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午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3T7jofgmn
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhPBZyzNxD
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62NSUnjJxv
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMCPNVDJqh
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1DVOQz79g
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlWxO0PkrR
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5vLR0p8yv
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Z6OI6t9eB
為何記住？我解釋不了。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssymKid0q9
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATMsyUP1ZB
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnHPkU3lM3
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlKffMOD0S
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OtiFFTbCD
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTirnaxzu3
其中一個是他。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tW75EjJ7B
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNZfrvrL2W
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2Gxq92Khm
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsbW4ek4dd
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHNyQThq3f
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BJJF8t9tX
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkeJZDQiwy
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIVXrVrCKW
「你遺下銀包。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IHLMNpAu8
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMJXvL6R8n
「謝謝。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFjTJY1Rq0
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7bm8t5qpd
「不用客氣……」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWa8wyuBl29
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnqqZRkust
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCWnlaXsVI
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yyTvb4n1P
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWpGmqeVOA
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iCb06CZ4s
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAPb84GhkY
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPF3dq73a0
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMVXoXPeD7
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFraChhf4s
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpVKKLqYwy
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfommyRwlU
「我是文班許家偉。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxHLRuCtnI
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhu9HI8ogkE
「我是理班李浩榮。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNOyM9BaFd
其實我早已知道許家偉。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnO9g3Odro
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzEWEo81pt
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIqvlCTs5Y
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPweI6GZpRe
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADRxsofAuI
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmg6Bo18BZ
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnrzJcjLRZ
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJepxTRkmxq
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0kODvcVAY
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1z3wicOSid
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlCyxuc0ld
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIM9zEmUVCs
不服氣。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxVTOXmIGd
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNpgGD07Cx
繼續觀察他。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziR2JLtDHM
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXKELC6Iqu
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrrTl3Qjxg
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaX0cz9MGrf
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlUnmHGYNj
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2MESGN4YH
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFY2J3PIgU9
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9nKnq95Cg
我急步追趕許家偉。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSUkMXQ3o6
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKH5Qvjd58
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RhL0EQwSR
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iIc2uesiK
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvH0F8GMDW
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfZGZaXyiO
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbP49sJEJPv
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4d3fbBD0h
「你遺下了銀包。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPmadyP5HM
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ho0um6lak
「謝謝。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8Mz85W5Du
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90bcnoJpdv
「不用客氣……」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ewM8flu1V
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBr0A8vOcHf
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxs0OFUZBAD
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcEuEi5WsR
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OKSpLe0wg
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLLOhQPgmz
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8n2gOEPHU
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrA1GgerIHX
我望入他雙眼。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKgjsffXHw
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwFe1CUiIN
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcDezJnPhT
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI155wEnKS2
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfefDYj8M2
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUu10h34r2x
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2qFQ7d6yO
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4i6hiqB2j5
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5W9iS94mj
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrbs5xolqo
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIQMF2ZLxJ
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlXWGT8uX5
「我是文班許家偉。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7QiomyJpz
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZ8rdxdCye
「我是理班李浩榮。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSDmQCfJ9A
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdohX0oCh7
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwML42PIOg
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpgdPhvnTW
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDupM5p8RnH
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGAHgUC10z
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRPycFCQn4
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24xgPNObvN
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPqhnPwyzU
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4TO9FO2LM
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZTBgPDuf9
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlJC6CCEcH
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhETpXKFmj
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cdGAerhdW
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7Uvq8gTxE
但我沒有阻止他。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKXDrlMxf0
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiq5J7ZwTtt
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMAecpLJZi
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJzflIFwF4
我慫恿他繼續說下去。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWF3edXXAdQ
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtekoyXYHvH
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63RlT8ZwVi
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEm5gG6HWP
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjpAnbKWAE
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLnsNMrRC3
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtehIfu7GVO
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ983NK0srNK
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL03eevST5p
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEwBiMIKFj
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaTtJeUrHM
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsj3jD6BRWi
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbkL6Y0Gqy
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtqsalRfgT
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP89o1HbmeP
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUD7zbxHjH5
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRO2TseMTyM
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYade9KR9iN
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjc3UwkBjh
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfrkde3kh1
但我掛念他。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AzNO03QFH
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQqgPFioFm
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwz88tEauB
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1vX1TrN8M
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyi7izBhwOV
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRdwVbA6Wc
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLCsNJuEhR
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83eP3mVCMj
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMiW1ezUWK
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVnLSvIWou
不要說。不要聽。不要見。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuYvgsE4LX
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCHgARWUPY
希望時間會沖淡一切。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5p8rwYyVO
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeSXmA69WS
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DW5oGNxiF
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY01BvTHBFo
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy8cUfA2pr
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5speXPHxi0
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPNJODeEXb
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDudy0i7RqL
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBznutqEydF
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtHlJvSXzV
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACJZOaLoMU
「我也不明白。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYG1wwFb9ls
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH34DSGHup7
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYv2c67WT5v
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgJ5N7Yn3v
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlumLMhY6oV
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmr1Rt35rr
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFKSStfqKN
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1lKyPjMSd
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32FXUzkgLt
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiBZmjRBBJ
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsyJ0zDWxq
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4bEkdDmWX
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVF24mwlMbG
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4SYDz449q
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtdq3jvcbH
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1FkYHwowj
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ypj015JUA
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VsKWyS3fW
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYW7PmL75n
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EQZfQVuM2
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDPvuHXKBf
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXewqmZPSt
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJea8cE1rTO
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EvTh2V7KA
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5c6O5zbQI
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqV5E4zsna
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmst4XL9pky
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnFPrYI8yT
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKx2gv5xwU
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4blMZYMmw
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJZ6IjeRoc
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfc9ftdDZ1m
為何要走到這一步？485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUo0FVmV6RE
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIAmQvtCNJ
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL35nfiM9uS
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDe5akexdc
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddV9B3sSiB
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebdEDKUncs
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7oBzugPOM
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaASsMnWzU
「別倔強。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67x2gCqxdH
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7hVqhm6kI
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0P5UULeOt
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcckUw92HVR
「我想你放棄。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0mFEDVvRv
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTV5oorNSIY
「原因？」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hvHxAjzMj
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FDd4O8wZW
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7tORCh8U0
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3MPhuivn0
「我知道。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eTVgnD324
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMNqrrH27B
「何解還要繼續下去？」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlCO0dRSLV
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3a9VQMNOtw
「感情易放難收。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSSn4AEfDt
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSDr0BMzAo
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zgeAyNPkl
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvLjDFrggv
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2gXMBPsLp
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiXpvhqOzl
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEXAVymPTU
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIEeDze2GT
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLi5EyyAX5
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWAB3dcwqZ
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5IFoxOY5p
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TNaorenyP
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriuxSzpESD
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq0NO5JNUb
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmWtCAyCJy
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ714RZ8hs9H
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFDpH9VdAh
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZXEtWppe4
小醉。半醉。大醉。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRYwKoDZcW
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVZ2spZM2S
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLHbe4qz74
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qWUQggo0Q
「直接講我愛他。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0oBDtQXAm
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQhf1llCmB
「如果他拒絕？」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqH7ERNpXn
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGnnRKIrKg
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNn5JtfSzs1
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSBmEcWRaF
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGsIZegynT
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH32NKPEuUh
「我當然是高興！」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJcs1os6BV
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77RthBX5ye
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6hgBhXDKv
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fDVpa68lC
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEEhNhXzHI
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOc8o144qvX
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6JMUzF4vO
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURdGvjUf8e
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rLLXH04v2
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gQCfw0jdb
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfjthIAAbn
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ795RhYmV1S
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZpPTGxdDS
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJh29EVyUW
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsOJGbYFbB
「你仍然單身？」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbhkS6If6W
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ5ZwPUuhd
「是的。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtdEq8i6Zn
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gCO9ds6SA
「要我當媒嗎？」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68Q1jKGh5g
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyzIO9L5sT
「不了。難為情。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMqdTt26id
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipI7LTxaku
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUstEkOKaF8
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtUd4XewW0
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIsKGmmpen
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScyvT3VJJy
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1DEkz3Sze
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeCVODjAOz
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCideLJqOgF
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteBXBSAJtt
回家吧。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9CQ6SHH8d
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIDTqbpK7p
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AXKmTAmAe
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoc2eUIqfGu
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHPqCs1s9n
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnI6W0UMTAg
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimprAYBlIi
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFh7W6BASc
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4VLp06ese
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1o03ESS645
大概是一見鍾情吧。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxE6F5xWXKK
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsi9PoTk24b
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Dnpu1ukUJ
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsSsW9sbet
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZ1SdjKcA7
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaib5kkI6HM
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IN0r8gDng
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxxqtzZANZ
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8YvyZr97h
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMdZmAWPcp
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DvabyX3FF
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Hj3FbFmJn
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUBGnTVW5N
百感交集……485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1bNi5xwFD
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGlrCV7IUs
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICcpxpLFqm
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeFP1Oj8V3
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDjtVjPnls
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu40STB6dPy
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueJYG5Fekg
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMWWlHv22e
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCnHCAegAz
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrfwdSmEbM
「認得。你是文班的。」485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QP4H8kPhI
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGv6bpVscX
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡln4ZyQQOMa
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrI3Ffj6KV
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIooAe6BBUf
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfM1sQE2KMf
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbKniyzUVv
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYeYp3ceF6
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdgebGxUqD
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHPENVy9VE
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZmsDceSTN
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOjA2K9NTq
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbr10qKKYR
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXzX5aWf8B
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlg7koa38ta
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkMBX0a6WO
我哭笑不得。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHeNgaTVYd
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jcSX1PVMO
無意跟他繼續對話。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2vmNAqkLa
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7QJIqo5A7
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZiGD2RRRN
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoNXLvrOnW
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
