「咁你呢，又點呀？」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ye4bGeRSS
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLkFHCVxfF
阿樂問。這段時間，他和青青接觸得不多，他們的吃飯時間，各有各。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZ6y2AjX7X
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LSUIRPCfr
「托賴，幾好吖。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzenwSmCp9d
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusbYIRKK8v
「你咁樣叫幾好？咪玩啦。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1H5vJ5jTlq
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOwK8DKdGY
即使不夠光，但阿樂還是看得出青青的憔悴，突然又說：「上磅睇吓。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2riKyvgI4u
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7JKsprcnu
阿樂想確認是不是他的錯覺——他覺得青青越來越瘦。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yTyqt0N5H
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFobEsL1IbZ
然後搬出體重磅，叫她站上去，電子屏幕顯示37.1kg，身高只得米五多一點的她其實不特別瘦，只是脂肪輕。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzltFX9W9d1
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1wKZCe5pL
「搞咩啊，宜家仲要係夜晚，啫係已經重咗……772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScZ9cg7rmB
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQMkMKxm6z
我煮啲飯唔好食咩？你遲啲返到屋企，你阿媽會唔會以為我哋唔俾飽飯你食㗎？」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhqQmDkN8o
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTwYTChtZR
阿樂卻知道她的臉一點點地削下去，原本包得很的圓臉已經消減，和她Instagram的舊相差很遠。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiXR9bNcVV
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdRwmiPufp
「好食吖，已經慢慢食多咗㗎啦！未到啫未到啫。」她說。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7wmg6ta7J
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBffVUFqbF
失戀之後，青青的身體差了很多。晚上失眠只在被窩裏漆黑地消耗入睡的耐心，入睡之後卻不斷醒來，有時被雨聲吵醒，有時是發夢嚇醒，有時就是不知何故就醒，每天都只能睡一會兒。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBwoZW10mU
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy07gy2n412
白天的胃口不是特別好，總感覺整個人都很暈。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4s6zHeZrX
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ASqa82qca
她有吃飯，但也就是為了活命吃的，有時感覺不到餓就隨便吃兩口，即使阿樂煮得很好。晚上又會忽然有心癮暴食，吃完之後又覺得愧疚。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CNPxNSf4N
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6r7Zq2CUBg
她的憔悴體現在臉上，眼皮的膠原蛋白流失，眼窩就變深，令她的雙眼皮有點老氣。黑眼圈也明顯，連上眼皮都像塗了大地色系眼影一樣。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJwqd4GVXJ
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98kze9FUfm
月經來了一個多星期後，下體又少量出血，不知何故；頭髮大把大把的掉，面臨少年脫髮危機；胃在反覆的飽和餓之間，經常隱隱作痛。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWy14Gw8xU
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3e8wq9MoQ
每天都不想做任何事。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8Eb9L9fzq
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvYoc2OGVZ
如果看數字，她確實跌磅了，上年的八月她比現在重五公斤。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHXLqXBL0R
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OrDAYaMyj
明明，她是她家人、朋友的寶，為什麼要這樣自我折磨呢？看來脫落的不只是曲折的頭髮，看來還有智商和理智……772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhnXZWp6SV
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEubPmo4od
明明，她很清楚，就算她橫屍街頭，已離棄她的人都不會在意，最多像看新聞那樣心裏閃過一刻的惻然，假裝悲情地歎一口氣，然後遺忘她的存在、過自己的快活日子。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Z2ANkla6d
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYD0rovmZ8
阿樂向青青投向懷疑的眼神，她再強調：772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkQ9Kmgjsf
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6m4Y7eCRb
「放心啦，邊睇得出。而且，我已經有食返多啲嘢啦。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNcF3ZE4AF
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNkpMLEsUq
「係咪酸嘢易入口啲？聽日煲番茄湯？」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZIRiFKS30
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItvkz3wg8p
「好——」她的聲音戛然而止，又說：「我諗緊聽日出唔出街。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Wb3MNyxnk
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDw7rV3Qrb
最近的好多事，她都不想和好朋友說，因為其實也只是小事吧；而且，她的驕傲不允許她說太多真心的脆弱。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRGdRKjRqO
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoFBn4kJnz
此刻的環境，如阿樂剖白心聲那樣，感染了她，突然覺得晚上就應該大肆地分享，好的壞的也是。阿樂和她只相識了兩個月，她感覺可以在他面前不用握緊無謂的自尊。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNT40tJAk9K
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sE6LCVAn5
何況，他們如此親厚。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24R724X1ZP
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2OIgqVH3X
阿樂問：「去邊？」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XNrQDvxQt
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMR3W4Y64LF
青青站起，去房拿出電話，決定給阿樂看她的WhatsApp對話。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlRCMLKWwM
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOduM6vIZvi
她的一個中學同學Sean，從朋友處知道她失戀，然後開始頻繁地找她聊天，講一些曖昧的話。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiTHBEL0j7
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWbhZAY77m
青青直接問：「你想媾我？」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUPEM2YfuD
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdr0tteIvJ
Sean回答：772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCgWtA8f4f
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnOi0R29li
「係。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OWpYhenaT
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikDfeAOZ49
以前中學嗰陣我已經鍾意你，諗住DSE完就同你表白。但你嗰時已經有男朋友。所以，我都係冇講到出口，淨係Grad Din嗰陣揾咗你影相。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTVodt1utJ
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KYLsAKBqS
隔了兩小時，Sean見青青未有回覆，又道：772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8yJWgPjpH
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWb56VsDKb
「不如我哋聽日出嚟食餐飯？」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVAoKGgxly
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGOYDj1w8S
阿樂看完後，說：「佢都幾積極吖，去吓囉。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5VLAmBt4J
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1PMVVJZ3Z
他完全沒有吃醋、難過。他認清，情感一時的高温驅使他對青青有意，但短短十幾天的時間已足以冷卻。反而，如今她聽他講心事，他也想做一樣的事。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBvraTqmp4
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwLr5I9ghw
「唔知啊……好突然啊好似。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwQlTkasDT
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaPFpuZYAf
除了通識分組同一班、初中曾經同過班，青青和Sean根本沒有太多接觸，她都不知道他喜歡她什麼。不，應該說，她都不太認識Sean，她只知他成績不錯、朋友不少；長相若不是查看了Instagram，可能也陌生得記不起來。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gZyxcxtjp
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18JDybQnGN
「想試咪去囉。」阿樂鼓勵。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZHaolACQt
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRAW5izcMh
「想試啊，但係，又唔敢。」青青停頓數秒，又講：「都係算啦，唔會得㗎啦。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRL5okC9Xo4
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡay8gfhPmo5
她突然直覺和Sean不會後續了，她突然覺得毫無心思，在這寧靜的空間裏，分辨自己的念頭。她回覆Sean：772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4S19zlUCVA
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguBfpen0UA
「Sorry，我唔想。多謝你。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1S9XZpAAX
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPn0gUw6oPB
阿樂邊看青青看電話，邊調侃她：772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLeBLUJfJ7
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbXgwl1K8g
「咁我咪好好彩，話哂你都肯試。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EKrmbETTv
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvGZmGbE9w
「係呀係呀。」她也笑。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmRaBmdS7O
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85z5fLONPB
阿樂質疑：772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9tsY2gpYh
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwp5na4yby
「點解唔敢呀？唔係叫我狗衝㗎咩，要勇敢㗎嘛？」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIwjVEqYJU
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jDpoHsOAc
青青思考，然後緩緩地道：772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3E95qvQRuq
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxanm4I3HM
「我好驚啊因為。我太垃圾啦。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qtUx33Dwd
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYbsz1NZzM
啫係，我成日都覺得，無論幾鍾意都好，最後都係會走咁。我頂唔順呀，我份人好撚老土㗎！拍拖要拍到八十歲，一生一世㗎嘛。但可能，真係太天真，宜家又仲咁後生。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxc8pjg58j
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWx8T7OtSgQ
我好唔鍾意呢一個過程——好唔容易先至全心全意認定一個人，由冷漠去到開始熱情、開始信任對方，然後佢就走咗去。其實係咪我問題？係唔係好易接受㗎？772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jqFy8gp6Z
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGA29KIsoZ
因為佢，好似一啲都冇唔捨得我啊。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNu9Wr6jNYg
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2E9SDWYzL
青青緊盯前方的電視，阿樂見狀，突然醒起什麼似的，開啟電視，又放了一隻DVD進去。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5NGW2mlEx
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWC8EDIr46
畫面出現一個火爐，火在熊熊燃燒。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2oAkEEDtj
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBPtnfFLE1
「搞咩啊？」青青不解。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySR8NTiXGO
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFF4pZvACkv
「之前買咗呢隻碟，播住睇，感覺個人會温暖啲。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVRhBy6OJb
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIbsXq0ulL
「宜家夏天喎Ching！」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLz4RccAlP
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksSqAyc1Nb
「你個心咁凍，啱㗎啦。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHLbq1bNsR
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3S5e8NxqN
阿樂微笑，青青覺得很奇異。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehK2alP20X
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5gmwVyFcb
電視上的火光在搖動，映在了他們的眼裏，也透着橙紅色的活潑。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacwCfzJYhi
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSF9JqL3kPT
「OK啦。」她的心沒有變暖，但確實覺得很有趣，竟有人花錢買這種碟看。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zGVq0LCsv
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkQ5CIw4Bf
「因為咁，所以唔信人？」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Hm9hsvEcZ
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVfYOMkPY8
阿樂回到剛才的話題，青青正色：772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqNGnZnyVN
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGVv7VQ08C
「係啊，好似覺得，無論對方幾愛，到最後都係會走。佢夠話愛我一生一世啦，夠話以後淨係愛我一個啦……起初唔信㗎我，後來我信，之後佢就飛咗我啦。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0dNiJet3V
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Y8EUiUqyX
頂……我成個怨婦咁。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPspUCKxhw
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ktQIc4voY
青青自嘲。乾癟癟地「哈」了一下。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbisWn1jYDn
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12njhkOSsL
她發現自己有些恐懼。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6hWeUs2ud
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YW4DV4t5d
到底，曾經甜蜜如Matt的愛意，最後也化煙。明明是Matt追求青青、首先表達愛意，亦在戀愛中對她極好，令信心不足的她從懷疑到沉淪。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNS5xBNEnCl
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoifHFgHou5
明明是他先到來入侵她的生活。仿佛，二人為新居添置不同的傢俬和私人物品一樣，眼見室內環境已經非常完善；但他宣佈要走，隨即撤離其私人物品，卻留下共同購買的傢俬，供她睹物思人、念記舊時歡喜；她卻因這居室過分和暖而心無怨懟，無法盡興地發洩情緒，獨得傷心在無眠夜裏壓着她。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5nVqdJoOL
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOSE1pq4Ih
最後，Matt離開。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhItAWqIvu
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKG5zRGty6v
她可笑地見證了這一段關係的興落，從築起到繁華，最終傾頹。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikH972gNPB
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfXUn34g7P
她始知，原來，愛情是這樣的一回事。愛，兩個人，開心，然後不開心。某些Happy ending，唯有期望將來會有。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsCn3V48j9
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAvklhdzbl
阿樂破了她的處，沒有令她長大，那不過是幾個姿勢、幾番高潮、幾潭愛液，處女膜破裂，只是暫時的生理性疼痛。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemgido7gpq
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUH0qlloBSV
但是，Matt的光臨與離任，真令她成為大人——不是好人、不是壞人，僅僅是一個「大人」，她開始明白許多道理，那些她有過的天真的熱愛，都冷硬起來，被摔到地上粉碎得無法拼湊，像攤開手就忘情飛揚的骨灰。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ys09fhOIW
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zsKLq1PKp
是Matt教青青：愛情世界是殘酷的。曾經她想像過的一生一世，其實只是童話般的幻想……772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2gaDg9BOO
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRZJxkytoK
而他們，已過了讀童話的心境了，因只想窺探幸福快樂之後的日子。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3D1r6pzN0J
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFspuyk7Rr
阿樂只好拍拍青青的肩。772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaS1fbDQFnN
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1x6FsRgnp
此時，阿樂又冷不防地說了一句：772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsDvkg0B9R
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQEzOhuyAt
「佢嗰句『Love you forever』，可能係Made in China。」772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBIhn1Iqcp
772Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHNyNt5Pbv
青青被此話篤中笑點，覺得很抵死。
Penana
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