I woke up at eleven in the morning, had breakfast and left for home. The drive back was easier, mostly because I was so excited to see Damien after three days.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtCXve1r46
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQA7b1A2Z6
I was planning on going home, do laundry and find Cleo. I wanted to try and talk to her one more time. We were best friends since we were babies, her opinion meant the world to me and I wanted to be clear about that; even if she haven’t contacted me at all since I left town.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTO38cPzEs
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VluKci1IM
As soon as I arrived I went towards my parents kitchen; not even bothering going into my garage.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuntny7nmy6
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkn6segVyT
“Hello,” I greeted my mom as I entered the kitchen from the back door.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqIhiQeZvs
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFr25mgkXg
“Welcome home baby,” mom replied “How are you?”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEHucnJtDt
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeQxmbGw3B
“Fine, you?” I smiled and left my bag on the floor.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3EO4mLyRb
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnPR1VVeif
“Got dirty clothes?”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOO8YbyoyzF
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77U3HyNrYm
“Yup,” I grinned “Why aren’t you at the office?”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCsVs4TVmW
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHMy3MLtHW
“Have to visit a client in a bit,” she explained and narrowed her eyes when she noticed I was smiling at her. “Don’t look at me like that, do laundry yourself.”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbj19VGVw8g
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62jYZtOGAM
“Fine,” I groaned and I retrieved my bag before walking towards her. I kissed her cheek as I passed her by and exited the kitchen. I turned right and entered the laundry room. I left the bag on the ground once again and took my mobile out of my back pocket. I dialed Damien’s number and put it on speaker phone. His phone was disconnected. I put the phone back into my pocket thinking he must be at work.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJmGY3hiLl
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJVf81g989
After putting all my clothes into the washing machine I sat in the kitchen with my mom until she left for work. I tried calling Damien again and like earlier his phone was disconnected. I sat into my parent’s living room to watch some television, though I should probably be into my garage and try and study.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuchUK3cGZ
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCzt7Qykyu
I dialed Max’s number and put the phone on speaker. It took three rings before he picked up.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72cVyokrvN
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtm5cKJqJP
“Hey,” he breathed, sounding weird.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpn6hualib6
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5ZGLlia5p
“Hello to you too,” I frowned a little bit “Are you okay?” I asked referring to his weird greeting.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjx0UTEP4G
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfBvLAhN9a
“I’m okay, how are you?” he asked, still sounding weird.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVsa9nVM7a
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKahcPRIYv
“Fine,” I replied “Where are you? I’m home!” I smiled. He didn’t reply for a moment.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcfcvMeJOI
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5c2oIYu3vz
“Fuck,” he mumbled “Dude, I’m gonna have to call you back,” he said; the word rushing out of his mouth.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eEbaHWQKe
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GXWswlCtJ
“Okay, don’t be late because I’m so bored!” I replied and hung up. I wanted to call Cleo but something stopped me. So I texted her instead. “I’m back home, if you want a coffee.” I remained on that couch until three o’clock in the afternoon when Max finally called me.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RFDCjuW4E
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dR1qRB7FU
“Hey, “ he breathed “Offer still stands?” he asked.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghQoesaQGN
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wC6z6s2XX
“Of course,” I replied “Come over!”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTm6iSWjNZ
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKz2T5gTuY
Max turned up soon afterwards. He said Cleo was trying to finish a project that she working on since I left. She was trying to keep herself occupied as I understood.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2SzmFUFgT
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUETPMv1A9y
He told me she had a date with Mike two nights ago and that she looked very optimistic. It looked like Max was trying to avoid mentioning Damien, so I left it at that, doing the very same thing but not really understanding the reason.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mCFi6dJ2c
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzg8sgpkazr
About an hour later, that I still haven’t heard from Damien, my mom returned home. I refused to cook for myself because I was cooking the whole time I was living with James, so her arrival made me extra happy.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWojp4dqWU
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcExBEQYgiq
I was sitting with Max in the kitchen sofa playing cards until the food was ready. Thankfully mom had prepared the meat and now I only had to wait half an hour until it was grilled. At some point I heard mom talking on the phone, telling someone to bring a soda for us. A while later Evita, the twin’s mother, walked through the kitchen door.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJyaPq6xkQ
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HRv5zoJeH
“Hello guys,” she greeted us “Welcome Erica.”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkL6oUEIUBS
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw48E56qQFH
“Hello Aunt,” I smiled and got up to take the soda that she put on the kitchen counter. “How are you?” I smiled.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHFThQ0RLV
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqafH2WnVfs
“Here,” my mom said at the same time and left some money on the counter.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVy51fDXU20
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgr6qbcaTfd
“Don’t even think about it,” Evita replied to her. “I’m still trying to digest the fact that my baby left again,” she sighed.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJe5m98R71W
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDijBXN9F8K
“Which baby left?” I frowned with a half smile as I walked towards the cupboard with the glasses. Max was here. Cleo was at home. That only left one person that could leave…402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjlCe2sGot
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxegFe9SE2
“Damien,” and a deep sigh escaped her chest the same time the realization hit me. My heart fell. I blinked; staring at the shelves. My chest started going up and down quickly as my heartbeat increased. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took one glass in my hands.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7irFnqzVOO
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1uZQDg2ZC
“Wasn’t he supposed to leave in two weeks?” I asked trying to sound as casual as possible. I took another glass out of the cupboard and opened up the soda bottle.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yHuuXQDhf
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPx3BaHlKw
“Yeah,” Evita said “But he said he got a call this morning at work from some friends and he’s meeting them in Rome before going in Tuscany,” she explained. I felt a strong pain in my chest as I tried to keep the tears back.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZ9HlAtizY
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7ftLpzEb3
“That’s nice,” I noted and put the soda into the fridge; never turning my head towards Evita or my mom. I wanted to keep my expression hidden because I didn’t even know how I looked like.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPA1MlrPFC
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBd6i0BEcGk
“You kids should go and visit, using those tickets he got you for your birthday,” she suggested as I was walking towards Max.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZsWm1mFPj
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoK8XD3sRG
“Maybe after their exams,” my mom spoke. I put the soda on the table in front of Max, never looking at him.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPkwSNAtcV
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYVtd6HfiM
“Yeah, after the exams,” I replied and sat down with my back towards the kitchen. I didn’t care if Max saw me crying, but I didn’t want Evita to see me. I took a deep breath and focused on my cards.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hEkKjigPu
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsCD7ID4kB
“Your turn,” I said to Max. He didn’t move for a moment.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0t9kSee0K
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjmRPMyEXW
“Yeah,” he breathed after a while and put a card down. I sipped my soda and took a deep breath. I couldn’t stop staring at my phone. We haven’t even finished the game when I grabbed it from the table and dialed Damien’s number.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMscE1j1WqH
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkVnQWuaWR
Nothing. His phone was disconnected. My breathing started to increase and I leaned forward, touching my elbows on my knees, as I tried to calm myself down. “Why would he leave like that? Things were fine last night” I was thinking over and over again.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cj6HroMCy
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvINpHAIN2
My mom approached us then, holding two plates with grilled chicken and left them on the table. I thanked her, not really talking, and pulled the plate in front of me.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyttBX88hV7
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHLAsYVKnE
[+++]402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4C6csdyvs
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcRFimMjtr
Max closed the door behind us as we walked into the renovated garage. I took small steps towards the bed and sat down; my chest aching.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2lrohu4yw
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGcpWHb8eP
“Did he…” I breathed “Did he really left?” I frowned looking at Max for the first time.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5l56xhLNs
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMvMkVarMr
“Fuck,” he mumbled and leaned against the door “You didn’t know. He said everything’s okay,” Max frowned.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEz5Tyq3azH
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGSESjMJdo
“When did he say that?” I asked; my voice fainted.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblVs0DxgUL
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtdrRUAGOQ
“He woke me up this morning,” Max breathed and took a step from the door “And said he’s leaving. I asked where he’s going because I got confused because I knew he went into the office this morning and he said that he got a call from a friend and that he’s meeting his old buddies in Rome before going up to Tuscany,” Max explained like he knew I needed to hear the story one more time.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjBYCEDj5e
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJHCXmBnnp
He walked towards me as he spoke again “I followed him to the door and I asked if you knew about this,” he said and finally sat down beside me. I swallowed. “He said “everything’s okay kid”, hugged me, hugged Cleo and left,” he breathed.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0EhqOYyh8
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFJd13k6bQ
I couldn’t speak. Everything was fine last night. He was excited that I was finally coming back home. What could possibly change overnight? Or if nothing changed, and everything was okay why he left without calling or texting? Or at least answering his phone?402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjtE0TXkWK
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBS4vpAbYas
“I…” I stuttered “We spoke last night…” I breathed. “I don’t understand,” I whispered and pulled back on the bed, pulling my legs against my chest. Max turned towards me and put his hand on my ankle; stroking my skin with his thumb.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGrQBzXBps
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzntqWJYVx
“I’ll talk to him. He’ll call sooner or later,” he said.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBudnyQJjpz
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvujvmpx7AG
“No, no,” I rapidly shook my head.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQLY6TqHgd
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3g246EjQYw
“Why not?” Max frowned.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxCrJWS8a3
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJ41AjY6k3
“Don’t get involved please,” I shook my head again but slowly this time.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHXoQSukB7
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOcFo3koAr
“I wanna know too,” he blinked.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYD7GnrvCw4
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmslq2jdYbE
“Please don’t. For the past two months I’ve been trying to keep this casual, like I wasn’t dating your brother. You getting involved will cancel all that out,” I explained.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmifMmOlWb
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxAMDgtH7q
The truth was that I was afraid. I didn’t want him to feel pressure about anything. If his brother got involved he would probably feel pressured and that would pushed him further away from me. If it was possible to be further apart.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyp9SoNX3ik
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gkRHIdsU4
[+++]402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡka4pWDQ7TP
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXKEuaieYs
I should have left. I should have taken the chance to go away for university. Then none of this would have happened. Even if I have taken up on Alex’s offer. I wouldn’t have stayed and Alex wouldn’t have broken my heart and most importantly I wouldn’t be around to fall in love with Damien once again.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0L3MmjWFf
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMuwUsL8H6
It hurt so badly. What I was feeling now was nothing compared to how I felt when Alex cheated or when we broke up. My heart was shuttered into a million little pieces inside my chest and everytime I had a thought of him it was like those little pieces cut through my flesh; burning my insides and killing me even more in the process.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfEL4OpWMv
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODQc2pDEL3
I even made my mother cry when she came to check on me that day. And it hurt more. I was avoiding the mirrors because I didn’t want to see how I looked like. The way I felt was enough.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeQo1DfG7q
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd03kwqPscG
There were moments that I couldn’t understand why he would leave like this. Moments that I was going insane, running our last conversations over and over and over again into my mind trying to find what went wrong. And I would pick up the phone and dial his number.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVrbcVHG65
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATz06zLYOo
He never answered; even if the phone was now working, two days after he left. And why would he? We didn’t belong together. I wasn’t enough. Why would he stay with me? It was a miracle we even had those two months together. I should be happy I had those two months. I should be happy I got to taste his bittersweet lips, stare into his mesmerizing grey eyes. Deep down I was glad I never got to tell him how I really felt because he would probably laugh.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYneIy6DmO
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmwMYF1uk7
But what about all those times he held me into his arms and stared into my eyes? The times when he wanted me to say I was his. Why would he do that if he never cared? Or when he assured me that he would never cheat on me. Why would he do that? He knew I hated big words. He knew I hated promises and yet he would say those things.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDMBF09Gl2
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVNjQ51aZG
Every time the phone rang my heart fluttered. But it was never him and the soft pain in my chest returned again. Max was calling regularly to check on me; trying to get me out of the house. Cleo had texted me, asking if I was okay but I wasn’t ready for her or the outside world yet.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHkf183T73
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwb0bZnwfl3
Only the third day I got up from the bed and opened my laptop, trying to slowly have a connection with the outside world. Yesterday and the day before that my mother came home from work to cook and bring me food; that only made me feel more pathetic but I never argued.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgNp4J3STX
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcMc6AXcfG
After I was done eating and I was ready to sit on the couch and ignore the world around me, including my examinations, my phone rang. My heart fluttered but fell when I saw that it wasn’t him. It was Alex. I had completely forgotten about him.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjk2TeOyCq3
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrnVTSxNwZ
“Hello,” I answered; my voice completely lifeless.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBwUj2DsYe
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLL3DumQfah
“Hello,” he said slowly and I could hear the frown on his features “Are you okay?” he asked, sounding anxious. I breathed sharply.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rFcVl4ULN
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnATpqLD4dp
“Yes,” I lied automatically.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHvrJRU2wz
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZQuQWcSDZ
“I thought that by now you’d know better than to lie to me, love,” he said softly.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpK9ozPSe8G
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tRXyuFg2M
“I’m not in the mood Alex,” I replied; the impatience coloring my voice.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmkUJoBhK3
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDk8xNi91h
“I’m coming to pick you up,” he said but by the time I refused he had already hung up the phone.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbcbkbvpWZ
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgMNCJ318X
He arrived sooner than expected; right when I was done getting ready. Not that I made an effort. I just put on a pair of jeans and a simple black top. Thankfully it was daytime and I could hide my red puffy eyes under my black sunglasses.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfb18FFaEUa
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIL1KG2IoT
I greeted him heartlessly as I sat beside him in the black Aston Martin. He breathed a greeting back and never spoke again until we were at the mansion.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6DPBX9cWZ
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhJICdc6Mm
“When did you arrived?” I asked as we got out of the car.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9TlwbvLZE
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbnNZTuPDp
“This morning,” he replied as he walked beside me towards the double doors of the entrance. “How did you know?” he smiled.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieSgP7BxD4
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApcWstBFdR
“You came too fast,” I made an attempt to smile but failed. Smiling felt strange. He looked at me for a moment and then turned around, opening the door and walked inside.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5FQCKQOCv
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODhVHAUxwT
I never thought that I could talk to Alex so freely about what I felt. Maybe it was because when we were together it was the only thing I never wanted to do. But I didn’t care anymore. I knew he wouldn’t judge me for having feelings for Damien.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGhyI8CFdi
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLtRpiVu3Z
When, at some point, I burst into tears he pulled me into his arms and held me there. And as he kept me I realized that maybe I shouldn’t have talk to him at all. Three days ago our positions were reversed, maybe it was selfish talking to him; after all he had his own problems to deal with. I pulled back and wiped the tears from my eyes.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHIpKXEZ2h
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qQyzRd3BG
“Are you okay?” he asked softly.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlDSJBFeA9
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJMaTVZ8vr
“I’m better, thank you,” I swallowed and pushed my fist against my chest, trying to ease the pain. “How are you?” I looked at him, trying to keep my mind occupied. I saw him looking at my hand that was against my chest before looking at my eyes.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡab9G2jLSkk
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXqnjQoaPJ
“I’m better too,” he smiled.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6K6XlHMQDR
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5r2sbWzHNt
“Have you gone to the cemetery?” I asked. He turned forward and looked at the floor, brushing his face with his fingers.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnGIsF4sQh
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2b7Xld6XtV
“No.”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OxeakilVK
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqg7dTeNMGh
“We’re gonna go together,” I told him “I’ll be there with you,” I assured him. He breathed and nodded. “What about your father? Have you talked to him?”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMvNscDwuL
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQbwb58yxJ
“No,” he said his expression hardening “My father and I don’t talk.”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJQt9wP74e
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gOJdVPqj3
“Well, he’ll notice when you’re better and everything will be okay,” I told him and took his hand in mine. He turned towards me and looked at me; his brown eyes liquid.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPkfC2HToL
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSh7mq4EYfx
“I admire you for being able to do that,” he mumbled.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hAbyB8lW5
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9DUJ4QAsD
“Do what?” I blinked.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDxeAhqEIx
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBXShOvmcB
“Be so strong.”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPLgAYOStG
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGDAB5xG5N
“There’s no strength left in me,” I whispered, shaking my head lightly and looked at the floor.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgJW1Y5PYB
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRZy3gCO7a
“Hey,” he said and searched for my eyes. I turned to look at him before he spoke again. “You’ll get over this,” he said sounding confident.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpve5KtFnn
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nKSICSIhS
“I can’t,” I winced and my tears betrayed me once again. I turned my head away from him and tried to wipe the tears away.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaaJSl4JBd
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXixMPDVDQ
“Come here,” I heard him saying right before he pulled me to his arms again. He put his palm against the side of my head as my cheek was laying against his collar bone. “Calm down,” he whispered and a déjà vu hit me; Damien holding me as I was crying over Alex. I pulled away abruptly from him as my breathing fastened and the pain in my chest hardened.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjhVOOTXwp
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynHMyDin2s
“I’m sorry,” I breathed. Alex looked at me shocked.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4L0jCjuJX0
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx97bVPRdAY
“What?” he asked confused “About what?” he frowned and I got up.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7icIG8P9S
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAB7opMaYZ
“It’s my fault. Everything’s my fault,” I mumbled as the air filled my lungs quickly; my chest going up and down rapidly. “Four months ago he was the one holding me,” I begun talking quickly and started hyperventilating “As I was crying over you. Now it’s happening again but in reverse. It’s me. I keep doing this,” I rambled, tears oozing from eyes.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6VqR5XRQK
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJijvsXMDx9
I was doing this. Alex was never the right guy for me and maybe neither was Damien. Maybe that’s why it hurt so bad, because I wanted him to be that guy so bad. My chest was going up and down quickly and aching. I didn’t noticed Alex moving, until he was standing in front of me.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCnifu1u3l
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjq5wAqEFl
“Erica, calm down,” he said, putting his palms against my cheeks and looking at me. I bit my bottom lip trying to calm down with no success. Everything was great before he kissed me that day in the swimming pool for the first time. Why would he do that? I was fine before. I was fine just imagining that kiss, imagining him looking into my eyes with care. I was fine before.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdP4s77M5cV
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4I0ncxnQ4a
But I was glad I lived it. Grateful that I was free to caress his beautiful face and that I saw the way he looked and smelled after sex. I was thankful even if now my insides were aching and burning like a demon’s flesh that’s being touched by holy water. I breathed out a whimper and put my palm against the center of my chest.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirkWjFoVZq
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWDhj5YtRO
“It’s the same thing isn’t?” he asked; looking at me. I just stared at him. “Let’s go,” he said and grabbed my hand.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsklFYFWN6y
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCM1ISmqbW
“Where?” I asked breathlessly.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLuCsvCJKi
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIZ3OqJbqk
“To the hospital,” he said; his voice colored with his intimidating tone.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtGyALwlUg
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7U3ZOkYVy3
The ride towards the hospital helped a little bit, mostly because Alex had my window wide open. If I cared the slightest about myself at that point, I would be worried about getting pneumonia.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBRsTAl7gs
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAZy8NRyu3
At some point I heard him talking on the phone to one or two people but I didn’t pay attention. I was just glad that he didn’t know the twins or my parent’s number. Or at least I hoped he didn’t. I was too lost in my trance to worry about that. My mind was spinning and I had lain back enjoying the ride.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ljCwVW3T7
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbY0NbKGHeP
Only when we walked into the Emergency Room I became aware of what was really happening. The pain in my chest wasn’t so bad anymore but I still felt something. Maybe it was my heart that was ripped out.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesxIa3sWFZ
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0AoziBvrv
I guessed that the phone calls that Alex made as he drove me to the hospital were to a doctor because we didn’t have to wait at all. A doctor led the way towards one of the beds and told me to sit down. When he asked how I felt I was very tempted to say that it felt like I was hit by a truck but I thought it would be better to avoid my bitter humor.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8kxaorCzf
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VVfXBNohV
“Does it still hurt?” he asked as he took my pressure. Alex was standing on the end of the bed, his one arm against his chest and the other over it as his fingers were tracing his mouth; the whole time staring at me.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9ohQd2JCK
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZugTUC1fRI
“No,” I replied “But it tickles,” I frowned not sure if that was the right word to describe the feeling.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dT8rAA7dK
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlupxvN5dWT
“Mr. White, can you please pull the curtains close?” he asked Alex and then turned towards me. “Lift your shirt please, I need to listen to your heart,” he told me. I nodded not even thinking that Alex was there.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAbSo5tb4Q
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidWLuwG5cp
“Do you want me to …” Alex told me, pointing outside. I shook my head politely. It wasn’t like he would see anything he hasn’t seen before. That thought brought a scoff to my lips that I chocked as the doctor place the stethoscope to my chest and then my heart rate increased again.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQ6YD4YoMy
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDfJZH5ivT
“Take another deep breath please,” he told me and I noticed a light frown. My sight blurred for a moment but then I controlled myself and did what the doctor asked. “Okay, turn around,” he asked and I turned towards Alex; my top still upwards. I blinked to control the tears and gave a weak smile to Alex. “Okay,” the doctor exhaled and removed the stethoscope. I pulled down my top and turned towards him again.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2fRf5qr89
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjN6Ppw25IP
“You just had an anxiety attack,” he looked at me.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLAnkmly3r
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡva3aMtORWs
“But I’m not anxious about anything,” I frowned. I didn’t give damn about my classes at this point.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51D61jq4iR
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqxGZZGeXc
“From your symptoms, pounding heart, shortness of breath, hyperventilation and insomnia I can come up with one answer and that is anxiety attack,” he begun. “But I can say that grieving can also be a cause. Grieving is a powerful emotion that can have physical effects on our autonomic system and can even cause arrhythmias or bursting of weakened blood vessels,” the doctor explained. I wasn’t surprised he thought of “grief”; my red eyes were one of my symptoms.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQkFLmF7Tv
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVpEzjEw0J
“Oh,” was all I managed to say. “What can I do?” I asked.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjrnHrrIpU
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡep8FGy506O
“Because this have happened again in the past, I’m going to prescribe something to just calm you down,” he said.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuZufJw8Jg
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3vcrVvuEa
“Anti-depression drugs?” Alex asked.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGD0lhQznT
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoCHxp1xIV
“What?” I frowned “No,” I turned towards the doctor as I realized what drugs he meant. “I have my exams to study for,”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvlKYFqoD6
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7M06Zi2LR
“Alright, take one before you go to sleep for two nights in the row. It will help you sleep and rest. Then take them if you start having any symptoms again, okay?” the doctor smiled and wrote something on a paper and left it. “Though I don’t think it will happen again soon.”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ztPpg0UTq
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDc9ZXnqfIl
“Thank you Dr. Wallace,” Alex said as I nodded. The doctor smiled at him and shook his hand before leaving us alone. I exhaled deeply and got up from the bed. Alex walked next to me, his hand on the back of my waist as we exited the hospital.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKA74bJyun
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTiMlZF2NK
“That was interesting,” I smiled as approached the car. “Many people have been dumped before but how many were they diagnosed?” I laughed.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2b15E8TyDz
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcdt1x5whc
“I need to know that you’ll be okay,” Alex told me as he sat opened the passengers door for me.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ao3h7xINH
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53yGnaTzf3
“I’ll try,” I mumbled.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1NY8bBpv6
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRI5E9OVymK
[+++]402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGXQMmdKRH
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYLsC4l7S1
The next two days I did sleep well thanks to the drugs the doctor gave me but the third night was as the same as the first night I learned Damien left. I tossed and turned, curling up into a ball. I tried to avoid taking a pill again because I’ve heard that you can get addicted to anti-depressing’s.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGFG4yHS82
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2rFypBzF3
I wanted to hear his voice so bad; to hear that everything was okay. And I made the mistake to pick up my phone and call him; because this time he picked up. My heart almost exploded.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZIUQ6EaFj
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqxhhyAg8w
“What?” he asked so abruptly that made my heart shutter into a million pieces.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUDN85LrGL
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkW7g6Ge83n
“Hi,” I breathed.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXKJXXzIJk
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDt3fNc9YZc
“What the hell Erica?” he asked. I never thought it would hurt this bad to hear him calling my name “It’s four o’clock in the morning!” he replied; his tone cold and distant.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPS8y05LAaH
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIjJDJIBZF
“I’m sorry,” I whispered “I just needed to hear your voice,” I swallowed hard.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREXswpTgmg
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiS6NfdmQcA
“So what?”he breathed out. He sounded like he was struggling too but it still hurt so badly. Tears filled my eyes and I hung up the phone before throwing it at the end of the bed. I wasn’t ready for this. I fell against my pillow, covering my face and smothered the sound of my sobs.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuNow5KYRZ
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOmXtPlxV9
And that’s when it happened again; the pounding pain returned to my chest. I sat up trying to calm down and looked at my phone, thought of calling Alex but I didn’t want to wake him up. So I stood up and walked into the shower. But again, tears came out of nowhere. I couldn’t calm myself down. I wrapped my towel around my body, between sobs, and walked into the room again.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUy0Bb0bob
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkohhJsJWnP
“Yes?” Alex answered his phone sleepily.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8s42HWbGU
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ASaQrGGFT
“I’m sorry,” I said softly “I…” I trailed. And that’s when Alex must have realized it was me on the phone.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuNqkfekyX
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbvqt1faDd
“Are you okay?” he asked anxiously.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaIoBmvnoP
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWeZWVQzi8
“I don’t know,” I whispered but my breathing was still quick.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5rI9IIIkb
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfIX2hRrc3
“It happened again?”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9ZuqIsy8b
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdj9br1ngc
“Yes,” I breathed.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbXla3G7Tn
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICakrJLfDO
“Get dressed.” He said and hung up the phone; not even giving me the chance to argue with him.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlO3gXAzwQ0
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUHL6x8rLP
[+++]402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQSOiJUZOS
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCdqo0A5rd
This time the doctor that examined me thought it was best to keep me in. He said that it was suspicious for a girl my age to get those episodes so regularly. I tried to delay notifying my mother as much as possible as I didn’t want to scare her. I was lying in a bed, with stickers against my chest and my heart beat was beeping through a machine for the entire room to hear.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKS1J4gYZ09
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTud6MnbmSh
“You need to call your mother,” Alex said from the foot of the bed. I studied him for a moment and noticed that I never saw him dressed so casual and I frowned.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JB2OBpAJo
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡih2CGX2L1T
“You’re not wearing a button up shirt,” I stated. He chuckled and shook his head.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB2q7dvPSV
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmg33HRoILx
“Yeah, sorry,” he smiled “I didn’t have time for a formal outfit,” he mocked.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSyN5gftRG
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqpgt2XjcQ
“Thank you for coming,” I smiled at him. He looked at me for a moment and then sat down at the end of the bed; exhaling deeply.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3EY8XY3u4
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWObKdtRjT
“Three days ago, when you’re having that episode, you said something,” he begun “You said that you keep doing this to yourself,” he said. I felt uncomfortable and the beeping sound on the machine picked up. He looked at the machine for a second and then took my hand in his. I swallowed waiting to hear what he would say next. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time,” he sighed.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTHW0Lgs7p
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmYOifiQUe
“What? You’ve lost me,” I frowned.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtclNghB8v
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9c7TkMoeHP
“If we haven’t met that night, you wouldn’t be in here now,” he explained but I was still lost.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoYQ9UmBWG
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxEXnWSRA6
“Alex, what are you talking about?”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPm0PT6Z5M
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlQdk44Lq4
“I’ve been thinking about this since that night at the club you had the first episode,” he explained and that’s when I realized what he was talking about. That night when we were out together after the second time we got together. I couldn’t breathe inside the club and accidentally told him this was happening often since he left.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqH0dAMCN81
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcLA0kEzCS
“Oh my God,” I frowned “This isn’t your fault,” I breathed and tried to sit up.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjIdx9Tgzt
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fX2cTboao
“Stay down,” he said and stopped me from getting up “This is my fault. I damaged you so badly and he…” he trailed. The thought of Damien brought a sharp pain into my chest that made me ignore what he said.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BxecHJ9bb
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4cayEXmFP
“He broke me,” I smiled a humorless smile; the machine giving me in. Alex looked towards it and stood up.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxytQN3W9VA
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5VaX5IgrM
“Damn it, I shouldn’t have brought this up now,” he frowned. “Here,” he said and gave me my phone “Call your mother. It’s seven a.m.”402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdN7wWFVT3q
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUBnHSmVQv
I looked at him and sighed. It was best to hear it from me that I was in the hospital; to see that it wasn’t anything serious. Or at least I hoped it wasn’t.402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaRBdDvjUo
♠ ♠ ♠
Title Credit:402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlT27Iis8Vf
Conjure One - Tears From the Moon402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaAGlFqdPR
