Let's be honest you should not really joke about having sex with your bestie in front of four guys. Including your fiancée, two ex lovers and dance partner.
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They all have stopped eating. I don't know what they expect, as if me and Rachel are going to lay on the table and start going at it. I sigh.
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I stand up and collect the plates, Jay stands and takes them off of me and I follow him into the kitchen.
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"This has been quite a boozy couple of days huh" he says as he's washing up.
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"For you it has" I say softly.
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"We've gotten through quite a few bottles of whiskey" he says and I put my arms around his waist from behind him.
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"Are you feeling a bit tipsy" I whisper.
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"Taylor I'm drunk" he sighs washing the dishes.
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I sweep my hand over his bare chest.
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"I love seeing you relaxed with everybody" I whisper in his ear.
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"I love seeing you smiling and laughing. Getting drunk and being carefree Jay" I say softly.
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"I love seeing you in this bikini" he smiles.
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He lets the water out and dries the plates.
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"I'm sorry I fell asleep. On Ross" I say softly in his ear.
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"Oh Taylor" he begins but I cut him off.
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"No" I say softly.
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"You're right he's going to London to try and I don't know forget his feelings for me. I haven't helped any of that at all. He's kissed me and the sex party" I ramble on.
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"He kissed you" he repeats and his body stiffens.
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"Well yeah, I usually have really good boundaries with him. But well the sex party" I say and he turns to face me.
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"When did he kiss you" he asks me directly.
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"Okay, can I just add that I'm a hormonal wreck. He kissed me a few hours ago" I say, leaving out the rest, all the other times. Last night, in the pool and in the kitchen. But I don't want to cause something.
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"When I was out" he replies.
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"Taylor if you learned that I was just kissing Rachel when you weren't around how would you feel" he says and he's mildly pissed.
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"I'm sorry" I say softly.
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He leaves the kitchen and walks straight out to the deck.
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"Man, why are you kissing her?" He asks Ross, pushing his hair back and he's clearly aggravated.
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I storm out behind him. Pleading Ross with my eyes not to rise to it.
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"Look man I'm sorry it's just because of the party okay" Ross says playing it down.
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"Taylor is my fiancée, she's carrying my child" he adds.
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"I'm sorry man, I know that of course" Ross says and he's being very calm. Not instigating any rise out of Jay.
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"Just stop it" I shout snapping, I might as well have stamped my feet I sound so childish.
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Rachel looks at me shocked, Jay turns to face me and I'm crying, for like the third time this evening.
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"He told me he's leaving okay, he might go for good and he's my best friend" I say half shouting.
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I storm off, embarrassed and angry with everything.
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"You're leaving" Rachel mutters to Ross, I hear as I'm wiping my eyes walking away from everybody. I walk through the cherry trees, all the way back to the house. I reach the terrace and rush up the stairs.
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I head all the way up the marble stairs straight for the bedroom. Where I collapse onto the four poster bed and cry like a sulking teen.
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This is my fault, it always is. I shouldn't have let him get close to me again. I do not want Jay shouting at Ross for something that is entirely on me. I pull the blanket over myself and hope that nobody bothers me.
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I hear the door creak, and I'm sobbing still. I pull the cover over my face, and hide. My cheeks are burning with hot tears and embarrassment.
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Jay slides in the bed next to me and he doesn't speak at all. His arms go around my waist, and he pulls me in close to him.
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"Shhh" he says softly.
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He runs his hands all over my tummy kissing my neck. I sob still facing the other way.
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"I'm sorry" he whispers.
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"I'm sorry" I whisper back.
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"It's all my fault, don't shout at him" I sob.
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"It's not, I overreacted. I've been finding it hard okay" he whispers.
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"Finding what hard" I ask.
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"Ross, how he is with you." He says and I face him in bed, I kiss him on his lips. Looking into his eyes, he's worried and I want to erase all of his troubles.
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"I just don't want to lose you okay" he says and there's moisture in his eyes.
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"You're not going to lose me" I whisper my face close to his. I feel hot and embarrassed. I must look all puffy eyed, with the amount I've cried.
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"I should have better boundaries with him. Usually I do. I haven't been fair to anybody" I say softly.
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He sighs and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. His ice blue eyes watching me.
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"I know that he knew you before I did. And I know that he's a better guy, and always has been. I know that you both have a connection" he says.
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I stroke his face with my hands wiping away any tears.
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"He's not a better guy. I love you, you're the best person in the world" I say.
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"Are you sure about me Taylor" he asks after a pause.
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"You are the thing I'm most sure about in my whole entire life" I say looking at him.
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"You are the person I'm marrying" I say and kiss him.
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"It's your baby I'm carrying in my belly" I smile.
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"I'm sure about you Jay" I say and I kiss him again.
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He kisses me back, a long kiss. I can feel his tears on my cheek and I kiss him over and over until they're all gone.
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"I need you" he says breathless.
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"I'm yours" I say and he climbs on top of me. His eyes trained on mine. Not looking away for a second.
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He pushes inside of me.
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"Tell me I'm the only one" he whispers.
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"You're the only one for me Jay" I say and he almost growls thrusting into me.
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I move my hips under him and he pushes his hair back sighing. Just watching me thrust into him.
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"Taylor" he gasps.
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"I wanna go on top" I say
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He smiles and moves off of me. Lying down on the bed his blonde hair tousled I stare at him. He's so perfect. I straddle him and he watches me, my hips moving into him.
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"I'm sorry" I say seductively to him whilst I'm grinding on him.
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"Can you forgive me" I ask him and he moans my name.
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"I'm so sorry, I love you" I say kissing him.
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"I love you" he whispers kissing me back.
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"Jay you're the best thing that's ever happened to me" I whisper in his ear moving on top of him.
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"You're the best thing" he says breathless and he's close. I grind into him the way he likes it and he moans my name over and over.
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"I love you so fucking much" I tell him and he explodes in me I can feel it and I let go. He holds onto me so close kissing me and holding my hips into him. I cry out at the intensity of my orgasm.
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"I love you" he whispers while I'm still on top.
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"I don't need to forgive you, because you haven't done anything wrong" he says in my ear.
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"I can't wait until you're my wife" he whispers and he's kissing me all over again. Holding me close and lightly thrusting into me. He's hard again already and I gasp.
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He flips me onto my back and pounds me into the bed.
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"Orgasm for me again Taylor" he says and he's crazy possessive right now. It's turning me on so much.
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"Mmmm” I say in his ear. He grabs my hands and pulls them above my head, clasping them in his own and watching me.
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“Jay” I say as he thrusts.
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“I love you, I’m sorry” he says seductively.
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“I love you” I say breathless. He’s unstoppable right now.
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He literally pushes into me so much that we end up pushed up to the headboard. I chuckle, enjoying every second of him being inside of me. He holds my legs up by my ankles and rests them on his shoulders.
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“Good girl” he whispers as I moan feeling myself let go again.
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He holds his hips into me as he finishes, not letting me go anywhere.
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“I’m sorry for being a dick, he’s your friend. Hell he’s my friend too. Making you cry is definitely not something I enjoy” he says.
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“No I get it, Jay. It was out of order and I’ll make sure he’s clear that he cannot just kiss me. I had been crying about him leaving and so had he. It was emotional, he’s a good friend.” I say stroking him.
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“Shall we leave them in the log cabin” I joke and he laughs, twinkling look back in his eyes that I never ever want him to lose.
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“Something tells me Rachel will come and find us” he laughs.
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“You have got a point” I sigh.
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“Tomorrow we’ll have the house to ourselves” I say.
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We get up and he pulls on his shorts, I place my bikini bottoms back on.
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“Make a list of all the things you wanna do just us two tomorrow” he smiles.
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“I just want some of your steak and chips” I laugh rubbing my tummy slightly.
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“And a shower together” I say smiling as we walk downstairs.
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“The rain shower” I say and he chuckles.
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“God you’re the perfect partner” he winks at me.
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“So are you” I smile.
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