又是一陣沉默，然後妍妍轉頭看著我問道：「呀遊。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBDNjEzXze
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY23Rztp7qm
「…係？」我回答。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02iT90ibHg
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjsEUaBftb
「你覺得PTGF係做Ｄ咩？」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3S9hKrGAn
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1lQmWEoBi
PDGF，是Part Time Girl Friend簡寫，老實說不是甚麼新興東西，以往的名字有很多，援交，出租女友，兼職女友，爸爸活，Sugar Daddy之類…當然，仔細劃分用字定義還是能分出差異的，但…1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TMDWb7kVE
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CFABGaimK
「因金錢利益與男性發生關係」，這點應該不會錯。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb58rwr1GOk
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVF7ilQe2c
妍妍看著海說：「嗯，可以咁講…雖然有Ｄ女仔堅持唔上床，只係行街睇戲食飯拖手之類，但係…」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ965JZDYlgz
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzWjTOaGha
我等著她最後那句。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWW4dj9BpA
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJTHwOdt5E
「…我唔係個種。」妍妍說。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFYTRi86YV
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVeauQngKO
「嗯，我聽緊。」我說。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22rWP8rlwn
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AJZlqHlti
她看看我，似乎發現我表情眼神沒甚麼變化後似乎放鬆了一點：「我仲以為你會介意添。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzstQrms1t
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAsxpFhsYN
我失笑：「我又唔係你邊個，有咩好介意？」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUQPiggE8R
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YOdcva5Ng
「即係如果我同你親密Ｄ既你就會介意？」她反問。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCdwdEPjJ1
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUd45wCu4f
「我唔回答假設性問題。」我擺出官腔，因為我真的不知道。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQLMevIRTM
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnzyJhdzQA
妍妍喝一口啤酒：「不過都唔係每個男仔我都會同佢做…普通都係遊下車河，去船P，食飯個Ｄ，如果真係岩Feel同信得過既先會做。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzzRKSqW0R
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdG7te1KHuw
「咁…」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq34WowH1Ei
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6S5xQk42c
感覺我說甚麼也會錯。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0G5SdSxAb
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEHz9greM5
「之前我咪問你關於Deep-World，黑PR既事…我都係係客身上聽返黎，有錢人就有呢Ｄ門路，總之，我係想搵黑PR黎對付我唯一既個個EX 。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNe0RhY9wHL
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzz38aGlsYw
妍妍說過她是A1，即是現在單身，但曾拍過一次拖。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nLJLNk6R8
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmjPAty4Zp
「嗯，你講過。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGsMNDVBWV
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EmX1Lzrse
「但我估唔到你會記住。」她說，「估唔到你會記到童桐以外既事啊？」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sQEVEAFdD
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMypbAgx22M
「咪笑我啦。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gPMgsgC5i
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9qvEGT8Ye
她笑了。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaunnOlBmA
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHA9llMGuJd
「尋日係好日，佢就係尋日結婚…」妍妍看著漆黑的海說，「終於都完，感覺就好似發左場夢咁。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0E694GvWyg
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QvUWitbsY
「係好夢定惡夢？」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoy0Cr8NKfi
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV5f1ZwB0Z
「…同現實比，係好夢。」她說，「同個時我地打算過既將來比，係惡夢。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMUi0zIvjH
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNAzdW4rtW
我仔細咀嚼這一句當中的含意。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ttj7MNmWe
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2D3mexVeb
「曾經我同你一樣啊，呀遊。」她說，「曾經我都將一個人視為全宇宙，視為我既一切，我既世界就係圍住佢轉。過去，現在，未來，都因佢而起，因佢而存在，亦因佢而有寄望。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2qcGw9LbZ
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLapvbMqNCk
雖然我猜到了個大概，但我決定沉默。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9uW9LPrMX
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKORdPLCv6R
有時候甚麼也不回應，只是陪伴，就是最好的回應。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA81iSimET5
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1ExVV4o4B
「我係你身上，就好似睇到曾經既自己咁。」妍妍說。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzvktUb6tv
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTShOBrv2I3
然後，她把頭靠到我的肩膊上。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyok2qAISfM
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmohrvF65s
「仲相信愛情，只為左一個人而活，全心，全靈，為左自己鐘意既人博盡全力去爭取，連對手係植嵐晨咁既級數既人都繼續前進。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiLjAalmC9
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdo85m6Gxqf
她一頭棕髮沿我胸膛傾瀉而下，撲鼻而來的是她頭髮的香氣夾雜海水咸味。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60CbbSdtQA
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7Ye4CIC9s
妍妍深呼吸，然後嘆了一口氣：「唉，但…依加已經完晒，其實早就應該完，當年就應該完，係我一直放佢唔低，直到佢尋日婚都結埋…我先知道一直走唔出去既人係我，亦…只有我一個。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hzZtHyoNs
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqLQwYnSEu
在之前我也想像過童桐結婚而新郎不是我的畫面。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJqZGSLnNF
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5hDjdChns
在之後，我連想像的勇氣也沒有。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuWxDoFVz4
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6opkU17Gb7
那是信仰的崩潰，世界的崩潰。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfa4MVjD0FT
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62rqR3rKo9
萬物的崩潰。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97trw8TrNp
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3MSIyLMLd
「所以你分手之後做PTGF…係因為…」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLalI7NIMoV
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3kSU8xQF1
「我以為佢會在意。」妍妍自嘲地冷笑，「至少以為佢會嬲，佢會話我污糟之類，但係…佢根本完全唔在意，我試過自己上網唱佢，佢都係理都唔理，本身至少想佢憎我，如果可以，我想佢至少憎我一世。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXZ6MSJvUI
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNlcIIEaQw
妍妍說著說著，眼淚便靜靜的淌下。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDYRp3Ifxp
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9BORczF1V
「點解…點解連憎我一世都唔可以？」妍妍哽咽地說，哭著的她全身在發抖。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7wgNpcPjp
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ41KXemWDq
愛的反面不是憎恨。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQCbeNg7bD
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaq7MxOK83a
愛的反面是徹底的無視和冷漠。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyZC5tw0pp
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKWDYJllcR
不知道是不是她已經習慣了這表情，竟然連抹也不打算抹，恍如連自己也要放棄自己一樣。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrsHMM1fhF
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XD5cmdLdP
這光景，我看過。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIQbKWT3FH
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLHpgtVo9z
我在曾經的自己身上看過。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHuz6VMIMM
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstBfpXyd10
「你唔應該咁對自己。」我掏出紙巾輕印她的眼淚，「始終要放下。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXc71rLPQ5
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKAIyDdfsm
「我知，但我做唔到。」把頭枕在我肩上的妍妍說，「等於我叫你放下童桐一樣。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JDr3r7gHZ
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLWheCcDYS
「無可能。」我搖頭。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bo960wERa
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhj7QlAVcyu
「嗯，無可能。」她點頭。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48FXH6NHe3
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCoiLt47XE
她繼續說：「一開始我只係咁自暴自棄，後來…我就覺得無所謂，點都無所謂，同唔同既男仔去玩，去蒲，做咩都好…我已經無所謂，過得一日就一日，反正又有錢收。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RoyxPsiJM
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQSSnaf8R8
她打了個哆嗦，然後說：「既然唔知做咩好，咁樣就做咩都得。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmazkGXEqh
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXj7HUFvJVM
失去人生目標的滋味，我倒還記憶猶新，大約幾小時前吧。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCGRUBa6Jj
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVPAjySR26
而且再往前回溯，在中學畢業後的暑假我也是這樣，唯一等待的就是自己慢慢在角落腐爛，做任何事也只是因本能而行動，也不記得今天是星期幾，幾月幾日，因為沒有需要。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4yltO3XzK
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwaBcxD0c9
甚麼也再沒需要了。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIWTjDF4qE
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWW2fdjfzsQ
妍妍在我身上看到曾經的自己。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZI6YPj8iF
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4k7HqhSKpx
我也在妍妍身上看到曾經的自己。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVHcRolhEB
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0vMzE8y36
我把自己那時的頹然喪志和妍妍說了個大概，她同樣地靜靜的聽著，而且聽著聽著她把自己雙腳抱住，似乎好像聽到甚麼不願意回想起的事一樣。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4qLwTrKI1
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeI5OwTtNt0
話畢。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFjNA9hvUg
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXS72cBbQ7Z
妍妍閉上眼思考了一會兒，然後開口說：「睇黎我黎搵你呻係正確既選擇。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCLJNkGjbm
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtwwTHfxv4
「你想既，幾時都可以。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraOQZ78i3D
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfjvNUYUUO
她沉默了片刻。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AqoHL9y2o
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuoqoVPmPw
「咁你個時點走出去？」她問我。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgVny67T28
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZbLwoxsNa
「一黎童桐唔俾我繼續摺落去喇。」我說，「二黎就係射返箭，射箭個時個人會好專心，射中靶會好有成功感，漸漸就走左出黎。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfjRb9G9Mx
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEplDWaanCY
「無興趣。」她微笑說。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpL7GvXGGcY
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTC5TY1mGVL
「…咁點解個時你唔搵我？至少我可以好似童桐拖我出房咁樣幫你，我地細個都一齊玩過，我唔會唔理你。」我說。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaXbeRB1eB
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrawBnqkbc8
「個時我都未搵返你。我地細個個時又無Facebook IG呢Ｄ。」妍妍說，「係去到情聖係TG Group臨時要女仔同你去街，我先知個個係你。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxeJCC5y18
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrsA4Svbav
「係咪…好失望？」我苦笑，「搞到要搵PTGF………雖，雖然係用黎激童桐啦，我本身都無諗住要搵PTGF，一日都係情聖自把自為，未未未未等到30歲轉生做魔法師囉…」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYigoymHORJ
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8o6Tca1kD
我說到了後半句才發現自己的發言何等窩囊，馬上手忙腳亂地想修正，但是似乎愈描愈黑。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2AMBEe7pR
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTGntLKcNb
「好啦，唔使解釋。」妍妍被我的慌張樣子逗笑，「你真係除左射箭咩都唔識架喎。」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9Oas1OBJ1
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiN6SmtegD6
「連你都咁講，嗚…」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdlr2GMOVD
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqH1nAoPOy8
「咁樣先係你既賣點。」妍妍輕撫我被海風吹亂的頭髮說。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1NojLZ3eG
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcjLYLrUCP
同樣是看到我使出全力追求童桐，情聖在我身上看到自己沒有之物並覺得耀眼，而妍妍在我身上看到曾經的自己並覺得懷念。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKFSoNrAmo
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡup0pAhWBj2
我完全不覺我自己會為任何人帶來啟發，但似乎他們不這樣認為。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7udZDp1PhH
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9eX6UsgZc
「咁你以後有咩打算？既然個個人已經連婚都結埋。」我說。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5L5elr9nB
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIydNFAI0P0
「……我唔知。」妍妍看著海的雙眼變得空洞，不過她還把頭靠在我肩上，我很有信心她沒有任何投海的念頭。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiL47Ov1uaL
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAiBICTT9z
然後她開口問：「你呢，如果最後童桐都係唔同你一齊，你又有咩打算？」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghwpYfQZQU
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fFIgIJYyL
「……我唔知。」我給出和妍妍一模一樣的答案。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaykgNI9J5t
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAPxFqpjHi
看來我真的沒有鼓勵人的天分，但畢竟我也自身難保嘛。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTRSJF4e2B
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJH9LkIxBx
「……」1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA59WE42WnZ
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetw2feaJMa
兩個不知還可以怎樣辦的人，就這樣互相倚靠在一起，坐在海邊喝著廉價的啤酒，吹著因暑氣而帶點異味的海風。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGL9NxWcrNB
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeyYvfw6cO
不是甚麼事也能憑決心，憑努力去改寫的。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkp7atpevg
1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRx9jIDa9NK
夏天，也到尾聲了。1047Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAIKjOKz41
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