在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。499Please respect copyright.PENANA3aFnZoBchO
499Please respect copyright.PENANAVoXYOs3Kh2
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:499Please respect copyright.PENANA6OhQmVwbIG
499Please respect copyright.PENANAX0rVb6GQDJ
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?499Please respect copyright.PENANAuzcYZlJp7g
499Please respect copyright.PENANAxk1MARTinq
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊499Please respect copyright.PENANAbtIUt2vKI4
499Please respect copyright.PENANAa1BRUGGSCS
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。499Please respect copyright.PENANAtqtHnDaGZH
499Please respect copyright.PENANA1XpxRWmpCJ
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。499Please respect copyright.PENANAIGV0QZ53YU
499Please respect copyright.PENANAUjqNdDftKJ
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!499Please respect copyright.PENANAp2Rmn76l1k
499Please respect copyright.PENANAz0wy93HL2M
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。499Please respect copyright.PENANAliHJxHSoOi
499Please respect copyright.PENANAFXzwlmR2V5
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。499Please respect copyright.PENANAh0RoDpoSOb
499Please respect copyright.PENANAEpl6EtXHJR
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。499Please respect copyright.PENANAS2r9xAzsIV
499Please respect copyright.PENANA7nwAMEK4Me
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。499Please respect copyright.PENANAZgewb8kY06
499Please respect copyright.PENANApA22W1ZQ6w
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。499Please respect copyright.PENANAo62xL0ZUmY
499Please respect copyright.PENANAxoM7XxIwFo
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊499Please respect copyright.PENANAoQW4xbEPur
499Please respect copyright.PENANAvncvb4nMbW
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣499Please respect copyright.PENANAS0pFMHmzIl
499Please respect copyright.PENANAFaBxcj1C6t
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?499Please respect copyright.PENANA6JJkOvqIH3
499Please respect copyright.PENANADgENA7YIaW
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我499Please respect copyright.PENANAjcm2offMhq
Annie:我真係好自卑499Please respect copyright.PENANAXf3jw4U58X
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有499Please respect copyright.PENANAlK1qdhykVI
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。499Please respect copyright.PENANA4Bu8o7z4Xv
499Please respect copyright.PENANAElXe4AS60s
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。499Please respect copyright.PENANAbyVk1BHo2h
499Please respect copyright.PENANAh5Truu5yYw
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。499Please respect copyright.PENANAuZiBiYNRTw
499Please respect copyright.PENANAuIMr84Fz7p
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。499Please respect copyright.PENANAPlW93Xqjo1
499Please respect copyright.PENANAR54kYnqDK5
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。499Please respect copyright.PENANA2Y91mXYVZe
499Please respect copyright.PENANAW5edeBocO6
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。499Please respect copyright.PENANATzNR3wiM7v
499Please respect copyright.PENANAaHiozVxAdN
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?499Please respect copyright.PENANAYYkCzODcyr
499Please respect copyright.PENANABvjLZg7gsH
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。499Please respect copyright.PENANA7b8ZKZBBWt
499Please respect copyright.PENANAN2XVG3qx4o
我:我好想食豬扒飯。499Please respect copyright.PENANAqE8efadpMB
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊499Please respect copyright.PENANAarjjACENWj
499Please respect copyright.PENANAV12uLaiIyQ
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!499Please respect copyright.PENANAnjplKHB6tv
499Please respect copyright.PENANA2imPAQKDTH
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。499Please respect copyright.PENANAeGWfDABBdd
499Please respect copyright.PENANAQM2Z5i2DrH
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊499Please respect copyright.PENANADRehUzAZmm
499Please respect copyright.PENANABbKVNeqs2j
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑499Please respect copyright.PENANA6T8plJo8aO
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒499Please respect copyright.PENANApiFPqgcYUf
499Please respect copyright.PENANAfEZg9mVOsN
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。499Please respect copyright.PENANAwB2BGAYCN9
499Please respect copyright.PENANA7mPddG6wgz
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。499Please respect copyright.PENANAwTk13N140G
499Please respect copyright.PENANAIWDbNmVBQp
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。499Please respect copyright.PENANA942CcVuzBn
499Please respect copyright.PENANA1q47nlAUuJ
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。499Please respect copyright.PENANAqqYaiuERXL
499Please respect copyright.PENANAuJClGvtPRQ
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。499Please respect copyright.PENANAtgxE8YjseK
499Please respect copyright.PENANAkYQAQDfZHE
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。499Please respect copyright.PENANAc8TPUUGJd4
499Please respect copyright.PENANAO1AcuF13NL
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?499Please respect copyright.PENANA2RSBmFIUyl
499Please respect copyright.PENANAOf7RT1CaLM
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。499Please respect copyright.PENANACEASG4BQ8v
499Please respect copyright.PENANAyvZJqh9XuI
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。499Please respect copyright.PENANAEf9DWulT02
499Please respect copyright.PENANAyJNXLIufZl
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。499Please respect copyright.PENANAr6kKokmiOm
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺499Please respect copyright.PENANAsHzCpLDaIU
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走499Please respect copyright.PENANAoGYQSDllBy
499Please respect copyright.PENANAQ31xIGCfSM
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊499Please respect copyright.PENANALWmHktJV1n
499Please respect copyright.PENANAx3VND4qBAX
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大499Please respect copyright.PENANAgGJXu2Vh6V
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身499Please respect copyright.PENANA39Z1h8JmLd
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J499Please respect copyright.PENANAePeuM8VrO4
499Please respect copyright.PENANANOULMONj5b
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊499Please respect copyright.PENANAsH4BRefSL3
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊499Please respect copyright.PENANACimBCmqr4w
499Please respect copyright.PENANAr6OqcN6itB
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。499Please respect copyright.PENANARPXWq2EnBy
499Please respect copyright.PENANAddEmtfPEZR
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。499Please respect copyright.PENANAomgoE1J4Ja
499Please respect copyright.PENANA2GfRC1kYbx
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。499Please respect copyright.PENANAlT82CQfizt
499Please respect copyright.PENANAYpBSttTubV
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?499Please respect copyright.PENANA9hFygGfAiT
499Please respect copyright.PENANA2ZXM4IENef
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊499Please respect copyright.PENANACLF8IkrKpf
499Please respect copyright.PENANAQTxYgCXvxV
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊499Please respect copyright.PENANAqfSfKhsE4g
499Please respect copyright.PENANARV9CBB9LA3
我:我憑直覺亂估咋499Please respect copyright.PENANAtv98VXmwag
499Please respect copyright.PENANApwznHxR6RB
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?499Please respect copyright.PENANAqAbHtoz434
499Please respect copyright.PENANAnUXCIn0ECR
我思索了一會,然後回覆。499Please respect copyright.PENANA232JTc91s6
499Please respect copyright.PENANAoPSWImVODM
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。499Please respect copyright.PENANAQqSVYaAm3P
499Please respect copyright.PENANAjOyJP38qyR
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。499Please respect copyright.PENANARKup17tc7C
499Please respect copyright.PENANAExcyOM9JPu
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy499Please respect copyright.PENANAb0e39d6xZR
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度499Please respect copyright.PENANANCkeYGHPls
499Please respect copyright.PENANAzUPwhXtrI1
我:你本身都係bi?499Please respect copyright.PENANATKml8VEtIr
499Please respect copyright.PENANAqghmkAkOzi
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑499Please respect copyright.PENANAwAjgp1uC6o
499Please respect copyright.PENANAfUvkSXwHfz
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水499Please respect copyright.PENANAR16eqHC0ID
499Please respect copyright.PENANAVF9fqm8Nm0
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?499Please respect copyright.PENANAEeJyXe0tYH
499Please respect copyright.PENANAb626w6lGu6
我:人工閪😏499Please respect copyright.PENANAHsS13cM1Sz
499Please respect copyright.PENANAAZVeg7HfY7
Annie:😳😳499Please respect copyright.PENANAj3iAFhniTl
499Please respect copyright.PENANA1SLNZRlqnz
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊499Please respect copyright.PENANA7VwV96f7xL
499Please respect copyright.PENANAnJuUnTTMSE
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?