405Please respect copyright.PENANAb6Ga7tUSff
405Please respect copyright.PENANAaKN4HnBsBS
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"If 'batty' means 'ass'... then isn't a 'battyman' technically just an 'ass man' in literal terms?"405Please respect copyright.PENANAdU4kBXbUuR
405Please respect copyright.PENANAly0mt7skaK
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Apparently, this is the shit that people think about when they're high; right now, I'm certifiablyfucked up.405Please respect copyright.PENANAkdoMaRJHFf
405Please respect copyright.PENANACVv0jvsWzr
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David, bless his soul, actually graces me with a response; probably because he's just as fucked as I am.405Please respect copyright.PENANASzHfQzAkPd
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"It's an idiomatic expression, but in literal word-for-word terms, then yeah, I guess so."405Please respect copyright.PENANAxIG22qGUsZ
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Ever since I left the hospital, David has been watching me. He doesn't let me out of his sight. He insisted that I start living at his house so that he could keep an eye on me, and for a simple life, I complied.405Please respect copyright.PENANAhi6AzVXyn5
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In addition to my inner demons, I've been having pain from the wound — the painkillers don't really help me.405Please respect copyright.PENANAknlYTgGZmG
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David knows that my head is a mess these days, and he also picked up the fact that my pelvis is constantly hurting me. He said that this would be "killing two birds with one stone".405Please respect copyright.PENANAKK1qYQDQ5L
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"I like gay porn," I spit out. I have no idea why I just told him that little piece of information. It just felt right.405Please respect copyright.PENANAII0wupuLeR
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He looks up at me from whatever he's doing on his laptop, his head covered in disgusting turd plats that I braided with my shaking hands, and smiles, his eyes as red as mine probably are.405Please respect copyright.PENANAE6ZalEy1FB
405Please respect copyright.PENANAhNq5TyGXcB
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"You're cute when you're high."405Please respect copyright.PENANAMAfWrDtiiQ
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I smile right back at him.405Please respect copyright.PENANA3GLKcSgLzf
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"You're... just cute."405Please respect copyright.PENANAhiUqiv9sNR
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"Tell me more."405Please respect copyright.PENANANTWREahexp
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Well, since I was just talking about gay porn...405Please respect copyright.PENANAdbOkTf7kWF
405Please respect copyright.PENANABE3y8JnhZa
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"Marcus broke up with his girlfriend and now he wants to fuck you."405Please respect copyright.PENANA5yEaJkNMsn
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I wasn't supposed to tell him that. 405Please respect copyright.PENANApy5cPsPvvl
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Oops.405Please respect copyright.PENANAg4eIZaLyJM
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Okay. Here's the story.405Please respect copyright.PENANABgf4sJM5Qs
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Ever since Marcus and his girlfriend officially broke up, he's been acting weird. Every time I mention David's name, he squirms a little, and not in the "I'm uncomfortable" kinda way, but in the "ooh, I'm getting the tingles" kinda way. At first, I didn't even know how he knew David personally enough to crush on him, but then I remembered that the second painting that David bought was through my website, and Marcus was the one who told me about it first; David had demanded that that I delivered it.405Please respect copyright.PENANAdFlaIlYUG5
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He had told my agent, a.k.a. Marcus.405Please respect copyright.PENANAL8tIHa0LrA
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On top of that, the display picture that David uses on the website is the perfect combination between cute and fucking hot.405Please respect copyright.PENANAQ0jNLg22Ew
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Marcus, having a good amount of common sense (although he acts like a dumb fuck sometimes, telling me to do shit for 10K; who the fuck does he think I am? An assclown?) obviously put two and two together — the gorgeous face with the sexy-ass voice. 405Please respect copyright.PENANAss1SS6oraB
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In short, David unintentionally fucked up poor Marcus's head, Marcus doesn't know that I know, I pretty much just had verbal diarrhoea about the whole situation, and judging by the growing grin on David's face, I just blew his ego the fuck up.405Please respect copyright.PENANAivFox91t4t
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You see, David might not be attracted to men, but he's the type of person whose ego definitely doesn't mind the attention.405Please respect copyright.PENANAh0K6as30fK
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"See? Everyone wants me! I'm turning straight men gay; the man left his girlfriend because he could only see me. The trees are gonna start walking just so that they can get close enough to watch me while they jerk off."405Please respect copyright.PENANAuJcg6esWqQ
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Wait, what? 405Please respect copyright.PENANAEft0TU0Wcd
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Trees jerking off?405Please respect copyright.PENANAGySzlQbM0u
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"You idiot, you didn't turn anyone gay; he still likes women. He's bi. And even if he wasn't bi, and you were the first man he liked, it would be a man crush, not "turning gay". 405Please respect copyright.PENANAvQ5zeSsbHC
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"Actually, it has a name; it's a sexuality when you become attracted to me, and can no longer see anything else, whether you're a man or woman or a tree. It's called davechestersexuality. He's a davechestersexual now."405Please respect copyright.PENANApoBSRBoFcM
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How full of oneself can someone possibly be? He has his own sexuality now? Really? Really?405Please respect copyright.PENANAViUG1U0ySa
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"So you have the mainstream sexualises; heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality; and then, you have davechestersexuality."405Please respect copyright.PENANAwnYLxOYF8Z
405Please respect copyright.PENANA7lwePjXYrw
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"I think you need to shut the fuck up," I say, laughing so hard my eyes start watering.405Please respect copyright.PENANALuGHM53cSU
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"Trees don't find you attractive," I state, still chuckling, reaching for the bong, feeling the urge to take another hit.405Please respect copyright.PENANA3WWkS8Vxj7
405Please respect copyright.PENANAdcXx4CyH7O
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"Really? Then why do they get hard when they see me?" 405Please respect copyright.PENANACH5jmZYKek
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"They don't," I reply, re-packing the bowl with ganja from the bag beside me, and putting it in the downstem. 405Please respect copyright.PENANAKDHrz8e765
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"Yes, they do," he says as I light the ganja, and briefly, I look at the white smoke climbing it's way up the inside of the transparent column. 405Please respect copyright.PENANACHau0gJXsN
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"So... pretty," I say, before putting my mouth inside the mouthpiece.405Please respect copyright.PENANAfUJBnGmXCV
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I inhale and pull the bowl out at the same time, and fuck, does it fuck me up in all the right ways.405Please respect copyright.PENANAxLmDGpFHw7
405Please respect copyright.PENANA8Ti4AePBzz
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This is exactly what I need; my mind being overrun with idle thoughts, which can be considered, on one level, philosophical and deep. No thoughts of anything that can or will hurt me; just a pain-free high.405Please respect copyright.PENANAhOfFGoqDiJ
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David really helped me out this time.405Please respect copyright.PENANA26ofRuEp9t
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"Pass it," David says when I take it from my lips.405Please respect copyright.PENANAByfUDGxyRu
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We continue to take turns with the bong until the nub is finished.405Please respect copyright.PENANAFypWrGdLI1
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405Please respect copyright.PENANAehFEkxuX8v
"I'm tired," I say to David.405Please respect copyright.PENANAFqasrJNBrY
405Please respect copyright.PENANAcf9CX7DnC0
405Please respect copyright.PENANAGCLEMMxlYh
"I'm hungry," he replies to me.405Please respect copyright.PENANAEenMu8HDVh
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I look at him, and he's about to close his laptop, when a question comes to mind.405Please respect copyright.PENANAXqpUvioflN
405Please respect copyright.PENANAjyWJ2UGz5j
405Please respect copyright.PENANA70P6ZX3cNO
"What were you doing?"405Please respect copyright.PENANAejlFilCN2g
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"Uh... playing with shapes."405Please respect copyright.PENANAkejVrkUlFq
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"Can I see it?"405Please respect copyright.PENANAYSCz1RRrgn
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"Okay," he says, and turns the computer to me.405Please respect copyright.PENANASHqTqZdaQB
405Please respect copyright.PENANAJYTh9ADXBj
405Please respect copyright.PENANAQHk4HEZ35Q
I look closely at the picture, and see that it appears to be some kind of mandala.405Please respect copyright.PENANAJOZ9RLo6hb
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"That's pretty."405Please respect copyright.PENANANT7UrsA5W5
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"Thanks."405Please respect copyright.PENANAHpvPG1MmlL
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"Why?" I ask him.405Please respect copyright.PENANASUiCruZMgg
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"I dunno. I like how the shapes look like that."405Please respect copyright.PENANAKd1X4RI2yV
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"You mean a mandala?"405Please respect copyright.PENANAwbwCsnCn5P
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He starts grinning again.405Please respect copyright.PENANAhFOCdunBGc
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"Yeah. I like them. I was online looking at stuff, and I saw this website that lets you make them. It's fun. I mean, the software is for amateurs so they don't have as much variety as I'd like, but it's still fun."405Please respect copyright.PENANAy16NT0MnoJ
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"What are you gonna do with it now?" I ask him.405Please respect copyright.PENANAH4n5q6bkQm
405Please respect copyright.PENANAvWEjGH10sO
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He scrunches up his face.405Please respect copyright.PENANAM0NJtt04Bs
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"I dunno."405Please respect copyright.PENANAyUjTaFj27R
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"It would make a nice tattoo design."405Please respect copyright.PENANA5tGrapub7i
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"You think so? I think it's too simple."405Please respect copyright.PENANA8lj8KVN45T
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"No, it isn't."405Please respect copyright.PENANANSVmK45hhz
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"Really? You'd get it then?" he asks me.405Please respect copyright.PENANAFE3Yor8b1J
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I stop and think about it for a second.405Please respect copyright.PENANAmszWa0KB9Y
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"Probably," I say, staring at the different shapes, how they curl around each other.405Please respect copyright.PENANAwTmsZfH9uF
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"Listen, I'm really hungry, so I'm gonna cook something, okay?"405Please respect copyright.PENANAXvvR9umkV2
405Please respect copyright.PENANAWQfzEirowr
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"Okay."405Please respect copyright.PENANAV6gGjJMGQd
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"You wanna come with me?" he asks.405Please respect copyright.PENANA8KXSTVRTOJ
405Please respect copyright.PENANAeLsxKzw7fR
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"No, I'm tired," I say yawning and stretching. "I'm gonna sleep."405Please respect copyright.PENANAByJDpnJIpP
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"'Kay," he replies, yawning in response to my yawn as I turn to walk towards the guest bedroom.405Please respect copyright.PENANA9ztlrzGkeL
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When I enter the room, I throw myself onto the bed, closing my eyes, falling asleep immediately. 405Please respect copyright.PENANAdgbH1Ve6vP
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The last thought I have before sleep consumes me, is What will David cook for dinner?405Please respect copyright.PENANAjwNHhddCm3
405Please respect copyright.PENANAND5tNAfF1q
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***405Please respect copyright.PENANA9wa3nMNJUF
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"You full?" David asks me as I finish the ackee with tomato and roast breadfruit that he just fed me. 405Please respect copyright.PENANAMk6YuHucZA
405Please respect copyright.PENANARVKeJ9UJE3
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You know when the breadfruit is over ripe, so it has that sweet taste to it?405Please respect copyright.PENANAIOX83AMBXs
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Oh, rass, that was good.405Please respect copyright.PENANAYLLgS88ZXa
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"Yeah. I'm full."405Please respect copyright.PENANAyREll41HSO
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I slept for about six hours. Now, I'm sitting in front of him on the living room floor. 405Please respect copyright.PENANAGmpbl5Qi5L
405Please respect copyright.PENANALJdJF7iBTQ
405Please respect copyright.PENANAMVlOqTjAGU
I'm sober again, and that's not necessarily a good thing.405Please respect copyright.PENANAAUVqqLQsav
405Please respect copyright.PENANAtfjEBToSFM
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Now that I'm sober, I can feel the ever present pain from the wound in my pelvis, which is a reminder of everything.405Please respect copyright.PENANAsAY8y76wbg
405Please respect copyright.PENANA8JEf7KRf49
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Even if I ignore the past, I can't ignore the present; I lost a tube. 405Please respect copyright.PENANA9Lum0YsTRq
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It's in this moment of disappointment that I realise that I'm not completely against the idea of having children; that I still want them. Having only one tube makes the chances of conceiving a child naturally less likely.405Please respect copyright.PENANAOBPOTF0sW9
405Please respect copyright.PENANAB5xQ34JsPS
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When did this change? There was a time in my life at which I was considering tying my tubes. When did I subconsciously open up to the idea of children?405Please respect copyright.PENANAYjEmTsZEQa
405Please respect copyright.PENANAaQCkY5zWBR
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When you started seeing David as more than just a casual fuck.405Please respect copyright.PENANAizMzUFkB3o
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Of course. Everything that is emotionally unstable in my life right now somehow seems to be tied to him.405Please respect copyright.PENANAPEC7MW8uii
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I let out a deep breath. 405Please respect copyright.PENANAx1jaKnsp4N
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"Leah? What are you thinking about?" he asks in a curious but timid manner.405Please respect copyright.PENANANQ63WktC6a
405Please respect copyright.PENANAihkgcqcNsf
405Please respect copyright.PENANAbu0bPb3rpb
"I don't want to talk about it," I respond.405Please respect copyright.PENANAxbE8aZTdtL
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He suddenly looks overwhelmed with sympathy.405Please respect copyright.PENANASbnrU35KcU
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"Leah, I—"405Please respect copyright.PENANAE7goVZAMGr
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405Please respect copyright.PENANAkokuerr1pz
"It's okay, David," I respond, because the truth is that right now, I really do not want to share this shit — my thoughts of having his children — with him. 405Please respect copyright.PENANAkteQ6ouPFE
405Please respect copyright.PENANA9fMM5tDVxf
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Not yet.405Please respect copyright.PENANAIngGGlDPuy
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I stopped thinking about David as a casual fuck a long time ago; my feelings began to grow from the simple attraction, to include affection, which then grew to a care for him that only intensified over time.405Please respect copyright.PENANANbhzRnDS8x
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But now?405Please respect copyright.PENANAyCkMawEqDw
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405Please respect copyright.PENANAnmR9hQDVMj
"David," I say, and he looks up at me from whatever he was staring at behind me.405Please respect copyright.PENANANIieAWvHW6
405Please respect copyright.PENANATI52vyrWDf
405Please respect copyright.PENANAMQsFhQ23af
"Yes?" he asks me.405Please respect copyright.PENANAoV3EsfjYnM
405Please respect copyright.PENANAVWmz8Jkc0k
405Please respect copyright.PENANAqha7lNCJJ6
"I love you," I blurt out.405Please respect copyright.PENANA1gFmtanHSK
405Please respect copyright.PENANAsbahD3whPi
405Please respect copyright.PENANAAtICJ1POXn
He stares at me stunned; and then his face splits into a breathtaking smile that pulls at my heartstrings.405Please respect copyright.PENANA4foGSdpDui
405Please respect copyright.PENANA6QVzBXSabO
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I know why I said it. Maybe you would have expected me to deny it. 405Please respect copyright.PENANAEgVPYLMuvi
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405Please respect copyright.PENANAlLKu1FgGIB
The bucket hit the water; it is submerged, now sinking through the liquid in the well. 405Please respect copyright.PENANANMeApqjDiu
405Please respect copyright.PENANAgnT8rgAg9G
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There is no sense in denying something so final. I can't fight it anymore; you can't fight a battle that's already been won.405Please respect copyright.PENANANfM2JFSf8a
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405Please respect copyright.PENANAJlZQkP5HwE
Besides, I don't want to fight it anymore; I might get hurt through loving David, but I've come to realise that he's the reason why I wake up every morning, feeling inspired to pick up my camera and make something of my life, feeling some sense of contentment with myself. If I get hurt, it would be worth it because I would have gotten to love him.405Please respect copyright.PENANA0IkXCDaUka
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The way that I feel for him is enough to write an infinite amount of poems, to write a million books, base a thousand movies; enough to inspire any artist to create.405Please respect copyright.PENANA6xOttZZvNS
405Please respect copyright.PENANAlzdJ9mzd3f
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He's become the subconscious thought behind every photograph I take, the reason behind every poem I write.405Please respect copyright.PENANAAKrQ9eHl7A
405Please respect copyright.PENANACgV5FKugKK
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He's... everything.405Please respect copyright.PENANA77OAKaOQtp
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He's my light.405Please respect copyright.PENANAjE3TsaZnrD
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He's my inspiration.405Please respect copyright.PENANAL8aNv61sz7
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"You're my new muse."
ns 108.162.216.26da2