774Please respect copyright.PENANAcb6SCpqQWJ
當我折返盧卡斯的狗竇時,恐怖的疲憊如潮水般向我襲來,我旋即昏死在他那浚亂不堪的床上,我有理由相信我並不是睡眠,我而是死了……774Please respect copyright.PENANA3SSTEHR9jz
774Please respect copyright.PENANAKHx723NulE
究竟睡眠和死亡有沒有分別?它們是兩種不同的生理狀態?還是互相從屬?抑或,死亡只是一種不會醒來的睡眠狀態?774Please respect copyright.PENANAIbSeY1aJbL
774Please respect copyright.PENANAPLrPXnkAll
不要問我睡了多久,醒來時候,我只感覺到肉體處於完全抽離的狀態,我的意識甚至需要用十多分鐘才能回歸到肉體裏,我嘗試動動眼皮,然後我看見盧卡斯的背影,他坐在電腦前,熒光屏上是外國人的四仔畫面,盧卡斯身體在微動著,右手放到下體,不停搖動著某東西,這種姿勢我知道他在做什麼,他正在打飛機!774Please respect copyright.PENANAAVZZWMVQ3Q
774Please respect copyright.PENANAqz6PiOKasU
對!一個年青人對著電腦播放的咸片打飛機!何其天經地義!但是盧卡斯竟沒有避忌蝸居裏多了另一個男人仍打飛機……由此推論,我一定睡了很久很久,時間久得他連背著我打飛機都沒有戒心。774Please respect copyright.PENANA0SiYpRSm9j
774Please respect copyright.PENANACh4U952GKQ
外國人的四仔很公式,裏面的演員都好像性愛機械人(Sex Robot)般不停為做愛而做愛,單看他們的表演(相信我,一定是表演)令人很難想像他們日常人生是怎樣過活的。這種跨張的、抽離的演技,活像共產主義之父馬克思(Karl Marx)早年提出的異化概念(Alienation)。異化;故名思義就是由一個「原本的狀態」變成「另一個狀態」的描述,既然馬克思哲學以「人」作出發點,那麼我們即可以問,人「原本的狀態」是一個什麼的狀態?馬克思認為人的「原本的狀態」基本上本是「善良的、是應追求自由、不受束縛,而達到自由、自主、自我創造、自我生成、自我實現的目標」,但有史以來人類卻常是作繭自縛,創設一大堆的社會結構(典章制度、法律機制、主產、銷售、貿易等模式)來範囿人性的發展,以致人類的創造性潛力遭受阻抑,其能力也難得發揮。而資本主義世界,更把異化現象推至另一個扭曲人性本來面目的層次。本來是一群平凡人,便因色情電影的商業價值和銷售利益而變成為做愛而做愛的機械人在不停以各種姿勢做愛…做愛…做愛……774Please respect copyright.PENANARMLeQ1ELbr
774Please respect copyright.PENANAfOcTDph6qD
我能夠動了,如果我現在喝停盧卡斯!他一定非常尷尬,但看著他繼續打飛機,我亦非常難受吧?774Please respect copyright.PENANA2TJP5YcNRR
774Please respect copyright.PENANAoMWaB8qeqq
蒜狗掃把!於是我大叫:「喂!幾點?」774Please respect copyright.PENANAQ0vOiW9eDu
774Please respect copyright.PENANAcZXYauIMZ8
然後,盧卡斯整個僵住,電腦熒屏上的咸片視窗倏然一收,換上另一個滿佈密密麻麻英文的網頁。774Please respect copyright.PENANAGr8Cqs7BSn
774Please respect copyright.PENANAjIExgDgPIa
三秒後,他若無其事轉頭對我說:「Yo,波叔,你醒喇!」774Please respect copyright.PENANA6kpknFEUlO
774Please respect copyright.PENANAxPHSOVudv2
我的視線不其然集中在盧卡斯的右手上,幸好他仍未『出野』,不過有點濕濕地、黏黏地、都是正常的。774Please respect copyright.PENANAX2BxBHEjaZ
774Please respect copyright.PENANAjktpBBH81M
盧卡斯是聰明人,他知道我看什麼,他笑笑說:「Yo,我去洗手,再同你買野返黎食Yo。」774Please respect copyright.PENANABl46aAUZkO
774Please respect copyright.PENANArpeIhAChgl
屌你老母,你唔Yo係咪會死?774Please respect copyright.PENANAVtXw3FzPKR
774Please respect copyright.PENANA7wrB3zoBlo
774Please respect copyright.PENANAzJFAxecNN6
醒來後,我屙了一篤我不能想像的大尿和大屎,馬桶都差不多塞了,連沖七次才能把我所有排出的東西沖走……之後,吃了我不能想像的大量垃圾食物,其中包括漢堡包和魚柳包,在此期間,我向盧卡斯敘述了我離開他之後所發生的一切……774Please respect copyright.PENANArtr9kY8iFQ
774Please respect copyright.PENANAfpqahlesZX
一邊點著茄醬食薯條的盧卡斯對SM鴨托洛斯基特別感興趣。「Yo,條友都幾奇……幾攪笑!」774Please respect copyright.PENANAwo1chpMUsk
774Please respect copyright.PENANAoYDaGofmnJ
係,現在的年青人什麼都會用『攪笑』去形容,其實最『攪笑』的是他們才對。774Please respect copyright.PENANAheWmL3efeR
774Please respect copyright.PENANArOol0JWmQm
「究竟我訓左幾耐?」吃完東西,補充好體力的我問。774Please respect copyright.PENANAX935E8feLv
774Please respect copyright.PENANAd7y0NIVnG2
盧卡斯看看電腦的canlender,說:「四日三夜……」774Please respect copyright.PENANAmk4zUAqbTl
774Please respect copyright.PENANAohhx848Ghc
「我冇醒過?」我說:「連去廁所都冇?」774Please respect copyright.PENANANTF1MsM7Gi
774Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5D6pX9ERr
「冇。」盧卡斯說:「我甚至以為你死左,諗住打911,不過你有鼻航,噪到仆街。」774Please respect copyright.PENANABx7RH5CHKY
774Please respect copyright.PENANALEPMaIYmUg
接著,盧卡斯說:「出發!」774Please respect copyright.PENANAqYXh3GjPE4
774Please respect copyright.PENANATYozPrtVnd
「去邊?」774Please respect copyright.PENANARH8pR7FxR1
774Please respect copyright.PENANAdYcwdD0qwo
「去搵3K黨!我同你講過,佢可能會為我地解答到魚柳包半塊芝士既問題!」774Please respect copyright.PENANAPTIRXY3lqT
774Please respect copyright.PENANAOBwUqu1e2d
沒錯!我是因為魚柳包而來到芝加哥,現在一切都要回歸原點,繼續調查。我清一清思緒-----774Please respect copyright.PENANAG4UjX8XasU
774Please respect copyright.PENANAGpPHYty1Fp
阿權的肉體應該仍在深圳的浴缸裏腐化中……那個疑似是他打來的電話應該是我的幻覺?774Please respect copyright.PENANAjwpCJAPTXJ
774Please respect copyright.PENANAu6jdCZzcMX
微信上沒有小紅的訊息,甚至她的QQ空間也沒有更新過(過往她是天天更新加相的)……774Please respect copyright.PENANAgNOZVcHTGC
774Please respect copyright.PENANAZl2yvHvGj2
她沒有死吧?如果是我會很傷心的。774Please respect copyright.PENANAfcIkeO6KvW
774Please respect copyright.PENANA26nFpPscyK
還有我在香港的父母,他們和我身處在同一個空間嗎?774Please respect copyright.PENANAVN5tLnAyOy
774Please respect copyright.PENANAAJkjdpiBMQ
我又應該再search一次Juatin Biber嗎?774Please respect copyright.PENANAZLLEbw188P
774Please respect copyright.PENANA2scNGefuFk
我應該開一開自己的Facebook、twitter、Flipboard嗎?774Please respect copyright.PENANAfUiWi3yw9W
774Please respect copyright.PENANAYu9XZJuRjl
我的Account仍存在嗎?774Please respect copyright.PENANA4hkw5SNhzN
774Please respect copyright.PENANA61ceAyFUSl
一切有意義嗎?774Please respect copyright.PENANA6CcYdGxGJd
774Please respect copyright.PENANAuLLUZVoisx
如果沒有的話,774Please respect copyright.PENANAqKvlFknGcb
774Please respect copyright.PENANAjkxNz2Z7MF
我為什麼要活下去……?774Please respect copyright.PENANAfvjclresnZ
774Please respect copyright.PENANAKFplkns9cC
如果我硬要活下去,774Please respect copyright.PENANA3ti03g9QgL
774Please respect copyright.PENANAonyyAyVPEm
我又應該努力找尋其中的意義嗎?774Please respect copyright.PENANAYgslm34pIm
774Please respect copyright.PENANAkx6FK3Ckn7
又如果,『意義』這東西根本從沒有存在過……774Please respect copyright.PENANALqKVQfJ4sa
774Please respect copyright.PENANARbuvDqYCfA
『意義』只是人類的語言符號賦予它的內容時……774Please respect copyright.PENANAFeyGyImbUu
774Please respect copyright.PENANAPP9oGSilC4
又如果……774Please respect copyright.PENANA88AeMTW5z8
774Please respect copyright.PENANARJFXJFLpA2
又如果我們不用『如果』預設事物和知識時……774Please respect copyright.PENANAmi47ZUb0w1
774Please respect copyright.PENANAjUWgUUCTNu
774Please respect copyright.PENANA9I68BLnD76
這樣的思考方法,在我仍是M記區經的時候,我從不會用上。774Please respect copyright.PENANA5pRvwNcPsl
774Please respect copyright.PENANAtwGXuYYM1U
774Please respect copyright.PENANA0KZHZBrO1F
盧卡斯用綿羊把我送入他就讀的大學裏,找上一個名叫Jordan Bieber的人類學(anthropology)助理教授,Jordan Bieber就是那個3K黨的黨員,一個白人至上主義者。774Please respect copyright.PENANAF2rJgEFy7f
774Please respect copyright.PENANA9FFkoW6CUx
由於盧卡斯和我都是黃種人,當兩個黃種人遇上一個白人至上主義者的時候,那種吊詭的局面可想而知。774Please respect copyright.PENANAudnYcS0JUt
774Please respect copyright.PENANAg8OBkWQ39z
Jordan Bieber位於大學裏的辦公室非常簡約,一塵不染,牆上掛了一幅大概是年青的他和朗奴‧列根握手的合照,房間的樸素和整齊,大約這是這種人對血統純粹堅持的伸延展現。Jordan Bieber是個身高六呎四的鬼佬,以我的英文程度一定無法與他溝通,唯有寄望盧卡斯作我的翻譯吧,不過盧卡斯的確是一個可以信賴的年青人。774Please respect copyright.PENANASsKowH3Q6E
774Please respect copyright.PENANApASRXlJj28
Jordan Bieber對盧卡斯很熱情,似乎已是舊相識,至於我,他連眼也沒有看多眼,更莫論要問我叫什麼名字。774Please respect copyright.PENANAKP3DoBwQn8
774Please respect copyright.PENANArW46c4rtLo
盧卡斯問Copper之前拜託他的事情進展怎樣,接著Copper從櫃裏捧出一大疊文件,之後他們兩人在翻閱文件,我隱約看見文件裏夾有M記魚柳包的相片。由於他們全程用既快又密的英語交談,我就算有八吋大屌,也沒有插進去的餘地,百無聊賴間,盧卡斯示意我可以去食煙,於是我離開Jordan Bieber的辦公室,到了室外,建築物的入口處抽煙。774Please respect copyright.PENANAuhktsmav61
774Please respect copyright.PENANA7TsSeD7hZG
774Please respect copyright.PENANAYclUwN3qCi
這時候,很多大學生經過我面前,是轉堂時間吧?774Please respect copyright.PENANAxXuiMplH5W
774Please respect copyright.PENANA1fEiYCwCRx
屌你老母!774Please respect copyright.PENANAyy62Czezcm
774Please respect copyright.PENANAA36tiFjG3S
屌你老母,現在我終於明白香港這一代的年青人為什麼都要出外昇學的理由,鬼妹的確是一種非常生物,儘管她們青春美麗的保鮮期都比較短(凡美麗的事物都是短暫的),年過二十五已經開始淍謝,但在她們十六開始盛放的時候,真是一種上天的殘酷恩典,如果世界上有神---講英語的God---,神一定是藉著鬼妹她們美麗的胴體向凡人展現生命的無限可能和燙熱,尤其是她們無邪的笑容,彷彿嘲弄著我們這一群中年男人早逝青春的庸俗,也彷彿嘲笑我們因幻想她們而暗自勃起……774Please respect copyright.PENANAkNkyKp5qTV
774Please respect copyright.PENANAQ0b2oQjLLo
但無論怎樣都好,抽著煙欣賞鬼妹無疑是人生一大享受。774Please respect copyright.PENANA6jtPpApgEy
774Please respect copyright.PENANAdPsbpeosVW
在尼古丁作用下,我幻想著一個鬼妹波濤洶湧向我走來,然後隨隨便便對我說:「Do you want to Fuck?」774Please respect copyright.PENANAxyP5M6TjPO
774Please respect copyright.PENANAHxCOBOiPWo
然後I say:「Yup!Fuck you ok!」774Please respect copyright.PENANAUaAZJphigl
774Please respect copyright.PENANAhJ9bJyEKUp
「Let Fuck!Go!」774Please respect copyright.PENANAzL1zhs8Zlb
774Please respect copyright.PENANA6XSbJNT79L
突然我醒了,一個年約十七、八歲的鬼妹的確向我走來,但她沒有波濤洶湧,相貌也非常普通(但普通的外表已經勝過大部份港女)。現實和想像之間,往往都是鴻溝。774Please respect copyright.PENANA85zoOVTkLh
774Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3U333EvXo
更奇怪是,忽然來到我面前的鬼妹以非常純正的廣東話對我說:「你就係盧卡斯個friend波叔?」774Please respect copyright.PENANAUIX5QXr6IX
774Please respect copyright.PENANA1ODff1Ntxw
「Yes……Yup。」我本想廣東話用答,但舌頭不聽指令地吐出英語。大概這就是殖民地的基因作崇吧。774Please respect copyright.PENANACW9mN77BZi
774Please respect copyright.PENANAx4dawX6nQP
鬼妹拉起我隻手,說:「Follow me,我有野同你say!」774Please respect copyright.PENANAqUfqqzqHpo
774Please respect copyright.PENANANBpuza0ySh
講真!鬼妹隻手好大、好熱,但好滑。774Please respect copyright.PENANA5I7Wbjoecr
774Please respect copyright.PENANAOYzbvzJpY8
「做乜先?」774Please respect copyright.PENANApZouVd7ciO
774Please respect copyright.PENANAluWnaXcpsC
鬼妹把頭哄過來,我甚至嗅到她頭上洗髮水的香味,她面上有雀斑,唇厚,牙齒白得閃光,近看原來她有綠色的曈孔,老實說,如果她的眼大小小,鼻細小小,塊面瘦小小的話,她絕對是一個尤物。774Please respect copyright.PENANAuILHFqQgyW
774Please respect copyright.PENANARAGQNiCIrN
「Jordan Bieber宜家比盧卡斯引開左,我要同你去steal野!」774Please respect copyright.PENANAYbwSUtuGPs
774Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZAR1tOfLP
「steal野……?即係偷野?你叫乜名?」774Please respect copyright.PENANAXTyd1V4d1e
774Please respect copyright.PENANALbFQt7wPHW
「Emily Paxton,call me Emily!」774Please respect copyright.PENANAcv0cqscmKU
774Please respect copyright.PENANANmjOIsqJBV
774Please respect copyright.PENANArovNNqCHiP
青青校園裏,我和鬼妹Emily偷偷溜進一幢非常古老的建築物內……774Please respect copyright.PENANA7LnUJOGtgU
774Please respect copyright.PENANAJ91LfkzkO7
臨闖入古老建築物前,Emily告訴我這所大學是共濟會辦的。774Please respect copyright.PENANAdttTtx7Bug
774Please respect copyright.PENANAVaHuXY4fq6
共濟會?有什麼關係?774Please respect copyright.PENANAQbBPeXISHG
774Please respect copyright.PENANAbko3jY8wLl
太多了,又共濟會,又三K黨、又法輪功、又鄭多燕、又外星人、又乜又物,究竟那個才是……
774Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5lhzoMcbB
774Please respect copyright.PENANAkfwXF9PjIh