在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aFnZoBchO
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoXYOs3Kh2
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OhQmVwbIG
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0rVb6GQDJ
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzcYZlJp7g
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxk1MARTinq
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtIUt2vKI4
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1BRUGGSCS
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqtHnDaGZH
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XpxRWmpCJ
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGV0QZ53YU
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjqNdDftKJ
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2Rmn76l1k
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0wy93HL2M
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliHJxHSoOi
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXzwlmR2V5
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0RoDpoSOb
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpl6EtXHJR
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2r9xAzsIV
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nwAMEK4Me
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgewb8kY06
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpA22W1ZQ6w
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo62xL0ZUmY
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoM7XxIwFo
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQW4xbEPur
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvncvb4nMbW
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0pFMHmzIl
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaBxcj1C6t
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JJkOvqIH3
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgENA7YIaW
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcm2offMhq
Annie：我真係好自卑499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXf3jw4U58X
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlK1qdhykVI
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Bu8o7z4Xv
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElXe4AS60s
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyVk1BHo2h
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5Truu5yYw
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZiBiYNRTw
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIMr84Fz7p
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlW93Xqjo1
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR54kYnqDK5
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y91mXYVZe
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5edeBocO6
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzNR3wiM7v
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHiozVxAdN
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYkCzODcyr
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvjLZg7gsH
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7b8ZKZBBWt
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2XVG3qx4o
我：我好想食豬扒飯。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqE8efadpMB
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarjjACENWj
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV12uLaiIyQ
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjplKHB6tv
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2imPAQKDTH
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGWfDABBdd
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQM2Z5i2DrH
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRehUzAZmm
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbKVNeqs2j
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6T8plJo8aO
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiFPqgcYUf
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEZg9mVOsN
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwB2BGAYCN9
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mPddG6wgz
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTk13N140G
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWDbNmVBQp
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ942CcVuzBn
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1q47nlAUuJ
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqYaiuERXL
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJClGvtPRQ
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgxE8YjseK
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYQAQDfZHE
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8TPUUGJd4
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1AcuF13NL
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RSBmFIUyl
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOf7RT1CaLM
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEASG4BQ8v
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvZJqh9XuI
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEf9DWulT02
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJNXLIufZl
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6kKokmiOm
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHzCpLDaIU
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGYQSDllBy
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ31xIGCfSM
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWmHktJV1n
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3VND4qBAX
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGJXu2Vh6V
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39Z1h8JmLd
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePeuM8VrO4
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOULMONj5b
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsH4BRefSL3
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCimBCmqr4w
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6OqcN6itB
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPXWq2EnBy
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddEmtfPEZR
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomgoE1J4Ja
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GfRC1kYbx
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlT82CQfizt
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpBSttTubV
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hFygGfAiT
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZXM4IENef
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLF8IkrKpf
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTxYgCXvxV
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfSfKhsE4g
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRV9CBB9LA3
我：我憑直覺亂估咋499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtv98VXmwag
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwznHxR6RB
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAbHtoz434
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUXCIn0ECR
我思索了一會，然後回覆。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ232JTc91s6
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPSWImVODM
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqSVYaAm3P
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOyJP38qyR
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKup17tc7C
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExcyOM9JPu
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0e39d6xZR
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCkeYGHPls
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUPwhXtrI1
我：你本身都係bi？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKml8VEtIr
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqghmkAkOzi
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAjgp1uC6o
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUvkSXwHfz
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR16eqHC0ID
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVF9fqm8Nm0
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeJyXe0tYH
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb626w6lGu6
我：人工閪😏499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsS13cM1Sz
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZVeg7HfY7
Annie：😳😳499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3iAFhniTl
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SLNZRlqnz
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VwV96f7xL
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJuUnTTMSE
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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