Ben767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqbUQJumtl
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3le0rmbcCA
February 14, 2005
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Same day
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I see her across the room. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8L0OPL6AZ
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡls2XqRuK5a
Of course I see her.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXw5fPeJXa
I always see her.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDvIoemDcp
And she's just as fucking beautiful as always. Maybe even more so.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlcVguRhlH
Damn it.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6qfNJNVzv
I need to stop looking at her. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnacCzSnYEv
This is fucking Valentine's Day. The Holiday for desperate chicks, so why the fuck am I sitting here alone?767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigf9PGaDGe
You already know the answer to that, you fucking idiot. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNcox8f52f
Damn it.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPfk38QoDB
I scan the room for the thousandth time. My gaze lands on her, like it always does. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyZ38vFSU7
I want her so much, it physically hurts. I couldn't think about anyone else, even if I wanted to.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFF0JPApji
I don't want to. I want her, only her. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuqjBmFIUr
But I fucked it up. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKKg83Pbim
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCahDtYEpRn
Of course I fucked it up.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNruT87b9WT
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGNChSMCCw
Because I'm a fucking idiot.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoV4sCs8G3x
And now she really hates me. She's been avoiding me this whole time. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8jhkca51V
It feels like a fucking knife in my chest every time I see her and she's not near me.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4F87UKWeG6
I need to touch her soft skin. I want to kiss her sexy lips. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡci50nEAguA
Can lips be sexy?767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9em7GJpxGs
I don't know, but hers are. Everything about her is perfect. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TFIGJTUzb
I need her. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4acO2X85qr
A blonde approaches me, Karen, I think. Fuck, I don't know. Who cares. She pushes her arms up in an attempt to display more of her tits and any other time, I would have been interested.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJm6v8mNC7Z
It's feels like that was another life. Everything feels so different now.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5RhJS0Spr
"Hey Ben." She says my name like it's supposed to mean something, but I couldn't care less about what she wants.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9J4K8lf7N
Oh shit, I think I may have fooled around with her before. Maybe?767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImgqxgVlSn
"Hey, sorry, I gotta go. See you around." I stand quickly without a plan of where to go, but I figure I can hide from everyone in my room. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrOfVy2T3U
Even her.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5m5ItjnK4
I close the door, locking everyone out and stumble to my bed in the dark. Shit, I drank too much trying to ignore the girl across the room. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnviKo1TlD
I feel something strange as I lay down...767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8jNPIkdFX
I'm not alone. Fuck! Who the hell is in my bed?767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtUzDCVsWT
"Ben?" I hear her groggy voice and instantly relax. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILiKcdVpIa
"Kat? What the fuck? You scared the hell out of me!" Why is she in my bed? Was she sleeping?767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rbMHBKQpG
"What are you doing here?" Her confusion coming through her scratchy voice.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bhz22ZgXA
"What do you mean? In case you forgot, this is my room." I'm too amused to be irritated. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIV5Wx1dBC
"Oh." She seems to realize where she's at. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMR1Y4fQIp
"Oh." I chuckle. God, she's so fucking adorable.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeswuxw9KQt
"Sorry." I can hear the embarrassment in her voice and even though I can't see her in the dark, I know she's blushing. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsALDGKkgj
She moves, in a hurry to get up and probably run away from the asshole that I am. I need to make her stop. I don't want her to leave.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRwNVaj0Lv
"What are you doing in here, Kat?" I hope my question will be enough of a reason to stay at least a few minutes longer. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOPQup1WHK
It's not. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bFVB6Xpsp
She stands up quickly, just as a crash sounds through the room. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTICLRjWZd
"Oh shit! Ben, I think I knocked something over." I can hear her scurry around, feeling for whatever it was.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zTR4QZiIk
I laugh. Nothing in my room is that important. "Don't worry about it, Kat."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzenM73Otre
"Don't worry about it?!? I'm pretty sure there's broken glass down here!" She's frantically feeling around. She's going to get herself hurt.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZLklT71rr
"That's all the more reason to not feel around in the dark. Seriously, Kat. It's fine. Stop before you hurt yourself." I hear her sigh, but she stops her movement. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWfmafbzbM
"Now, tell me. What were you doing laying in my bed? Not that I'm complaining." Shit, that last part wasn't supposed to come out.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAHp3Ky7xY
I feel the bed sink next to me as she sits down. "I just needed to... get away."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9b95czV4O
"I know the feeling." I sigh. What I don't say is I was mostly trying to get away from her.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiUrZmZZ0O
"You do? You know what it feels like for all you friends to be in happy relationships and worried about you and your sad pathetic life?" She lets out a huff. Damn. I was not expecting that.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqqay3yDZZ
"Uh... Yes?" She gives a humorless chuckle and I can just see her eyes rolling. "Well, I mean, I kinda do. Actually. I guess I just never thought about it like that before."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NhQFokuuz
"Oh." Well, that shut her up, which would usually be a good thing, but I'm not sure what the fuck to say.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMucsax020
I decide to use this moment to beg for her forgiveness. "Listen, I just want to say, I am really sorry. For everything. I know you're not a fan of starting over, but do you think maybe you could forgive me?"767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOTlPCOTlf
She scoffs. "Oh please, like its that easy. You don't even mean that."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2gKq3tC5H
"I do too. More than anything. What can I do to make it up to you?" I would do just about anything she asks, I just hope she does forgive me.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGas1T9O73H
"Nothing. There's nothing... at... all... Wait! I have an idea." I can hear the smile in her voice. Oh shit, why do I feel so nervous?767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6buQL7ut7
She keeps talking, not waiting for my response. "Okay! Just hear me out before you say anything. Okay?"767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtO2LK6cBQu
Again, I couldn't get a word in before she barrels on. "Okay. So, I think we should date."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5MCpg7DqB
I can't stop the sound that erupts from my chest. It's somewhere between a laugh and a choking sound. I'm so in shock that my body has broken.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJ14yMhHTp
"I-uh... You-what?" Words. What are words? 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TnYC7F7OV
"Okay, before you shut me down." I wasn't going to. "It's not real. We can just pretend to date."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQPXiSBo7a
"Why the fuck would we do that?" Okay, now I'm really confused.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBMW8ffyuX
"Because I really need this. And you said anything!" She throws my words back in my face.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMAXyZkjyu
I groan and rub my hands down my face. What the fuck did I just get myself in to? 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFbjFX3bOf
"Okay, okay. Just give me a minute... to... to..." To what? What the fuck is there to think about? I can't say no. "Just give me a minute to process... all of this."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoQpSGRTfg
"Sure, take your time." I feel her shift on the bed as she lays down. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PUsB6o8L9
"Make yourself at home." I half joke, because I honestly don't mind her laying in my bed.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nQlE5hAQe
She just giggles, stretching out to get comfortable. Damn. I really missed that sound. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XnGpFnTug
I missed everything about her.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0um2NDYdEl
I'm going to have to do this. Pretend to be with the girl that I can't stop thinking about. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPoSfjuw7q
Shouldn't be too hard to fake feelings, it's the keeping them fake part that's going to be a struggle. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7Gz5pwytD
"Why exactly do you need this?" I have a right to know why we are doing this, don't l?767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDIyd7tLoG
She sighs. "Does it really matter?" 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2Z0LXXvsG
"Before I agree to your crazy scheme, I need to know why we are doing it in the first place." Why can't it just be real? Of course, I don't say that out loud because I'm a huge pussy.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWE8C2BBLK
"Okay, fair enough. Everyone has been treating me like I'm fragile since the whole... you know... happened." I lay down next to her on my back.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENQdGj96kA
"The whole you know?" I'm completely confused. What the fuck is she talking about? 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrntG0mcg1
"You know... New Year's Eve?" She sounds embarrassed, but I still don't understand.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58SgB9JMW0
"Why would they treat you differently because of that?" Maybe I'm missing something?767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxukSEtKKV
"Uh... because of... what happened... with you." Shit. This is all because of me? 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5l7Ocn0hSv
"Oh... I didn't... I didn't know." I can't believe she has been struggling and it's all my fault.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtmRICAKBB
"So uhm... Yeah... They act like I'm going to break, so I'm sick of being pitied and worried about and I just want to be normal... And you can help with that. Two birds, one stone. You know?"767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mK4u7gbwH
"Uh, am I the birds or the stones here?" I chuckle. She's so weird sometimes. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNC624mjDM
She laughs. "Well, I guess the stone."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClyNeM9f0V
"Okay, so what are the birds?" I'm barely able to hold my laughter in to get the sentence out.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYJHTcuoHz
"Wait. No. That's wrong. You're a bird!" She sounds excited, like she's made a huge discovery or something.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Tb9Moqc5f
"So... I'm a bird now?" Seriously... She is the most adorable person I know.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvWAgsYX5m
"Okay, everyone is worried about me because they think you broke my heart or whatever. So, bird one is you. And everyone pities me because I'm single. So, being a pathetic loser is bird two."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKY7BTvzVZV
I turn on my side to face her. "You are not a pathetic loser." Completely ignoring the fact she said I broke her heart.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrTgUZWGTJ
"I most certainly am. That's why I need this. If I can just throw the stone of our fake relationship at the birds, everything will be okay." Exhaustion fills her voice as she turns to face me. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2WKltXD3r
I can't help but notice we are only inches apart. I can feel her breath on my face. If I leaned forward a fraction of an inch, our noses would be touching. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSFuNmByIV
Shit. This is bad. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84fbnuEJZ9
Faking it is going to be so hard. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrlPUaMb6m
"So... What do you say, Little Birdie? You in?" Her laugh echoing into the core of my being, reverberating and filling my chest.
I find her hand and pull it to my face, placing a kiss on it. "Let's throw that rock."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLTPkU5HvL
I am so fucked.
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