
三年前,我莫名其妙地多了一個外號:食屎仔。575Please respect copyright.PENANAaCnspL3FgD
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我起初以為是剛鬧翻的同學的惡作劇,於是不予理會。惟經過一段日子後,情況竟越發惡劣,各種流言蜚語傳遍全校。我憤極找對方晦氣,豈料發現他並非生事者。我轉而向老師求救,奈何收效甚微。自此,我正式成為全校學生的欺凌對象。除了不堪入耳的說話,單打圍毆也是少不免的。575Please respect copyright.PENANAfGPtU2Rkvz
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我採用消極的方法應對,逃跑、曠課、甚或是以金錢換取片刻安寧。但久而久之,我成了驚弓之鳥,即使獨處亦心緒不寧,逐漸萌生自殺念頭。我每天有如行屍走肉,對未來失去希望:說不定,我在畢業前已自殺或被打死。575Please respect copyright.PENANARtfymycrkJ
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某個風和日麗的上午,我被四個男同學拖至男廁虐打。我倦縮一隅,雙手護著後腦勺,抿嘴啞忍。他們以最歡快的語調講出最惡毒的說話,直至那一句——575Please respect copyright.PENANAMetxyRmqyt
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「犬子無虎父!」575Please respect copyright.PENANAPhCDY9NXbJ
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我的情緒瞬間達至沸點,雙臂一振,用力一推,兩個男生飛跌倒地。眾人驚呆,沒料到我會反抗。趁他們還未及反應過來,我迅即擸起不遠處的地拖反擊……舊傷疤還未癒合,新傷口就已遍佈全身。575Please respect copyright.PENANAxTgEcDmxmv
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「為何不把心思好好花在學業上,偏要四處惹事生非?」年過半百的老爸是典型的傳統家長,堅信唸好課本才有出頭天。575Please respect copyright.PENANAGMWD4Sxacu
575Please respect copyright.PENANAmV6SuM4EVe
「我才沒有四處惹事生非!那是同學之間的小吵小罵而已!」我從沒告訴老爸有關這三年的慘況。老爸學歷不高,找不到文職工作,多年來都是當清潔工。他辛勤工作、省吃省用才勉強足夠給我供書教學。我實在不想給他添煩。575Please respect copyright.PENANAF979eY1xig
575Please respect copyright.PENANAX687U4F8yI
「總之,要好好唸書,長大以後才可找到舒適的工作。」老爸深諳世道艱難,不願我重蹈覆轍。575Please respect copyright.PENANAmbwEbrzLEk
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「知道。」我用力點頭,勉力擠出陽光笑容。575Please respect copyright.PENANADf0fyiPDdE
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又一個平平無奇的上學天。由校門到儲物櫃的短短五分鐘路程,已有三十多人帶笑關心我今天吃了屎當早餐沒。對於這類只敢口頭調侃的人,我通常不予理會。而那些暗暗在旁觀察我的傢伙才是真正需要被留意的:他們都是敢於動粗的人。575Please respect copyright.PENANAFjRXDvZCA6
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但,算了吧。反正注定躲不了。575Please respect copyright.PENANAAjsOCDy5Y3
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打開儲物櫃,我驚呆:今天竟然無屎!(平日大家會透過隙縫噴屎水到我的儲物櫃內,所以我會用膠袋將所有櫃內物件包起來。)575Please respect copyright.PENANAKnoXYCZoDA
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而更神奇的是,櫃內有一封匿名信。575Please respect copyright.PENANANx9hS1ttyJ
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「我可以告訴你有關『食屎仔』一名的由來。今晚七時,校門外等。」575Please respect copyright.PENANAjvpVWE52NZ
575Please respect copyright.PENANALi9j7rUiAz
晚上六時許,老爸吃晚餐後也就出門上班去。我匆匆洗碗後,亦馬上更衣離家赴約。校門前,有一高大身影依時出現。我真不敢相信自己雙眼。對方竟是平日欺負得我最慘的傢伙:高年級的男學長——曌少。575Please respect copyright.PENANAUraV4fa3uw
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我本能立即轉身逃跑。575Please respect copyright.PENANAiMzM5fld1I
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「你不想洗脫污名嗎?」曌少沒有追趕,僅以雄渾響亮的聲音道。575Please respect copyright.PENANAIMPnYlhXvY
575Please respect copyright.PENANApGyY9aKBby
我不期然停下腳步,不敢置信地回頭。575Please respect copyright.PENANAIlJk3q445i
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「跟我來。」表情木然的他沒有瞥我一眼,自顧自開步走。575Please respect copyright.PENANAE932L1f2yz
575Please respect copyright.PENANADyXkNHRUAA
的確,他沒需要理會我的反應,因為一切皆在他意料之內:我乖乖垂頭尾隨他,去到某地下賭場的入口。575Please respect copyright.PENANAWFfLuqrLn7
575Please respect copyright.PENANAXnSVZW6amO
冷峻的門前守衛甫看見曌少,馬上換一副嘴臉,前呼後擁。曌少保持高傲,不大理會他們。我佇立門外,不敢踏入賭場門口:那很可能是陷阱。575Please respect copyright.PENANAt9J0H8lMND
575Please respect copyright.PENANAkvK4hLsAi5
曌少顯然知道我在顧慮甚麼。他的表情仍然木訥,語調依舊硬倔,但離開唇邊的話卻變成正面的鼓勵說話:「你在男廁的反擊很漂亮。那股狠勁充滿爆發力,將來必定大有作為。」575Please respect copyright.PENANAQcHRuth06K
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我茫然。他當日不是被我打得頭破血流嗎?而且我最終是被他們反擊圍毆至半死。575Please respect copyright.PENANAHFY6ot62Bq
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「這是你洗脫污名的唯一機會。」他沒多解釋,試圖以堅定的眼神說服我:「信我!」575Please respect copyright.PENANAAaS5BCrFAD
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心頭一顫,我被他的眼神震懾著,昔日的仇恨霎時間灰飛煙滅。575Please respect copyright.PENANA5dlpOQUmIU
575Please respect copyright.PENANAHxMtw3BshQ
曌少走在前面引路,一邊高調跟熟稔的賭客打招呼,一邊輕聲給我介紹賭場的運作模式。除了各式各樣的賭具和賭局外,賭場還會提供特別的娛樂……他突然停下腳步,指向身邊的一幅布簾,示意我千萬不要發出任何聲音,只能從隙縫間偷偷瞥望。575Please respect copyright.PENANACqtX3OaZEK
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老爸……正在……食屎!笑容可掬的同時面容扭曲,眼帶諂媚之意得來隱滲絕望。575Please respect copyright.PENANAJJOSmbL7yg
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羞憤交加,我把曌少的話拋諸腦後,欲衝前阻止老爸。曌少及時掩著我的嘴巴,以強大的武力將我拖拉至賭場的後巷。他狠狠連摑我三記耳光,摑得我天旋地轉,失去還擊之力。冷靜下來後,我的心情跌至谷底,沒理會曌少的勸說,跌跌撞撞歸家去。575Please respect copyright.PENANAS4F1gV1po6
575Please respect copyright.PENANAC29fdwffZ7
深夜,輾轉難眠。直至聽到老爸躡手躡腳在房門外經過的聲音,我才含淚進入夢鄉。夢裡,老爸日日夜夜帶笑食屎,排出無數惡臭的鈔票,鈔票以排山倒海之勢撲向我。鈔票甫觸及我的身體,頃刻溶化成屎水,湧向儲物櫃內的書簿文具……夢醒,我不得不承認殘酷的真相:老爸是為養育我而受盡屈辱。575Please respect copyright.PENANA6k51HdACa2
575Please respect copyright.PENANAq1uqT0bnlD
從睡房門隙偷望熟睡的老爸後,我如常上學去。曌少在校門等我,主動給我遞菸。我沒有理睬他。他沒趣地把菸叼在唇間,點燃,吞雲吐霧。575Please respect copyright.PENANA54b6wrIGyK
575Please respect copyright.PENANAM6FfYiug0R
「你爸三年前開始在賭場工作,專門負責表演食屎。我調查過,該是某同學的父母曾光顧賭場,認出你爸,然後……」575Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZSNECYq0W
575Please respect copyright.PENANAizqLffFpvr
「然後我就成為名副其實的『食屎仔』。」我苦笑自嘲:「為何要告訴我?想我們父子合作演出?」575Please respect copyright.PENANAWTKtJAiGwz
575Please respect copyright.PENANAMlr7gcqUX6
「我想向賭場老闆推薦你擔綱新推出的娛樂項目,取代現在的『食屎』表演。」他沒有表現出絲毫憐憫及同情。575Please respect copyright.PENANAEG4kC3bNlD
575Please respect copyright.PENANAt0cNrPr2zb
「表演飲尿嗎?」我繼續嬉皮笑臉。575Please respect copyright.PENANAGOzyFzykqf
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「我想你接受訓練,成為賭場其中一個的拳擊手。」他認真地向我講解他的構思。「賭場派出拳擊手與同級的客人在擂台對戰,暗中依照老闆的指令勝出或敗北。」575Please respect copyright.PENANATq1sFgqqh8
575Please respect copyright.PENANApMPpRfJ47K
「謝了。我沒興趣弄虛作假。」我不想與地下賭場有任何瓜葛,暗中盤算如何勸說老爸辭工。575Please respect copyright.PENANA5m6cMGHrC1
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「沒有新的娛樂項目,賭場就不會放棄現有的表演,會威逼利誘你爸繼續食……」他驀地發現我神色有異,沒有講下去。575Please respect copyright.PENANAhRYU6CqWc2
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「算了吧。」我心如死灰,罪疚感和絕望已然壓垮我。575Please respect copyright.PENANAV6BPILeExV
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「食屎仔!你甘心整輩子當食屎仔嗎?」他的情緒竟一下子爆發,表現得比我更激動,眾目睽睽下撕扯我的校服。「枉你爸含辛茹苦養大你!你有何顏面繼續花他賺來的錢、吃他買的米、穿他買的校服?」575Please respect copyright.PENANA6EmVCLgfBy
575Please respect copyright.PENANAL9tqxFrp7x
我拼命掙扎。糾纏間,我扯爛了他的校服,看見他身上的陳年傷痕。我住手了,他猙獰的面目亦放鬆下來。575Please respect copyright.PENANAFcBxQNBEd8
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「食屎仔……我就是上一代的食屎仔……」曌少整個人軟癱下來,表情複雜,有悲有恨有喜有狠勁。575Please respect copyright.PENANAmYB3LvHQaZ
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我頓時明白了他的苦心。575Please respect copyright.PENANAbt17ch0Brv
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「我答應你,我定會成為最後一個的食屎仔!」