日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gdB0NH2PU
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeqCgyHB3K
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTg6xeVuyV
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzCkKwtIL3
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXVSVAgUoC
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZc6UfVNZv
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIJbVlaQaZ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvujZErask4
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHurZiVFapy
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBcyZFev0O
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrMa4STTE1
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TGIqclhHJ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkAzX6gGvf
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIolOgbgZq
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaccXmRas8N
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhocebawzIy
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPVAmgjdma
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIij22MsDOG
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhasXZgMD0
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUtGRpO0jF
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl3EYEvizL
「我哪知道。」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9BYRsEfzX
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7Aku3eFMZ
「……說的也是。」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yx8op7QRk
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡit71mvHFKC
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUOsfyv3lp
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOKfPNBImF
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5OS4QGrC3
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyFo6VXNsR
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nkiZ8YJSp
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9SnW1cANN
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyrumP1dtI
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkECbtq2Ns
無法灑脫。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFinOvK1vPp
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIRfnEjQ4j
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡut9jN0Mxnn
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdj8WjyGSyu
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ491f1uOoMg
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8DvEXI7MG
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GJCD2UL8D
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyi2IoDmmy
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2EVbWFJiK
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KAv7gfuzd
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUFApFENiZ
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRO0pwReJx
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FYXWPt2y6
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMRHGag1dV
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlK0r0I2SnV
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7dBDFlzhA
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklR8tDHowa
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYH4yK2kaHM
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftYAx3rWAk
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxsvNgnb2h
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUJZ7tx994
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi22eo3Q7Vk
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHn6s6Wffq
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHC6hhMqzxI
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpnFU2akca
「嗯。」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgjIyKXQRm
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWVrzHZ9Ch
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyW913HtMvv
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhlCkKEJzw
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNx1VCZZmjL
我還不明白。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitaeHO8hfh
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HEudSH8ob
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jOcX5pZsW
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4FGkPbnbe
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKityHwh3x
「……沒有。」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXoe3veTT7
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG29YQQR4qZ
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOboQoWpp7
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Hdg4rhAiK
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwMWgJGhCn
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0E9Mc1hc8L
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRml618ncbZ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mKaGDwLmt
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wnK3g2Xdi
「妳沒必要忘記。」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kCgacPhdU
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSQKv6zWxF
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0g7qIHIH7u
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyxm7SuWFb
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAy4CD01yR4
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2JdQ5tjD1
後來。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRTrmE6LKL
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOwdsJXEFB
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOasdXrWwpG
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUc79UhsGf
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKa7K34ZmU
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzxYQa5Hwn
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZTyWtaMi6
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CFngSIh5N
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqWx3AivZx
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3YNhNydMY
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcfjt0dPym
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1585aahws
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3lO0MxrfF
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyOID0XHpX
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmyCsBrnWp
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6vtJdRxjO
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNgbiR1XuV
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcSxH3gtkj
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdGXoba2Ik
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFJYcivnUM
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmPM7jQHog
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsF3L9SPzi
完。
ns3.144.132.48da2
