Chapter Theme Music: Urban Darkness Part 10 ~ Bjorn Lynne (Lynne Publishing)95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLHvnr7w9G
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<01/31/2014 - 06:30 | 1010 Link Street, Marietta, GA, USA>
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There have been days before when I was so tired in my mornings, I drifted back to sleep with what little consciousness I achieved with the alarms, too drained and out of it to bother staying awake. Today felt ten times more intense than the sensation I could recall. Even though I woke up to no alarms, (having not set them last night), I also struggled to remember anything about the day before. The blank space in my mind following a dreamless slumber is what led me to wanting more consciousness in the moment.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvm6dBBLYM
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I already knew that something was very wrong with the situation I was in. For one, my nose was down to the carpet floor, far away and far outside of the bed I normally sleep in. I was still in my locked room alone, but sleeping outside my bed was something I never do. The idea of it kept me awake longer.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVV5r3KhrL
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I want to say this moment is what spurred my mind awake, to achieve full alertness, at least enough to get up and figure out what happened, but no matter what I wanted, my body wasn't listening to me. Even though I could think clearly, my thoughts were so slowed down compared to before, fighting my every effort to stay awake. My whole body was sore from head to toe as well, as if I had been swimming in a pool for hours without rest.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡublfUhMQua
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The lights to my room were already turned on, though from the way I was sleeping, I had to assume nobody entered my room at any point to correct or question why I was knocked out on the floor. It was another factor that made no sense to me, since I don't sleep with the light on. At this point, I realized how serious the situation was. Through the initial burning of my retinas in the light, as I glanced around the room struggling just to sit up, all of my entire field of view kept weaning in and out of blurriness. Everything I looked at wasn't staying in focus.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sXfHSrnsP
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"What happened?" When I asked myself this aloud, I had to repeat my own words once more, confused by the distorted noise coming from my mouth. It wasn't my voice which was wrong, but the way I was hearing it. It felt like every sound was being muffled under a damp carpet, severely reduced in volume for reasons beyond my current comprehension. I would have started to panic now, if only I had the energy.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB203ThVBxM
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I couldn't ever recall a single moment in my life where I've been this exhausted before. The sleepiness I woke with wouldn't leave me alone or die down even a little. I checked over at my alarm clock on the ground, making out the time through my blurred vision since I wasn't too far from it. Six-thirty in the morning. I'm lucky enough to wake up on time by mere coincidence, but why did I sleep on the floor to begin with...?95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRihtfkclNe
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Right on cue, my memories of yesterday plowed through the mental fog consuming me, unwrapping the full package of what I went through. Given the gap after getting to my room, it didn't make a lot of sense, but I actually recalled feeling like I was about to pass out... I remembered feeling this way, then nothing after that moment, and then I wake up on the ground?95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuS8bZGpaq
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"Crap," I whispered. "I actually did pass out, didn't I?" Nothing else would make sense given what I currently know. I wish I had more brain power just to contemplate it. Deciding to try giving myself time to wake up with breakfast as fuel, I stood up, twisting my legs to the door; yet another mistake.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaBLiHNcLH
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My legs couldn't keep up with the constant twisting dizziness of my ruined balance, and I fell back to the floor just as quickly as I assumed I could stand. My fall was quiet to me given my reduced hearing, but I bet it was loud to anyone else. I made sure to land on my hands, having at least this much reaction time, but to see that I was so weak I could barely walk - made the morning mood dreadful. The sensation of my spinning surroundings didn't leave me anytime soon, and I was stuck on the ground with my slow thoughts.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡood1yaWm3x
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Calm down and think Reed. You passed out yesterday while connected to Lumina. The only thing I have to remember, is why. I enjoyed the date I had with Lumina yesterday afternoon, but I didn't have much time after that. I kept up with my water supply regularly during the connection, so it wasn't dehydration. The outdoor temperature never actually went to or exceeded the cut-off point of telepathy either, so that wouldn't make sense. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why it happened to me at all. The only thing I knew was that I wasn't supposed to go down the way I did yesterday, and it's probably the very reason I feel like a pile of trash right now.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjwVbK0gfE
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Through a series of yawns and passive waiting, I mustered up enough physical energy to stand up again, barely balancing with my hands on the walls for support. The first thing I did was drink what water I had in my room, which helped to a very small degree. The next thing I did was stumble to my bathroom mirror to check myself out.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZUFhpUhG8
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I really did look like a pile of trash today. My face said enough, between the heavy bags in my eyes and the pruniness of my cheeks. My vision was quickly restoring itself, but my eyes were only half open. I looked like a walking corpse, and I felt I could play the part too. Seeing little choice against the undeniable urge to let myself fall to the floor again and rest, I switched on the cold water of the sink, and splashed it dead center to my face.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbboCOuxqrE
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Hissing the droplets out the crevice of my teeth, I cringed from the horrible sensation of the ice cold feeling right on my warm skin. Splashing my face with cold water was most uncomfortable, though I did it a couple more times until I achieved the purpose I was hoping for. It's not a pleasant feeling, but using cold water to my face did what I was unable to earlier; wake me up.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVGRiawBtR
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I still had a long way to go compared to feeling normal, but at least now, my thoughts weren't dragging behind so severely. I was still tired to all hell, but this much alertness will prevent me from falling asleep standing up or passing out like I did before... This doesn't make sense. I don't suffer from fainting spells, so how could I, the person who never naps - sink so quickly into an exhaustion?95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1x3qiU2lH
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I was sure of myself enough to be suspicious. Ever since a few years ago, given my hyperactive state of mind as the average, I can tire out and sleep at the end of my days, but napping in the middle is something I've proven incapable of, even when in the depths of severe sleep deprivation. My thoughts lingered back to Lumina as I made way to the kitchen for breakfast. It would be too soon to call her back anyway, since I would need at least an hour of wake-up time to become capable again.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpeoTWQSta
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However, in the hour which passed me by, nothing about my current condition seemed to improve. I could eat and hold down food just fine, but as far as feeling exhausted to the brink of my breaking point, nothing changed for me. I actually had to repeat the same trick with cold water to my face several times, over and over again. When I went outside just for the purpose of contacting Lumina, despite it being brisk, my attempt to project telepathy to her failed entirely. I couldn't project psionic waves, not even the smallest amount!95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDe1pEy61K
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Even so, I was too out of it to panic or experience a full upset. My mental power was better put to lingering on why I felt so weak today. After going back inside to prepare my bag, which I kept downstairs, I wasn't able to hide my condition from the others.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuO1FrB8fv
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"You don't look well. Another headache?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPRRpK4Dvj
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I nodded quietly to my mother, denying the existence of any headache without thinking it through.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3ditYCJk9
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"You're not sick, are you?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtSMJVn0M8
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I nodded for no again after a five second delay. "Just tired." I really didn't want to bother going to school today. I can barely feel my limbs, can barely hear anything, and I might end up passing out if I don't wake up any further than now. However, I realized something just as stupid by her question.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdytguATa8P
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Something is obviously wrong with me, something outside my normal control. If it's bad enough to the point where I can't even project psionic energy, then I can't write this off as a weird experience to ignore. But all I have right now are the facts. I passed out yesterday, which is something nobody in this house knows about, somehow. The only thing linking me to this moment was my connection with Lumina. Something must have went wrong with the connection, or something. The point is, I think this might be related to an Altiri thing, or at the very least, a temporary breakdown of my own psionic powers. If I am sick or unwell, and the reason for it entirely pertains to something which is not of this Earth, then I can't afford to let anyone know. I can't go to the doctor, letting them poke and prod at my spectacle. I mean, what if the drain I'm feeling right now doesn't get better soon? People might think it relates to something else. I have no choice but to act as though I'm having a false start this morning, and leave it at that.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrkpovYxKg
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"Well start waking up. I have to take you to school soon."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKN5lyEqpvZ
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I did what I could to stabilize myself for the ride there, but if the rest of the day turns out to be like this moment here, I'm in for a long haul.
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<01/31/2014 - 08:30 | Cage High School (Calculus), Austell, GA, USA>95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRygWPOFkP
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"You really don't look like you should be here." Yet another obvious statement whispered towards me, this time coming from Laura. Everybody in class was taking occasional glances at me, since my severe exhaustion wasn't something I could fake my way through.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnPd0D2Tyc
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Yep, I'm in for another long haul. "I don't really care." I would have actually fallen asleep in class for sure, if it weren't for the handy ice-cold wipe I kept holding to my face the entire time. I soaked this thick rag in water, and took some ice from the lunchbox I had to convert into this makeshift contraption, being the only means of my continued consciousness. I figured it was the reason others were looking back at me, because of the rag among anything else.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCt6Unqu8RW
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I've already proven with certainty that something defiantly happened yesterday which wasn't supposed to. Morning exhaustion is one thing, but this constant threat of passing out again is certainly not normal. I still couldn't properly wake myself back up. I almost got sent to the nurse just on the way over here, when I struggled with balance in the halls. I had two strangers trying to hold me up since I couldn't walk in a straight line momentarily. That was embarrassing, and I'm willing to bet it won't be over anytime soon given the current track record.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqUeg7OvM0
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"You sure you don't want to see the nurse?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihlPSI6e4q
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"Sure enough." I wagged my hand a little above my face, which I planted into the desk below me. My hearing finally went back to normal since I got into class, but the constant exhaustion and dizziness lingered. I felt the demon of sleep trying to pull me back under, the sensation of bedtime doing its best to shut down my mind so that I could rest once more. Despite all appearances though, I made sure not to give in.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbfnrk29VS
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Going to the nurse or going home won't really help me. I don't want my parents to send me to any doctor since I know this can't be a human related event. More importantly though, I don't want to fall asleep right now. After considering what happened yesterday and the timing of it all, I passed out at around five pm, only waking up at six-thirty the next day. Sleeping for that long was bad enough, more so when I wasn't supposed to be ready for it. There's no telling what will happen to me if I sleep again, how long I'll be out for. I might not wake back up willingly, and then I'll really be screwed.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3E07eURNXu
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At the very least, I have to find out what went wrong before I can allow myself to rest again. I tried projecting again a few seconds ago, just as a test to see if I could project any random signals, but like before, my Cora was completely nonfunctional. This was the second big red flag that something major was wrong with me. Normally, through ailments of heavy mental exhaustion, heat, or even headaches, it's still easy to project blind signals. Sustaining each projection or matching the signatures with proper concentration is what becomes harder, but it's always still possible, unlike today; that's what's strange.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyVOdxQ8WB
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Based on everything that I could think to consolidate, there were only three scenarios that I could conclude making any sense right now. The first and easy scenario would be that I actually am sick with some horrible human disease, just something I've never-ever heard of before. I already have asthma and chronic headaches. Being a human sucks, so I'm sure there could potentially be something worse out there that made its way to me somehow.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtnzCbb3ZR
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The second scenario is one of the unknown, a situation that would only be possible as a result of my connection with Lumina, but also a situation which I have not learned before. Maybe something strange happened to Lumina that somehow affected me too because we were connected when it happened, but in this instance, I can't know more until I call her again and ask. I hope she's okay.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLNhaoRxov
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The other scenario, one that sent shivers of fear through me, would be too alarming to speak aloud, but it may have been responsible. The only other aspect that could make any sense, is Cora failure. I don't believe it is likely, and I don't think this is what happened to me, but I can't rule anything out yet. I remembered something about what Lumina told me before, that misuse of psionic energy can lead to something called psionic atrophy, as well as full-blown Cora failure, where this part of the brain shuts down completely following a severe enough strain to the region. This can also happen from psionic overload.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMXRihHPUw
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It could explain why I'm unable to project now, but I don't think this is the case. The Cora sector of the brain is vital; we need it functioning normally to live and breathe. Without it, we die. If I'm here and breathing now, I doubt I suffered any kind of brain damage. Still, if it was only for a moment, just a split second moment of Cora failure brought on by critical psionic stress, it would knock me out for sure. Hell, it should have killed me, assuming that's what actually happened.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdv5B5rIF6
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If it wound up removing my telepathy permanently, then I'm already dead anyway, as soon as I have the time to confirm it. I mean, I might be alive, but if I somehow permanently lost the ability to use telepathy, I'll just kill myself and be with Lumina that way. I refuse to spend a single second more on Earth if I can't be with Lumina anymore.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHy64S8n8z
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Still, it's too soon to conclude anything. Even if it was a brief moment of Cora failure, I have no proof, nor do I understand much about it... Guess this rag worked to wake up my mind to a better speed. It's too bad I'm overthinking all of the worst case scenarios with what energy I do have. For all I know, I could wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed as ever. I won't gain anything by worrying too much. If I give it time, I should be able to call Lumina again to compare notes.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjDyxskYIE
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Time was unfortunately all I had. It took 90% of the entire school day for enough of my energy to return to the point I could ditch the ice towel on my face, and I still couldn't project after I got back home. The moment I got home from school, I went straight to bed, sleeping with more ease than I ever did before.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcFp5AJSy3
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It was a Friday night then, so I didn't have to worry anymore for homework or alarms. For that reason, I slept eighteen hours through, staying awake for only four more, before sleeping again for twenty hours the next time. I never did get much better as time dragged on. Before I knew it, my weekend was near its end.
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<02/03/2014 - 20:01 | 1010 Link Street, Marietta, GA, USA>95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIq7gBraDDC
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I know I can do this... I just have to concentrate, and stay calm. I can do this. I sat in the silence of my room around me, windows open to let in the mild cold of the outdoors. If there was ever going to be another opportunity for me to bring back telepathy, it was now. I already gave it one attempt hours ago, when the temperature outdoors was at 57oN. I wasn't back to 100% yet, but my passive projection returned to me, so I thought I could call her today. However, despite all that should have happened then, I failed to make any connection with Lumina, and felt unusually weak afterwards for trying it.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUyVubmsHL
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So now, with the weather down to 53oN, I was about to try it again, giving this everything I had until I was successful. I had to maintain my projection for several seconds longer than I was used to, and I had to put in twice the effort to focus my psionic signatures, but before long, I heard the familiar voice that I wanted to hear again.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexAgwcBOTv
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"Reed! It's you!" She stood up with excitement to confirm and stabilize the connection, her voice echoing in my mind as I knew it should.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo35In460CS
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"Lumina! Finally, I managed to get through."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqwuTtzF84
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"I didn't hear from you for a while. What happened?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGc6kOnn5rv
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"Ugh," I was hoping she would know the answer to this question, but that obviously isn't the case here. I had to think back, recalled everything that I knew, comparing to what was and wasn't possible. Since I successfully made contact with Lumina again, it means the scenario of permanent brain damage was ruled out, calming me down instantly. "You, don't remember?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAovrDI1wna
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"I mean, the connection failed on us Friday, and next thing I know, you didn't call me back since... I wasn't well enough to take any call shortly after though. Something did happen to me when we disconnected last time."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJC14FunvN
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"I don't think it's normal to pass out from a connection loss."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9PcihikcU
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"Pass out? No, it wasn't that bad. I was drained so much at the end that I couldn't stand up on my own power for several hours, but eventually, I got back to normal... Why? You didn't pass out, did you?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9XvP4SIqD
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"Well, yeah." I kept to my physical voice rather than my telepathic mode, since it was simply easier on my mind this way. Even though the temperature outside was 53 Nixus, the connection strength felt like it was much weaker at the moment, like I could barely hold it together even now. I attributed this to my lingering weakness, to the fact that I still did not make a complete recovery as of this moment. Still, when I told Lumina what happened, I heard her gasp, and then felt an unprecedented level of guilt echo through both of us.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ONwXU6GC7
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"Oh my god! I'm so sorry Reed! I didn't know that's what happened to you."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kxI8RdtTi
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Her not knowing I passed out made sense to me. The connection probably killed itself the exact moment before everything went dark for me, so she had no knowledge of it. Lumina must have assumed the connection died simply due to weakness. Still, I had no idea why she was so alarmed by it. "What are you sorry about? It happens I guess. I think next time, we shouldn't push ourselves that far."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA79b4ecT4y
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"I can't believe it pushed you to passing out. Don't you get it Reed? That's never supposed to happen. You could have died!"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYA0K8AQYcJ
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"N—now you're being a little dramatic." I only said as much because I didn't want her words to be true. If I was so close to death, I never would have known about it. "Death by passing out?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJLPVY0PMD
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"Oh, this explains everything that happened now. How could I not have known? How could I have been such a fool?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLM1nl3RoU
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"You're losing me Lumina. I'm perfectly fine right now. I'm not dead, so stop acting like you just killed your husband."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsTRK7pWRb
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"How are you alive? People who suffer Cora failure usually die, or wind up in an irreversible coma. I'm happy you're okay Reed, but I can't just let this go. I'm the one responsible for what happened."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWZ8tUauLs
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"Lumina!"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFbTFBmuFc
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"What?" My shout made her jump in surprise, but at last, she was focusing on me.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbDs6S3cI0
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It still took a lot to piece together what must have happened, given how she is reacting now. Cora failure? I didn't think that was the possibility, and if it is, I should be in a coma or something, but I'm not. If Lumina is so sure she was responsible for this, even by accident, there should be proof of it. "I need to understand. I need you to start from the beginning and explain what happened to me, step by step. I'm doing okay right now, but I can tell I still need time later to recover. Whatever that moment was made it impossible for me to stay awake or project for three days! But I'm alive, and you are not going to beat yourself up about this unless I say so, okay?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcc2wncwSHy
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Lumina exhaled, trying to calm herself from the anxiety she threw herself into. Following her calm, she began to explain to me what she realized by this, what I couldn't understand without the knowledge of the Altiri Scions. "The only thing that makes sense is Cora failure, on your side. Luckily, it wasn't bad enough or intense enough to put you down, or to inflict permanent damage, at least as far as I can tell."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUdezgXS0f
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"I thought Cora failure was a more severe symptom of lethal psionic stress. I wasn't doing anything Thursday to bring on that much stress. So I don't understand how that could even be possible."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTLdUsyAlY
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"You're missing two factors Reed. Despite what you think, your mind was under severe stress the last time we were connected, you just couldn't sense it in time. I was actually in danger too. The only reason I got off easier is because I'm a stronger node; I can handle more than you in this situation."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOT7pWNVUnA
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlp4Z0mmXw
"What two factors?" I never knew being connected to Lumina could ever pose a dangerous threat, never in my life.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8M6GSYbrrd
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaf8iqXMuO
"The delay factor is one, something I forgot to account for that day. The other is the alteration of psionic loads, which went through a critical chain reaction."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLpsLrC70o
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EJETZemmq
"I said start from the beginning Lumina. I don't understand what a psionic load really is, or the delay factor you mentioned."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3t4PP7tBoZ
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZyCdwcbwA
"Psionic load simply pertains to the current stress level felt by the Cora part of the brain, during ability usage. Getting near 90% for a few seconds can kill even us. If anybody managed to properly project psionic energy with enough strength to stress and strain their Cora sector, it can disrupt the neurological process and lead to fainting, loss of consciousness, coma, psionic atrophy, or even death. It isn't thought of as a variable in most instances, except where purging and telepathy gets involved."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCTBJHUVAx
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmlcXUhbKp
"Telepathy... As I remember it, two people in a telepathic link actually share psionic energy, though this process is never clear to me."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yYI5THtiZ
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxWcM0THW8
"When two people are connected, what they're sharing isn't only psionic data, but also each other's respective psionic load levels as well. For us Altiri, it's no challenge to us at all. We share 50% of the load, while the stress to our Cora is probably less than ten percent during such. But when a human and an Altiri need to telepathically link, the stress levels go much further, since more energy is required to keep it going, as the human node is the weaker node."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8o9MMN0qJc
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiq7GejL8Q
"I remember this part, but don't jump ahead here."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Wl9kqzBiU
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ol2raydhl
"Because there is a difference in our psionic strength in telepathy, there is variance in the psionic load we must share while connected, in order for the connection to be stable, and for neither one of us to fall flat on our faces from the energy we use in the process. Instead of an even split, I share about 60% of the psionic load, while you only share 40%. Since I can handle a lot more, this setting is most favorable."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDe2GhfDwU
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYtsveZ7OS
"Okay." It's like she's talking about some kind of resource utilization of RAM on a PC. Call me a nerd, but it's the only way I can keep up so far.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVVIHZZ2FL
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNDEAWqRSS
"It's fairly difficult for me to do anything which would alter the allocation of energy we give to telepathy, but it is possible. Last Thursday, when the connection was becoming so weak due to the temperature outside, I decided to go for telepathic amplification. Each time I invoke this, the parameters of the connection change, allowing myself to inherit about 88% of the psionic load, while you only inherit 12%."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWlXA4J2a2
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MmmBfocAR
"But I thought going near 90% would kill you."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapeMIeu8IB
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVtUkakrHU
"The psionic load in the instance of telepathy pertains to allocation proportion, not the actual stress. However, with that horrible connection, the stress level did increase for me a lot more anyway. There's one thing you might not have understood before, and it's that telepathic amplification doesn't actually make the connection stronger. All it does is shift the psionic load onto me, lowering the energy requirement for your brain to share more psionic data between the two of us. I inherit more stress, but even at that point, I can sustain it for a fair amount of time."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqLmQZSJm6
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVEL7fwYZm
"I don't see how this caused my psionic crash."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVqQj2o2t2
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxybGHfyRo
"The proportions of psionic load and what each of us can handle is not equal, specifically because of the last part. 90% psionic load for me would equate to 240% psionic load to you, assuming we were to swap places while using the same amount of energy projection. If you controlled most of the load of our telepathy, you specifically would pass out on the spot. Normally, it wouldn't be possible for you to inherit anything above 50% of the load during telepathy, but last Thursday, you did."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQedbuqOH30
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyI7Rmf4fN
"How?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Tc3u775H1
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"In a horrible chain reaction neither one of us saw coming. We've been connected in 58oN weather before, several times; it isn't unusual. But think back for a moment. What was different about that time than all the others?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf17b4KvGYl
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7DST8z4Gh
Since she put me on the spot, I actually turned my gaze thinking about it all. In every instance I've ever been connected with Lumina before, when the connection was incredibly weak, I would wind up becoming weak myself, usually in one hour or less. Then, I would either decide to let her go and call her later, or wait for the connection to die on its own at 60oN, which would generally happen in a seven minute period, tops. However... "When it got to 58oN, it didn't go up or down, it just stayed there."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84fzFOi3ye
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbF32AMTwA
"Exactly. You and I have never encountered a connection under those circumstances before. Being liked in a warmer temperature isn't bad, and it doesn't really drain either of us too quickly. In all instances, the temperature in your area goes up from that point pretty quickly. Except this time, it did not. It stayed that way for more than an hour, and before that, it was still above fifty-five... Neither one of us wanted to disconnect and try again later. I wanted to keep the connection alive at all costs, desperate to be with you longer."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0x6kHdGZtO
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThhuJasq9R
At least now I see where this is going. The connection becomes weaker at this temperature, and therefore, harder to maintain, while draining both of us in periodic energy more than any other setting. Dealing with that stress is only a small hassle, until it becomes a long-term constant drain. I didn't want to let her go either, but now it's clear why she's guilty about this. "That's still not your fault Lumina... I should have been aware of that too. If you want to call yourself stupid, then I'm an idiot too."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4x8FVt52cv
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZIFYiRMNB
"When a connection between us is weak like that one, psionic load doesn't change much, but the energy requirement to keep the link alive goes up significantly. It's the reason why you and I both become weaker from the drain to a poor connection. The thing is, I tried to use amplification during that state, and I of course succeeded."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwgJRro0zp
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYsE5UpC1x
"I see. It's not bad enough that you went from 60% allocation to 90%, but you also did this when the connection was about to fail in the first place, which strained both of us even more, but mostly you."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJftvmXEnC
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiDXQcjHNW
"Yes. Keep in mind that psionic energy between us is shared in a pool while connected. The connection was failing in that state already, which required even more energy from the both of us. Without realizing it, due to the amplification, the psionic load for me continued to trickle up just to compensate for the increased strain, while your psionic load trickled down. You wouldn't have noticed it since the energy requirement was going up at the same time, but for me, it was an absolute disaster. I knew I couldn't keep the amplification up, so I just let it go and stopped relying on it."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOd3INOZYnp
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ETxZhj7P7
On the edge of my seat, I continued waiting for her to explain the full chain reaction that nearly killed us both.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05j5m8YNtg
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriQ4jby2I5
"It was already too late. Even though I let go of the amplification, the strain had already taken out most of my saved psionic energy, too much for myself to keep the connection going, but just within range enough for you to pull the crumbling weight. The reason I didn't realize I overdid anything until it was too late, is because there is a ten second delay factor between the psionic strain we inflict on ourselves, and the drain we feel afterwards, assuming we remain conscious long enough for those ten seconds. This only makes it more dangerous."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7kviKLKof
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"I don't get it."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcygLsCYmI
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0T9B38vwn
"Even after I dropped the amplification, my psionic load kept rising anyway, all on its own because it was the only way to keep the connection alive. This put even more stress on me, raising the energy requirement and causing the load to go up even more, and so on and so forth, until I just couldn't handle it anymore. I should have simply disconnected, but the moment put me in a daze, so I couldn't concentrate on anything beyond that point. At the end, it was too much for me, and I collapsed."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZKUqCjGRp
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXEh3woxsb
"But you didn't pass out like I did."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqwquEG7LJ
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pKyBEHb1m
"Because of what happened next. The connection didn't suddenly fail simply because I ran too low on energy. What happened instead, was that the psionic loads between us started to invert. Both of us had become accustomed to keeping active connections alive, requiring full effort of either of us just to shut one down manually. So when I went down, nearly passing out myself, the connection was still going. Since I was out of energy at that point, unable to provide you anymore since we're supposed to share it anyway, the load went all the way off of me and straight onto you. Instead of the two of us handling the connection at the same time, for what would have been a split second, your brain took on a majority of the psionic load, and tried to handle and maintain our telepathic connection all on its own. You carried the burden of full telepathy while it was already failing, jumping from 40% to 90% without either of us realizing it... Humans are only rated for a maximum of 50% in telepathy for brief periods Reed."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYmIUwI2r4
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLthQSkGFBF
"Wow... I don't know what to say." Once again, she blew my mind with another psionic lesson, though this sounded way more serious than I wanted to treat it.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZFyR0yqcO
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUZ6SApRWE
"For that brief moment, you started stressing your own Cora sector by a factor of 240% just to passively maintain the connection. In all instances, you should have died. And stupid me would never have been aware of it had that happened either, except for the biolution."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuE79r7xeH
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXdliEGlDg
"Then explain to me how I'm okay now." All of her mathematics sounds dangerously cool, but the last bit didn't add up... I believe her on everything else. What I've felt over the past three days really does make it seem like my brain overloaded, or something.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqk0b0BPAH
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPSETV5Qcy
"Because when it happened to you, the connection failed on its own anyway, probably because of how quickly the instance drained you combined with how weak it already was with the temperature. Even though you took on 90% of the load, you only sustained this for a split second before the connection failed, ceasing all passive projection for the both of us. If the connection did not fail as quickly as it did, you would have certainly wound up in a coma... But I'm glad to see you're okay, and to see that the shock to your Cora sector didn't have any lasting effects."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHofvuYhVa7
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsVh5tT6J3
"... You know, I never knew until now that telepathy could literally kill me."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGrlIMamGB
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKKZdMoYzW
"I'm sorry Reed. There's nothing I can do to apologize more. I need—"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZxbl78Dv8
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdoEDB5V6p
"Stop it. I won't have you apologize."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpv1MPZjqIY
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FL97jUkkL
"But my carelessness nearly killed you!"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYegxHrWS0
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYi5wlMGrF
"I don't care." My words shut her up, but the lingering silence presented the awkwardness between us now. Lumina sees herself as the person who nearly pulled the trigger on my death, a death I avoided from dumb luck."Everybody makes mistakes, and it's because of those mistakes that we get to learn something from this."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjg28dnHYyT
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpMlr2JnqD
"Some mistakes kill Reed. I don't want this to ever happen again." She was trying to hide it, but Lumina was shaking ever so slightly, distraught by realizing how close she came to wrecking everything, all from the desire to hang out with me.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPvniPub6L
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It's a guilt we both share, blame be to all of us for not having a means to prevent the rarity. "Which is why, I'm implementing a new ground rule."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2Fv0FmJSk
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"Huh?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqj0B3q1O2
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"There's no telling whether the conditions for this could be repeated, even without your amplification mistake. So, instead of allowing telepathy to fail automatically when it warms up outside, I'm now setting our maximum cut-off point at 55oN instead of 60oN."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZc7gk7I7D
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLEfgxSZcM
"I don't understand."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFkpTMxMB6
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTicWs9vJN
"It's simple really. Even though I'll still be able to handle a connection above 55oN and below 60oN, it's obvious that this carries risk if ever the temperature locks into this range. So, from now on, if I ever want to establish a connection with you, it must be 55oN or lower when I start, and not a single degree higher. If you and I are already linked, and it starts rising above 55oN, then we'll have to manually disconnect and say our goodbyes before it can reach 60oN. Furthermore, I'll make the exception of calling you between 55oN and 58oN if all weather reports and other signs prove the temperature will soon drop afterwards, as opposed to staying stagnant."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfpl6kbhSs
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOLmoOyU4i
"A new rule? At 55oN, you drop the connection on purpose?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNqUVGwQgs
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"Correct. I know it's not the most exciting news I'll ever have to give you, but I can't afford to have that happen again either."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmxN2B4Wri
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"... Okay. I'm still sorry this happened though."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeyla6fpHz
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"So am I. I should have known not to push myself." I knew I would argue with Lumina if she tried hogging all of the responsibility again, but at least I can already tell that she's calmed down. Just by implementing this new rule in our telepathy, it will keep us both safer from Cora failure going forward. It's a step in the right direction, to take action I mean.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWREGM30Cj
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlfstYuOvY
"What if I make another mistake someday, and it gets you killed?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrhfWTSDdh
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"You won't."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJ7UXm1Y7d
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"And how can you be so sure?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnB9su03ccb
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"Because," I replied with calm solace."I won't let you make a mistake that big, ever again."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB00LLkxv3D
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"If you say so."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHOKcenCqy
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"Enough of that Lumina. Look, you want to finish our movie where we left off?"95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF45SVONcbp
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDux64GIlzL
"Can we finish our movie right now? The connection isn't exactly strong. I see visual snow through your eyes."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTxxiOwrw7
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"Let's see." I should have done this earlier, before asking her about the movie, but it's best I do this anyway. I pulled out my phone, and connected the new weather app to the internet. The app shows me the current temperature, as well as a full hourly breakdown of the temperature changes to be projected. Of course, it was already 55oN by this point, and it was actually set to go up three degrees in two more hours. "I'm afraid not today. It's already going past the new limit I've set in less than an hour, so this will have to be it for tonight."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHJe8HBOuo
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"Oh."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxDrtJnuJH
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"Don't worry Lumina. I can call you soon tomorrow or the day after, whichever one comes first."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJ26iTqAAd
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHfRvsYX3V
"I'm okay... I just wanted more time with you is all."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKMrpYKLfZ
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"You and me both. We do what we have to do for now, and meet up again later. It's not the end of the world, alright?" Like I'm one to talk. The amount of times I broke into tears last summer in her absence removed all intent I had for my question not to be rhetorical. In all of this, I forgot that Lumina cries a lot missing me too. She suffers to my absence just as much and as often as I do. Some days, I'm more put together than she is, and on other days, she's the one holding everything up.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fj5eHIdTA
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"Alright."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTkpAvBvZM
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"As long as you understand. I love you Lumina."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZkcHp0LZt
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC9BFyIoZS
"I love you too."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQIprFrsHy
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"I'm going to have to shut down the connection for now, until it gets cold again, which won't be for at least tomorrow night."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMIbOxOvAI
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"Then I'll expect you then."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZUlSjp9uX
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"If the weather is on our side at least. Goodnight for now, Lumina."95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eti9wSZjx
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdIybFWQav
"Goodnight, Reed." Both of us just sat still in place, breathing in synch. We both knew how we felt for each other, how badly we wanted to be in each other's arms. But this isn't a fairytale; it's reality, and I have to take it one step at a time. Doing as I needed to, I shut my eyes once more, concentrating on the other half of my ability, shutting off the connection. It wasn't difficult, and involved much less projection strength than anything else. As soon as the connection was gone, I could feel the absence about me, the removal of Lumina's senses from my synapse.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviuheAVr7y
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I felt okay up until ten seconds later, when a severe amount of fatigue crushed what energy I had left for the day. This must have been the ten second delay factor Lumina mentioned earlier, and the reason I didn't know how weak I was right before passing out. I guess it applies to every psionic ability, even telepathy.95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bD17Tk2lL
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzEDgw8ovR
I haven't learned anything happy today. Apparently, telepathy can kill people too. Any psionic ability we use can be fatal if we stress ourselves too much using these abilities in the process. It shouldn't even be possible to reach that point, but it is. I'll have to be more careful going forward about this in the future. Hopefully, the recovery I'm going through will be done soon enough, leaving me with no scars afterwards.
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGNmKlGMUV
