• 🌖 Why Tonight •
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The rain still making itself known as we pull up at Reece's apartment. The street lights illuminating each speck of rainfall, giving them a colourful shimmer. Each tear containing its own private rainbow; almost opaque. The trees swaying to and fro in the cool gusts as though they are resisting being pulled somewhere. The stars barely visible now, like the universe has decided their time is up and has put a film before them. A barrier between them and me.
My eyes roll over the street sign planted outside the flat. "Bellecrest Drive". The plaque has aged. The once bright white background is more of an antique cream and the black letters spelling out the name are now a dusty charcoal. I always get flashbacks of when we viewed this place...
Four years earlier, the sun gleamed down on that autumnal afternoon. It was warm with a chilling bite like it was giving the planet the cold shoulder as summer lingered onto its last breath.
The crimson and caramel leaves blanketed the ground as they shed from the trees. Almost skeletal, the tree branches that once bared bountiful foliage were now just corpses of a distant summer memory. Their branches bare enough that they now resembled antlers. The bottom of their trunks decorated with a rim of autumnal gold and rust which erupted onto the pavements.
The ground beneath me that was once stable is now crunchy and slippery, making it untrustworthy, unlike summer's reliable self. The wind whipped around me as though trying steal my jacket and scarf, occasionally with a little more force behind it like it was playing a prank on me.
Reece was running late, like always, and I was left standing with the estate agent, waiting for him to show his late arse. You'd think for once in his life he'd be on time for his own flat viewing. Obviously not...
I loitered on the street by the road name against the brickwork wall. The leaves littered the ground and scurried along the floor as autumn's arms picked them up to hurry them along. The road was lined with street lamps and trees that were almost as tall as each other.
Conversations started to get awkward while we waited. I avoided it by checking my silver watch for the time constantly. Deluded into thinking if I stared at the face long enough, somehow time would go faster. There was only so long you could talk about the weather for.
She was a pretty young thing, the estate agent. Carried confidence like it was a handbag. Her platinum blonde hair fell from her head like a waterfall. Standing there in a navy-blue blazer and matching skirt, that displayed just enough of her legs to entice my imagination to picture the rest. She wore a silk scarf tied around her neck, adding a splash of colour to the white shirt she had on under the assumable. Her eyes were a light shade of blue and her lips were sporting a bright red lipstick to match her scarf.
Things took an interesting turn when she decided to give me her business card for a "private viewing", as she so lightly put it, throwing a wink my way. Any given day I would have had my way with her but after a night of deep conversations with Reece, I had come to the conclusion I had outgrown tarts...
Before she could explain her intentions, Reece finally made an appearance and announced his presence by shouting the words "What's up bitches!", throwing a handful of leaves over our heads. So much for the "sophisticated adulting," we had agreed to days prior to the viewing. I have to admit the estate agent's face was a picture though...
Hannah Jones, Estate agent for Baybrooke Estates, never saw me again after that viewing.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNXmLM8bss
Four years on I remember her name.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4vNo4IWPK
Why?224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qxpQOa9wD
Her card is still in my wallet.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86iwzjysCN
I've never called her...
That was one of many moments I share with Reece where I cringe but I could hug his dopey arse. He always seems to turn up when he's needed. It's like he has a sixth sense for it. It's probably why I've kept him around. Either that or most likely, I can't shake him off.
As I return to reality, the sprinkles of the rain's magical form are non-existent as Reece turns off the headlights. Everything outside of the car looks dull, harsh and ordinary.
Looking up at the five-storey building in between the trees, it dominates with its intimate balconies, surrounded by tinted ice blue glass. Embossed in the very centre of the red brickwork structure, the words "Dalston Creek" in chrome capitals sits. We used to sing the Dawson's Creek theme tune every time we came 'round to Reece's due to that. At one point I had it set as his ringtone. The novelty wore off after he started to fucking enjoy it.
"Heelllooooooo.... Guyyy?" Reece waving his hand in front of my face. 224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFslGxcdmK
"Reece calling, Guy." He continues to stretch each word whilst mimicking a phone with his hand.
"..What? I was ignoring you." I tease, crossing my arms and giving him a playful look.
"Tiffany is here, as you didn't hear me the first time." Reece states in a sympathetic tone, ignoring my ridicule.
Tiffany.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4jMJdfxbW
The name alone gets my back up, leaving a bad taste in my mouth. If there is any justice in the world, she would not be in Reece's apartment right now. She's Lauren's friend who insisted on being around where she wasn't wanted. She loves it. Provocation and drama are her game, and her favourite guinea pig to do it with? Me. She gobbles it up as I never fail to please. I fall into her "Guy" traps every poxy time. Reece tolerates her for Lauren's sake. He'd just about do anything for Lauren, including testing my patience. Tonight, however, patience is not on my side.
"I can tell her to leave if you want, bro?" Reece hesitating the offer, where I haven't said a word.
"..I know the shit you will have to deal with from Lau if you do." Gutted and defeated as the words form on my tongue.
Reece looks me square in the eyes waiting for me to say more but I don't. There's nothing more to say. He wants her to stay for Lauren but wants her to leave because of me. The conflict vivid in his eyes. He's beating himself up and he really doesn't have to. He does more than enough for me. This is the very least I can do for him.
"..You're an alright friend, Adler. Don't question it." Landing a reassuring hand on his shoulder and my best attempt of painting a smile on my face.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwCKxxWVYk
"..Speaking of friends, I take it you and Lau are on those terms again?" Changing the subject before he goes all emotional on me.
They have a good relationship Reece and Lauren. I almost envy it. When they aren't friends, they're a couple and when they aren't a couple, they're friends. They always take a step back if they are in different places in their relationship. Why? I think it's to ensure they go forward together. The only problem is when they do Tiffany shows her face. Apparently to support Lauren, not that she needs it. Her and Reece are always cool, she just likes to stick her spoon in to stir.
"Yeah... Lauren thought it was about time we lived together and I wasn't ready for it." Reece sounding as though this is the first time, he has heard the words out loud.
"..She has a key for your place and your car. Has your mum on speed dial, however you aren't ready for her to move in? I'm not even gonna bother putting my two pence in on this one, Adler." Trying so hard to hide my ironic tone.
"I know, I'm pathetic. I've heard that enough from Tiffany's trap. I'd really appreciate it if I didn't hear it from yours too, Guy." Aggravation and frustration deepening as he says her name.
"..As much as it pains me to say this, I've gotta agree with that bitch. Maybe this is the start of a beautiful friendship." The smirk apparent in my words.
Reece leers at me as I pass him his jacket. I flip down the passenger's mirror to check myself over while I give Reece the time to process my gag.
Fuck me, I look like the definition of shit.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxTuKneIPL
My eyes have circles beneath them exposing how fragile I really am. My blue eyes that once sparkled like storm clouds right before lightning hit, are now flooded with bloodshot rivers which replace my once silver hues. I stretch and rub at my eyes to resuscitate some life back into them. They have lost something, just like I have...
"You're a first class arse you know that." Reece jovially scorns.
"..Yep. You know me. Just your friendly neighbourhood dickhead." Again with the ironic approach, closing the mirror and shrugging at him.
"That's just putting it lightly. " Reece sneers.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvROWAq25I
"Enough jibber-jabber. You ready to come up, Guy?"
The part I've been avoiding since the mention of Tiffany. Out of all nights she has to be here tonight. The one night I'm truly vulnerable. The one night I can't predict.
"..You got a smoke and a light? I'll come up in a bit." Searching my pockets for the hip flask of whisky I had prepared and stashed earlier today.
"In the glove box like usual. Just this once don't get it in the car. Just had it cleaned." Reece says in an almost bored voice.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuMAYkWwaC
"And here," Reece chucks his keys in my direction. The clanging of metal goes through the air and lands in my lap.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZDVo0zQgi
"Lock up when you're done."
With that Reece gets out of the car and closes the door behind him. He gives me a quick grin through the window.
"I'll leave the door on the latch for you." Making his way to the apartment entrance, humming the opening tune to "I Don't Want to Wait."
"..Twat! You have to kill every joke." I taunt out of the window.
Reece turns and winks at me, grinning like the Cheshire Cat from Alice and wonderland before legging it to the shelter of the apartment. In his haste to avoid the rain, he dashes straight through a puddle.
I can hear him cursing it from the car slapping his drenched legs in anguish, as if the pool of rain was gonna pop up and apologise. I can't help but laugh at his stupid arse. His tall stature makes its way through the double black gloss doors. Now visible through the panes of glass in the luminous lobby waiting for the elevator.
"..Lazy son of a bitch." Muttering out loud to myself, spying him getting into the lift.
The cold metal doors slide to a close and Reece is now out of sight. Finally, I'm on my own again. Tonight, this is what I feel I need. My own space, even though I have that most nights now.
I slip a cigarette out of the pack and bring it to my lips. I glide my thumb over the reel of the lighter and hit the button when reaching the end to create fire. The flame illuminating my personal space. I lean the stick into it and the flames lick the end as I breathe it in. Again, it's all I know I can do is breathe.
The intake of its contents filling my mouth and hitting the back of my throat. I expel its vapour feeling the chemicals kicking in. Washing over my mind and body like waves flowing over a rocky shore. Fading out again when going in for another pull.
I unscrew the lid of the hip flask. The smoky yet intoxicating aroma of the whisky fills my nostrils. I chuck back a few gulps of the malted liqueur and it complements the taste left by the cigarette. The aftertaste burning my tongue leaving it with zesty undertones.
Taking another swig from the hip flask I watch the rain dancing on the pavement. Flicking the ash that has formed on the cigarette out of the window. I watch the cinders fall and dissolve on the wet surface of the road like the ground is acid. My thoughts regrettably aren't as easy to dissolve.
You're gonna have to face them eventually. 224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCJ4YSORUl
Sitting here isn't going to resolve anything.
One thing the voice is right about is that. This isn't helping matters. I mean for fuck sake why am I hiding out in Reece's car just because of one jumped up little bitch? Pathetic springs to mind.
You know this isn't just because of Tiffany.
Yeah, I know it's not just because of her. As much as I would want it to be. It runs deeper than that. She just doesn't help matters.
I devour the remainder of the contents of the hip flask and drag out the last of the cigarette, chucking it out of the window. If only it was that easy for me to shift whatever the hell this is.
I stuff the packet of cigs and the empty hip flask into my pockets. I pick myself up and it takes everything in me to get out of that car. I shut the door. The sound of it filling the darkness around me. The dimly lit street barely aiding me distinguish where the road ends and the pavement begins. I feel the breeze whipping up inside my leather jacket and I hold it close to me. Just like I would if it was her...
I put one foot in front of the other with a heavy heart. The rain throwing itself at me, insisting I'm not alone. Making me feel closer to her for the first time in what feels like an eternity. I stop in my tracks and I close my eyes. I open my arms out for her embrace. In return, all I feel is the rain slipping through my fingertips, just like she had...
I let the storm take me to somewhere I need to be.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tWGJjB5cy
With her.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aew2bXw2k
I can her voice whispering in my ears.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1Bs7fsC7z
I can feel her heartbeat surrounding me.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQm2lZEBdwM
It brings me some closure.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmhCzMjgGY
The rain washes away a lot of things but never the moments I had with her.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJX502N84pp
A smile spreads across my face. A genuine smile. A smile that I reserve just for her.
I don't know how long I'm out here for. I always lost track of time when I was with her. The rain is now just a weak cloudburst, as I awake from the reunion it's previous descendent had provided. The sensation that was part of me at that moment has also left me but a minuscule amount of it remains, etched on my skin.
The street now quiet, all I can hear is the passing traffic from neighbouring roads. The rain that has been my companion and feels this space around me, was now replaced with the chilling reminder of the empty night air. The resemblance to myself is too uncanny.
I take one last look at the vacant street and make my way to the entrance. The sound of my troubled footsteps bouncing off the walls. I stand before those damn double doors. Pulling at the handles, I take a deep breath.
Breathe, Guy, breathe.
Taking in the last of the earthy, fresh and almost sweet fragrance of the rain and the comfort it brings me. The memories I treasure thanks to it. The strength it gives me to continue this night.
"..Here goes nothing..." I say out loud to myself and enter the lobby.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHwHItuiX4
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