事情要回到幾個月前。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcnHjvagSF
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVXtrSM6ZI
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvdqGaItEN
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gyLBqmN3O
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19UaFRzwm8
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByhLSFDxqu
「幹嘛道歉？」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILZYJeN24H
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbwsteRqhX
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPI6QCoy9e
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgUeLJubZj
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqz5rcWUtly
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYeRRbQ58J
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTTNfLmcA6
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uJ9LsXfCV
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDdeFd15cI
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5dVXd4Vjx
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡci1kjEtZPH
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnUwEJXbCy
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzL3sOfUf6
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcH9vuOyoSf
「不是。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCThG5L8KP
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIIzfWfHL8
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUVnetHtEk
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrP4fXd5euS
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxHFBw51U0
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8IEGgF0wv
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeAzDW7i56
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLr98qi8nK
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYyZMlrzm0
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqx8LQXogUA
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wjxjWbr6e
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNvSXjXAvY
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgt0DcUbCx
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywXwpNZuES
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPJo3D98iL
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vXfAm6I9V
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5itlzM6My
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7Cpp2fonT
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aJvFJ82I4
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SyOx2KOp8
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkT4XLu7m9g
「我信任妳。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHS57wooNpY
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCq73reFKUE
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNIn7w6WyN
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNe178IHih1
「妳應該不是。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiHZcHjTAY
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQ2pxZ8OQs
「這麼有信心？」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWynPSr594
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBp1FWaAO6v
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUKKGvkcAL
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YWt1cRL9R
「嗯？」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinuLS0AkXH
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVQ5HvV4B5
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpG44PeWgsB
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHgEa7d3IZ
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyCmGAyo5m
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6NhzA9CSu
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6P929UTTg
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBU72aFwiid
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRhs5we6IG
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUiRZQDdrQ
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ofMglipIO
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRczE6XViI
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xHUEm85Of
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjb7Lmu2V4w
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zI6gDNri4
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBhQBenb7a
「哈哈哈。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KKJ5N2BbE
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUsFLqofBN
「哈哈。」387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpEpr7hjCm
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEPRxLuRTl
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHFYZuS16I
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFq975vJ7KK
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaDocYTuGB
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAfiVCvs7M
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUORpMjdApr
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSjGdSQcz3
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kv9QzBeDD
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkmf4ZFnjb
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj56lWNWRhy
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1V5gd4yFE1
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6R9tQRUdw
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2o3g9jqvwO
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECEPPwmb9e
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HH9z1nS2S
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8CDfkenbJ
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk68gUNL1rX
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb5gA6l7IA
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6v6WsJGmP
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlc0KiVBsEq
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7Ki7h45Un
接著，換左腳。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47uw6TaqmD
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfD5WwCRMK7
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmMOTEX0Dq
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCbDy3PGmz
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqocgd7grWY
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kbrwuaofT
「頭抬起來。」我說。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUcUzbrRaw
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWPSf9Tbps
命令的語氣。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTJv4h3znY
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWmpdY5O0I
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOVWzmAOL5
387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImUaMTJhKr
待續。387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnq9oK4FZEY
