My favorite colors have changed over the years but a theme throughout them has remained constant… some shades of green, blue, or red have always been my go-to’s, regardless of being switched up some over time. Pink was my first favorite color, which is obviously in the red family. Then neon green, I believe, was my next favorite color, which is obviously in the green family. Then it turned to a teal/cyan blue — you know what? You get the idea. Reds, greens and blues were my jams — different shades from each family. Why I even mention this, was because Toby knew what my favorite color was then — which was crimson red. I don’t like that candy apple red color — nope. Give me black cherry or blood red. I also like darker, richer blues, like royal, cobalt or navy.
The ring in question — was a gorgeous promise ring. It was a band made up of small diamonds that connected to a dark red ruby in almost a heart-shaped pattern. He explained this meant that he wanted us to be together exclusively while he was gone.
I always had good intentions in the relationship — as I mentioned previously, he was my first real true love. I was madly in love with him.
I think I just got caught up in everything, began second-guessing, and ultimately ended up breaking up with him over a letter I sent to him while he was at basic training. Please don’t make me feel guilty — I already felt bad enough. I just couldn’t possibly imagine being in a long-distance relationship at that moment, and at that point in my life, I was dealing with a lot of other inner demons, so to speak, of my own at home. I just, I don’t know. I just felt compelled to break things off.
Things did end up working out for the best, as Toby is now in a happy relationship from last I heard, and I’m getting to how things ultimately played out for me. I did regret breaking things off with him there for the longest time — but I’m sure you know, time eventually heals all wounds — or at least makes them easier to cope with.
Sometime after my relationship with Toby ended, I was still working at the grocery store, and I ended up getting in a relationship with another guy that worked there — Garrett.
Garrett was one of those guys… at least, at the time this happened… that all the girls pined over. He had these gorgeous, stunningly vibrant bright blue eyes and was most definitely not bad looking in the least. He had just recently broken things off with his most recent girlfriend — and we began dating.
At this time, I was still living at home. Therefore, my parents always wanted to meet the guys I dated. Well, we invited Garrett to attend a Church service with us. On to my next relationship, my dad ended up calling off.
Garrett and I were sitting at the back of the Church holding one of the other members’ babies when the baby did something hilarious and made us crack up laughing.
Okay, yes. I am aware that might be considered disruptive — I’m aware. The Church I was attending with my family around this time only had maybe less than twenty people in attendance at the time… so a lot of the other members of the congregation couldn’t care less that we laughed at something funny an innocent baby did.
But, my dad did. He insisted that Garrett was a bad influence on me and that I was no longer allowed to date him. Even though I was already eighteen by this point, my dad made it very clear that if I were to continue living under their roof, I have to obey their rules. Fair enough.
So… I continued to see him… in secret.
Hindsight of mistakes in the moment are always twenty/twenty.
Around this time, my dad helped me get a job up at the hospital he worked at. He knew the manager and the big boss over the department I was applying for, so he walked me to the department to have my very informal interview.
I walked in to see some of the other people that worked within that department when I was interviewing, and I was super excited. I ended up getting the position, and starting there not long after… about a week or so.
By this time, I was still sneaking around behind my parents’ back seeing Garrett. He was a deadbeat, so I did all the work and paid for all our dates.
Again, hindsight is twenty/twenty.
After I began working at the hospital for a while, I made friends quickly and easily. I became the closest to a girl named Sarahbeth and a guy named Bryce. There was also this older gentleman, James, that I adored; he would always call me his little “love dove,” the way he talked and acted always reminded me of a skinnier version of Samuel L. Jackson. I was so heartbroken and devastated when I heard he had passed away after getting a heat stroke while sitting on his front porch in a chair.
I also made friends with a physical therapy tech who also worked at the hospital… I became friends with her by running into her numerous times and striking up conversations mainly outside the elevators as we both waited for them. Her name was Sara, and I became close friends with her and her sister, Stacey.
Remember them — they come back up later.
Over time, I learned the ropes of the job quickly. I was already in pretty good shape at this time, but this job required us to walk all over one of the biggest hospitals in the United States, making us cover approximately fifteen to twenty miles per shift, on average. So, needless to say, I got in even better shape by this point. Bryce and this other girl, Kristy, were the main ones to train me for the job. Kristy and Sarahbeth were both at the same level in the department that I was starting at. Bryce, however, was a team lead — one of the managers, and we became close friends throughout the process. I would talk to him and Sarahbeth about the things going on at home with Garrett — and how not to bring it up to my dad should they ever run into him at the hospital.
Little did I know, people at the hospital were the least of my worries when it came to Garrett… as this is about the time shit truly hit the fan. This was the night of the infamous car crash — and where I almost had to have the Jaws of Life come to my rescue.
