I woke up at eleven in the morning, had breakfast and left for home. The drive back was easier, mostly because I was so excited to see Damien after three days.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpZkNJgbaS
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgxmHMLJmz
I was planning on going home, do laundry and find Cleo. I wanted to try and talk to her one more time. We were best friends since we were babies, her opinion meant the world to me and I wanted to be clear about that; even if she haven’t contacted me at all since I left town.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3nDUiHKMs
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As soon as I arrived I went towards my parents kitchen; not even bothering going into my garage.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IRCkzOigr
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“Hello,” I greeted my mom as I entered the kitchen from the back door.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDC55rZ7FnW
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47iUjhborK
“Welcome home baby,” mom replied “How are you?”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbcuhpZY7R
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUB4IrxOhGT
“Fine, you?” I smiled and left my bag on the floor.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHxkd1w09f
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“Got dirty clothes?”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WVal8JANY
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“Yup,” I grinned “Why aren’t you at the office?”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76XZ8ntz6I
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsuUmLHEGK
“Have to visit a client in a bit,” she explained and narrowed her eyes when she noticed I was smiling at her. “Don’t look at me like that, do laundry yourself.”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLD3XwFDtc
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfB2ECuKNp
“Fine,” I groaned and I retrieved my bag before walking towards her. I kissed her cheek as I passed her by and exited the kitchen. I turned right and entered the laundry room. I left the bag on the ground once again and took my mobile out of my back pocket. I dialed Damien’s number and put it on speaker phone. His phone was disconnected. I put the phone back into my pocket thinking he must be at work.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYMGz1cFN2
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2X7XeZk4g
After putting all my clothes into the washing machine I sat in the kitchen with my mom until she left for work. I tried calling Damien again and like earlier his phone was disconnected. I sat into my parent’s living room to watch some television, though I should probably be into my garage and try and study.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJDQkv6xYs
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaC9r7L2vz
I dialed Max’s number and put the phone on speaker. It took three rings before he picked up.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvI0HgmLQ1Y
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTAG9svtaY
“Hey,” he breathed, sounding weird.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB8TAeBu0N
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEBzcnUFe0
“Hello to you too,” I frowned a little bit “Are you okay?” I asked referring to his weird greeting.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83X2TBD83N
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbLaGQ0FCW
“I’m okay, how are you?” he asked, still sounding weird.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKriFLXZASz
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyj2kDVxkGv
“Fine,” I replied “Where are you? I’m home!” I smiled. He didn’t reply for a moment.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWn8Wg5QeV5
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsWP7lxctu
“Fuck,” he mumbled “Dude, I’m gonna have to call you back,” he said; the word rushing out of his mouth.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OND7Y3L1j
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuz33xwdJf
“Okay, don’t be late because I’m so bored!” I replied and hung up. I wanted to call Cleo but something stopped me. So I texted her instead. “I’m back home, if you want a coffee.” I remained on that couch until three o’clock in the afternoon when Max finally called me.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTpZoG79SQ
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1iPvsRm3u
“Hey, “ he breathed “Offer still stands?” he asked.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhXhXblmWK
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHcU5BLCmF
“Of course,” I replied “Come over!”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsul0no6kq8
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJsA7l6urj
Max turned up soon afterwards. He said Cleo was trying to finish a project that she working on since I left. She was trying to keep herself occupied as I understood.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6VoKu7rtq
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHw9PUpfRH
He told me she had a date with Mike two nights ago and that she looked very optimistic. It looked like Max was trying to avoid mentioning Damien, so I left it at that, doing the very same thing but not really understanding the reason.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllG5k7F7G0
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqf7yZRVWM2
About an hour later, that I still haven’t heard from Damien, my mom returned home. I refused to cook for myself because I was cooking the whole time I was living with James, so her arrival made me extra happy.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgut4xzsq3v
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteOH4xkPaq
I was sitting with Max in the kitchen sofa playing cards until the food was ready. Thankfully mom had prepared the meat and now I only had to wait half an hour until it was grilled. At some point I heard mom talking on the phone, telling someone to bring a soda for us. A while later Evita, the twin’s mother, walked through the kitchen door.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJzBHB3d02
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡms0w2sYfnd
“Hello guys,” she greeted us “Welcome Erica.”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdkmuSom9N
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuTkRYVAmg
“Hello Aunt,” I smiled and got up to take the soda that she put on the kitchen counter. “How are you?” I smiled.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6DPKymtQy
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6YcOEWrYT
“Here,” my mom said at the same time and left some money on the counter.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoO8O1uXj6
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9Pvgkj5kw
“Don’t even think about it,” Evita replied to her. “I’m still trying to digest the fact that my baby left again,” she sighed.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbXpZiHN8a
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeR7MZrXB5
“Which baby left?” I frowned with a half smile as I walked towards the cupboard with the glasses. Max was here. Cleo was at home. That only left one person that could leave…397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM870lvkIpX
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRu6HnM0a5
“Damien,” and a deep sigh escaped her chest the same time the realization hit me. My heart fell. I blinked; staring at the shelves. My chest started going up and down quickly as my heartbeat increased. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took one glass in my hands.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVaTn6FJAK
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfTqGIJFVa
“Wasn’t he supposed to leave in two weeks?” I asked trying to sound as casual as possible. I took another glass out of the cupboard and opened up the soda bottle.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTslVyuKk8C
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jc1bE2DQW
“Yeah,” Evita said “But he said he got a call this morning at work from some friends and he’s meeting them in Rome before going in Tuscany,” she explained. I felt a strong pain in my chest as I tried to keep the tears back.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15FH4DZTOS
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cdo4X9V5J
“That’s nice,” I noted and put the soda into the fridge; never turning my head towards Evita or my mom. I wanted to keep my expression hidden because I didn’t even know how I looked like.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NkUwiP4ul
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnMkjMxo7o
“You kids should go and visit, using those tickets he got you for your birthday,” she suggested as I was walking towards Max.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjO4JlbkbB
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lNNGUFgzE
“Maybe after their exams,” my mom spoke. I put the soda on the table in front of Max, never looking at him.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5sQhHo9iv
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLdSvsxRvz
“Yeah, after the exams,” I replied and sat down with my back towards the kitchen. I didn’t care if Max saw me crying, but I didn’t want Evita to see me. I took a deep breath and focused on my cards.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPhZ5VZdVV
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0kO99o6q0
“Your turn,” I said to Max. He didn’t move for a moment.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBtGa2aULT
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlB5cQyPUvy
“Yeah,” he breathed after a while and put a card down. I sipped my soda and took a deep breath. I couldn’t stop staring at my phone. We haven’t even finished the game when I grabbed it from the table and dialed Damien’s number.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDphmjIb5lw
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuyNDmy7HF
Nothing. His phone was disconnected. My breathing started to increase and I leaned forward, touching my elbows on my knees, as I tried to calm myself down. “Why would he leave like that? Things were fine last night” I was thinking over and over again.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vE7jPnaOY
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8AsVV0BDw
My mom approached us then, holding two plates with grilled chicken and left them on the table. I thanked her, not really talking, and pulled the plate in front of me.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAW86SoqFzy
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Max closed the door behind us as we walked into the renovated garage. I took small steps towards the bed and sat down; my chest aching.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSZqpZ5T9M
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHRiuk6443
“Did he…” I breathed “Did he really left?” I frowned looking at Max for the first time.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7WLcXrJFF
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7Uf9SE2rp
“Fuck,” he mumbled and leaned against the door “You didn’t know. He said everything’s okay,” Max frowned.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8XkOenfoG
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7B5BynBkE
“When did he say that?” I asked; my voice fainted.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6LyEanw5D
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdAiCjAwiU
“He woke me up this morning,” Max breathed and took a step from the door “And said he’s leaving. I asked where he’s going because I got confused because I knew he went into the office this morning and he said that he got a call from a friend and that he’s meeting his old buddies in Rome before going up to Tuscany,” Max explained like he knew I needed to hear the story one more time.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLLZtXp51W
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RvRt5PFQH
He walked towards me as he spoke again “I followed him to the door and I asked if you knew about this,” he said and finally sat down beside me. I swallowed. “He said “everything’s okay kid”, hugged me, hugged Cleo and left,” he breathed.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvNpaTVbCG
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnlqtIYs80
I couldn’t speak. Everything was fine last night. He was excited that I was finally coming back home. What could possibly change overnight? Or if nothing changed, and everything was okay why he left without calling or texting? Or at least answering his phone?397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItO2n32JcR
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFJEoPkXFA
“I…” I stuttered “We spoke last night…” I breathed. “I don’t understand,” I whispered and pulled back on the bed, pulling my legs against my chest. Max turned towards me and put his hand on my ankle; stroking my skin with his thumb.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqe5RSrIb7M
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCqNz9y1NF
“I’ll talk to him. He’ll call sooner or later,” he said.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajIb6L3wGB
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIPkJD51YR
“No, no,” I rapidly shook my head.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiIu0DEBTC
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“Why not?” Max frowned.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEqrWDpCHp
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“Don’t get involved please,” I shook my head again but slowly this time.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkgdX39mfO
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“I wanna know too,” he blinked.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsazgn2qWM
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“Please don’t. For the past two months I’ve been trying to keep this casual, like I wasn’t dating your brother. You getting involved will cancel all that out,” I explained.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdi2Q04OSle
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAA1Ki3QrRD
The truth was that I was afraid. I didn’t want him to feel pressure about anything. If his brother got involved he would probably feel pressured and that would pushed him further away from me. If it was possible to be further apart.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡon72q7qTPK
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[+++]397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOfWPNA4tK
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I should have left. I should have taken the chance to go away for university. Then none of this would have happened. Even if I have taken up on Alex’s offer. I wouldn’t have stayed and Alex wouldn’t have broken my heart and most importantly I wouldn’t be around to fall in love with Damien once again.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pRlMjxSUP
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6T89Rk9svP
It hurt so badly. What I was feeling now was nothing compared to how I felt when Alex cheated or when we broke up. My heart was shuttered into a million little pieces inside my chest and everytime I had a thought of him it was like those little pieces cut through my flesh; burning my insides and killing me even more in the process.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdaSSYGhIM
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4lbx5Ju54
I even made my mother cry when she came to check on me that day. And it hurt more. I was avoiding the mirrors because I didn’t want to see how I looked like. The way I felt was enough.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOP6E9oLQTl
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKsVTF9AZg
There were moments that I couldn’t understand why he would leave like this. Moments that I was going insane, running our last conversations over and over and over again into my mind trying to find what went wrong. And I would pick up the phone and dial his number.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQ2irHYAwE
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbXBciKVOL
He never answered; even if the phone was now working, two days after he left. And why would he? We didn’t belong together. I wasn’t enough. Why would he stay with me? It was a miracle we even had those two months together. I should be happy I had those two months. I should be happy I got to taste his bittersweet lips, stare into his mesmerizing grey eyes. Deep down I was glad I never got to tell him how I really felt because he would probably laugh.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAC3MQIeVg0
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XtVnymIaG
But what about all those times he held me into his arms and stared into my eyes? The times when he wanted me to say I was his. Why would he do that if he never cared? Or when he assured me that he would never cheat on me. Why would he do that? He knew I hated big words. He knew I hated promises and yet he would say those things.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tSrdfsTf7
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCViMkv5iQz
Every time the phone rang my heart fluttered. But it was never him and the soft pain in my chest returned again. Max was calling regularly to check on me; trying to get me out of the house. Cleo had texted me, asking if I was okay but I wasn’t ready for her or the outside world yet.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwCLtjtLud
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpY2loXMgyD
Only the third day I got up from the bed and opened my laptop, trying to slowly have a connection with the outside world. Yesterday and the day before that my mother came home from work to cook and bring me food; that only made me feel more pathetic but I never argued.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7SEYvV29x
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GF4n8kkva
After I was done eating and I was ready to sit on the couch and ignore the world around me, including my examinations, my phone rang. My heart fluttered but fell when I saw that it wasn’t him. It was Alex. I had completely forgotten about him.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFITXNIGbQ
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIoHPWQQ5Y
“Hello,” I answered; my voice completely lifeless.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7YhFHzCTn
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC32PuOGO88
“Hello,” he said slowly and I could hear the frown on his features “Are you okay?” he asked, sounding anxious. I breathed sharply.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUO5cjoPozh
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2eqgceuvz
“Yes,” I lied automatically.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOkgTPnvPG
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtu3uLHBSS
“I thought that by now you’d know better than to lie to me, love,” he said softly.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4kEjSkmnX
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUfB9VPZyN
“I’m not in the mood Alex,” I replied; the impatience coloring my voice.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVf6LArtjT
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91u7Qtl5F5
“I’m coming to pick you up,” he said but by the time I refused he had already hung up the phone.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGdryyY09c
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lSosm3QRI
He arrived sooner than expected; right when I was done getting ready. Not that I made an effort. I just put on a pair of jeans and a simple black top. Thankfully it was daytime and I could hide my red puffy eyes under my black sunglasses.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpMXZOyOhQ
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9S4Z6wqXdn
I greeted him heartlessly as I sat beside him in the black Aston Martin. He breathed a greeting back and never spoke again until we were at the mansion.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfaDl1UOtE
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfDKlpiZsf
“When did you arrived?” I asked as we got out of the car.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrJ5WT8j1y
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoBWFLMzo2
“This morning,” he replied as he walked beside me towards the double doors of the entrance. “How did you know?” he smiled.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1D3EQqZhGJ
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4vtuRJI22
“You came too fast,” I made an attempt to smile but failed. Smiling felt strange. He looked at me for a moment and then turned around, opening the door and walked inside.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUf47aR01r
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CQy4w2Uxj
I never thought that I could talk to Alex so freely about what I felt. Maybe it was because when we were together it was the only thing I never wanted to do. But I didn’t care anymore. I knew he wouldn’t judge me for having feelings for Damien.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2322nSUF4g
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaRXTXOeQZ
When, at some point, I burst into tears he pulled me into his arms and held me there. And as he kept me I realized that maybe I shouldn’t have talk to him at all. Three days ago our positions were reversed, maybe it was selfish talking to him; after all he had his own problems to deal with. I pulled back and wiped the tears from my eyes.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoofahDjZmw
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLrqqFPuRu
“Are you okay?” he asked softly.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIn4cmQV7e
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoJSaclZqf
“I’m better, thank you,” I swallowed and pushed my fist against my chest, trying to ease the pain. “How are you?” I looked at him, trying to keep my mind occupied. I saw him looking at my hand that was against my chest before looking at my eyes.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLVuOEGAAJ
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcEV08438S
“I’m better too,” he smiled.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkk6MzfMTd
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“Have you gone to the cemetery?” I asked. He turned forward and looked at the floor, brushing his face with his fingers.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwOu8fBHRu
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“No.”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2mp4KcsuU
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfz5juFrCD
“We’re gonna go together,” I told him “I’ll be there with you,” I assured him. He breathed and nodded. “What about your father? Have you talked to him?”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUkNzq15dA
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOmohwLx57
“No,” he said his expression hardening “My father and I don’t talk.”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq14nqDY7Bd
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsyUftm5Iq
“Well, he’ll notice when you’re better and everything will be okay,” I told him and took his hand in mine. He turned towards me and looked at me; his brown eyes liquid.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyVY1OLcaD
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTNoM2OoIr
“I admire you for being able to do that,” he mumbled.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VTdj0YmyQ
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“Do what?” I blinked.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwHOK2EfDc
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“Be so strong.”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXK4EWJL8u
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeawSQfPcG
“There’s no strength left in me,” I whispered, shaking my head lightly and looked at the floor.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieq8c9jACP
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNDAVaeZq8
“Hey,” he said and searched for my eyes. I turned to look at him before he spoke again. “You’ll get over this,” he said sounding confident.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJNGfVnce0
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“I can’t,” I winced and my tears betrayed me once again. I turned my head away from him and tried to wipe the tears away.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyb4G0SpSK8
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“Come here,” I heard him saying right before he pulled me to his arms again. He put his palm against the side of my head as my cheek was laying against his collar bone. “Calm down,” he whispered and a déjà vu hit me; Damien holding me as I was crying over Alex. I pulled away abruptly from him as my breathing fastened and the pain in my chest hardened.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPA5hyORVNM
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“I’m sorry,” I breathed. Alex looked at me shocked.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfjWcGU6ZC
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“What?” he asked confused “About what?” he frowned and I got up.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EuH5lJe7M
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“It’s my fault. Everything’s my fault,” I mumbled as the air filled my lungs quickly; my chest going up and down rapidly. “Four months ago he was the one holding me,” I begun talking quickly and started hyperventilating “As I was crying over you. Now it’s happening again but in reverse. It’s me. I keep doing this,” I rambled, tears oozing from eyes.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPTNv6r2Cq
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I was doing this. Alex was never the right guy for me and maybe neither was Damien. Maybe that’s why it hurt so bad, because I wanted him to be that guy so bad. My chest was going up and down quickly and aching. I didn’t noticed Alex moving, until he was standing in front of me.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8u21gqa3YP
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“Erica, calm down,” he said, putting his palms against my cheeks and looking at me. I bit my bottom lip trying to calm down with no success. Everything was great before he kissed me that day in the swimming pool for the first time. Why would he do that? I was fine before. I was fine just imagining that kiss, imagining him looking into my eyes with care. I was fine before.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPn1uLb6Sg0
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But I was glad I lived it. Grateful that I was free to caress his beautiful face and that I saw the way he looked and smelled after sex. I was thankful even if now my insides were aching and burning like a demon’s flesh that’s being touched by holy water. I breathed out a whimper and put my palm against the center of my chest.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JjKsRr6o3
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“It’s the same thing isn’t?” he asked; looking at me. I just stared at him. “Let’s go,” he said and grabbed my hand.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzQYDwPSee
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“Where?” I asked breathlessly.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO1ksGOliT
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“To the hospital,” he said; his voice colored with his intimidating tone.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4x39WMEAQh
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The ride towards the hospital helped a little bit, mostly because Alex had my window wide open. If I cared the slightest about myself at that point, I would be worried about getting pneumonia.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzYQuZsPST
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At some point I heard him talking on the phone to one or two people but I didn’t pay attention. I was just glad that he didn’t know the twins or my parent’s number. Or at least I hoped he didn’t. I was too lost in my trance to worry about that. My mind was spinning and I had lain back enjoying the ride.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCDvWQMPbs
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Only when we walked into the Emergency Room I became aware of what was really happening. The pain in my chest wasn’t so bad anymore but I still felt something. Maybe it was my heart that was ripped out.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPnTRQHkKj
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I guessed that the phone calls that Alex made as he drove me to the hospital were to a doctor because we didn’t have to wait at all. A doctor led the way towards one of the beds and told me to sit down. When he asked how I felt I was very tempted to say that it felt like I was hit by a truck but I thought it would be better to avoid my bitter humor.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NHfMLzO16
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“Does it still hurt?” he asked as he took my pressure. Alex was standing on the end of the bed, his one arm against his chest and the other over it as his fingers were tracing his mouth; the whole time staring at me.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzjXmo2AFg
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“No,” I replied “But it tickles,” I frowned not sure if that was the right word to describe the feeling.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX15yoMbQSy
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“Mr. White, can you please pull the curtains close?” he asked Alex and then turned towards me. “Lift your shirt please, I need to listen to your heart,” he told me. I nodded not even thinking that Alex was there.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdvTm9271H
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“Do you want me to …” Alex told me, pointing outside. I shook my head politely. It wasn’t like he would see anything he hasn’t seen before. That thought brought a scoff to my lips that I chocked as the doctor place the stethoscope to my chest and then my heart rate increased again.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOE9i0Nqok
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“Take another deep breath please,” he told me and I noticed a light frown. My sight blurred for a moment but then I controlled myself and did what the doctor asked. “Okay, turn around,” he asked and I turned towards Alex; my top still upwards. I blinked to control the tears and gave a weak smile to Alex. “Okay,” the doctor exhaled and removed the stethoscope. I pulled down my top and turned towards him again.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXDEWG1f07
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“You just had an anxiety attack,” he looked at me.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUCOvmNzFG
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“But I’m not anxious about anything,” I frowned. I didn’t give damn about my classes at this point.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMDF7Jy5Jr
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“From your symptoms, pounding heart, shortness of breath, hyperventilation and insomnia I can come up with one answer and that is anxiety attack,” he begun. “But I can say that grieving can also be a cause. Grieving is a powerful emotion that can have physical effects on our autonomic system and can even cause arrhythmias or bursting of weakened blood vessels,” the doctor explained. I wasn’t surprised he thought of “grief”; my red eyes were one of my symptoms.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuNGl9CAeP
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“Oh,” was all I managed to say. “What can I do?” I asked.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktQDBhUH6c
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“Because this have happened again in the past, I’m going to prescribe something to just calm you down,” he said.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77gSQV7b3T
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“Anti-depression drugs?” Alex asked.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZDvmL2gvl
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“What?” I frowned “No,” I turned towards the doctor as I realized what drugs he meant. “I have my exams to study for,”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lKQzago2C
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“Alright, take one before you go to sleep for two nights in the row. It will help you sleep and rest. Then take them if you start having any symptoms again, okay?” the doctor smiled and wrote something on a paper and left it. “Though I don’t think it will happen again soon.”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNSwC7MDXR
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“Thank you Dr. Wallace,” Alex said as I nodded. The doctor smiled at him and shook his hand before leaving us alone. I exhaled deeply and got up from the bed. Alex walked next to me, his hand on the back of my waist as we exited the hospital.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdIk8fCUwv
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“That was interesting,” I smiled as approached the car. “Many people have been dumped before but how many were they diagnosed?” I laughed.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhgV5XtHHx
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“I need to know that you’ll be okay,” Alex told me as he sat opened the passengers door for me.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyEotrO9bt
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“I’ll try,” I mumbled.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2AEa9Zdqo
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The next two days I did sleep well thanks to the drugs the doctor gave me but the third night was as the same as the first night I learned Damien left. I tossed and turned, curling up into a ball. I tried to avoid taking a pill again because I’ve heard that you can get addicted to anti-depressing’s.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2x6uzDW41b
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I wanted to hear his voice so bad; to hear that everything was okay. And I made the mistake to pick up my phone and call him; because this time he picked up. My heart almost exploded.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxkSl6Yf7g
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“What?” he asked so abruptly that made my heart shutter into a million pieces.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4dE5NXpcn
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“Hi,” I breathed.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwXXrDklbc
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“What the hell Erica?” he asked. I never thought it would hurt this bad to hear him calling my name “It’s four o’clock in the morning!” he replied; his tone cold and distant.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SHq013tV8
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“I’m sorry,” I whispered “I just needed to hear your voice,” I swallowed hard.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQzEI1PiKu
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“So what?”he breathed out. He sounded like he was struggling too but it still hurt so badly. Tears filled my eyes and I hung up the phone before throwing it at the end of the bed. I wasn’t ready for this. I fell against my pillow, covering my face and smothered the sound of my sobs.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBejvEken9T
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And that’s when it happened again; the pounding pain returned to my chest. I sat up trying to calm down and looked at my phone, thought of calling Alex but I didn’t want to wake him up. So I stood up and walked into the shower. But again, tears came out of nowhere. I couldn’t calm myself down. I wrapped my towel around my body, between sobs, and walked into the room again.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gwuNV0EOF
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“Yes?” Alex answered his phone sleepily.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeK9g2V4HHB
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“I’m sorry,” I said softly “I…” I trailed. And that’s when Alex must have realized it was me on the phone.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUue71mZJa
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“Are you okay?” he asked anxiously.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJo6TqwPJK1
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“I don’t know,” I whispered but my breathing was still quick.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAcEiiRSyy
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“It happened again?”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4gKeANbH9
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“Yes,” I breathed.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvGOvRpoJ7
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“Get dressed.” He said and hung up the phone; not even giving me the chance to argue with him.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkznqF4KSD
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This time the doctor that examined me thought it was best to keep me in. He said that it was suspicious for a girl my age to get those episodes so regularly. I tried to delay notifying my mother as much as possible as I didn’t want to scare her. I was lying in a bed, with stickers against my chest and my heart beat was beeping through a machine for the entire room to hear.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXClXgjMmx
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“You need to call your mother,” Alex said from the foot of the bed. I studied him for a moment and noticed that I never saw him dressed so casual and I frowned.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKkO2GlWvX
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“You’re not wearing a button up shirt,” I stated. He chuckled and shook his head.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeB05VKCGni
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“Yeah, sorry,” he smiled “I didn’t have time for a formal outfit,” he mocked.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMCIWwBviK
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“Thank you for coming,” I smiled at him. He looked at me for a moment and then sat down at the end of the bed; exhaling deeply.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtZZOytLwz
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“Three days ago, when you’re having that episode, you said something,” he begun “You said that you keep doing this to yourself,” he said. I felt uncomfortable and the beeping sound on the machine picked up. He looked at the machine for a second and then took my hand in his. I swallowed waiting to hear what he would say next. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time,” he sighed.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpl4hCXVMcR
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“What? You’ve lost me,” I frowned.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkG7Pas7or
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“If we haven’t met that night, you wouldn’t be in here now,” he explained but I was still lost.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qJUZjovMg
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“Alex, what are you talking about?”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FOAnoPT6l
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“I’ve been thinking about this since that night at the club you had the first episode,” he explained and that’s when I realized what he was talking about. That night when we were out together after the second time we got together. I couldn’t breathe inside the club and accidentally told him this was happening often since he left.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWjAVVb3g7
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“Oh my God,” I frowned “This isn’t your fault,” I breathed and tried to sit up.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQRD5vdycT
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“Stay down,” he said and stopped me from getting up “This is my fault. I damaged you so badly and he…” he trailed. The thought of Damien brought a sharp pain into my chest that made me ignore what he said.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDiCjBQfbm
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“He broke me,” I smiled a humorless smile; the machine giving me in. Alex looked towards it and stood up.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BQMDSnysY
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“Damn it, I shouldn’t have brought this up now,” he frowned. “Here,” he said and gave me my phone “Call your mother. It’s seven a.m.”397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rYO2anoSk
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I looked at him and sighed. It was best to hear it from me that I was in the hospital; to see that it wasn’t anything serious. Or at least I hoped it wasn’t.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNuDo53mTb
♠ ♠ ♠
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Conjure One - Tears From the Moon397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIecHFuEeHF
