日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdFOSg3c3E
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6KG1RdC2c
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49UBzdQQ2c
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rpBQkh10d
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFN0Qnn3fo
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjEYc8iuCx
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSxgmSiSdP
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZFAeHO1eX
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSgoRCEDVe
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQdeb1ca2s
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0JbX9EYB3
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOJKNLllv8
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZfhh4fgvP
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqBsZFpKJ4
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8P4p8UGCKt
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlJq4hAlkR
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7MTEPHqM9
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EpfZ6rtMZ
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMetbr5KnBQ
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mKA2HpBEB
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKM27OEyku
「我哪知道。」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERueUBtQe4
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivUWbIM7WM
「……說的也是。」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTL9OV0wLqD
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqihCyuWaiG
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdw5cT1CWx
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHZFsh6KDq
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhsTuyCpP3
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQaqMd5IBz
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezE2c6GUCl
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pLVHInN4w
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPjaxBbKQY
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArKYPLYdCD
無法灑脫。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKqOeG4ku6
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaCdQNk1YR
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eLnfqtYZw
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIDP5j4hRT
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYRl76S0ff
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoltBU1HqcQ
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmsm26H62E
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwsCDixdoZ
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8786eCuD5
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwxQ5sjgn1
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OL2dDlAxW
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWK48UmKd8M
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKKIma1c6m
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMChEVdlBE
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVdJzsDJAQ
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkxWfpJ7OS
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe99whaLEhJ
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsudVCaUsr
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LPKRpbXeD
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLDKQEHDP8
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7r7gHxDrO
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9aygSUPdo
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqLmM7yyox
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaqyeBfZC4
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXJ2BWpvIJ
「嗯。」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6dqwQ1XBQ
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIN8XYaxMBi
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMJgbEUG8Z
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00xR6qXXF4
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAQHxaOqJr
我還不明白。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWq40Vlxqul
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQk5J1Ing7
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvDk1IamCZ
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHcS1k9Ton
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbkvT6y3cs
「……沒有。」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoylC1YBLw
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1nHciNYBK
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkafExCHdh
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIVVfmqFNd
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyMuY1jC9c
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKfemcCM5l
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8BL8Aqlrj
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhC2W91DJqE
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbCTV9j6mt
「妳沒必要忘記。」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakREFD2VaS
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFYCtj7r56
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIsClNNpMV
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kjg4bOQUk
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdesNKa3xH
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uYRBKPDFG
後來。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtt6uWT0mm
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniMQqrqsAf
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUJvEDHIP3
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmLQXSNZqm
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TC39uZq0M
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwVV32ONNf
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD6eU24hXy
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7UxjjPjLy
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqa82Vy9L7
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhgKjwm2aY
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoufth00Hq
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKEVa8kuZz
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMPfyQmsQV
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZS4BLHWOQQ
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkj0cYjGNlo
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpboXDVzFx8
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHmfg4KwzJ
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL12Bkn8CD9
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rnsntaNbd
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XLgSST0Wz
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoftwRWBSzo
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ713bnWCIbH
完。
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