It’s been two weeks since the renovation begun. Isolation has been installed on the walls, the bathroom is ready and right now I’m supervising the lime green kitchen counters being installed. Not a big deal as I only got four cupboards.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYq1i6jmiL
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Apart from Cleo and Max, Damien and I spend a lot of time together those two weeks. We even decided to take the trip to Italy soon after the renovation is done. He gave me the space I needed though; not trying anything as to kiss me again. I did catch him staring a couple of times; making my heart tremble, but Alex never left my mind.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNajfJ4lVHO
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I was starting to feel like I had a ghost. I felt him with me everywhere I went. I felt him holding me every time I tried to convince myself to feel better. I couldn’t believe that such a short period of time with someone would grow such a big addiction.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IVvN4mXWQ
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The kitchen was done and the workers had left me alone in the empty renovated garage. I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe. I tried to catch my breath only to start hyperventilate; my heart pounding against my chest.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCce6NrAKg
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I sat down next to my new kitchen counter and put my head between my legs. My sight blurred from the tears and felt revealed as the ache from my chest was leaving me. I suddenly couldn’t breathe. I inhaled and exhaled but no air filled my lungs. I panicked for a moment but then I sat up, and begun breathing slowly and steady.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsi6H1chtT
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I was trying to calm myself down when I felt someone next to me; startling me. I opened my eyes and saw Damien. I wiped away my tears with the back of my palm and looked down; a sob leaving my lips. He reached out and pulled me into his arms; holding me tight.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4q7uNs2IP6
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“Come on ladybug. Calm down,” he whispered into my ear. I curled up into his arms tried to calm down. I felt safe.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOjipbfb5l
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I didn’t want for Damien to see me like this; not knowing that not so long ago I used to cry over him. Crying for not being able to show him what I felt.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHBNke0Huw
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I slightly pulled back gazing at the floor. Damien whipped the moisture from my eyes softly. I closed my eyes, enjoying his touch and calming down. Until I felt his lips hitting mine. A sigh left my lips and as I opened them to breath; the kiss turning more fierce.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzsI2Z8S63
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My mind went blank and I just kissed him back; tasting my tears. When reality hit me, I pulled back; covering my lips with my fingers.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl19ShS3WZQ
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“I shouldn’t...” I murmured to myself. I shouldn’t have kissed him back. It wasn’t fair.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNeCoENfgt
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“I'm sorry,” he whispered “I'm really sorry,” and shifted so that he had his back on the counter.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Of8ujx3hM
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“Maybe we should postpone the trip,” I suggested. I wasn’t over Alex and this wasn’t the way I wanted for things with Damien to start. He wasn’t just a rebound guy for me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrXmXiDMbS
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“As you wish,” he said and I could hear the disappointment in his voice.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvw8GWygGUF
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“This,” I began searching for words “This can’t happen now,” I murmured.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtqYa6kSLl
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“I know,” he nodded and a moment later he started walking towards the door.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAS7WpsDUV
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The only thing left to do was moving my stuff from my room to the garage and buy or steal some stuff from my mother’s kitchen.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ576BJ8Mbjl
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Cleo and Lexie came with me to IKEA to buy random things for the decoration. Max, Mike and Damien helped with the boxes and my bed. I was surprised that Damien showed up that day. I didn’t expect him to do so after the second kiss we shared.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRInp7vyZs8
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I was with the girls in the garage, unpacking my stuff and listening to RnB while dancing. For the first time in a long time I was actually enjoying myself. But I guess fate didn’t want me to. The girls were frozen at the sight of someone behind me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4Enc4Jlao
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“What?” I asked confused. Cleo fidgeted her way to the radio and killed the music. That wasn’t good. I slowly turned around and froze there; forgetting even to breath as my heart skipped a beat.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwFl7IrvLE
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“Call me,” Cleo called and hurried with Lexie to the door. I shook my head, recovering, and waved at her.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGt55fXEn0
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“Hello,” I manage to say, not even bothering to smile. Alex was standing in front of me wearing an expensive black suit looking gorgeous as always; his hands in his pockets.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6ZUp0IRJS
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“Hello,” he said; his tone soft. He, unlike me, smiled slightly “Like what you’ve done with the place,” he said looking around “Damien helped?”501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Z7GIzq7Rn
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“Thank you. Yes he did,” I replied smiling awkwardly. He turned his eyes on me and I looked away quickly.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cDrsEhRbK
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“I missed your smile,” he said and I felt like I was suffocating.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggfxE5IDMk
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“Why are you here?” I snapped.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZq1OUZQEh3
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“I just wanted to see you.” I think I heard a cocky tone on his voice; that only bothered me more.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixToEHwk1q
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“It’s been three weeks Alex.” My voice cold.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAL0Ll65cv
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“I’ve missed you,” he replied and I turned around, walked to the fridge grabbing a soda. I felt like crying. Now he remembered that he missed me? I put the soda on the kitchen counter and opened it; my back to him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DHMaqV9qS
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“It hurts,” I mumbled and rested my hands on the counter-top “I can’t. Leave, please,” my voice cracking. I heard him walking up to me; I could smell the familiar cologne. I turned around and faced him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdKMLqupVl
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“Come over tonight. We’ll have a drink and talk,” he almost sounded pleading.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hInSsQrrP
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“What’s there to say?” I asked and got away from him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxJ3b3kKfA
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“I want to explain why,” he said, not moving from where I’ve left him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1AGjI21DM
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“I don’t know,” I mumbled. I wanted to go but I was scared.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoRhW2AemN
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“I’ll be waiting for you at eight,” he said sounding confident. I’ve almost miss his arrogant attitude. He came close and before I could move away, he leaned down and kissed my cheek; my heart imploding.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EtKiS2zHz
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He walked to the door, not taking a glance behind him and closed it as he stepped outside. I was left alone trying to take in what just happened.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOABQHaEEKi
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It’s 7:45 and I’m sitting on my couch. I’ve showered, fixed my hair but instead of getting dressed I sat there with my towel wrapped around my body; doing absolutely nothing.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaY0gE3g8nD
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I haven’t decided on whether I would go meet him or not. I grabbed my phone from the coffee table and pressed number 3 on speed-dial.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwptHRyFBzm
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“Hey. Dressed yet?” Cleo asked.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2prZkZE9C
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“I don’t know what to do,” I sighed.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwU8tIClpR
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“Get dressed. Be fabulous and sexy and go,” she said “If you’re feeling uncomfortable or don’t like what he has to say all you have to do is leave.” I thought about it for a moment and agreed as it sounded reasonable enough.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iJ3lOJ3Gb
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“Call me,” she said and I could hear the smile in her voice.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEDvs84GtA
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I got up and walked to my closet. Tonight I would be as fabulous as ever. I always thought that we looked weird together; him wearing always formal pants and shirts while I was looking like a girl that was forgotten behind by the seventies. So tonight, I wanted to feel like an equal. I wore my skinny jeans with a red loose top and my favorite black long vest. I did my makeup, wore my black peep toe heels, grabbed my little black bag and got into my ’69 purple beetle.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0Is7Q13ye
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I knocked on his door at 8:20. I waited for Morris, his butler, to come to the door but not tonight; tonight he appeared at the door. He was wearing black pants and a gray shirt, leaving two buttons opened –unlike usual as he always wears a tie-.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzPGkNEBpW
My heart fluttered as our eyes met. He looked so handsome.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1k6vH9I5EP
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“Welcome,” he smiled and took a step back so I could walk in.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMTunx8waA
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“Hello,” I smiled back and walked passed him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxrSw6LDa9
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“Let’s go to the bar,” he said putting one hand lightly on my waist while he motioned towards the dining room with the other.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiT3JuHllZ
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We walked into the dining room, where we had lunch the first time I came to his house and to the double doors on the opposite wall from where we came in. It was a room I never saw before; painted in a dark shade of blue with a pool table on the right, next to the wide windows. On the left there was a corner couch facing the room and at the far end the bar he was referring to.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7ZXj6jwz4
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He walked straight behind the bar counter. I stayed on the other side; sitting on one of the stools.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlui8SrzfAQ
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“Beer I assume?” he asked.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5smXOSgHL
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“Old habits die hard,” I smiled; habits like drinking beer; partying; sleeping around.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcBpF8maDg
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“Not always,” he said softly and I almost rolled my eyes at his comment. He opened a beer bottle and poured vodka into his glass, took both our drinks and rounded the bar.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡantkfqHZfX
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I slightly turned my stool to the side so I could face him as he sat on the stool beside me, giving me my bottle. I left my bag on the counter and took a sip of my beer, looking away from him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFtWoiHcrN
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“You’re very beautiful tonight,” he said and I could feel his eyes on me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJima5yZf4
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“Why did you come back?” I said impatiently. I couldn’t sit here and make small talk with him while his mere presence makes my heart ache. He sighed in response.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElhX2MVERK
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“I’ve missed you,” he said. If it wasn’t for his arrogant tone it would be very nice thing to hear.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAU0sTJxpSQ
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“So?” my voice flat. His arrogance was one of the things that irritated and attracted me at the same time.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNVDJWi2RT
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“What do you mean?” he asked confused “I wanted to see you again, that’s why. I wanted to see how you were.”501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEf0AxqDSoe
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I took a big sip from my beer and got up from the stool; walked a few steps, thinking.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3BDagasnE
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“Let me get this right,” I paused “We spend a great weekend together –where obviously I misapprehended several things,” I said quickly but then decreased my tone “Then you ignore me for a week,” I paused “Cheat on me,” I paused once more thinking this over “Eventually leave town without a word,” I said raising an eyebrow “And you’re showing up at my door after a month because you felt like seeing me again?” I demanded.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYjExj5Zr0
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“You broke up with me,” he mattered almost defeated. But his accusation was over the top. He ripped my heart out and put the blame on me for breaking up with him?501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM23jFZvjHL
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“You’re so arrogant,” I spit “You can’t always have what you want,” I said bitterly and grabbed my bag from the counter. He came back expecting what? Me, waiting for him with open arms as if nothing happened? He put his hand on my wrist to stop me from walking away.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgHRNS47xw
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“Erica, wait...Please,” he said in a low voice.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPC4nMh3c0G
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“Why?” I asked and turned to look at him “You wanted to see me. Here I am,” I waved my hands around me “Wanted to know how I am? I’m fucking fabulous, love,” I said sarcastically glaring at him; a bitter smile on my lips.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgkazbpftm
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“When did you get so cold?” he asked. His question surprised me. I thought he would speak another arrogant thought.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpilQkHr96
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“I had a great teacher,” I breathed. He put his glass on the counter and got up. I just stared at him. He walked up to me, my heart pounding inside my chest, cupped my face and leaned down to touch his lips onto mine. I didn’t have time to move; so I just didn’t kiss him back. He pulled away only to rest his forehead against mine.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aIMYvhRIT
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“I know you still want me,” he whispered as his thumbs were stroking my cheeks. He kissed me again. I was about to kiss him back but I pushed him away. He looked at me and I could see in his eyes that he knew I wanted him still.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSaKM5tiPV
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“You’re so arrogant,” I whispered breathing heavily; fighting the urge to kiss him. He smirked and pulled me to him; cupping my face and forcing his lips on mine. My hands against his chest; my breath came into a gasp and my fingers tighten around the expensive fabric of his shirt.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jCYowuGJG
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This time I kissed him back eagerly. I relaxed as I felt his tongue brushing mine; his familiar taste in my mouth again. My hands traveled upwards, around his neck; my fingers mingled in his blond hair. My heart was going to explode and tears run down my cheeks. He must have noticed because he pulled away, only to rest his forehead against mine; looking at me.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8T7rlzCBX
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“Are you okay?”501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFkgknW5LQ
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“Why you left?” I asked lowering my eyes, trying to catch my breath.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEz5IgtKY9d
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“You left me” he said quietly.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtF9mfi0CF
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“Oh my God, Alex,” I exclaimed impatiently; pushing away from him. This man knew how to push me to my limits and drive me insane. “You left without a word Alex,” I exclaimed “I’ve read it in the newspapers!” I was boiling now. I could feel my heartbeat increasing again “Have you got any idea what it felt like? How much it all hurt and still is?” I breathed; tears oozing from my eyes.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgYFf1QVMN
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“I wouldn’t have left if I knew you felt so much,” he said and pulled me back to him “You made me fall in love with you,” he admitted whispering “That’s why I cheated. That’s why I let you broke up with me and that’s why I left.”501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytGeiZfOGF
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I was looking at him not knowing what to do. He came back as I wanted and he was finally letting me know how he felt. But was I strong enough to take him back? I was scared. What if he cheated again or what if he got bored? Logic was screaming for me to walk out that door and keep my heart away from him. But all my heart wanted right now, was to hold him and touch him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4hWicSqPs
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I took a deep breath and walked back to him. I put my palm against his cheek and stroked his beautiful lips with my thumb; a small smile appearing on my lips. It was all he needed to see. He leaned down and kissed me again. He slowly brushed my tongue with his but quickly his kiss turned more passionate.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8haBtH0Qj
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“Let’s go to my room,” he breathed against my lips.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4gxZBznYm
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He took my hand and led the way upstairs and to another room I never saw before. He opened the door and waited for me to get inside first. I walked in but only took a glimpse of the room for as soon as he closed the door he hugged me from behind, planting soft kisses on my neck.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CqBLjyNxM
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I turned around and pushed him towards the bed; making him seat on the edge as I stood between his legs. He smiled and put his hands on my hips as I unbutton the rest of the button of his shirt. I threw my waistcoat and my belt on the floor and leaned down to kiss him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4rAuDR2ST
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He took off my top and unbuttoned my jeans, letting them fall to the floor. I knelt down between his legs and kissed his lips while unbuttoning his pants and then trailed down to his neck and chest. As I reached the waistband of his boxers he leaned back, resting his palms on the mattress and looking at me with lust.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQSyUVCa0R
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I licked my lips and pulled down his boxers. I bit my lip as he was already hard and took his length into my hand; sliding up and down. I looked at him once again and put it in my mouth. He leaned back, resting his palms against the mattress and tilting his head back as I slide my mouth and hand quickly on his length making him moan. I pulled away for a minute but kept my hand there; making smaller moves. I looked at him and licked the bold vane from the base of his shaft to the top. I cupped the head and licked it making him moan.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCdU0cTcYQ
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“Come on,” he breathed and pulled me on the bed. He pushed me slightly on my back and placed his hand between my legs; stroking my clit. He suddenly entered two fingers inside of me making me moan. He kept his fingers there; pushing them in and out while making circles on my clit with his tongue. I collected fistful of the sheets in my hands as he kept going. He licked and sucked the sensitive skin making me climax with loud moans.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0hM8p44KJ
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He took the time I needed to catch my breath and put on a condom. He came on top of me and begun kissing my lips softly. I pushed him back against the mattress and climbed on top of him. He smiled and helped me slid on his length; sitting down and letting him fill me slowly. He kept his hands on my waist and hips as I slid up and down more quickly every time.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLK6mDOUnxa
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Only moments later, emotions rushed through me as I was coming near the end. Butterflies erupted my stomach and I began hyperventilating as his grip on my hips tightened. But then the butterflies turned to something else; I felt the heartache again. My stomach flipped, my chest ached and I was on the verge of tears. As my walls shuddered around him, my jaw tightened and pushed his hands abruptly against the mattress; leaning on top of him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJ4PeS8Gvb
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He shivered beneath me and I let go of myself; arching my back and my feelings disappeared like redemption was brought by my orgasm. I rolled off of him and collapsed on the bed next to him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9dpp1JSzh
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I got up and walked to the bathroom; closing the door behind me. I was confused. I didn’t know if I wanted to give him another chance or not. I’ve missed him but I was scared that he would hurt me again.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTROFG3S5co
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“Erica?” I heard him call outside the door. I washed my hands and opened the door.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4I5rxQ5BBO
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“Hey,” I smiled.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOFkqW8sKY
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“You okay?” he asked as I stood in front of him and kissed his chest.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVy7SbDfAXo
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“Yes,” I lied. He leaned down and kissed my lips before leading me back to bed.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gVIJL8Xnk
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I woke up by the touch of his fingers stroking my naked back. I was lying on my side; his hand underneath my neck. I kept my eyes closed as he tangled his fingers softly in my hair. At first I felt happiness filling me but as became more conscious fear rushed through me again. I breathed deeply and half opened my eyes.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbFkCYtzRp
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“Good morning,” he whispered; kissing the spot underneath my ear. I let out a soft murmur, making it sound like «good morning» and got up from the bed, wore his shirt, buttoning one button only and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and my teeth and went back inside the room. The moment I entered the room, he did too, from the other side of the bed.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZQuf8Lbo4
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“What’s in there?” I asked curious.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2ObMOrsJE
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“A bathroom,” he smiled. I winced, raising an eyebrow and fell into the bed.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtaAPkVLIp
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“You’re going to ruin my shirt,” he said faking a serious look. I groaned. It was too early for small talk. He flipped me over and started kissing my neck slowly while his hands traveled down my body.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPlyHCncQ8
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“Today, you’re going to forget everything,” he paused to kiss me, and I didn’t know if he meant me attacking him last night or the confusion in my head “And make love to me,” –kissed me again- “Slowly and sweet.” I just smiled and let him have his way with me; at least I could enjoy him.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0scgp1TD7N
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I might have felt confused and scared about letting go and giving him another chance but while making love with him I was fully there and with him. When he collapsed on top of me, I wrapped my legs around his waist and kept him there until we caught our breaths.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElIbL8XS6a
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He rolled to the side and pulled me on to his chest; wrapping his arms around me. We lay there in silence for several moments before I begun panicking. What if I couldn’t leave now? What if I made the wrong decision?501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKZn4DngGY
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“You haven’t decided yet,” he muttered. I don’t know if it was meant to be a question, but he said it like stating a fact. I breathed trying to think of something to say but there’s nothing I could say at that moment. Because no matter what I said, it would have been a lie. I couldn’t tell him what I didn’t know.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdvPcvRU7H
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“I'm really sorry,” he whispered, his grip tightening around me. I guess my silence spoke for me. I sighed and kissed his skin. I wanted to say that I was scared and confused but I felt like my tears would beat me to it so I chose to stay silent yet again.501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhuM5zYZ9T
♠ ♠ ♠
Title Credit:501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vbH2HaAcW
This Is How It Feels by The Veronicas501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCL6OpZDbYi
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too many steamy chapters I know..but I wasn't writing this the same time as Just a fling so..forgive me:P501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmt8oUlxc4
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comments my lovely and fabulous readers and subscribers?? :)
