[bgm music to read to]
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFENSRMGupZ
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniReK0JZx5
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCJmL1bbsE
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4904BB7Vu
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRukiBqGd0
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Z0soNp4UQ
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNEth0OlzU
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMnPGfdUSB
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnJkzAKuWH
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubJotjECPy
But...565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfStPHzNNBI
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgrJdyaHFZ
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbrr2Nq4Ao
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwvedujcTG
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcG9LYrLrd
Is absolutely not pathetic.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo92XQ3LMie
You're not garbage."565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnj00YUAnCu
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckG9GpLxYg
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOD9Tl6735G
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5rVVBfEs6
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARpHrBLuaB
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iLPiQg9de
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVfenwmokS
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNcEHgsdAw
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUd9SECdbER
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBl2WG4BPS6
Your son doesn't want to get married.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8Rd5afPs0
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00obw2IipY
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQMYZVsE5f
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ONMKdasRx
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowSmKNoW8z
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpdMgcN7qX
I'm scared of failing, so.
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6AvUw4RtC
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5M7nI5lLN
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpetQhqEB7
Sincerely,565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXgwGZ1Tb5
Your son Charlie.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUdiGIxenj
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtZKfzQMUl
P.S. Screw you sis /j.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLljtb0t9q
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVeBVXTqyC
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkWPMRaHYY
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFAPrt1lcT
565Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBAu9pfeI0
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
