緩，但心頭卻未能添加半分澄明，混沌混濁。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2bg9s7knG
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVg9vL3s81
我離房在寺內溜達散心。逛著逛著，忽爾看見大叔彎腰對著花園中的小樹喁喁細語，臉上盡是蜜甜。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3igqSvQeb
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YwWsUTsNf
我上前跟大叔打招呼。他微笑回應，和顏悅色，渾身散發著慈祥氣息，沒有白天時的隔膜。我嘗試放下戒心，開心見誠與他聊天。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNc7ReY3kP
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEjfRPjKYQ
不知怎地，聊著聊著，話題竟牽到大叔的心事去。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINzQVnGDWL
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnQaJLvduZ
「貪，使人執著於一切順情之境。嗔，使人執著於一切違情之境。痴，使人不明白真理，致使生起貪嗔。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVF3urUoZhJ
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz999HjEtX5
我痴愚半生，痛苦不已。到此地求法，希望住持指點迷津。但他認為我凡心未盡，要我留在這裡靜思。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqtMtJRjk6
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjB6cShcImv
我在竹寺侍奉多年，住持依然不為所動。我以為他在敷衍我。今天遇到你，我才明白住持所言非虛：任何無關的人事物都可輕易勾起我對逝去伴侶的思念。」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetI5w1stKV
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAGlFjWLEU
我終於明白初時大叔何以對我不太友善。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6wfayPWNU
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9TQpc1rjX
將心比心。喪妻之後，任何人事物均能勾起我和對太太的思念。我曾抱怨上天幸災樂禍，何解不讓我安靜避世。我已盡力放下身邊一切，辭掉工作，不聯絡親友，遷出愛巢，但偏偏愛妻的遺願就是要我去彌補她的畢生遺憾！我沒有一刻能放下她，因為我的分分秒秒就是為她而過。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbVTHdRoH5
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLtgnnHCDs
那種痛苦實非筆墨所能形容。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFir8V7AlT
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3p8yBDD9pX
「你的妻子真聰明，給你的痛苦設下一年期限。只要你在這一年裡拼命為她圓願，往後也就了無遺憾或悔疚。我可沒那麼幸運，不知要拖著這副臭皮囊乾等到哪年哪月哪日……」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfigvd3gx1
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTv2TDePBW
說罷，他跟我和小樹說晚安，然後揚長而去。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcwATHgAHZ
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohAoUQPJ1j
翌日，我翻遍整間竹寺亦找不到大叔，只在他的房間找到他留給我的手繪地圖。我跟著地圖的指示走了大半天，來到住持現處的寺廟。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMPXlGCwm1
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqXpuLDVnA
住持聽罷我的經歷後，不禁黯然慨嘆：「黃女士始終凡心未盡……」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdhPDkxhXj
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CmOOvxSdL
黃女士當年拋夫棄女，與情夫私奔。豈料甜蜜日子不長久，情夫患急病逝世。黃女士大受打擊，認為是自己作孽甚深，連累情夫。她來到竹寺，望住持能指點迷津。住持認為她深陷激動情緒當中，容易作出錯誤選擇，逐要她在竹寺靜思己過。可惜她半夜逃離。當黃女士重臨竹寺時，她已花光積蓄在黑市做手術整容及變性，以情夫的外表現身……569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmw2WKAQdj1
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BA2kXCspp
「大叔就是黃女士？」我不禁驚呼。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEepFUC0GZ3
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTxqqnqVHt
震驚之情瞬間即逝，取而代之的是說不出的矛盾。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWmYrJMsZ5
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0k4wbKd7Xc
這個人，我恨不來，亦原諒不了。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbm8fvXCOHI
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9c4F4M5iek
翌日，我和住持往竹寺走一趟。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPkkWyrIzG
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYo42tUdGA
寺前，我倆不約而同抬頭望向匾額。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQW3eKZ3dnL
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2hB12fFzk
「你知道『竹寺』何以得名嗎？」住持問。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiswotvCgvF
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXO3wjiOrvA
「等？」我的猜想有如初來之時。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuI6zoHmuOd
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1Rc8mM0J8
「這名字只不過是客觀描述寺廟本身。」住持揚手指向全竹結構的寺廟：「大家實在想多了，對自己的想像投放情感，賦予它過多的意義，致使看不見眼前真象。」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2YH0zu4Jw
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsSFUrQYwT
我驀地憶起大叔前夜的說話。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gyAQrn5cf
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZAthsWu8f
住持直接走往花園。不出他所料，小樹已被連根拔起，樹下土地被挖出一個大坑，足以容納一個成人。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YS83HhUqA
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqqHy6GjHs
我心頭一涼，頓時明白那是甚麼一回事：多年以來，情夫的屍首一直埋在這裡。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3i1XVAeAB
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkBubggFo7
我鼻頭一酸，淚如雨下。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEtDT3OtEh
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Va9XbABHq
「『強逼自己放下執著』也是一種執著。」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXTBqtIARj
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHoGbG7xt7
住持淡然望天，開始為一切生者亡者誦經。
