Taylor's POV
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I'm pretty sure I've started something. I shouldn't have but I had to be honest with Jay. I have admitted to my lapse in judgement and now it’s time to atone.
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I glance at Jay who is seated next to me, head in his hands. Bag on the floor by his feet which he hasn't moved and I stroke his arm, he's wearing his pale blue shirt, leather jacket over the top that he finally removes.
I've decided that I'm going home tonight, it’s impossible to sleep in this chair and now that Matthew is awake and being moved from the intensive care unit, I’m sure that a good nights sleep will do everybody the world of good.
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I pinch my eyes closed and cry. Forgetting I'm in a room with everybody.
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"Taylor" Rach says concerned as she looks up at me from her phone.
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Matty is asleep and has been for a couple of hours. I've clock watched. Tracking his monitor and watching his chest rise and fall.
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"Let's have a walk" she adds standing up. Pulling on her jacket swishing her hair back and marching me to the door. She reacts instantly and I know from her tone that she cares. Ross eyes me curiously as I follow her slowly.
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"Taylor" Jay says, softly and I turn around.
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"I love you" he says and I hug him.
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"Love you too" I whisper in his ear.
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"We can get through this" he whispers back.
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"Mmhmm" I sob.
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"I wanna go home" I say and I feel like a little child, kind of pathetic and needy.
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"I'll go grab the car I just assumed, pjs and all that you would stay" he says softly and I cry.
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"Don't leave me here again." I say, he had been gone for a long time earlier. I began to worry that Jay had bolted. Never to return, ghost your soon to be wife who is up the duff because she kisses your mates.
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"Tay" Rach demands.
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"I brought the Land Rover" he smiles kissing my lips.
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"Okay" I say softly and I kiss him again.
He kisses me with urgency, my body feels like it's on fire and my tears melt away.
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I head out with Rachel and we walk down to the food court, deciding to buy some dinner for Matty and everybody else.
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I notice Rach now carries herself with far more elegance than before, she's still wearing a bright pink fluffy coat but now there's an air of confidence and sophistication in her stride. She sets her gaze on sushi and we head on over to the counter.
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"This is tough" she says looking down at her food, the takeaway in a separate bag.
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I grabbed a burger, raw fish is a no. She eyed me but there's more on her mind than my appetite.
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"Ross kissed me" I say just coming out with it.
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"You what" she laughs utterly shocked.
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“He was crying last night and hugging me. He kissed my neck and I full on kissed him" I say then I bite into my burger.
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She just stares at me, if she could have her mouth hanging open she would but we're eating.
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"You and Jay are endgame. I love Ross but you were sad, he was sad. Full stop, have you told Jay" she says.
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"Of course" I say.
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"Okay fuck" she replies looking worried at the prospect of leaving them alone in a hospital room together.
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"He said the same as you, but he's been acting weird" I say confused.
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"Jay Gilbert Scott just forgave you" she exclaims placing her fork down in shock.
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"He fucking loves you" she laughs.
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"I love him, I don't know why I did it, it's just it's my fault, with Matty. Plus I don't ever want Ross to..." I say and it's all garbled.
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"Matty is not your fault" she says watching me.
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"I told Matty I don't ever want him and then this happened. Ross found him" I say crying.
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"Matty had invited me to London, and I told him no" I add to give her a bit of context. She devours my gossip and I hide my shame.
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"You're with Jay of course you said no, he had no reason to suspect you would go, don't put this on yourself" she says.
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"Granted you shouldn't let Ross kiss you but hey it was emotional for both of you" she says. Stellar advice from Rach for once.
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"I feel awful" I admit.
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"I'm going home tonight. I need a bed" I say lightly, wanting to make this whole situation go away.
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"I'll keep an eye on Ross" she smiles.
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"Easy on the eye as he is I'm sure it won't be too hard" she laughs.
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"He's a great kisser" I laugh.
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"But Jay sends me places." I say laughing.
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"Jay loves you" she says.
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"I never thought I'd say it, because he's been an asshole since I met him. But now I can see it, he loves you" she says sincerely.
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"Thanks Rach" I say almost spilling all the secrets by telling her I'm having his baby.
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Promptly I stand and we head back up to the ward. Whilst we're walking through the hospital I hear the babies crying and I glance into the maternity ward.
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Rachel hurries along in her pink coat uninterested in me. Nate is on his way to pick her up and will be meeting us in the room. I consider asking Jay if he wants to start shopping for baby stuff, but perhaps it's just a touch too soon.
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Rach pokes her head around the door first and hands Matty the sushi he thanks her watching me all the while. I smile at him reassuringly.
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I hand Ross some sushi and take a seat. He glances up at me and thanks me. His puppy dog eyes looking me up and down. Assessing the situation he decides to just eat quietly.
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"Silly question, but how are you feeling" I ask Matty softly.
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"I'm surprisingly okay. Hoping they'll let me out tomorrow" he says.
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"It's not a rush, you need to be 100 percent" I comment softly.
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"I know" he says softly looking at me. Something about the look in his eyes pulls me in, and I'm standing up pacing over to him. Stroking his hair and checking he's okay.
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"Now enjoy your sushi, stop worrying" I smile down at him.
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I take a seat and check the clock, it's 5pm now. Just as I gaze down from the time the door opens and there's Jay. Slightly windswept and absolutely breathtaking. Still in his pale blue shirt but with the sleeves rolled up and his leather jacket in his hands now instead. His eyes lock onto me and I smile.
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He takes the seat next to me and I hand him some sushi.
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"Thanks" he smiles.
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"I had a burger" I say to him.
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He nods and I can tell he is yearning to caress my waist. We haven't told anybody, apart from Ross when I alluded to it and he guessed in the car.
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"Everything okay at the house" I ask softly.
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"Just fine. Don't worry. I've unpacked too" he says looking at me smiling.
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"Ah how is the new place" Rachel smiles pulling her coat off. Nate hasn't arrived just yet.
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Not wishing to brag around Matty in a hospital bed, I pull my phone out and show her a snap I took of myself and Jay in our new bedroom. Before we got naked of course.
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"Jeez" she sighs.
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I pocket my phone again and stare at Matty. He hasn't eaten much and is falling asleep again. I check the clock, the monitor and his levels.
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Glancing at Jay I realise he has finished his sushi and I take it as a sign to get out for a while and enjoy the comfort of a proper bed.
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I stand and face Matty, stroke his hair back.
"I'll see you in the morning, have a good rest" I say softly.
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And then we leave. Walking out I fight the urge to walk back in and check on his monitor. Instead I place one foot in front of the other, Jay by my side and head for the exit.
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