暑假篇:釋懷551Please respect copyright.PENANAYPsjbFIQPT
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「你真喺Alvin啊?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAAyH9hGDk7J
那名女生仍然一臉難以置信地問著我。551Please respect copyright.PENANAMgUefidLjs
其實此刻,在我心一樣徘徊著同樣的問題「你真喺Ivy啊」。551Please respect copyright.PENANA7KqWRm2RK3
但是對於記性好的我來說,當然知道她就是Ivy了。551Please respect copyright.PENANAs4PkgdrOpz
雖然她把過往的長髮修剪為及肩短髮,並開始佩帶起眼鏡。551Please respect copyright.PENANApBcgUGBqsA
然而她那張熟悉的臉孔,仍然存在於腦海之中。551Please respect copyright.PENANA9g9kbSH841
最糟糕的就是……我在一瞬間也回憶起,她哭泣著的容貌。551Please respect copyright.PENANAFNhPymQcCd
亦都是多年前,我最後一次看見她的時候……551Please respect copyright.PENANASuANv7Igk8
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「我哋好耐無見啦!有無……有無三年啦?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAejUL0PmWf1
Ivy在一陣驚訝過後,便隨即臉帶笑容說道。551Please respect copyright.PENANAJhJo1QLri1
再見時是哭著,現在重遇卻是笑著,是多麼矛盾的事情……551Please respect copyright.PENANAEYCgmx9aWi
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「正確嚟講應該喺四年啦。」我回應她。551Please respect copyright.PENANA3Kc3oOlQr9
而她在聽到我的更正後,也立即數著手指:「一、二、三、四……喺喎!原來已經四年囉,嘻嘻!」551Please respect copyright.PENANANggBfZ7py9
看著她傻笑起來的樣子,我的心中卻逐漸產生起一種感覺。551Please respect copyright.PENANAwnpRGNuSc3
一種難以形容的內疚感。551Please respect copyright.PENANA3BmUyf9oLU
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而在她的一陣傻笑過後,她似乎也察覺到了我並沒有多說話。551Please respect copyright.PENANAAi10xdgixe
於是她便接著再說:「Alvin,你成個人成熟咗。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA0dNZLCshbK
「喺……喺咩。」我稍為避開了她的目光說道。551Please respect copyright.PENANA3r3qk1Ww1h
隨即視線也落在她的長袖衣上。551Please respect copyright.PENANATTaKjrSNFR
明明現在是夏天,外面三十多度,但她還是穿著長袖。551Please respect copyright.PENANAqg0PLvXRkJ
是用來遮掩著手臂嗎?551Please respect copyright.PENANAGAiDUAUKqh
是用來遮掩著手臂上的傷痕嗎?551Please respect copyright.PENANAuGgbUemrmq
是用來遮掩著手臂上因為我而弄出來的傷痕嗎?551Please respect copyright.PENANAsp1l7fogwC
單是回想起昨晚Mandy所說的畫面,我便不禁倒抽了一口氣。551Please respect copyright.PENANAN9RCg6Ty2Y
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「Alvin,你介意緊以前嘅事啊?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAhIKbeLImRu
Ivy很快也發現了我的目光落在她的衣袖上,於是隨即便把衣袖卷起。551Please respect copyright.PENANAXf1Xbfn9tQ
展露了手臂上的數條疤痕。551Please respect copyright.PENANAOrEEVaAzHO
這一瞬間,我的心涼了。551Please respect copyright.PENANA19QG8R0OAr
原來這就是我當時的決定,而導致的後果了嗎……551Please respect copyright.PENANANnjk9LQi9z
我沉默了數秒,接著也開口說:「對唔住。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAru3bWVN7NN
道歉,因為當時我傷害了她的心。551Please respect copyright.PENANAVegDqaooKz
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「哎呀!做咩道歉啦你?」Ivy立即愕然地說道。551Please respect copyright.PENANApSfCOSgKeN
我沒有回應她,只是繼續沉默著。551Please respect copyright.PENANA6sMo3NH8vj
使得她隨即也皺眉頭起來,並思考了數秒後說:「睇嚟Alvin你真喺好介意以前嘅事……真喺好對唔住!」551Please respect copyright.PENANAxANNuA7cte
然而在她話後,她卻立即向我九十度鞠躬道歉起來。551Please respect copyright.PENANAiOYKPtj7pf
這次輪到我感到錯愕起來並立即說:「做……做咩突然道歉啦?!」551Please respect copyright.PENANABcDKty3we2
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「因為當年我一時嘅衝動,搞到Alvin你原來一直都介懷於心!真喺好對唔住!」Ivy繼續面朝地板說著。551Please respect copyright.PENANAUtVphxLNjv
使得我都開始有點不知所措起來,只能不斷揮動手臂,示意她快抬起頭來。551Please respect copyright.PENANAobgAZPQm7B
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於是Ivy也快速地把頭抬來,然後雙眼注視著我說:「如果喺一年前嘅我,我諗依家一定喊哂口。不過依家嘅我已經對一切都釋懷,所以希望Alvin都唔好因為當年嘅事而怪責自己!」551Please respect copyright.PENANAPS6rexufHR
「我自責緊……?」我疑惑地重複她最後一句話。551Please respect copyright.PENANABtRSaEOwDM
而她只是隨即指向我並說:「我識少少心理學架!所以咪睇得出你自責緊!」551Please respect copyright.PENANA5kpCrGBFEI
是嗎,原來我一直都在自責著……551Please respect copyright.PENANAHeCrWjj4lr
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「其實講真啊,我都估唔到我哋會咁樣相遇翻,突然之間覺得所有嘢都好似喺琴日發生咁。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA7lFVPFdbxb
「如果當時我唔拒……」當我打算開口說道的時候,Ivy卻再說:「唔可以。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA3mTmzY3aUB
「吓?咩唔可以?」我瞬間愣住。551Please respect copyright.PENANAYoQeP9BSuS
而她只是搖一搖頭,並說:「唔可以因為要迎合其他人,而強迫自己失去咗自我。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAKXzp9SsCcO
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她的這句話如同子彈一樣,一下子打穿了我的大腦。551Please respect copyright.PENANAvxGkTPBADA
她說得沒有錯,我一直以來都是在扮演著一個只會迎合其他人的角色。551Please respect copyright.PENANAVbExZQWDpJ
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「以前我一直都會諗,如果Alvin你無拒絕我,究竟之後會點。」她說道。551Please respect copyright.PENANARUMfCbzM0n
而我思考了一會後,便說:「我哋會一齊咗,跟住就唔會發生之後嘅事?」551Please respect copyright.PENANABm6zlmz9wo
「喺,我哋喺會一齊,但喺一切都只喺因為你唔想hurt我,而強迫自己同我一齊,咁樣嘅話,我哋根本就唔會過得開心!」551Please respect copyright.PENANAaYOfFQrVmq
她說著的時候,語氣明顯變得有點激動起來。551Please respect copyright.PENANAZR5NOHRa05
但她仍然繼續說道:「咁所以,唔好再因為我嘅事而怪責自己啦!我依家過得好好,識咗一班好室友,佢哋仲教識咗我好多唔會嘅正向觀念。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAsMNDDH6qpc
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而在她的一番言論後,我便合上嘴巴,並閉上雙眼,大腦開始思考起來。551Please respect copyright.PENANA489odGvLpy
因為當初Ivy的事件,我變得開始只會迎合他人。551Please respect copyright.PENANAGJW5ObnyiP
後來與Mandy交往後,我開始執著於承諾。551Please respect copyright.PENANArrgM2q1B0z
結識依玲及Venus後,我仍然只是一直在配合著她們對我的心意而行。551Please respect copyright.PENANAinMSahwnLB
一時是好朋友、一時是前度、一時是曖昧對象。551Please respect copyright.PENANAmvS9LiMrEG
到底我的真正想法是甚麼?551Please respect copyright.PENANAoE7rfqHHns
而為什麼,我又會落得如此的地步呢……551Please respect copyright.PENANAFI1oolWzvw
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想著想著,我便不自覺地冷笑了一下。551Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZChrOsxnN
而Ivy也隨即說:「所以希望你唔好再自責啦。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA2JrVnJwvul
我慢慢地張開眼睛,然後看著她說:「多謝你,我諗我諗通咗啲嘢啦。」551Please respect copyright.PENANATXt5F6Bnpo
其實一直迷失著的人,原來就是我自己。551Please respect copyright.PENANArHd5ueboZn
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「見翻你,可能喺種緣份,喺上天安排我哋再相遇翻,然後解開心結。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA9HcUjtUGU5
「心結?你唔喺話你釋懷咗啦咩?」我好奇問道。551Please respect copyright.PENANAOzh6Atc1uh
但Ivy接著卻突然面紅耳赤起來,並說話變得有點口吃起來:「對你喺釋懷……但對另一個人唔喺……」551Please respect copyright.PENANAkcxar6OTlf
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「喂!學生妹原來你喺到啊!」551Please respect copyright.PENANAYIgTmPrXsC
此時,從我的後方傳來了一把男聲。551Please respect copyright.PENANATTVvMQ5PLH
於是我便立刻扭頭過去查看,發現原來是剛剛那位受我邀請完成任務的Youtuber以及他的另外兩位朋友。551Please respect copyright.PENANANq5AlfbCyW
而從他剛才的對話推斷,他們應該是認識Ivy的……551Please respect copyright.PENANA4eymA5yw69
莫非Ivy所說的室友就是他們嗎?!551Please respect copyright.PENANAhFE8NrJbbN
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接下來,其中一名男生更走到我們的身旁時,並稍為打量了一下我。551Please respect copyright.PENANAp7hZIWSIvJ
然後就一臉恍然地向Ivy說:「哦!原來就喺佢!」551Please respect copyright.PENANAzxKvSekCAy
「嗯?」我立刻擺出了一個疑惑樣子。551Please respect copyright.PENANAhSXYAYBFrJ
甚麼原來就是我?551Please respect copyright.PENANAogJclAm9Ga
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然而,那名男生並沒有理會我的反應,只是繼續與Ivy說:551Please respect copyright.PENANAhNLitCGnaP
「你要講嘅嘢喺咪講哂啦?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAr0ZQCnQ5t0
「講哂啦!」Ivy立即回應對方,並表情瞬間變得更害羞起來。551Please respect copyright.PENANArnk8Z5gelm
而我對於他們的對話,仍然感到萬分不解。551Please respect copyright.PENANAGMoNrSAsG7
但是那名Youtuber也隨即向我說:「我哋幫你哋做完任務啦!記得subscribe同like多啲我啊!」551Please respect copyright.PENANAtOrQIAJqao
接著,那三名男生便與Ivy一同向我作了一個簡易的道別。551Please respect copyright.PENANAOU88chh63H
然後就轉身從圖書館的另一個出口離開了。551Please respect copyright.PENANA1UsX8dnsAj
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與此同時,也只留下了完全摸不清頭緒的我並自言自起來:551Please respect copyright.PENANAI48jetbXFn
「到底講緊咩啦……」551Please respect copyright.PENANAL32ghovbUb
不過既然今天能重遇Ivy,並得知她至今還過得挺好的。551Please respect copyright.PENANAU0KGALAk8y
我想……應該是時候要放過一下自己了。551Please respect copyright.PENANArm6ixRudSI
當年的內疚,應該都會逐漸消散了。551Please respect copyright.PENANA5951m48cah
這算是解決了我人生其中一個遺憾了吧?551Please respect copyright.PENANAHs4fCeU4oQ
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但是,在解開了過往的困惑同時。551Please respect copyright.PENANAFfMq5p9Ibi
也提醒了我,在未來,我將再次需要作出選擇。551Please respect copyright.PENANAxJqOy7omHK
而且還是三個那麼多……551Please respect copyright.PENANAC7GPHAspJI
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「只有釋懷,才能夠走更遠的路」551Please respect copyright.PENANAAvXB2U0IzH
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作者閒聊:連動篇總算告一段落了。在不久將來,Ivy還是會再次出現喔,不過那已經是第二個故事了~551Please respect copyright.PENANANiyhw5SgTA