I woke up at eleven in the morning, had breakfast and left for home. The drive back was easier, mostly because I was so excited to see Damien after three days.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVkgOS2Y3m
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I was planning on going home, do laundry and find Cleo. I wanted to try and talk to her one more time. We were best friends since we were babies, her opinion meant the world to me and I wanted to be clear about that; even if she haven’t contacted me at all since I left town.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8M0icN0cUs
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As soon as I arrived I went towards my parents kitchen; not even bothering going into my garage.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ302V4qRxCx
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“Hello,” I greeted my mom as I entered the kitchen from the back door.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGfBCtN9C6
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“Welcome home baby,” mom replied “How are you?”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6G1yk4IQr
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“Fine, you?” I smiled and left my bag on the floor.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOlJM4LlPQ
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“Got dirty clothes?”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSv7lxglJF
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“Yup,” I grinned “Why aren’t you at the office?”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjqmUISKK7
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“Have to visit a client in a bit,” she explained and narrowed her eyes when she noticed I was smiling at her. “Don’t look at me like that, do laundry yourself.”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuZ3bcpy78
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“Fine,” I groaned and I retrieved my bag before walking towards her. I kissed her cheek as I passed her by and exited the kitchen. I turned right and entered the laundry room. I left the bag on the ground once again and took my mobile out of my back pocket. I dialed Damien’s number and put it on speaker phone. His phone was disconnected. I put the phone back into my pocket thinking he must be at work.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpXBNVcaDh
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After putting all my clothes into the washing machine I sat in the kitchen with my mom until she left for work. I tried calling Damien again and like earlier his phone was disconnected. I sat into my parent’s living room to watch some television, though I should probably be into my garage and try and study.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UtSJw4axZ
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2wgvfljw4
I dialed Max’s number and put the phone on speaker. It took three rings before he picked up.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡug61yQgATN
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“Hey,” he breathed, sounding weird.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tVD6ncIem
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“Hello to you too,” I frowned a little bit “Are you okay?” I asked referring to his weird greeting.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSJvqIuW51
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“I’m okay, how are you?” he asked, still sounding weird.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Gjx0VzSio
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“Fine,” I replied “Where are you? I’m home!” I smiled. He didn’t reply for a moment.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaO8vhb2Z8P
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“Fuck,” he mumbled “Dude, I’m gonna have to call you back,” he said; the word rushing out of his mouth.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcW4I5Jdii
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchE8ZXGkKR
“Okay, don’t be late because I’m so bored!” I replied and hung up. I wanted to call Cleo but something stopped me. So I texted her instead. “I’m back home, if you want a coffee.” I remained on that couch until three o’clock in the afternoon when Max finally called me.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8m2rSTc9i
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“Hey, “ he breathed “Offer still stands?” he asked.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1B4EKNCUOg
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“Of course,” I replied “Come over!”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqq9Kyyz2P4
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Max turned up soon afterwards. He said Cleo was trying to finish a project that she working on since I left. She was trying to keep herself occupied as I understood.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7jTlW1j28
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He told me she had a date with Mike two nights ago and that she looked very optimistic. It looked like Max was trying to avoid mentioning Damien, so I left it at that, doing the very same thing but not really understanding the reason.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIX0mND1RI
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About an hour later, that I still haven’t heard from Damien, my mom returned home. I refused to cook for myself because I was cooking the whole time I was living with James, so her arrival made me extra happy.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSwgqaIglL
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I was sitting with Max in the kitchen sofa playing cards until the food was ready. Thankfully mom had prepared the meat and now I only had to wait half an hour until it was grilled. At some point I heard mom talking on the phone, telling someone to bring a soda for us. A while later Evita, the twin’s mother, walked through the kitchen door.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoedkkVdom
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“Hello guys,” she greeted us “Welcome Erica.”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwzFrR0CRG
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“Hello Aunt,” I smiled and got up to take the soda that she put on the kitchen counter. “How are you?” I smiled.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5Tluz2l0n
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“Here,” my mom said at the same time and left some money on the counter.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxTFSgz4P4
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChBH4xP3FO
“Don’t even think about it,” Evita replied to her. “I’m still trying to digest the fact that my baby left again,” she sighed.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2b7z5lH86
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“Which baby left?” I frowned with a half smile as I walked towards the cupboard with the glasses. Max was here. Cleo was at home. That only left one person that could leave…404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbymQzplZ1J
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBj2nTN26u
“Damien,” and a deep sigh escaped her chest the same time the realization hit me. My heart fell. I blinked; staring at the shelves. My chest started going up and down quickly as my heartbeat increased. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took one glass in my hands.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ906g2LDFad
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKguxpR9rSc
“Wasn’t he supposed to leave in two weeks?” I asked trying to sound as casual as possible. I took another glass out of the cupboard and opened up the soda bottle.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡew5JaSlQxZ
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtW7D8rnUzi
“Yeah,” Evita said “But he said he got a call this morning at work from some friends and he’s meeting them in Rome before going in Tuscany,” she explained. I felt a strong pain in my chest as I tried to keep the tears back.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfimw7HkBN
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“That’s nice,” I noted and put the soda into the fridge; never turning my head towards Evita or my mom. I wanted to keep my expression hidden because I didn’t even know how I looked like.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbohSsFDfS
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“You kids should go and visit, using those tickets he got you for your birthday,” she suggested as I was walking towards Max.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvSoflePJG
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“Maybe after their exams,” my mom spoke. I put the soda on the table in front of Max, never looking at him.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iDpLe5HsM
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“Yeah, after the exams,” I replied and sat down with my back towards the kitchen. I didn’t care if Max saw me crying, but I didn’t want Evita to see me. I took a deep breath and focused on my cards.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXGroQDJhf
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“Your turn,” I said to Max. He didn’t move for a moment.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQNu9CIQZd
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“Yeah,” he breathed after a while and put a card down. I sipped my soda and took a deep breath. I couldn’t stop staring at my phone. We haven’t even finished the game when I grabbed it from the table and dialed Damien’s number.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuENecD3Sy4
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOCCMdClEj
Nothing. His phone was disconnected. My breathing started to increase and I leaned forward, touching my elbows on my knees, as I tried to calm myself down. “Why would he leave like that? Things were fine last night” I was thinking over and over again.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1YXIbnV0i
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaTLozsmA7
My mom approached us then, holding two plates with grilled chicken and left them on the table. I thanked her, not really talking, and pulled the plate in front of me.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOJHMkOlWy
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Max closed the door behind us as we walked into the renovated garage. I took small steps towards the bed and sat down; my chest aching.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEhmQb8GmH
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“Did he…” I breathed “Did he really left?” I frowned looking at Max for the first time.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rL7oQTT4y
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“Fuck,” he mumbled and leaned against the door “You didn’t know. He said everything’s okay,” Max frowned.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zi4cPqaZo
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“When did he say that?” I asked; my voice fainted.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4eOvaSPah
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“He woke me up this morning,” Max breathed and took a step from the door “And said he’s leaving. I asked where he’s going because I got confused because I knew he went into the office this morning and he said that he got a call from a friend and that he’s meeting his old buddies in Rome before going up to Tuscany,” Max explained like he knew I needed to hear the story one more time.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKYJ45qbVB
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29zicebmiX
He walked towards me as he spoke again “I followed him to the door and I asked if you knew about this,” he said and finally sat down beside me. I swallowed. “He said “everything’s okay kid”, hugged me, hugged Cleo and left,” he breathed.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIbcxstUWR
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I couldn’t speak. Everything was fine last night. He was excited that I was finally coming back home. What could possibly change overnight? Or if nothing changed, and everything was okay why he left without calling or texting? Or at least answering his phone?404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUNVVS6vsp
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“I…” I stuttered “We spoke last night…” I breathed. “I don’t understand,” I whispered and pulled back on the bed, pulling my legs against my chest. Max turned towards me and put his hand on my ankle; stroking my skin with his thumb.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2aeNo0Lrh
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“I’ll talk to him. He’ll call sooner or later,” he said.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlr2hnQWQIX
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“No, no,” I rapidly shook my head.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UwJoMo2Me
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“Why not?” Max frowned.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuD9QWbAOyu
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“Don’t get involved please,” I shook my head again but slowly this time.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjefUutzi2
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“I wanna know too,” he blinked.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKTZhkhFms
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“Please don’t. For the past two months I’ve been trying to keep this casual, like I wasn’t dating your brother. You getting involved will cancel all that out,” I explained.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFj3CupDcbM
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The truth was that I was afraid. I didn’t want him to feel pressure about anything. If his brother got involved he would probably feel pressured and that would pushed him further away from me. If it was possible to be further apart.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdO8qHH0kF
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I should have left. I should have taken the chance to go away for university. Then none of this would have happened. Even if I have taken up on Alex’s offer. I wouldn’t have stayed and Alex wouldn’t have broken my heart and most importantly I wouldn’t be around to fall in love with Damien once again.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIho2cS14o
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWamrouwlE
It hurt so badly. What I was feeling now was nothing compared to how I felt when Alex cheated or when we broke up. My heart was shuttered into a million little pieces inside my chest and everytime I had a thought of him it was like those little pieces cut through my flesh; burning my insides and killing me even more in the process.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9dZFxhWVU
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I even made my mother cry when she came to check on me that day. And it hurt more. I was avoiding the mirrors because I didn’t want to see how I looked like. The way I felt was enough.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoUJ8wSqYe
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There were moments that I couldn’t understand why he would leave like this. Moments that I was going insane, running our last conversations over and over and over again into my mind trying to find what went wrong. And I would pick up the phone and dial his number.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPw3e3YYtla
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He never answered; even if the phone was now working, two days after he left. And why would he? We didn’t belong together. I wasn’t enough. Why would he stay with me? It was a miracle we even had those two months together. I should be happy I had those two months. I should be happy I got to taste his bittersweet lips, stare into his mesmerizing grey eyes. Deep down I was glad I never got to tell him how I really felt because he would probably laugh.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34Ay88fTqX
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Scg8qhuZf
But what about all those times he held me into his arms and stared into my eyes? The times when he wanted me to say I was his. Why would he do that if he never cared? Or when he assured me that he would never cheat on me. Why would he do that? He knew I hated big words. He knew I hated promises and yet he would say those things.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiZz371cWE
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktXf6NDyLQ
Every time the phone rang my heart fluttered. But it was never him and the soft pain in my chest returned again. Max was calling regularly to check on me; trying to get me out of the house. Cleo had texted me, asking if I was okay but I wasn’t ready for her or the outside world yet.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZRl2rky15
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Only the third day I got up from the bed and opened my laptop, trying to slowly have a connection with the outside world. Yesterday and the day before that my mother came home from work to cook and bring me food; that only made me feel more pathetic but I never argued.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27TEdoPgfn
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAhrs78aLU
After I was done eating and I was ready to sit on the couch and ignore the world around me, including my examinations, my phone rang. My heart fluttered but fell when I saw that it wasn’t him. It was Alex. I had completely forgotten about him.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclkEBrmOqu
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“Hello,” I answered; my voice completely lifeless.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzwUcnMGrW
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“Hello,” he said slowly and I could hear the frown on his features “Are you okay?” he asked, sounding anxious. I breathed sharply.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXw3EaMIF5W
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“Yes,” I lied automatically.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56n180R6kJ
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“I thought that by now you’d know better than to lie to me, love,” he said softly.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5G6S6clA4
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“I’m not in the mood Alex,” I replied; the impatience coloring my voice.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59Zbf1dwFf
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“I’m coming to pick you up,” he said but by the time I refused he had already hung up the phone.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq15B066Ac6
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He arrived sooner than expected; right when I was done getting ready. Not that I made an effort. I just put on a pair of jeans and a simple black top. Thankfully it was daytime and I could hide my red puffy eyes under my black sunglasses.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE11wWSSXMi
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I greeted him heartlessly as I sat beside him in the black Aston Martin. He breathed a greeting back and never spoke again until we were at the mansion.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8flhXpour
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“When did you arrived?” I asked as we got out of the car.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4z8TGpQCi
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“This morning,” he replied as he walked beside me towards the double doors of the entrance. “How did you know?” he smiled.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMLqUDtoyn
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Xq0Epiz8L
“You came too fast,” I made an attempt to smile but failed. Smiling felt strange. He looked at me for a moment and then turned around, opening the door and walked inside.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lEX3P95jR
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pub4ug22d
I never thought that I could talk to Alex so freely about what I felt. Maybe it was because when we were together it was the only thing I never wanted to do. But I didn’t care anymore. I knew he wouldn’t judge me for having feelings for Damien.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qL3gNbpR7
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYroh73RNR
When, at some point, I burst into tears he pulled me into his arms and held me there. And as he kept me I realized that maybe I shouldn’t have talk to him at all. Three days ago our positions were reversed, maybe it was selfish talking to him; after all he had his own problems to deal with. I pulled back and wiped the tears from my eyes.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1WBw5gzmq
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“Are you okay?” he asked softly.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlHJtt2ePG
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“I’m better, thank you,” I swallowed and pushed my fist against my chest, trying to ease the pain. “How are you?” I looked at him, trying to keep my mind occupied. I saw him looking at my hand that was against my chest before looking at my eyes.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0uwL2dhok
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“I’m better too,” he smiled.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOu5zX74W5
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“Have you gone to the cemetery?” I asked. He turned forward and looked at the floor, brushing his face with his fingers.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bURW8tZn6
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“No.”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcgBA9oKR3
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“We’re gonna go together,” I told him “I’ll be there with you,” I assured him. He breathed and nodded. “What about your father? Have you talked to him?”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYI0wi3RREh
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“No,” he said his expression hardening “My father and I don’t talk.”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1HpfFs0F1
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“Well, he’ll notice when you’re better and everything will be okay,” I told him and took his hand in mine. He turned towards me and looked at me; his brown eyes liquid.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBpPq9W4y5
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“I admire you for being able to do that,” he mumbled.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBTMnb0F24
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“Do what?” I blinked.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsF7m3aWf8
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBbigqOUtE
“Be so strong.”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneyXVUVGNs
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“There’s no strength left in me,” I whispered, shaking my head lightly and looked at the floor.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCwezHUnkO
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“Hey,” he said and searched for my eyes. I turned to look at him before he spoke again. “You’ll get over this,” he said sounding confident.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScNj1XmkeU
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“I can’t,” I winced and my tears betrayed me once again. I turned my head away from him and tried to wipe the tears away.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdsHcsPoe1
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“Come here,” I heard him saying right before he pulled me to his arms again. He put his palm against the side of my head as my cheek was laying against his collar bone. “Calm down,” he whispered and a déjà vu hit me; Damien holding me as I was crying over Alex. I pulled away abruptly from him as my breathing fastened and the pain in my chest hardened.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaB25XYH6P
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“I’m sorry,” I breathed. Alex looked at me shocked.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuU6OI2BVz8
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“What?” he asked confused “About what?” he frowned and I got up.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlz3PbBduK
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“It’s my fault. Everything’s my fault,” I mumbled as the air filled my lungs quickly; my chest going up and down rapidly. “Four months ago he was the one holding me,” I begun talking quickly and started hyperventilating “As I was crying over you. Now it’s happening again but in reverse. It’s me. I keep doing this,” I rambled, tears oozing from eyes.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyYNXWZaK4
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I was doing this. Alex was never the right guy for me and maybe neither was Damien. Maybe that’s why it hurt so bad, because I wanted him to be that guy so bad. My chest was going up and down quickly and aching. I didn’t noticed Alex moving, until he was standing in front of me.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMaTZbKAFI
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“Erica, calm down,” he said, putting his palms against my cheeks and looking at me. I bit my bottom lip trying to calm down with no success. Everything was great before he kissed me that day in the swimming pool for the first time. Why would he do that? I was fine before. I was fine just imagining that kiss, imagining him looking into my eyes with care. I was fine before.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CdTrF4sPh
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But I was glad I lived it. Grateful that I was free to caress his beautiful face and that I saw the way he looked and smelled after sex. I was thankful even if now my insides were aching and burning like a demon’s flesh that’s being touched by holy water. I breathed out a whimper and put my palm against the center of my chest.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIEa4caqSa
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“It’s the same thing isn’t?” he asked; looking at me. I just stared at him. “Let’s go,” he said and grabbed my hand.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAz7IqIFwgf
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“Where?” I asked breathlessly.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dpC7DvcrS
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“To the hospital,” he said; his voice colored with his intimidating tone.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0p8AQspBrN
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The ride towards the hospital helped a little bit, mostly because Alex had my window wide open. If I cared the slightest about myself at that point, I would be worried about getting pneumonia.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadJhPmyI61
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At some point I heard him talking on the phone to one or two people but I didn’t pay attention. I was just glad that he didn’t know the twins or my parent’s number. Or at least I hoped he didn’t. I was too lost in my trance to worry about that. My mind was spinning and I had lain back enjoying the ride.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKhliT1N2j
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Only when we walked into the Emergency Room I became aware of what was really happening. The pain in my chest wasn’t so bad anymore but I still felt something. Maybe it was my heart that was ripped out.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yNjIVERVj
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I guessed that the phone calls that Alex made as he drove me to the hospital were to a doctor because we didn’t have to wait at all. A doctor led the way towards one of the beds and told me to sit down. When he asked how I felt I was very tempted to say that it felt like I was hit by a truck but I thought it would be better to avoid my bitter humor.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Wgde3s8zF
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“Does it still hurt?” he asked as he took my pressure. Alex was standing on the end of the bed, his one arm against his chest and the other over it as his fingers were tracing his mouth; the whole time staring at me.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SS3sochRn
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“No,” I replied “But it tickles,” I frowned not sure if that was the right word to describe the feeling.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuu1fjDHmE
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“Mr. White, can you please pull the curtains close?” he asked Alex and then turned towards me. “Lift your shirt please, I need to listen to your heart,” he told me. I nodded not even thinking that Alex was there.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqP6mWJdZc
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“Do you want me to …” Alex told me, pointing outside. I shook my head politely. It wasn’t like he would see anything he hasn’t seen before. That thought brought a scoff to my lips that I chocked as the doctor place the stethoscope to my chest and then my heart rate increased again.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtrRmsezeh
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“Take another deep breath please,” he told me and I noticed a light frown. My sight blurred for a moment but then I controlled myself and did what the doctor asked. “Okay, turn around,” he asked and I turned towards Alex; my top still upwards. I blinked to control the tears and gave a weak smile to Alex. “Okay,” the doctor exhaled and removed the stethoscope. I pulled down my top and turned towards him again.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfVwV5OxZp
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“You just had an anxiety attack,” he looked at me.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4Gz9v2Gjz
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“But I’m not anxious about anything,” I frowned. I didn’t give damn about my classes at this point.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRT02i8xWu6
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“From your symptoms, pounding heart, shortness of breath, hyperventilation and insomnia I can come up with one answer and that is anxiety attack,” he begun. “But I can say that grieving can also be a cause. Grieving is a powerful emotion that can have physical effects on our autonomic system and can even cause arrhythmias or bursting of weakened blood vessels,” the doctor explained. I wasn’t surprised he thought of “grief”; my red eyes were one of my symptoms.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7d7Ee5D1rf
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“Oh,” was all I managed to say. “What can I do?” I asked.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8UU6Rbjuz
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“Because this have happened again in the past, I’m going to prescribe something to just calm you down,” he said.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklzxyILBBM
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“Anti-depression drugs?” Alex asked.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGw9rFBAFI
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“What?” I frowned “No,” I turned towards the doctor as I realized what drugs he meant. “I have my exams to study for,”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8q2ic3w1D0
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“Alright, take one before you go to sleep for two nights in the row. It will help you sleep and rest. Then take them if you start having any symptoms again, okay?” the doctor smiled and wrote something on a paper and left it. “Though I don’t think it will happen again soon.”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgQDcDzirs
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“Thank you Dr. Wallace,” Alex said as I nodded. The doctor smiled at him and shook his hand before leaving us alone. I exhaled deeply and got up from the bed. Alex walked next to me, his hand on the back of my waist as we exited the hospital.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4CFhIO0zk
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“That was interesting,” I smiled as approached the car. “Many people have been dumped before but how many were they diagnosed?” I laughed.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jr6EsjWjr
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“I need to know that you’ll be okay,” Alex told me as he sat opened the passengers door for me.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTFRCnZxEM
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“I’ll try,” I mumbled.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDw3oe4ZII4
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The next two days I did sleep well thanks to the drugs the doctor gave me but the third night was as the same as the first night I learned Damien left. I tossed and turned, curling up into a ball. I tried to avoid taking a pill again because I’ve heard that you can get addicted to anti-depressing’s.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VSf5up2tR
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I wanted to hear his voice so bad; to hear that everything was okay. And I made the mistake to pick up my phone and call him; because this time he picked up. My heart almost exploded.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIW8e9ZIZh2
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“What?” he asked so abruptly that made my heart shutter into a million pieces.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHNUv6O1iL
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“Hi,” I breathed.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUNPpGojRp
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“What the hell Erica?” he asked. I never thought it would hurt this bad to hear him calling my name “It’s four o’clock in the morning!” he replied; his tone cold and distant.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zmkjyl6yG
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“I’m sorry,” I whispered “I just needed to hear your voice,” I swallowed hard.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwA2sNwXtx
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“So what?”he breathed out. He sounded like he was struggling too but it still hurt so badly. Tears filled my eyes and I hung up the phone before throwing it at the end of the bed. I wasn’t ready for this. I fell against my pillow, covering my face and smothered the sound of my sobs.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07H6rdv7Nx
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And that’s when it happened again; the pounding pain returned to my chest. I sat up trying to calm down and looked at my phone, thought of calling Alex but I didn’t want to wake him up. So I stood up and walked into the shower. But again, tears came out of nowhere. I couldn’t calm myself down. I wrapped my towel around my body, between sobs, and walked into the room again.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQ8jdKPr84
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“Yes?” Alex answered his phone sleepily.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtMDU25wc5
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“I’m sorry,” I said softly “I…” I trailed. And that’s when Alex must have realized it was me on the phone.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYNAP9l93G
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“Are you okay?” he asked anxiously.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZrTuVEA6a
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“I don’t know,” I whispered but my breathing was still quick.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3qHLfzlT7
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“It happened again?”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcOr14iygc
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“Yes,” I breathed.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtdbvyfOCj
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“Get dressed.” He said and hung up the phone; not even giving me the chance to argue with him.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKoBZYZfwT
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This time the doctor that examined me thought it was best to keep me in. He said that it was suspicious for a girl my age to get those episodes so regularly. I tried to delay notifying my mother as much as possible as I didn’t want to scare her. I was lying in a bed, with stickers against my chest and my heart beat was beeping through a machine for the entire room to hear.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKiODuEcGB
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“You need to call your mother,” Alex said from the foot of the bed. I studied him for a moment and noticed that I never saw him dressed so casual and I frowned.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyK04f3gEth
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“You’re not wearing a button up shirt,” I stated. He chuckled and shook his head.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfV18UcSAlU
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“Yeah, sorry,” he smiled “I didn’t have time for a formal outfit,” he mocked.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCiRj5jE5M
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“Thank you for coming,” I smiled at him. He looked at me for a moment and then sat down at the end of the bed; exhaling deeply.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8GrUlQ0u6
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“Three days ago, when you’re having that episode, you said something,” he begun “You said that you keep doing this to yourself,” he said. I felt uncomfortable and the beeping sound on the machine picked up. He looked at the machine for a second and then took my hand in his. I swallowed waiting to hear what he would say next. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time,” he sighed.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3wcDxaJqw
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“What? You’ve lost me,” I frowned.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKYVdmJp7h
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“If we haven’t met that night, you wouldn’t be in here now,” he explained but I was still lost.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnu0MkEmeD
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“Alex, what are you talking about?”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHGlV1r4Gu
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“I’ve been thinking about this since that night at the club you had the first episode,” he explained and that’s when I realized what he was talking about. That night when we were out together after the second time we got together. I couldn’t breathe inside the club and accidentally told him this was happening often since he left.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7Yw5vSnhf
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“Oh my God,” I frowned “This isn’t your fault,” I breathed and tried to sit up.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSVf53YJk5
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“Stay down,” he said and stopped me from getting up “This is my fault. I damaged you so badly and he…” he trailed. The thought of Damien brought a sharp pain into my chest that made me ignore what he said.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxzZ8NvZGC
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“He broke me,” I smiled a humorless smile; the machine giving me in. Alex looked towards it and stood up.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoe9BhfAlq
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“Damn it, I shouldn’t have brought this up now,” he frowned. “Here,” he said and gave me my phone “Call your mother. It’s seven a.m.”404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvywGqCQ8EC
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I looked at him and sighed. It was best to hear it from me that I was in the hospital; to see that it wasn’t anything serious. Or at least I hoped it wasn’t.404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDsZLbGCKy
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Conjure One - Tears From the Moon404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12hYgetnkN
