Rachel walks out just as we head into the hallway. She looks at me glancing at my arms and then swiftly looking away. She takes in myself and Matty leaving a bedroom together and I realise how this comes across.
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"Oh Deja vu you too" she smiles.
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"Oh stop it" he jibes and I love how he doesn't make me think of a comeback, I'm not at the top of my game right now or in my right head and I can't think. So he doesn't make me. He continues conversing with Rachel as we walk down the steps. Keeping her entertained so that I do not have to talk.
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"Rachel, Jacob is still here. It's mad I know but can you please just go with it for me" I say softly. I don't want to divulge all of his secrets to everybody, about Sophia. But it may come to that.
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"Got ya bestie" she smiles.
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I skip over to Jay and sit on his lap leaving two chairs for them to sit in. Jay pulls me in close and it's so comforting, just hearing his heartbeat and feeling his chest rise and fall.
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"So you're leaving" Rach says to Ross.
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We're not going to talk about last night and that is fine by me. Matty glances at me inconspicuously and it's our little secret. I smile at him and he smiles back, good girl. I rest into Jay, feeling safe in his arms.
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"Yes I'm going to make sure Matty doesn't get lost in London" he says laughing. Matty smiles at him.
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"Were you going to tell anybody other than Taylor or..." she laughs.
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"Of course" he smiles.
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"There's still time" Matty says.
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Rachel pulls her phone out and sighs looking at it. She's scrolling.
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"Messages from Nate?" I ask.
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"Yes not sure what I'm going to do about that one" she says. I liked them for each other, they worked.
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"I think you should meet up and discuss" I laugh.
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"Discuss what? I cheated on him a hell of a lot" she chuckles. She's being harsh and mean. She pulls on her pink fluffy coat, and stands to grab her duffle bag. She refuses to look at Jacob.
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"I've booked a cab if anybody wants to join" she says looking at Ross and Matty, only.
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"I've booked for us" Ross says glancing at Matty.
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"Jacob would you like me to drop you anywhere" Jay says.
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He wants him out, and he is doing his upmost best to be good about it. Considering the circumstances.
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"Thanks man I've booked a cab too though" Jacob says and I smile. Jay is not going anywhere.
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"Well that was one hell of an experience" I laugh standing up and stretching. I pull Jay up with me and he obliges walking with me. We head out through the gardens. I refuse to be traumatised in my own place by what happened yesterday and I defiantly walk back through the cherry trees where Jacob...did what he did.
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I squeeze Jays hand as we reach the part and he holds me that little bit tighter. I never want him to let me go.
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"Rach" I say once we're in the house again. Her cab pulls up in the driveway. She hooks her bag on her shoulder and pulls down her shades.
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"Talking works. So meet up with him" I say and I'm
Absolutely certain there's a teardrop trailing down her cheeks. I hug her.
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"Whatever happens I'm here" I say.
She nods and heads out to her cab. Getting in slamming the door and she's gone. I hug Ross and Matty before they go. Jacob leaves, I don't hug him or touch him I just watch him walk away.
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"We need to pack beautiful" Jay says turning to look at me. He knows what I need, to be busy.
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"Where is the spa" I ask smiling.
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"It's a four hour drive" he explains.
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"It's remote" he laughs.
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He scoops me into his arms. Kisses me tenderly.
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"This is very cute" he smiles looking at my blue dress.
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I rest into his chest. He dips my chin up to his.
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"Hey I love you" he says.
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I kiss him pas through my watering eyes. The quiet, the absence of our friends. I keep seeing it in my head, feeling the worry and the pain.
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"I love you" I say pulling away from him.
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He wipes my eyes, holding onto me.
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"Do you want me to report it to the police" he asks softly.
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"No he didn't actually rape me" I say and it's so difficult to say the r word.
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"It's assault" he says.
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"With intent" he adds.
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"No" I say thinking of having to explain it all over again. Reliving every detail to some officer who probably doesn’t want to hear. I pull him into me again, he's worried.
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"Take me upstairs" I say and he's momentarily confused.
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I need to be able to get past it, make sure I can let him touch me like that. Every time he's tried too since I've stiffened up. I cannot have that.
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"Take me Jay" I whisper and he lifts me up in my pale blue dress his hands holding under my bum.
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He kisses me passionately all the way up the stairs. We don't speak at all. He sets me down on our bed and delicately lifts my dress up and over my head. Swooping my hair back he kisses my neck and my clavicles. I try to relax, keeping myself still and watching him.
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His hand travels down, instinctively stroking bump. I breathe in sharply as he lowers my panties. He assesses the situation, making sure I'm okay. He smiles at me reassuringly, standing and removing his own clothes.
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I watch him, his chest and abs. He slowly and delicately holds my hips. I flinch, but not because I don't want him. I look down at my hips and see two huge bruises on either side of them. He lowers his face to them and kisses them delicately.
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Just light soft kisses, I lay back onto the bed.
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"You're so beautiful" he says and his tongue finds its way between my legs.
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"So beautiful. I love you" he says between sucking.
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And I relax. My hands finding their way into his hair. He comes up and hovers over me, I smile at him. The boyish expression on his face. He slowly thrusts inside of me and I keep his eye contact.
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"Jay" I moan my legs wrapping around him.
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He increases his thrusts and my breath hitches. My hips ache and he slows down again. Smiling at me and kissing me.
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"You’re so beautiful" he whispers and kisses my neck.
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“I will never ever let anything happen to you ever again” he says.
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He slowly thrusts into me and I kiss him. We orgasm together and I feel complete again.
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He lays on his back next to me, pondering and getting his breath back.
“Taylor” he says and he’s thoughtful.
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“Jay” I respond and I face him, it hurts again moving. I must have blocked out the pain at the time, I was in a state of fight or flight, and I didn’t quite realise how much pressure he put on my body.
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“You’re injured” he says and he looks as though he’s going to cry.
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“My darling” he says and he brushes my hip bone.
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“I’m so sorry I let this happen to you” he says softly.
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“No this is not on you” I say defiantly.
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“I was so stupid letting you go after him alone” he curses.
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“I will never be so reckless and careless with you again” he adds. He brushes my hips and they’re tender. I flinch.
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“Do you think we should check on everything” I say absentmindedly.
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“I want you to see forester anyways and it might be worth me having a checkup” I say and I sob.
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He holds me closely for a while. We lose track of time, just in each other’s arms.
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Eventually when we get up we pack our bags for the weekend, I stuff some prenatal vitamins in mine. Makeup and wash stuff. Spare clothes, lots of comfy and easy to pull on stuff. He looks at me and we leave heading for the hospital first.
