Kat651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9mE1t5EgY
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwrImKODzU
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZgRbkekrA
"That's... not... I wasn't..." I try to explain, but now that the lust haze is gone, I am unable to rationalize my actions. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IkLhGFL0D
Was that what I was doing? I wanted to stop thinking about everything and I figured with what I heard about Ben, he wouldn't complain. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCiEHDXwjQ
"Ugh... I'm such an idiot." I cover my face with my hands. I just want to get out of here. Laying next to him in my underwear after being rejected is so embarrassing. I need to leave.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2A5bXZAVB
He pulls my hands away from my face. His eyes meeting mine. "No, you aren't. You are just hurting."651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHu5Q7ZAaY9
Is that it?651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEKTUXMqCR
When I caught him with that whore, I was almost relieved. Maybe I'm just not processing my emotions properly... 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEVIVH2gnd
I should be devastated. I mean, I am really upset, but I feel more like I'm mourning the life I lost, not the person. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡannvAmbJ2v
I think he wanted to get caught. He probably hoped I would join in or something.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFMwM5u5zW
What a creep. How could I give so much to him? I cannot let myself get wrapped up in another man like that again. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmcsrdH8cQ
I need to be strong. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbjpreNiZU
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF51wsOHk5Q
I need to be independent. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJ7FVg8ov6
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYbvEWmXru
I need to make better choices. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMHOJjldwa
I need to... not be here. Crap.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpO1AsgPDt
Ben makes me feel weak and vulnerable.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtLqC9YIBO
But also powerful and wanted. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RY1Clh93u
Ugh... I am so confused. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeG3Vhp18Rk
I do know that hopping from one guy literally onto another is not a good choice.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gXjeyoc2E
I also know that nothing casual can happen with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. That would be all kinds of complicated. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSI3LNKrU3S
Hopefully I haven't made things too awkward. Oh god, what if they get married? I will have to see him all the time. I will be reminded of this night forever.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqnyg13oFu
He smirks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "There she is, the wheels are turning again." 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRacb7BhUB
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. I probably sound insane, but this night is all sorts of messed up. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YbYMIH9Sr
His face lights up and his dimples emerge. Crap. His smile turns my insides to jelly.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmt2Ocxqjo
"Come on, Katarina, give the poor little hamster a break. Tell me your thoughts." He gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure I like him using my full name, it makes my heart flutter.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98Sb6pnaKD
"I think..." I need a light topic. I just want to ignore my problems. "I think this has been the weirdest night."651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7tAg5ryWO
He nods in agreement. "Weird good or weird bad?"651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdWjCnLkQ7
"Hah... Both?" I wince, knowing he's going to prod for more and I don't want to go any deeper.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPxaWuoSMQ
"I am going to have to agree with you." I was not expecting him to agree. "Although, I think yours had a bit more bad than mine." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but lean into his touch. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWwmypKTSO
I am so weak. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCU6OL0A8W
"Hmm..." His touch is relaxing and I feel the day catching up with me. The emotions and tears taking their toll on my body. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCAKPlENjy
"You falling asleep on me, Kitty Kat?" I can hear the smile in his voice, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0H9G6VPqET
"I am not a cat." I say, as sternly as I can muster, but it comes out weak. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pYMNHkU3R
"Meow." He chuckles at his own joke.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuUtzvkiBX
"You are so not funny." I mumble.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7qJqD0omA
"Oh come on. You're no fun." He tries to tease me, but he doesn't realize just how accurate he is. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2v7wvQ04JH
Maybe if I were more fun, things would be different. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7NgMa74yJ
"If only you knew..." I snuggle into his hard chest, hoping he won't ask anymore questions. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTr1LHAO1o
I know I should leave, but I just can't bring myself to part with him. I'm sure he's filling some void and I'm being pathetic, but he hasn't thrown me out yet.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZh8NPOBpzP
In fact, he pulls me tighter. Resting his face in my hair. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0qnbrasE7
"Don't worry, I will protect you." He whispers and as I drift off into oblivion, I actually believe him. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaGc7DJQbN
I awake to the sounds of muffled shouting. There is a heated argument somewhere nearby. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYidABWFuNI
When I try to move, I bump something hard with my elbow and freeze. I hear a groan and feel the bed move slightly. I am not alone.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnRnmPb8oA
Oh no. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRT2CizQEe
What did I do? 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHxn8rcAxq
Scanning the room, I realize I have no idea where I am or who could be behind me.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsREaFiCWu
Unless Vanessa is having a really rough morning, that was definitely too deep to be her voice.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZ72qfooDG
Crap. I am too afraid to look, who could it be? Bits and pieces from the night come to me, but not enough to piece together anything solid.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozwP2JKzPX
I remember crying at some point.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaw3ItPkhB
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I remember drinking more than I should have.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKl4mj3u9cR
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I remember Vanessa being her usual self. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGN3hVndQjO
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I remember her new boy toy stuck to her side. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5k8ZpBTcV
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6doCzRXEg
And I remember... Uh oh. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8nBShFqZX
It couldn't be... I wouldn't... Would I?651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgCayJofbG
Am I really asking myself this after waking up next to some random guy? Well, maybe not so random...651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGEuTj9caV
Oh god, this is all sorts of complicated. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntEglIhHB9
Okay, I just have to know... I try to roll over gently, without disturbing him. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxocb8lXrX
I find a pair of amused green eyes staring back at me. A gorgeous grin with dimples on his stupid perfect face. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWbSgFcQay
Crap. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryWkT3DMOL
I know I'm blushing hard, I can literally feel my face burning. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsXNMNyyRP
How did this happen?651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJabwarNHc9
"You done freaking out yet?" He asks with a chuckle. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTHPgsD3kP
Is he... laughing at me? 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaxkRSQezB
"Uh..." And just like that, he has short circuited the connection between my brain and mouth. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH17DA9kOh1
"Don't panic." He talks softly, like I am some wild animal that might bite him.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGN5rjexCs
I am totally panicking. I just can't decide if I want to run out of the room or stay and figure out what exactly happened. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDjTVLYd5e
My curiosity wins, just barely. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJb8ilkQBOe
"Nothing happened." I must look really confused, because he feels the need to explain further. "We didn't have sex."651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcaeir46Eh
"Oh..." I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt that he was naked laying next to me.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPK2CL3W0H
Nope. Not letting my mind go there.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Cy1GyokCg
I choose to feel relief. I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8A1g2oCAJ
"Not for lack of you trying, of course." He flashes a cocky smirk at me. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡns4SDjHDEJ
I feel a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, despite my attempt to keep my face neutral. No, I didn't throw myself at him, did I? 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQuvfgs6ae
I vaguely remember waking up and thinking I heard my name through the wall and then... 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nyqNJEWGq
"No way... I... Oh god!" My eyes pop open so wide, they begin to hurt.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtygvZWy78j
Crap. Did I really climb on top of him? Yep, I was totally grinding on him.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7xak5zAhL
I gasp, my gaze running down his body before I can stop myself. I take in his muscles, but his bottom half is covered in a sheet. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyEYZku4vK
His eyes meet mine. "Reminiscing?" 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXqtBZbmYu
"What! No!" My voice is too high and rushed to be convincing. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElOytUfzVd
I remember licking his defined chest.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIuKDN4x8Y
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I remember... 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4o3VemEfqd
he was naked!651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GBl6HNWTQ
I inwardly groan. I totally touched him. I know how big he is and... 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0d1OfPR3L
Oh god! I know how he tastes. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Qw5JepSNH
"Shit." I know it's inelegant, but I can't think of anything else to say.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUXdHAt4ca
His mouth pops open as his face twists in shock. "Did you just... I can't believe you just said shit!" 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dKcUFvKm2
"What? Why not?" I sit up, feeling defensive. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQGPed8YdF
Why is he so shocked? He barely knows me. Why does he assume this? Did I say something weird last night?651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBd5Td4xBZ3
"You seemed kinda offended when I cussed, so I guess I just assumed..." He looks shy, almost like he was caught doing something wrong.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXO114GzKn
"Based on?" Sure, I don't make a habit of using curse words, but it's more an ingrained reflex than an actual choice. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HPadoE4Rh
He hesitates, like he's afraid to say and I begin to feel slightly nervous. Crap, what did I say?651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1KCPJ37Vh
"You... uh... kinda flinched." He blushes and looks around the room. Insecure Ben is totally adorable. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScgFJri2ex
"Oh." I'm honestly not sure how to respond because I definitely can't tell him the truth. "Well, I wasn't offended."651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBvp3Z7gfC
"Okay." He blows out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. "If you say so." 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5WpmDAFIf
He looks completely unconvinced but I can't give him more than that. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NKS7851N9
"So." He clears his throat. "Not to be totally awkward here..." His gaze drops to the tent of his crotch before his eyes scan the floor. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lPdVmz1Ob
"And not that I would mind laying in bed with you all day." He looks down my body and winks. "But, maybe we should get dressed?"651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4S9FYXxA25
I look down at myself, just now realizing I'm sitting here in lacy underwear. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAiAP35YMX
When I don't respond, Ben flashes his smile. "Or not, I mean you look great." 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8Uoqy4tpE
I am unable to hide the look of shock on my face before I snatch the sheet to cover myself. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UUYlyenaw
Which is no longer covering "Little Ben", if you can even call it that.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpUmFfCkis
Oops.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMfxlXLyOf
Of course that would happen to me! I take a moment to look at it in the daylight and wow, it's like a sculpture. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3dcEDNHg2
Unable to stop myself, I have apparently lost my filter completely around this man. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hucS74GRB
"Well hello, Big Ben." I try not to giggle like an immature school girl, but Ben's laugh makes me laugh harder. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG01F56LITo
"Big Ben, huh?" He grins, making my stomach flutter. He shakes his head, amused. "What am I going to do with you?"651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiJartEPJB
My mouth goes dry as my mind conjures up all kinds of things he could do to me. It feels like all the air was sucked out of the room as I struggle to control my breathing. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkuytR2nFT
My gaze returns to "Big Ben", as it seems to grow, straining to reach me. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxALUmUxDmp
Prying my eyes away, I meet his green gaze. He's no longer grinning or teasing, in fact, it looks like he's in pain. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3So0P7kAOg
"So, you like what you see?" His eyes never leaving mine. I try to close my mouth and steady my breathing. I need to keep my composure, but my head nods without my approval. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYVtihFJA1
I lick my lips, remembering last night. I can't get my mouth to form words.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhIguNWsZC
"Because I wouldn't mind seeing a little more." He reaches forward, tugging down the sheet. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWydnNcolO
He sucks in a breath. "Fuck, Kat."651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhLs4L6d0B
I close my eyes, my insides turning to liquid fire. I love his cussing, like he can't control himself. Maybe it's because of my background and it makes him seem like such a bad boy, but it turns me on, like crazy.651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwMEubxkJh
He caresses my breasts through the sheer fabric. "God damn, you are beautiful." 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQroIL4oD0w
I absorb his words as another wave of lust hits me. I know this is a bad idea. I know we should not be doing this, but I'm not sure I could stop it, even if I wanted to. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgjNw2du1L
His hands move down my body as his mouth meets mine. His kiss is hungry and desperate and I can't get enough. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMfMpnvvA2
His hand grazes me where I'm aching and I nearly explode. I need him. Now. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkl43ArDYpP
"Do you have a condom?" He has to have one in here somewhere, right?651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQGsCEaRP9
He blushes and looks slightly uncomfortable. "Actually..." We both freeze as the sound of yelling grows closer. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzh3qQaA7lb
I pull the sheet up to cover myself just as the door bursts open. All I see Vanessa's fiery hair flying around as she takes the scene before her. "What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in here?" 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjOQGOAdji
I know her well enough to know when she can't think, she drops f-bombs. Her gaze drops to Ben's crotch, before he grabs a corner of the sheet to cover himself. 651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnUAxiUSfa
I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me at the sight of her craziness. "Calm yourself, Vanessa."
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