尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ItzPl1r4H
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOsvi9FB1b
「妳瘋了嗎？」504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77Q6HLkbmX
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmina1QSrLc
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgT9cQ6Lxtw
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVvP0Hytqu
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaGOG26ano
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzR3cqLqly
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7bsetoIy2
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE316cgrU8b
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLr45sJiCJc
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVoZi1LFlz
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXxYib6DGU
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56V6zC8uD2
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrgY8dpXGm
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJhwcZCTiU
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrxMnEhDbZ
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuzVJrVShC
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGXEofA4IF
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4q3dx0HKd
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdylLBQ9EQd
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUdquU0KNm
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmAZ7InPvj
站在樹下的人是英傑。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMmbRW8GEY
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURujyhNgpE
我跑向他，勾住他的手。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffrSiEJoME
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKnuroQdCO
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrm92zqgg1
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FFWC8WYzK
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lRM9nFcT8
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBDZWK89oN
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0g63gy3de
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEurnCGvRh
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdG01JVreNe
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kOMVt9cPG
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDF4TufjsAa
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBG7XKOASQY
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3rb4znEzG
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CsXB1UeH2
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92ZTlRNTc6
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdNkToxX1e
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIC6GwiosaZ
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCqruycMbH
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqquEzQXgI0
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGj6UuZv7e
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5hcbSk1IN
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6aJgbIwDB
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknNFCsL6da
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8YyTLnVNm
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoPZtefOvP
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvtYfUewcm
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQKzyvVBPM
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpb0SKKibX
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwifvF6XbXS
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgPfuv6Xb9
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzVagkO81m
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtxJSYkWIG
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvkXvtydS6
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUewhcpF5K3
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJp5z5CdZv
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgYEaEbaDt
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxrmczS4kS
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ALTDtBqxW
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwdhNBMivg
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNO5uyFIZh
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5dhjBPMtN
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWrnnZh3Lz
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZWEsioNUX
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUz787q3M45
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBJcm1T56O
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqNTAbyYNz
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0fnMSMT7B
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHq3FCCJEYB
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYv7Xhi4jgf
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cEfOZBKbf
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9QJUhnZgX
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8t1NClkYj
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWjjZIgfEb
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTmf6m0BKf
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzSpuLUNsM
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkRC4Up8y5
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAxQkkgxr2
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1AHHhFC63
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwyfx3YXPe
在電視裡面。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkYy2gB9ts
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXk5oSrHNNQ
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGsqMjsykQ
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yfZMLCiJb
待續。
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