「Hi」357Please respect copyright.PENANAL7syIZ6DRV
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即使配對成功,在Bumble上都必須由女生發起第一句開場白,男生才能開始聊天。儘管如此,但仍然有些女生只發「Hi」過來。然而,當我查看著她個人檔案,去想開場白時,有時還真的無從入手,然後我又草率地回一句同樣的「Hi」,結果大家都猜到,就是不了了之。因為有些女生上載的照片只有一張,甚至連個人簡介也懶得寫,結果我便無從入手了。357Please respect copyright.PENANAAQTQMDWRCQ
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在交友app上要約人的話,就是一個字——「快」。357Please respect copyright.PENANAlgAgypYlkw
357Please respect copyright.PENANAtdW9F6Od4P
配對過多個女生,也多次嘗試提出約會,早已熟透了約會的流程:一,開場白;,二,尋找時間;三,安排約會。357Please respect copyright.PENANAybCM8uKLy4
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開場白早已熟練得易如反掌,至於第二步和第三步嘛⋯⋯我就是發覺:通常不是自己的問題,就是對方的問題;如果是後者的因素為主,基本上就是無解。357Please respect copyright.PENANA9ILQnFS2i8
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累積下來的經驗告訴我,其實在app裡,真正願意出來見面的女生,根本沒有想像的多。很多女生通常都是懷著「解悶」、「找人消磨時間」,甚至是「收兵」的心態來使用交友app。你說有沒有正經的人?當然也有,但是整體比例還是不見得高。357Please respect copyright.PENANAo2fcnnCZzC
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從我使用Tinder和Bumble的經驗,我可以告訴大家,如果你是正常的男生,大概就是每10個配對之中,才會有1個女生真正陪伴你出來。357Please respect copyright.PENANA4C4r9yVK80
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為甚麼我特別強調「才會」?就是要強調:其實在app上真正願意出來見面的人,沒有想像的多;所以自己的心態也要先調整好,不然只有處處受傷。357Please respect copyright.PENANAVzK78qe3Jc
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要知道,顏值稍為好一點(或者是懂得修圖的話),尤其當今網紅主義當道之下,女生在app上是絕對可以在同時被幾百個男生追求;換言之,男生發給她的信息,隨時化為萬中無一,極難在幾百個男生之中突圍而出,引起她的注意。女生在這種環境下猶如皇妃選子一樣,男生猶如貨品般地任人選擇,失去了主導權;女生也很容易自視過高,「吊高嚟賣」。357Please respect copyright.PENANA3YUpGxXvOZ
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所以,身為生理上男生的我,在這半年間,漸漸也養成一種心態:把交友軟體當作手遊來看,不要成為這個手遊的奴隸,期望愈少,失望自然愈少。把它當作一種消閑遊戲,至於能否交到女朋友,就當成一種額外獎勵。357Please respect copyright.PENANA52D99YqUxa
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每次配對之後,我都是先跟據對方的個人檔案,為她「量身定做」一句開場白,然後大家都會圍繞著開場白聊上幾句。從開頭的幾回合,大可以知道對方對自己有沒有興趣,例如她回覆的文字長短、頻率、表情符號等等,乃至於她有沒有留意到自己的個人檔案;而且可以簡單判斷她是否詐騙集團、直銷,從而判斷有沒有約會見面的價值。357Please respect copyright.PENANAtChERdK31r
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然後來到第二步和第三步,也就是約人,這裡見真章;因為會有很多原本聊得好地地的女生,突然變成已讀不回。我常用的句子就是:你下個星期有冇時間出嚟?357Please respect copyright.PENANA3YdI4nL0gI
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來到了這一步,通常我都會得到的回應:357Please respect copyright.PENANAvzMWIreuaf
1.)正面回應「Yes」。357Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3sBw6Ui0Y
2.)正面回應「No」,然後就說沒有空,或者其他的理由。357Please respect copyright.PENANAsIgNtdEJ3X
3.)直接被已讀不回。357Please respect copyright.PENANA7u445L5dV6
4.)會繞過、轉移話題,或者跟自己說「傾多陣先啦」、「了解多陣先啦」。357Please respect copyright.PENANAL7noMUeqV6
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如果只是反應2,那大可以過幾天再嘗試;但如果是反應3或4,基本上就是無解,這種情況對方很可能正在挑選男生,甚至「收兵」,或者太多男生找她,所以她沒空逐一理會。357Please respect copyright.PENANAbd8dvDwROl
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一月中旬,在一個和暖的冬日,我窩在被子裡,剛好在放假,在懶床的我剛剛睡醒。357Please respect copyright.PENANAsX5BMBHDuS
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冷天氣再加上舒適的被窩,使我即使醒了也不願下床,於是我隨手執起放在床邊的手機。357Please respect copyright.PENANAo8epWjmpa1
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Bumble發了通知給我,原來我又有新配對了。357Please respect copyright.PENANAFmNpxJEiRj
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Priscilla,25歲,比我大一年,大頭照的她戴上了圓框眼鏡,揹著背囊,望向鏡頭嫣然一笑。那自然的笑,弄出兩個小酒窩。357Please respect copyright.PENANAQnaMbfNQbP
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「你是易服癖還是?」357Please respect copyright.PENANADA7s8awgtj
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按進聊天箱,便看到她發給我的開場白。其實我很討厭使用「易服」這個字眼,過去實在有太多媒體使用這個字眼,來報道負面新聞,結果這容易令人誤以為,穿女裝就跟變態一詞劃上等號,是對偽娘一族群的污名化。357Please respect copyright.PENANAapeXRi8Dea
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雖然不知道Priscilla說這句說話是有意還是無意,但我不會因為這一句開場白就直接判她死刑。357Please respect copyright.PENANAzkOvKsEkPO
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我:只是想當偽娘357Please respect copyright.PENANASwninykbun
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Priscilla:那你喜歡的是男還是女?357Please respect copyright.PENANAzLlJlCQWms
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我:女357Please respect copyright.PENANA1VxwS3kfLc
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看她的文字,應該是大陸人吧?不過她的每字每句都從不打簡體字的。357Please respect copyright.PENANA5Ov87I4BdO
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我:我平日也少很穿女裝。357Please respect copyright.PENANAiBw1QY6zdb
我:都是男裝為主。357Please respect copyright.PENANAme6FHSXU4u
我:你應該都看到我的男裝吧?357Please respect copyright.PENANATMYTl4Xsd4
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Priscilla:哈哈357Please respect copyright.PENANAVYDy1LhWzG
Priscilla:(宇智波)鼬?357Please respect copyright.PENANAxfCZnEsw8W
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我:不是!那只是在cosplay 活動穿。357Please respect copyright.PENANAwnaRt1SCps
我:對啦,你下個星期有時間去cafe嗎?357Please respect copyright.PENANAzo3D6Jb8AT
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Priscilla:可以呀。357Please respect copyright.PENANALZkRbL7JQH
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我:那,下星期一就去urban cafe一起看貓?357Please respect copyright.PENANA52HfKoxTQ1
我:在旺角出站357Please respect copyright.PENANAkiFM7GjPTM
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Priscilla:好呀。357Please respect copyright.PENANA65ZzZhFe10
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安排好約會之後的幾天裡,我都幾乎沒有刻意去聊天,基本上是不用長期聊天的。357Please respect copyright.PENANASXD9EWuIdz
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「明日4點旺角D出口等?」357Please respect copyright.PENANAeV4kPnxNNZ
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「好呀。」357Please respect copyright.PENANAM3OOmFRt4j
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直接等到見面前的一天,發信息確認一次就好,見面時沒有放鴿子就要很感恩上天了。357Please respect copyright.PENANA99JEMVK41I
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1月17日,如我一向作風,一對一的見面,就當然是穿最好的男裝出來;也如先前的安排,我在旺角站初遇Priscilla。357Please respect copyright.PENANAmCRZ9G9MXA
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現實見到的她,跟網上的她,樣子上必定有分別,我早已做好了心理準備。還好,沒有想像的差,大概接近平均值,4.5/10吧,說不上很差。她的樣子只有在笑的時候才好看,平日不笑時卻顯得有點臉僵。357Please respect copyright.PENANArTNW1ZJoEP
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Priscilla:點樣行?357Please respect copyright.PENANA1wdXKA2iEX
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原來她也會講廣東話,而且發音也很純正。357Please respect copyright.PENANAozQw5Y4o1x
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我身穿白色系的男裝外套,而她穿的是紅色系的廿蓬鬆過膝裙,很漢服風格。那身高大概在160-165cm,都是我的理想型,因為剛好能與我這個180cm的男生相配。357Please respect copyright.PENANAwTCdkStMia
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2022,在疫情肆虐下的香港,大陸也封關了,旺角裡那些施著行李箱、沒有修養的大媽也消聲匿跡,只見人人都戴上口罩,偶爾有本地的樂團在西洋菜南街上唱著抒情的廣東話歌,我喜歡這樣的市容(雖然我知道旺角街道一向都不好得去哪)。357Please respect copyright.PENANAPoUWTPT8w0
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我:我帶你行,係呢邊。357Please respect copyright.PENANACaebXz0bT5
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於是,我就為Priscilla帶路。357Please respect copyright.PENANAFIiUy0ttRa