尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHwetvPtaR
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqtCnpOyHt
「妳瘋了嗎？」489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiK464QYe5b
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhEViGdhpU
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdp0BLeG6y
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42Ug7jvJth
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIcnKtoc0f
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgk4d2UZRM
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8VW0ZC4I1
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrIIYULy3j
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdH2YkdHhQ
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvZBWp4IGg
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1siwRCDje
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaPKQ56E9J
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KsjKkZsgh
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuro1eO9x41
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmd5qFR8f4
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hWaE7ZFwB
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8APIC77UG2
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdF6XPbCMCy
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7S0yNhKkK
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrsDpNh59V
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjg6NZ0hDNJ
站在樹下的人是英傑。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPNcnef3xV
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OpGkX4Loq
我跑向他，勾住他的手。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiptJk4PNo
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoxubdZDbW
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOiv9U8S0I
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkQNyVBAmd
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFewEZOoj32
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7LOeUIPDb
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWT3P3AGUfv
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhytT2x6EYL
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZrh4aKRRr
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfw7JSf9R71
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueqDbvWI8u
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpAvSHifXS
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsomkz6MVj8
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡta61kpwGh3
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PoWriJYVD
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAg2HHkbMO
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjogfuwJbS
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJiA07PyYQ
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrt0h8JPej
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFC8T66kCFk
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOL1oAescR6
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilyRtvLtmv
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3YP1BK5zt
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfkZaAzlax
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUethuQgMI
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriliIrmaXg
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcO2jQnghp
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyW7FwkUHY
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOk8N0SPUvD
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UxZXJi0Tt
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbdiqUbKSI
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2srdMiufC
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6AvIreask
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wSAOI03sx
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWQ9D3RLH7
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVd1phxKB1
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUM9rzaH83
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAIqbxlmbK
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEooE355Va
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBFUr7NTIa
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfF5doH48u
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj39fJSUfC4
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuVQiBLmEA
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2sJf8bgKS
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqXGYveJS1
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxAA8JeOg0
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCdIoSDDhK
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WW11pEsqV
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYNUZcDIxG
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63oZzeXSUI
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIECLemwvCf
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvb5o06ffUt
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJX6XcrCDfS
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvz9HAY5q3
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTZvokWq2w
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayYRuGscY8
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjwrkqMQcL
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVy2HiMuzv9
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBk1SHEmn6
在電視裡面。489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbpmkMUBaW
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuYcqx2R3k
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3IBH3fs4g
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kKhjrwhCD
待續。
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