I woke up at eleven in the morning, had breakfast and left for home. The drive back was easier, mostly because I was so excited to see Damien after three days.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaAbxfdjSU
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I was planning on going home, do laundry and find Cleo. I wanted to try and talk to her one more time. We were best friends since we were babies, her opinion meant the world to me and I wanted to be clear about that; even if she haven’t contacted me at all since I left town.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLOHeN96u3
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As soon as I arrived I went towards my parents kitchen; not even bothering going into my garage.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqbHNOCpzT
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“Hello,” I greeted my mom as I entered the kitchen from the back door.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UbrzNbtRX
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“Welcome home baby,” mom replied “How are you?”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVPIUVfcKf
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“Fine, you?” I smiled and left my bag on the floor.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2YOopubqS
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“Got dirty clothes?”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oe9JJZqbv
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“Yup,” I grinned “Why aren’t you at the office?”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Fh0Dkcj0u
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“Have to visit a client in a bit,” she explained and narrowed her eyes when she noticed I was smiling at her. “Don’t look at me like that, do laundry yourself.”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuq951RBNZw
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“Fine,” I groaned and I retrieved my bag before walking towards her. I kissed her cheek as I passed her by and exited the kitchen. I turned right and entered the laundry room. I left the bag on the ground once again and took my mobile out of my back pocket. I dialed Damien’s number and put it on speaker phone. His phone was disconnected. I put the phone back into my pocket thinking he must be at work.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXXE8J1Glt
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After putting all my clothes into the washing machine I sat in the kitchen with my mom until she left for work. I tried calling Damien again and like earlier his phone was disconnected. I sat into my parent’s living room to watch some television, though I should probably be into my garage and try and study.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjEtVS2TZ8
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I dialed Max’s number and put the phone on speaker. It took three rings before he picked up.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrXh9imYIZ
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“Hey,” he breathed, sounding weird.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLpJq4WZgW
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“Hello to you too,” I frowned a little bit “Are you okay?” I asked referring to his weird greeting.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArJXwo8XGw
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“I’m okay, how are you?” he asked, still sounding weird.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbWqqGIEtR
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“Fine,” I replied “Where are you? I’m home!” I smiled. He didn’t reply for a moment.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlc7oEwpcl
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“Fuck,” he mumbled “Dude, I’m gonna have to call you back,” he said; the word rushing out of his mouth.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadixUpSe3B
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“Okay, don’t be late because I’m so bored!” I replied and hung up. I wanted to call Cleo but something stopped me. So I texted her instead. “I’m back home, if you want a coffee.” I remained on that couch until three o’clock in the afternoon when Max finally called me.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpT8w0J0Q3
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“Hey, “ he breathed “Offer still stands?” he asked.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCeKKIYwMm
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“Of course,” I replied “Come over!”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzjXKe7FuY
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Max turned up soon afterwards. He said Cleo was trying to finish a project that she working on since I left. She was trying to keep herself occupied as I understood.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZbkjfsEaX
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He told me she had a date with Mike two nights ago and that she looked very optimistic. It looked like Max was trying to avoid mentioning Damien, so I left it at that, doing the very same thing but not really understanding the reason.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyl7E0oBhjH
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About an hour later, that I still haven’t heard from Damien, my mom returned home. I refused to cook for myself because I was cooking the whole time I was living with James, so her arrival made me extra happy.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SVNWPaNeS
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I was sitting with Max in the kitchen sofa playing cards until the food was ready. Thankfully mom had prepared the meat and now I only had to wait half an hour until it was grilled. At some point I heard mom talking on the phone, telling someone to bring a soda for us. A while later Evita, the twin’s mother, walked through the kitchen door.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sfmIxEXkY
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“Hello guys,” she greeted us “Welcome Erica.”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyq4pR1RHU
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“Hello Aunt,” I smiled and got up to take the soda that she put on the kitchen counter. “How are you?” I smiled.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlehHD0YeA
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“Here,” my mom said at the same time and left some money on the counter.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡky06feHUM6
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“Don’t even think about it,” Evita replied to her. “I’m still trying to digest the fact that my baby left again,” she sighed.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sZDoS80Ho
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“Which baby left?” I frowned with a half smile as I walked towards the cupboard with the glasses. Max was here. Cleo was at home. That only left one person that could leave…405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznDxA7FeXN
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“Damien,” and a deep sigh escaped her chest the same time the realization hit me. My heart fell. I blinked; staring at the shelves. My chest started going up and down quickly as my heartbeat increased. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took one glass in my hands.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzm1mtAjGg6
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“Wasn’t he supposed to leave in two weeks?” I asked trying to sound as casual as possible. I took another glass out of the cupboard and opened up the soda bottle.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMA3hnVOfp
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“Yeah,” Evita said “But he said he got a call this morning at work from some friends and he’s meeting them in Rome before going in Tuscany,” she explained. I felt a strong pain in my chest as I tried to keep the tears back.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjGR6ABSQo
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“That’s nice,” I noted and put the soda into the fridge; never turning my head towards Evita or my mom. I wanted to keep my expression hidden because I didn’t even know how I looked like.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NXJOki3W8
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“You kids should go and visit, using those tickets he got you for your birthday,” she suggested as I was walking towards Max.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiYNzvjY4l
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“Maybe after their exams,” my mom spoke. I put the soda on the table in front of Max, never looking at him.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2RyT3aKMp
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“Yeah, after the exams,” I replied and sat down with my back towards the kitchen. I didn’t care if Max saw me crying, but I didn’t want Evita to see me. I took a deep breath and focused on my cards.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwQU4hSxiZ
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“Your turn,” I said to Max. He didn’t move for a moment.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpx13oNERp
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“Yeah,” he breathed after a while and put a card down. I sipped my soda and took a deep breath. I couldn’t stop staring at my phone. We haven’t even finished the game when I grabbed it from the table and dialed Damien’s number.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwFxeikTP9
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Nothing. His phone was disconnected. My breathing started to increase and I leaned forward, touching my elbows on my knees, as I tried to calm myself down. “Why would he leave like that? Things were fine last night” I was thinking over and over again.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiOr1oam9L
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My mom approached us then, holding two plates with grilled chicken and left them on the table. I thanked her, not really talking, and pulled the plate in front of me.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnjwLLSk6E
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Max closed the door behind us as we walked into the renovated garage. I took small steps towards the bed and sat down; my chest aching.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43WxjltFL7
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“Did he…” I breathed “Did he really left?” I frowned looking at Max for the first time.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQW3MGbjFx
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“Fuck,” he mumbled and leaned against the door “You didn’t know. He said everything’s okay,” Max frowned.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB50gJ9h7R
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“When did he say that?” I asked; my voice fainted.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqFv4Uibci
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“He woke me up this morning,” Max breathed and took a step from the door “And said he’s leaving. I asked where he’s going because I got confused because I knew he went into the office this morning and he said that he got a call from a friend and that he’s meeting his old buddies in Rome before going up to Tuscany,” Max explained like he knew I needed to hear the story one more time.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkq5WotrqB
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He walked towards me as he spoke again “I followed him to the door and I asked if you knew about this,” he said and finally sat down beside me. I swallowed. “He said “everything’s okay kid”, hugged me, hugged Cleo and left,” he breathed.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3BaTIfHDP
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I couldn’t speak. Everything was fine last night. He was excited that I was finally coming back home. What could possibly change overnight? Or if nothing changed, and everything was okay why he left without calling or texting? Or at least answering his phone?405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yePVeppRG
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“I…” I stuttered “We spoke last night…” I breathed. “I don’t understand,” I whispered and pulled back on the bed, pulling my legs against my chest. Max turned towards me and put his hand on my ankle; stroking my skin with his thumb.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMJuigi52x
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“I’ll talk to him. He’ll call sooner or later,” he said.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHEbdQElmb
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“No, no,” I rapidly shook my head.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsIRdpgl45
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“Why not?” Max frowned.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfydWqelrdB
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“Don’t get involved please,” I shook my head again but slowly this time.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4A34gdDlyu
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“I wanna know too,” he blinked.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphywKZDBhf
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“Please don’t. For the past two months I’ve been trying to keep this casual, like I wasn’t dating your brother. You getting involved will cancel all that out,” I explained.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArIzdddYKo
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The truth was that I was afraid. I didn’t want him to feel pressure about anything. If his brother got involved he would probably feel pressured and that would pushed him further away from me. If it was possible to be further apart.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQAWSHww7B
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I should have left. I should have taken the chance to go away for university. Then none of this would have happened. Even if I have taken up on Alex’s offer. I wouldn’t have stayed and Alex wouldn’t have broken my heart and most importantly I wouldn’t be around to fall in love with Damien once again.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjulHCSRaxz
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It hurt so badly. What I was feeling now was nothing compared to how I felt when Alex cheated or when we broke up. My heart was shuttered into a million little pieces inside my chest and everytime I had a thought of him it was like those little pieces cut through my flesh; burning my insides and killing me even more in the process.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpji1RIIbH7
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I even made my mother cry when she came to check on me that day. And it hurt more. I was avoiding the mirrors because I didn’t want to see how I looked like. The way I felt was enough.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftnjJSSIu5
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There were moments that I couldn’t understand why he would leave like this. Moments that I was going insane, running our last conversations over and over and over again into my mind trying to find what went wrong. And I would pick up the phone and dial his number.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lwJv600ed
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He never answered; even if the phone was now working, two days after he left. And why would he? We didn’t belong together. I wasn’t enough. Why would he stay with me? It was a miracle we even had those two months together. I should be happy I had those two months. I should be happy I got to taste his bittersweet lips, stare into his mesmerizing grey eyes. Deep down I was glad I never got to tell him how I really felt because he would probably laugh.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFKPh9Q3Cx
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But what about all those times he held me into his arms and stared into my eyes? The times when he wanted me to say I was his. Why would he do that if he never cared? Or when he assured me that he would never cheat on me. Why would he do that? He knew I hated big words. He knew I hated promises and yet he would say those things.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGI212pWErx
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Every time the phone rang my heart fluttered. But it was never him and the soft pain in my chest returned again. Max was calling regularly to check on me; trying to get me out of the house. Cleo had texted me, asking if I was okay but I wasn’t ready for her or the outside world yet.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pkoGQ2TVC
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Only the third day I got up from the bed and opened my laptop, trying to slowly have a connection with the outside world. Yesterday and the day before that my mother came home from work to cook and bring me food; that only made me feel more pathetic but I never argued.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTa29zDIjx
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After I was done eating and I was ready to sit on the couch and ignore the world around me, including my examinations, my phone rang. My heart fluttered but fell when I saw that it wasn’t him. It was Alex. I had completely forgotten about him.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWGkoItOA8
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“Hello,” I answered; my voice completely lifeless.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9atetYWrXR
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“Hello,” he said slowly and I could hear the frown on his features “Are you okay?” he asked, sounding anxious. I breathed sharply.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6NqI0Fxqx
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“Yes,” I lied automatically.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZPSWlnFgn
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“I thought that by now you’d know better than to lie to me, love,” he said softly.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFOvNM9tjV
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“I’m not in the mood Alex,” I replied; the impatience coloring my voice.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1Xsw7MYMX
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“I’m coming to pick you up,” he said but by the time I refused he had already hung up the phone.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXGqIb7DOn
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He arrived sooner than expected; right when I was done getting ready. Not that I made an effort. I just put on a pair of jeans and a simple black top. Thankfully it was daytime and I could hide my red puffy eyes under my black sunglasses.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBOgy1ZGx0
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I greeted him heartlessly as I sat beside him in the black Aston Martin. He breathed a greeting back and never spoke again until we were at the mansion.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfz6Sqy2iN
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“When did you arrived?” I asked as we got out of the car.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrDEDfaOCW
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“This morning,” he replied as he walked beside me towards the double doors of the entrance. “How did you know?” he smiled.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZYxgk0OGM
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“You came too fast,” I made an attempt to smile but failed. Smiling felt strange. He looked at me for a moment and then turned around, opening the door and walked inside.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuq90E3KdlI
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I never thought that I could talk to Alex so freely about what I felt. Maybe it was because when we were together it was the only thing I never wanted to do. But I didn’t care anymore. I knew he wouldn’t judge me for having feelings for Damien.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkt6z8ADRS1
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When, at some point, I burst into tears he pulled me into his arms and held me there. And as he kept me I realized that maybe I shouldn’t have talk to him at all. Three days ago our positions were reversed, maybe it was selfish talking to him; after all he had his own problems to deal with. I pulled back and wiped the tears from my eyes.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEK6HhXIxz
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“Are you okay?” he asked softly.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG70hq6Gxjl
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“I’m better, thank you,” I swallowed and pushed my fist against my chest, trying to ease the pain. “How are you?” I looked at him, trying to keep my mind occupied. I saw him looking at my hand that was against my chest before looking at my eyes.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUicwyyNtV9
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“I’m better too,” he smiled.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDttTjEKemx
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“Have you gone to the cemetery?” I asked. He turned forward and looked at the floor, brushing his face with his fingers.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbCASE0tPE
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“No.”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHDOXiX0lv
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“We’re gonna go together,” I told him “I’ll be there with you,” I assured him. He breathed and nodded. “What about your father? Have you talked to him?”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4t7mkYTLB
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“No,” he said his expression hardening “My father and I don’t talk.”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wNA3Eo0Dw
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“Well, he’ll notice when you’re better and everything will be okay,” I told him and took his hand in mine. He turned towards me and looked at me; his brown eyes liquid.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqYoIKmC8p
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“I admire you for being able to do that,” he mumbled.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡef91V4GuHO
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“Do what?” I blinked.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwAXnJpfQN
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“Be so strong.”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSPJ1v77HY
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“There’s no strength left in me,” I whispered, shaking my head lightly and looked at the floor.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfWht4E78u
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“Hey,” he said and searched for my eyes. I turned to look at him before he spoke again. “You’ll get over this,” he said sounding confident.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHy2yYNEkP
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“I can’t,” I winced and my tears betrayed me once again. I turned my head away from him and tried to wipe the tears away.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9qYLf0IGB
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“Come here,” I heard him saying right before he pulled me to his arms again. He put his palm against the side of my head as my cheek was laying against his collar bone. “Calm down,” he whispered and a déjà vu hit me; Damien holding me as I was crying over Alex. I pulled away abruptly from him as my breathing fastened and the pain in my chest hardened.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIeyBQcrbe
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“I’m sorry,” I breathed. Alex looked at me shocked.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStEkKBYbdG
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“What?” he asked confused “About what?” he frowned and I got up.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGClTLHPXZL
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“It’s my fault. Everything’s my fault,” I mumbled as the air filled my lungs quickly; my chest going up and down rapidly. “Four months ago he was the one holding me,” I begun talking quickly and started hyperventilating “As I was crying over you. Now it’s happening again but in reverse. It’s me. I keep doing this,” I rambled, tears oozing from eyes.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sorCHMAlg
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I was doing this. Alex was never the right guy for me and maybe neither was Damien. Maybe that’s why it hurt so bad, because I wanted him to be that guy so bad. My chest was going up and down quickly and aching. I didn’t noticed Alex moving, until he was standing in front of me.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgAdLGVgrA
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“Erica, calm down,” he said, putting his palms against my cheeks and looking at me. I bit my bottom lip trying to calm down with no success. Everything was great before he kissed me that day in the swimming pool for the first time. Why would he do that? I was fine before. I was fine just imagining that kiss, imagining him looking into my eyes with care. I was fine before.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwBZl6uI9F
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But I was glad I lived it. Grateful that I was free to caress his beautiful face and that I saw the way he looked and smelled after sex. I was thankful even if now my insides were aching and burning like a demon’s flesh that’s being touched by holy water. I breathed out a whimper and put my palm against the center of my chest.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLk8riy4tZk
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“It’s the same thing isn’t?” he asked; looking at me. I just stared at him. “Let’s go,” he said and grabbed my hand.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9EEUIHxke
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“Where?” I asked breathlessly.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhGkXQ0BSt
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“To the hospital,” he said; his voice colored with his intimidating tone.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHHfAOC6bE
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The ride towards the hospital helped a little bit, mostly because Alex had my window wide open. If I cared the slightest about myself at that point, I would be worried about getting pneumonia.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4T1sxT9KpV
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At some point I heard him talking on the phone to one or two people but I didn’t pay attention. I was just glad that he didn’t know the twins or my parent’s number. Or at least I hoped he didn’t. I was too lost in my trance to worry about that. My mind was spinning and I had lain back enjoying the ride.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQ0MlLRAJN
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Only when we walked into the Emergency Room I became aware of what was really happening. The pain in my chest wasn’t so bad anymore but I still felt something. Maybe it was my heart that was ripped out.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsek3nx9HF4
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I guessed that the phone calls that Alex made as he drove me to the hospital were to a doctor because we didn’t have to wait at all. A doctor led the way towards one of the beds and told me to sit down. When he asked how I felt I was very tempted to say that it felt like I was hit by a truck but I thought it would be better to avoid my bitter humor.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeVcpgyaY4
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“Does it still hurt?” he asked as he took my pressure. Alex was standing on the end of the bed, his one arm against his chest and the other over it as his fingers were tracing his mouth; the whole time staring at me.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBg1CIKfAlC
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“No,” I replied “But it tickles,” I frowned not sure if that was the right word to describe the feeling.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8LVWijoxG
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“Mr. White, can you please pull the curtains close?” he asked Alex and then turned towards me. “Lift your shirt please, I need to listen to your heart,” he told me. I nodded not even thinking that Alex was there.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmjLis3PqP
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“Do you want me to …” Alex told me, pointing outside. I shook my head politely. It wasn’t like he would see anything he hasn’t seen before. That thought brought a scoff to my lips that I chocked as the doctor place the stethoscope to my chest and then my heart rate increased again.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqb3CTm4CFk
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“Take another deep breath please,” he told me and I noticed a light frown. My sight blurred for a moment but then I controlled myself and did what the doctor asked. “Okay, turn around,” he asked and I turned towards Alex; my top still upwards. I blinked to control the tears and gave a weak smile to Alex. “Okay,” the doctor exhaled and removed the stethoscope. I pulled down my top and turned towards him again.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAIrJRkHyK
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“You just had an anxiety attack,” he looked at me.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNSCcZYrvR
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“But I’m not anxious about anything,” I frowned. I didn’t give damn about my classes at this point.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62U6QwoOtE
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“From your symptoms, pounding heart, shortness of breath, hyperventilation and insomnia I can come up with one answer and that is anxiety attack,” he begun. “But I can say that grieving can also be a cause. Grieving is a powerful emotion that can have physical effects on our autonomic system and can even cause arrhythmias or bursting of weakened blood vessels,” the doctor explained. I wasn’t surprised he thought of “grief”; my red eyes were one of my symptoms.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiRqfiAdH2
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“Oh,” was all I managed to say. “What can I do?” I asked.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQ0OyiIQKs
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“Because this have happened again in the past, I’m going to prescribe something to just calm you down,” he said.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbxrYvU4pK
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“Anti-depression drugs?” Alex asked.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkNpcy8gJi
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“What?” I frowned “No,” I turned towards the doctor as I realized what drugs he meant. “I have my exams to study for,”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTmrST2bse
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“Alright, take one before you go to sleep for two nights in the row. It will help you sleep and rest. Then take them if you start having any symptoms again, okay?” the doctor smiled and wrote something on a paper and left it. “Though I don’t think it will happen again soon.”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD16tnh5HQN
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“Thank you Dr. Wallace,” Alex said as I nodded. The doctor smiled at him and shook his hand before leaving us alone. I exhaled deeply and got up from the bed. Alex walked next to me, his hand on the back of my waist as we exited the hospital.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnsTPednzr
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“That was interesting,” I smiled as approached the car. “Many people have been dumped before but how many were they diagnosed?” I laughed.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kZn0qeKEd
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“I need to know that you’ll be okay,” Alex told me as he sat opened the passengers door for me.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgavcTjEim
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“I’ll try,” I mumbled.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMjWZMS28L
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The next two days I did sleep well thanks to the drugs the doctor gave me but the third night was as the same as the first night I learned Damien left. I tossed and turned, curling up into a ball. I tried to avoid taking a pill again because I’ve heard that you can get addicted to anti-depressing’s.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucxhZPYApP
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I wanted to hear his voice so bad; to hear that everything was okay. And I made the mistake to pick up my phone and call him; because this time he picked up. My heart almost exploded.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCZ4px98nv
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“What?” he asked so abruptly that made my heart shutter into a million pieces.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9y2rBkdWOp
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“Hi,” I breathed.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7KHUWc8Et
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“What the hell Erica?” he asked. I never thought it would hurt this bad to hear him calling my name “It’s four o’clock in the morning!” he replied; his tone cold and distant.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmP5XcRSTIn
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“I’m sorry,” I whispered “I just needed to hear your voice,” I swallowed hard.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1ydHjGNxY
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“So what?”he breathed out. He sounded like he was struggling too but it still hurt so badly. Tears filled my eyes and I hung up the phone before throwing it at the end of the bed. I wasn’t ready for this. I fell against my pillow, covering my face and smothered the sound of my sobs.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTRH4BXfFO
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And that’s when it happened again; the pounding pain returned to my chest. I sat up trying to calm down and looked at my phone, thought of calling Alex but I didn’t want to wake him up. So I stood up and walked into the shower. But again, tears came out of nowhere. I couldn’t calm myself down. I wrapped my towel around my body, between sobs, and walked into the room again.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXebkInJCFR
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“Yes?” Alex answered his phone sleepily.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJqk2Hsm80
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“I’m sorry,” I said softly “I…” I trailed. And that’s when Alex must have realized it was me on the phone.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ390n0sAfuh
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“Are you okay?” he asked anxiously.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc51y2kiMLd
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“I don’t know,” I whispered but my breathing was still quick.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Jb77nGkuM
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“It happened again?”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ibCnDQDq4
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“Yes,” I breathed.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LPEGZrTer
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“Get dressed.” He said and hung up the phone; not even giving me the chance to argue with him.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWV2uCI8WfE
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This time the doctor that examined me thought it was best to keep me in. He said that it was suspicious for a girl my age to get those episodes so regularly. I tried to delay notifying my mother as much as possible as I didn’t want to scare her. I was lying in a bed, with stickers against my chest and my heart beat was beeping through a machine for the entire room to hear.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAMsVvd6UL
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“You need to call your mother,” Alex said from the foot of the bed. I studied him for a moment and noticed that I never saw him dressed so casual and I frowned.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESyTkj13JH
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“You’re not wearing a button up shirt,” I stated. He chuckled and shook his head.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgS7OFiQtq0
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“Yeah, sorry,” he smiled “I didn’t have time for a formal outfit,” he mocked.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsX2lxMu75
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“Thank you for coming,” I smiled at him. He looked at me for a moment and then sat down at the end of the bed; exhaling deeply.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24bSobXqXZ
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“Three days ago, when you’re having that episode, you said something,” he begun “You said that you keep doing this to yourself,” he said. I felt uncomfortable and the beeping sound on the machine picked up. He looked at the machine for a second and then took my hand in his. I swallowed waiting to hear what he would say next. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time,” he sighed.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OkwkIhyyL
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“What? You’ve lost me,” I frowned.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CcqUR7gtB
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“If we haven’t met that night, you wouldn’t be in here now,” he explained but I was still lost.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqunPN6b7TG
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“Alex, what are you talking about?”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGzMFxL7cO
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“I’ve been thinking about this since that night at the club you had the first episode,” he explained and that’s when I realized what he was talking about. That night when we were out together after the second time we got together. I couldn’t breathe inside the club and accidentally told him this was happening often since he left.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrhZbW3Zty
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“Oh my God,” I frowned “This isn’t your fault,” I breathed and tried to sit up.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQHP9vnbBL
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“Stay down,” he said and stopped me from getting up “This is my fault. I damaged you so badly and he…” he trailed. The thought of Damien brought a sharp pain into my chest that made me ignore what he said.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BRWkSVO3c
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“He broke me,” I smiled a humorless smile; the machine giving me in. Alex looked towards it and stood up.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuiHCvdtuW
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“Damn it, I shouldn’t have brought this up now,” he frowned. “Here,” he said and gave me my phone “Call your mother. It’s seven a.m.”405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl64qikxg4k
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I looked at him and sighed. It was best to hear it from me that I was in the hospital; to see that it wasn’t anything serious. Or at least I hoped it wasn’t.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaxUuA7uOv
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Conjure One - Tears From the Moon405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLwUxLllOs
