[bgm music to read to]
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIS4GhJhSoY
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vqpsGqAGR
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oxtwVponL
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7mR5mGFNm
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wZCRFJ4hL
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfimnxuxFe
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjr1DV3gIL
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDT0GYBCYo
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlZ6tlPVie
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4SMIXYIMe
But...566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXtbYgjZoM
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qzirKzWAT
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWxtAB5EqB
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCIAJ3nUTA
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQEmFhcSBl
Is absolutely not pathetic.566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQ5FX4D2Lk
You're not garbage."566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLBk4X3zTb
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1P9NW69yN
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdB5mi42yC
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWGy5zZ4FU
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZKBRVNvuv
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRuASLgkPm
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtoU72vRgm
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlWFcorhIg
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCi6bIuETio
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVs3TTxJj6z
Your son doesn't want to get married.566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EJD54XW51
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYVyT4yqQ0
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4mkgn5N1M
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaWKvhyDz9
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbo36EVl7Va
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1s71vrOZJD
I'm scared of failing, so.
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIsFMyTBIr
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3F4WhyWVBf
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBNddwVhgz
Sincerely,566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNKLmVM6Qa
Your son Charlie.566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn40CQOPIyj
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3scnWqC7pr
P.S. Screw you sis /j.566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLSzWHAjD5
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkHHtBrBeG
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHN5bzZEAKm
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaD4XHAIp6
566Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgiQs1wrDi
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
