I couldn’t help but feel insecure again. I should be out of my mind with happiness. And I was. But a little piece of my mind was having other thoughts; thoughts that were causing me to doubt and feel scared. Again.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xwQsDL0yV
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Damien once promised me that he’ll never leave. Actually no. He didn’t promise that. He promised not to cheat on me. Then I guess the fact that he left me five months ago was different. He didn’t break a promise. But he did break my heart.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciv4eU01hE
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A heart that I thought was healed in Italy when he told me he loved me for the first time. But a part of me was still suspicious. Then again, maybe there wasn’t a way to completely feel secure in a relationship. I knew that sometimes he could see right through me, read the fear in my eyes, because he would assure me that he loves me as soon as he noticed the slightest change in me.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnm9OOfKlD
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But now it was a different fear. Damien was clear about his feelings from the start. I was the one holding back, too afraid to show him how much I really love him and that made him feel insecure. I could tell because everytime I mentioned Alex, his eyes would change and he felt the need to hear how I felt about him.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQq5QMtEv7
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Now, I was scared that he asked me to marry him because he felt insecure. But we were both clear on our views on the matter; “If a person wants to cheat, it will happen; married or not”. So I doubt that marrying me would make him feel safe and secure.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DD2DhdIBg
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So what was it? Why I couldn’t just let go and be happy? I needed another opinion. I knew that Damien was Cleo’s brother but she was also my best friend. Thankfully, after we made up, she didn’t seem to have a problem with my relationship with him.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrAL3XutE0
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“Where are you?” I asked Cleo on the phone.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFtbC0Iid9
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“Home, what’s up?” she asked.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61skvfQ9tQ
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“Oh, good. I need to see you. Can I pick you up in a while? Some shopping is in order,” I replied.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcc6gJoEvi
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Half an hour later, we were inside our favorite store, walking around and looking at clothes.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhhTKmcNaS
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“So, Damien is being weird,” I said.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpEEzQ89gb
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“Weird? Already?” she chuckled “Have you even had time to talk? I bet you were only having sex since last night,” she mocked.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoxbB7RvEU
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“That can’t stop someone from talking!” I raised my eyebrows and smirked.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uMtDX9CxI
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“Dear Lord,” she winced.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYij9m575Ok
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“What if he just feels insecure that I’m over here without him when he’s away in Italy?” I asked out of the blue. “What if he changes his mind when he gets back?”505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oKHgn6Y1W
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“I’m confused,” she let down a top she was holding and turned towards me.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtfTlZPTNS
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“He asked me to marry him,” I explained. I couldn’t fight back the smile.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCEP3oYXPB
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“What?” she asked so loudly and thrilled that some girls turned to look at us. I looked around me sideways and then back at her; a wide smile on her face. “Why aren’t you thrilled?” she narrowed her eyes.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ghpUwm1WX
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“I told you. What if he asked me to marry him because he’s just feeling insecure? He was always clear about his feelings towards me and I was always afraid to tell him.”505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oLM53CSUW
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“I thought, after Italy, everything was great. I thought everything was out in the open,” she asked.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fYhRMWFic
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“And you’re right. But what if he still feels like I’m holding back?” I asked; my fingers fidgeting.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAakEhrlKd
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“Baby,” she begun “What you’re doing now, this is how you’re holding back,” she said “Look at me,” she told me and I turned my eyes to hers “The love of your life asked you to marry him and you’re overanalyzing it! Just be happy!!” she smiled.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJoirOHdaP
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I stared at her for a few seconds. She was right. I looked at my hands for a second before a smile appeared on my lips.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4BlbwNtOk
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“You’re right,” I smiled. “Damien asked me to marry him,” I said in order to digest it. She nodded and hugged me. “And he did it while we were having sex, by the way,” I chuckled.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTiXe98YH1
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“Come on! You ruined it for me! Ew!” she winced and pulled away from me. I laughed and told her how everything happened.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HMTl7Zcdw
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“So, we have to keep it a secret?” she frowned as we got into the car. “What is it with you and secrets?”505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qJwGKOWt9
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“I’m scared that he’ll change his mind when he gets back,” I mumbled.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeedv1ILMXe
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“Why will he do that?” she questioned rhetorically “I doubt that he would have asked you in the first place if he wasn’t sure about his feelings,” Cleo said.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDKT3ew7qg
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“We haven’t been together that long. What if he doesn’t like me? My everyday me, I mean,” I replied truthfully. I had to get this out of my chest.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLAIcYEsTt
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“Honey, do you listen to the words that come out of your mouth?” She frowned and shook her head. She didn’t even ignite the engine. “Damien loves you!” she said and sighed. “Talk to him,” she suggested.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4w16gRl6ag
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“What? No!” I shook my head. “I don’t want him to know that I’m scared again!”505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPl7xJl6QRU
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“You can’t hide your feelings for him if you’re gonna start a family someday. It’s not right,” She pointed out.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgLf81LDxs
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“You’re right,” I sighed. “I’ll try and talk to him,” I agreed.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyh6sZDesNi
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Damien was in the country for ten days. And of course, they weren’t enough. I didn’t see him again after the morning he proposed because he had plans with his friends. I also went out with the twins in order to stop myself from over thinking; something that never leads to good things.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qW7zFmYww
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I returned home and went straight to bed; hugging the pillow he was sleeping yesterday. Sometime during the night my phone rang. Damien wanted me to let him in.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6b91tsMKP
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“You should get your own key,” I told him half asleep as he closed the door behind him.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsdft4ytdG
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“I’m not even your official boyfriend,” he mocked referring to the fact that only our closest friends knew about our relationship.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpa7C6b4HX
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“Fine, then. Next time you can sleep in your bed. Alone.” I arched my eyebrows.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBazDhzisF
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“I can start now,” he smirked and took a step towards the door.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNR1l7pOVt
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“No!” I cried softly and lunched to his arms. His hands were around my body in a second and I heard him chuckle. He smelled like whiskey and cigarettes. I have forgotten that smell that I learnt to love because of him. Damien gripped my butt and led me towards the bed.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIFx4LH6LD
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“Do you want to go back to sleep?” he asked me softly as he was kissing my jaw line.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgpy8r72FG
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“I want you,” I replied. I could sleep next week that he won’t be around.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2okNq9D0Qp
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He gripped my thigh tightly as I closed my legs around his torso and pushed myself against his body. He nibbled the skin on my neck. I mingled my fingers through his long hair and kept my eyes open to take it all in.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZXARlTaO4
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He pulled back after a while just to remove his jeans and t-shirt. He returned on the bed and pulled my underwear down before returning on top of me.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gIxciaHKY
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He entered me slowly; that sweet pain of fulfilling between my legs. He stared at me with those marvelous grey eyes of his and kissed me lips softly as he remained inside of me.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWH5Eq5IBKY
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“I love you,” he whispered and made my heart fly.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcpuzuajnh
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“I love you too,” I breathed.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgm47ZkWRys
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I fell asleep intoxicated by his musk scent and his warmth; Things that I could never get used to having.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEAoTdTJ9d
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“So where are we going?” I asked Damien as I was seated in his black M6 for a trip to the unknown. He only told me we were going for a casual drink so I was wearing a maxi floral sun-dress witha low cut v-neck and my wedges. Nothing fancy and out of the ordinal.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteL30IS30R
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He, on the other hand, was wearing a shirt. That was surely out of the ordinal. Damien was wearing shirts only if he was going out; never for coffee or a casual drink in the afternoon. Of course he was wearing his jeans, but that shirt made me wonder what he had in mind.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvEjW7zjD6
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“Somewhere we haven’t been for a while,” he said still not answering my question. I frowned.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsX8ghepXkO
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“Enlightening! We haven’t been anywhere for a while,” I narrowed my eyes. He laughed bitterly because the reason was that he was in Italy. He put his hand on my thigh and squished it.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdn1XomC1V
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“I’m sorry I’ve been away,” he sighed. I placed my hand on top of his quickly and held it as he drove.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhGk7tfSxp
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“Don’t you dare apologize again for that!” I told him “It’s for your future!”505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡut32HHgR7I
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“You’re my future,” he said quietly. My heart flew. I smiled and I put my hand on the back of his newly shortened hair; my thumb caressing his unshaved cheek. I adored him no matter how he looked, but Damien with short hair was giving me shivers and butterflies.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpZbd7yRLT
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“You know what I mean,” I said trying to recover my thoughts and he nodded giving me a smile. “So, tell me where we going!” I demanded.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9U6KbM1i8T
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“Nope,” he grinned. I pouted defeated. I only knew one thing we were going somewhere far away.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsU0FKLhcvL
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We were talking about random stuff for a while until I began noticing the familiar surroundings. We were driving to the Summer house. It’s where he first kissed me and where we made love for the first time.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUshtzf1tTz
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I turned to look at him. Butterflies attacked my stomach just like that very first time. I smiled. He turned his eyes towards me for a moment and smiled too.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr76sPgfayd
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“The gates are open,” I frowned. He didn’t speak. Weird. He drove up the driveway and stopped the car.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSXRE38rPY
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“Wait here for a moment, please?” He told me, looking at me in the eye. His hand pulling a handle and the trunk clicked. “And try not to look,” he smiled.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwqoQtKWuN
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“Okay,” I agreed. I was dying to find out what was going on. It wasn’t our anniversary or anything. Could it be -? Was it possible that he was going to propose for real? No. I doubt it was that.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFElYUYncG
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He closed the gates behind the car and I realized that I didn’t have any clothes with me. “But who cares, it’s not like I’ll be wearing any of them around him.” I saw him taking out something from the back of the car quickly but I tried not to see what it actually was. Not that I could make out in the dim light that was coming from the house.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGV3CzpCodg
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A few minutes later he walked out of the house and walked to my side of the car, opened the door for me and helped me get out. The light breeze made my dress fly as he closed the door behind me and took my hand in his.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqmjXq77mO
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We walked into the house and straight towards the back glass doors. He stopped in front of the closed curtains and told me to keep my eyes closed.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32caZQ0G9r
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“Okay,” I nodded. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and my heart racing with anticipation.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBOHQHzrmR
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He placed his hand on my lower back and carefully led me outside. I felt his palms against my cheeks and his lips pressing against mine softly.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwOUSxO7Qw
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“You can open your eyes now,” he said softly.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpttyrel6kZ
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The small lights from around the yard was on and the swimming pool lights too. Also, there was a small table on the other side of the pool, between the pool and the roofed sun bed.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7NCpP5p37
Plates and candles was on the table and next to it a trolley with what I guessed to be dinner and red and white tulips; my favorite. I was speechless.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQKcPY4zd8
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“So beautiful,” I mumbled. I didn’t even care what the reason was. If he went into all this trouble, I only had to enjoy myself.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkutBM5nMEu
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“I’m glad you like it,” he smiled and led me towards the table. “Would you like some wine?” he asked me.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjqg8SkPNk
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“Yes, please,” I smiled. And I haven’t even spoken to him about my concerns. He poured wine into two glasses and gave me one. I walked towards the edge of the pool and stared at the water smiling.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUACt0bRA0A
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“You look so beautiful,” he said quietly from a few feet behind me. I turned around; my dress still moving away from my legs in the rhythm of the breeze. I noticed him putting his mobile back on the table and smiled. He must have taken a picture. Then I noticed him fidgeting as he left his glass on the table too.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvKvNpIjKu
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“Why are you so nervous?” I frowned. Damien chuckled as he walked up to me.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRF0aYaaxG
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“I love you,” he smiled and looked at me with his marvelous grey eyes.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTji8FYeXZW
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“I love you too baby,” I smiled and kissed him softly on the lips.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChcFU6s3vp
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“I know you’re having second thoughts about asking you to marry me,” he begun and for a moment I turned my eyes elsewhere. But then he kept talking. “I’ve thought about it a lot when I was away and I actually can’t think about a future without you in it. And everything I want to do is to create a better future for you. I know we are not together that long and you’re scared about that,” he said and I bid my bottom lip but I couldn’t keep my eyes away from him. At first it sounded like he was about to propose, again, but he confused me. “But we do know each other your whole life,” I chuckled as he emphasized our age difference. He took the glass from my hands and placed it on the table behind us.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5II8k9F0N
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“I know that by asking you to marry me, you won’t stop being afraid,” he said and a sigh escaped my lips. “But I’m hoping to make you remember that I won’t leave you or hurt you in any way. I know that I promised that once again and I broke that promise -”505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3AfQXHlgV
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“Actually, you only promised not to cheat on me,” I mumbled and smiled softly.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBnvGXEZ53
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“I actually promised to myself not to do anything to hurt you like Alex did. So, I did broke my promise,” he said and those days came back to my mind. My heart fell. He cupped my face and made me look into his grey eyes.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasA9cLrBNN
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“I promise not to ever hurt you like that ever again. For as long as I live and breathe,” he vowed “I want you to know that I’m committed to you and us. And I will do anything in my power to keep you happy. And so I wanted to do this properly,” he said and before I asked what he was talking about he got down on one knee and took a little box out of his pocket. I parted my lips in order to breathe properly when he asked the question.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6lYRjN77U
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“Will you marry me?” he asked. My lips curled up to a smile. The ring was not silver like all engagement rings. It was a material I couldn’t place and on the top, a grey rock surrounded by little white rocks. I smiled as it instantly reminded me my favorite set of eyes.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlbHr6mCt4
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“Yes,” I smiled and he took the ring out of the box and placed it on my finger. He stood up and cupped my face and kissed me. “I want you everytime you look on your ring to remember my promise. Okay?”505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPofzUKo9zk
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“Okay,” I mumbled as I got lost into his arms.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISwIiBwsdv
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If there’s a Heaven, I’m pretty sure I was seeing it and feeling it right that moment. So this is how it felt having all your dreams coming true.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7v1tWDtjS
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“So, I guess with a rock on my finger it will be very hard not to tell our families…” I trailed; a small grin on my lips as I sliced my chicken. Damien chuckled.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUaLhYoQrP
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“A bit too late for that,” he grinned and ate his last bite.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3TiEKsFFt
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“What do you mean?” I frowned and left my fork down.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWXXv4u9Ft
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“I’ve already told you; I wanted to do this properly!” he said and got a sip of wine. I was waiting patiently. “I’ve talked to my parents and then visited your parents early this afternoon,” he smiled, eyeing me carefully and waiting for a response.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7lppNmkwY
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“Okay,” I breathed out slowly. Where was I during all of this? Oh right, I was with Max. I’m sure he was in on it.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6ZlsWU2Qk
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“I told them that we’ve been seeing each other for almost a year,” he begun.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzU7kD6bnV
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“That’s a lie,” I smirked. Damien laughed.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcm7Ty1ygs0
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“It’s been a year since we first kissed,” he arched an eyebrow. “We’ve been in love for much more, but I kept the details for ourselves.”505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbeyTNf8on
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“Good thinking,” I chuckled. There wasn’t a need for our parents to know everything. “So?”505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIyecypeik
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“Well, to be honest, our moms did seem to relax at the fact that we are planning on waiting until you get your degree,” he said.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYCZ9PPsoN
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It was such a beautiful night. I couldn’t care less if I was barely 19 and was engaged to a man that I was in a relationship for under a year. Because Damien wasn’t just a man. He was everything I adored and longed for since I could remember myself.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MpYnWPYaB
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“Why were you so nervous, anyway?” I asked curious as I sipped my wine. He took a sip from his as well and chuckled; blushing. “Oh my God, I made you blush!” I exclaimed happily and he laughed as I got up from my seat and landed on his lap; hugging him.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UQ5aOs81z
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“You are the love of my life. I wanted this to be perfect,” he explained softly.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazWKgaem0v
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“It is perfect, baby,” I smiled and kissed his lips.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNZiEhn3pf
♠ ♠ ♠
Title Credit:505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTfmTIc5lp
"Hearts Don't Break Around Here" – Ed Sheeran505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAvbcIMq34
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One of the new (published in 2017) chapters!!! Let me know what you think!!
