[bgm music to read to]
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjUljFioVi
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuU5ypL1MK
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONOT1Qm404
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvQwue7ozP
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVD6FmHpHA
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaadlAWUL8
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBt8ZVgFQPN
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWeMdyR2yE
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nvYNpKqbo
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HFuhbQiwD
But...564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAp3j56iPy2
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3cB2hk90L
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tnX4mpKqj
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0sfmPduF3
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIfesKhEme
Is absolutely not pathetic.564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNBjGoJQEe
You're not garbage."564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfakGrFsfit
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjyDLIs9XR
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDxurGQ1Q8
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRyZSfTwV7
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecUoFIfPhp
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyo7vqZerTx
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡful4BMjhQG
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCCjYKRvpw
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGu0EbAkS0
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHhE0PTKIC
Your son doesn't want to get married.564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4oVFPFVTT
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOSX1rTR1q
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaNiB4u0Mp
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKBr0pqzxs
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwbv9Gkag6
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1d4FtUOJ7
I'm scared of failing, so.
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVUckdIuIJ
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0JfPtvWHp
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNZ4tQGQLc
Sincerely,564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzZ7g8jHJ6
Your son Charlie.564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZ4BZ1pexj
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzELlY1TyI1
P.S. Screw you sis /j.564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1WO0pmdto
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zPyDHoxEt
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIY4vkCFiJ
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVi54iucQpo
564Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwp1uUt5rS
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
