[bgm music to read to]
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7FaYF6QCU
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxspXAWv4u
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFkZeFbx0y
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmUI1UD8rc
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJE9NMoE5s
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQ2q7McCce
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzGhgyN67L
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpncgZFNqCq
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKnK3SyrcP
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9zNhdlgDk
But...474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Vkh4qrOuc
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlg6IHXGy9E
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JNPVUjWGO
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5l1QUdl49O
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlpuFgBm67
Is absolutely not pathetic.474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9BVSs2ibG
You're not garbage."474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHgMp04gik
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qFhLjPdpA
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzs1ezqNkMO
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEu9OEUsP9g
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEPyrJzLRs
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Rpg6JcBKh
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwPSb8cqpM
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucKHFSrqTY
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3psPNAido
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKXAm1pYmI
Your son doesn't want to get married.474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBey7mvvpN8
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3d1vm8kCOZ
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10scKGNk6y
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFz0cGw8BKn
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvng8ETsWS
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDTvhBDDsy
I'm scared of failing, so.
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DMJMR6Ppv
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yyHI0OmJZ
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe42G5vzDOk
Sincerely,474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsmPMXIDv4
Your son Charlie.474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBjyaIrLnD
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpdR6MpE78
P.S. Screw you sis /j.474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiQP6cizYI
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28uNqNWs8I
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeLxhZdpeX
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlurzoXCMcH
474Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXnME5UqEC
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
