I’m a loser, this is an undeniable truth that will forever stay true, no matter if it is the past, present or future. A person that goes with the flow, a sheep that follows the crowd. Being born in the slum, gangs are nothing new and is where most people end up. The same goes for me, being 25 years old I've never had any dreams nor things I want to accomplish, being in a gang and listening to orders is just the easy thing to do.
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Today's mission is to capture an escape good that has run away. Apparently, it is really strong, having broken through the guards guarding it, it ran into the forest. To recapture it or if it proves to be too strong, kill it is our mission this time.
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In the middle of the night me and the squad slowly advance through the forest, the rain making it hard to track our target. Luckily the guards have made quite the damage to it so it couldn't run too far away. The night is getting deep, and the forest is getting dangerous, so our leader send me to go ahead and do some scouting. Walking alone in the forest fear goes through my whole body but I don't have a choice, it’s a order after all. "WE FOUND HER!" Suddenly a huge shout from our leader rang through the forest. Looks like they found the target, so I quickly ran back.
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In front of me is an unbelievable sight. All of my squad members are lying on the floor, knocked out yet none of them are dead or greatly injured. There is only 1 other person standing other than me, our target. A beautiful young girl that is in her early 20s, even though she has scratches and knife cuts all over her and seems like she is going to collapse any second, she is looking at me with strong eyes, showing firm will of getting away. Knife in hand I started to ponder, it is impossible to capture her alive yet am I really supposed to kill her? She is a person with a kind heart, I can tell through the way she knocked out the squad members that she has no intention to kill, even if the other party is trying to kill her. Do I really want to kill someone like that? The answer is no yet I have been ordered to do so, to kill this young girl. After a moment of pondering, I lowered my knife. “Go” I said “GO!” The girl hesitated at my words but after looking at my face she let out a faint smile and quickly turned and ran.
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“I have killed the target and I am sorry for my lack of ability to capture her.” In front of the gang boss, I lowered my head and claimed that I had killed the girl. “Here is her heart to prove her death.” I said as I handed over a deer heart in a box. “You may leave now.” hearing the words of the second in command I stand up and walk towards the door, relief that I got through it. “Wait.” Suddenly the boss spoke and I froze in place. “Why did you go through the trouble to bring back her heart but not her head?” I couldn’t answer. “It’s because you didn't kill her but let her go didn’t you.” the boss continued. I couldn’t answer. “You do realize what you have done is serious betrayal?” “I-” before I could answer a knife was already stabbed into my stomach. “We don’t need traitors here.” The boss's voice whispers into my ears while he pulls the knife out with both hands. My vision is getting blurry, I feel my life going away from my body. This is the consequence of rebelling orders. However, I don’t regret it because once and finally I made a decision on my own. Not following the flow not because of orders but because of my own will. With a faint smile I closed my eyes.
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