807Please respect copyright.PENANAtv2wwkKPOX
當我折返盧卡斯的狗竇時,恐怖的疲憊如潮水般向我襲來,我旋即昏死在他那浚亂不堪的床上,我有理由相信我並不是睡眠,我而是死了……807Please respect copyright.PENANACssFqTsXA3
807Please respect copyright.PENANAi3Yk8NBZGO
究竟睡眠和死亡有沒有分別?它們是兩種不同的生理狀態?還是互相從屬?抑或,死亡只是一種不會醒來的睡眠狀態?807Please respect copyright.PENANAjZ6Z9w8nx4
807Please respect copyright.PENANANdEwkkYTBe
不要問我睡了多久,醒來時候,我只感覺到肉體處於完全抽離的狀態,我的意識甚至需要用十多分鐘才能回歸到肉體裏,我嘗試動動眼皮,然後我看見盧卡斯的背影,他坐在電腦前,熒光屏上是外國人的四仔畫面,盧卡斯身體在微動著,右手放到下體,不停搖動著某東西,這種姿勢我知道他在做什麼,他正在打飛機!807Please respect copyright.PENANAOC3pjcUD5V
807Please respect copyright.PENANAzF6TTt1g6p
對!一個年青人對著電腦播放的咸片打飛機!何其天經地義!但是盧卡斯竟沒有避忌蝸居裏多了另一個男人仍打飛機……由此推論,我一定睡了很久很久,時間久得他連背著我打飛機都沒有戒心。807Please respect copyright.PENANAXRcffepxTL
807Please respect copyright.PENANAbT8aEMPCqc
外國人的四仔很公式,裏面的演員都好像性愛機械人(Sex Robot)般不停為做愛而做愛,單看他們的表演(相信我,一定是表演)令人很難想像他們日常人生是怎樣過活的。這種跨張的、抽離的演技,活像共產主義之父馬克思(Karl Marx)早年提出的異化概念(Alienation)。異化;故名思義就是由一個「原本的狀態」變成「另一個狀態」的描述,既然馬克思哲學以「人」作出發點,那麼我們即可以問,人「原本的狀態」是一個什麼的狀態?馬克思認為人的「原本的狀態」基本上本是「善良的、是應追求自由、不受束縛,而達到自由、自主、自我創造、自我生成、自我實現的目標」,但有史以來人類卻常是作繭自縛,創設一大堆的社會結構(典章制度、法律機制、主產、銷售、貿易等模式)來範囿人性的發展,以致人類的創造性潛力遭受阻抑,其能力也難得發揮。而資本主義世界,更把異化現象推至另一個扭曲人性本來面目的層次。本來是一群平凡人,便因色情電影的商業價值和銷售利益而變成為做愛而做愛的機械人在不停以各種姿勢做愛…做愛…做愛……807Please respect copyright.PENANAiC3h2oibI9
807Please respect copyright.PENANAtMzJlBRsUg
我能夠動了,如果我現在喝停盧卡斯!他一定非常尷尬,但看著他繼續打飛機,我亦非常難受吧?807Please respect copyright.PENANAaKs9BsY8mt
807Please respect copyright.PENANA1GQckRFikS
蒜狗掃把!於是我大叫:「喂!幾點?」807Please respect copyright.PENANAcWhzS0GHqY
807Please respect copyright.PENANAnnJOgcCnn6
然後,盧卡斯整個僵住,電腦熒屏上的咸片視窗倏然一收,換上另一個滿佈密密麻麻英文的網頁。807Please respect copyright.PENANAOB6b931ZL2
807Please respect copyright.PENANAEeazhBeq3I
三秒後,他若無其事轉頭對我說:「Yo,波叔,你醒喇!」807Please respect copyright.PENANA7AHTIGHkmP
807Please respect copyright.PENANACcLngUPG2l
我的視線不其然集中在盧卡斯的右手上,幸好他仍未『出野』,不過有點濕濕地、黏黏地、都是正常的。807Please respect copyright.PENANAxjeAhZvEp5
807Please respect copyright.PENANAs07AxYM7kR
盧卡斯是聰明人,他知道我看什麼,他笑笑說:「Yo,我去洗手,再同你買野返黎食Yo。」807Please respect copyright.PENANAKUHE2tDw5V
807Please respect copyright.PENANAWeBvuYjOSp
屌你老母,你唔Yo係咪會死?807Please respect copyright.PENANA2KCooJZUij
807Please respect copyright.PENANA3pGLzy42Cx
807Please respect copyright.PENANABXlbPs23HM
醒來後,我屙了一篤我不能想像的大尿和大屎,馬桶都差不多塞了,連沖七次才能把我所有排出的東西沖走……之後,吃了我不能想像的大量垃圾食物,其中包括漢堡包和魚柳包,在此期間,我向盧卡斯敘述了我離開他之後所發生的一切……807Please respect copyright.PENANAGOha37Ll6n
807Please respect copyright.PENANAw9kZAD2ikx
一邊點著茄醬食薯條的盧卡斯對SM鴨托洛斯基特別感興趣。「Yo,條友都幾奇……幾攪笑!」807Please respect copyright.PENANAcZ64RIJ3Yc
807Please respect copyright.PENANAPKYtiOZmIr
係,現在的年青人什麼都會用『攪笑』去形容,其實最『攪笑』的是他們才對。807Please respect copyright.PENANAdGg5H2hzIh
807Please respect copyright.PENANAedapafZrX8
「究竟我訓左幾耐?」吃完東西,補充好體力的我問。807Please respect copyright.PENANArUnySniKeI
807Please respect copyright.PENANAnwAqIlOrzj
盧卡斯看看電腦的canlender,說:「四日三夜……」807Please respect copyright.PENANAZARC0VPhNc
807Please respect copyright.PENANAEqzQ4G2nLu
「我冇醒過?」我說:「連去廁所都冇?」807Please respect copyright.PENANAWJ0hu80uc7
807Please respect copyright.PENANA4ylSu1iwdv
「冇。」盧卡斯說:「我甚至以為你死左,諗住打911,不過你有鼻航,噪到仆街。」807Please respect copyright.PENANAKZOie9yg7A
807Please respect copyright.PENANAh6QgLlxUB1
接著,盧卡斯說:「出發!」807Please respect copyright.PENANA2MfXtkaPLG
807Please respect copyright.PENANA0FFQ5EtO9d
「去邊?」807Please respect copyright.PENANAVBFuEH8CFV
807Please respect copyright.PENANAh4fJIvmX1L
「去搵3K黨!我同你講過,佢可能會為我地解答到魚柳包半塊芝士既問題!」807Please respect copyright.PENANA1k6DXFBSRU
807Please respect copyright.PENANAwXfKWRaEFE
沒錯!我是因為魚柳包而來到芝加哥,現在一切都要回歸原點,繼續調查。我清一清思緒-----807Please respect copyright.PENANALuwFt3B2Tc
807Please respect copyright.PENANAGBLsJb41nr
阿權的肉體應該仍在深圳的浴缸裏腐化中……那個疑似是他打來的電話應該是我的幻覺?807Please respect copyright.PENANA2j2FrlhMy8
807Please respect copyright.PENANAeh4Ie5CCoP
微信上沒有小紅的訊息,甚至她的QQ空間也沒有更新過(過往她是天天更新加相的)……807Please respect copyright.PENANA8vlETA8ouT
807Please respect copyright.PENANAWXouYfTAOn
她沒有死吧?如果是我會很傷心的。807Please respect copyright.PENANATaMy4fHiDx
807Please respect copyright.PENANAeHvok8xEEt
還有我在香港的父母,他們和我身處在同一個空間嗎?807Please respect copyright.PENANAlC9TErrICe
807Please respect copyright.PENANAu7t2Hokk2M
我又應該再search一次Juatin Biber嗎?807Please respect copyright.PENANAFtT1G1KYlI
807Please respect copyright.PENANAfB7skiSvJk
我應該開一開自己的Facebook、twitter、Flipboard嗎?807Please respect copyright.PENANAoCT08Zgj9d
807Please respect copyright.PENANAitVQaSldmK
我的Account仍存在嗎?807Please respect copyright.PENANA6wF4NzPtCR
807Please respect copyright.PENANAZhnkOEpqOm
一切有意義嗎?807Please respect copyright.PENANAfl9UxZONHL
807Please respect copyright.PENANArsQUge3WBV
如果沒有的話,807Please respect copyright.PENANAi9QyW1LWRM
807Please respect copyright.PENANAcJVrzrjeeT
我為什麼要活下去……?807Please respect copyright.PENANAbWxeORd4YF
807Please respect copyright.PENANALt0iWFBrvc
如果我硬要活下去,807Please respect copyright.PENANAG1p1mhRXEt
807Please respect copyright.PENANAm3mQTEU1QZ
我又應該努力找尋其中的意義嗎?807Please respect copyright.PENANAnoe0RTTAML
807Please respect copyright.PENANA4NSrfComsi
又如果,『意義』這東西根本從沒有存在過……807Please respect copyright.PENANA5KbZW5dCG3
807Please respect copyright.PENANAqUvWTEP5K9
『意義』只是人類的語言符號賦予它的內容時……807Please respect copyright.PENANAGKKzg03IGy
807Please respect copyright.PENANAiRC5r6L1J9
又如果……807Please respect copyright.PENANAJvGLN3VFoj
807Please respect copyright.PENANAZd9hV4wPSE
又如果我們不用『如果』預設事物和知識時……807Please respect copyright.PENANA3G7cgx4evd
807Please respect copyright.PENANAP4i7KZ1SOH
807Please respect copyright.PENANAgimN0vCoOO
這樣的思考方法,在我仍是M記區經的時候,我從不會用上。807Please respect copyright.PENANAeAWgc7kWcy
807Please respect copyright.PENANA3vMzrhKvIo
807Please respect copyright.PENANAgCXuMPwoxW
盧卡斯用綿羊把我送入他就讀的大學裏,找上一個名叫Jordan Bieber的人類學(anthropology)助理教授,Jordan Bieber就是那個3K黨的黨員,一個白人至上主義者。807Please respect copyright.PENANAOU2uikgBR9
807Please respect copyright.PENANA9Sy5ZM5K8N
由於盧卡斯和我都是黃種人,當兩個黃種人遇上一個白人至上主義者的時候,那種吊詭的局面可想而知。807Please respect copyright.PENANABbM3K1ydxx
807Please respect copyright.PENANAPmncjutbM2
Jordan Bieber位於大學裏的辦公室非常簡約,一塵不染,牆上掛了一幅大概是年青的他和朗奴‧列根握手的合照,房間的樸素和整齊,大約這是這種人對血統純粹堅持的伸延展現。Jordan Bieber是個身高六呎四的鬼佬,以我的英文程度一定無法與他溝通,唯有寄望盧卡斯作我的翻譯吧,不過盧卡斯的確是一個可以信賴的年青人。807Please respect copyright.PENANAfRIEGWX1TJ
807Please respect copyright.PENANAvO3PhcRF0j
Jordan Bieber對盧卡斯很熱情,似乎已是舊相識,至於我,他連眼也沒有看多眼,更莫論要問我叫什麼名字。807Please respect copyright.PENANAEqPBMwfVEo
807Please respect copyright.PENANAGHwoyQ8bXu
盧卡斯問Copper之前拜託他的事情進展怎樣,接著Copper從櫃裏捧出一大疊文件,之後他們兩人在翻閱文件,我隱約看見文件裏夾有M記魚柳包的相片。由於他們全程用既快又密的英語交談,我就算有八吋大屌,也沒有插進去的餘地,百無聊賴間,盧卡斯示意我可以去食煙,於是我離開Jordan Bieber的辦公室,到了室外,建築物的入口處抽煙。807Please respect copyright.PENANALqHPtoLW6D
807Please respect copyright.PENANAPPTEZOWLLK
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這時候,很多大學生經過我面前,是轉堂時間吧?807Please respect copyright.PENANA88cwDnILRu
807Please respect copyright.PENANAOccCGGJL7D
屌你老母!807Please respect copyright.PENANAfzFl9VL3gz
807Please respect copyright.PENANAmUCUceXVzT
屌你老母,現在我終於明白香港這一代的年青人為什麼都要出外昇學的理由,鬼妹的確是一種非常生物,儘管她們青春美麗的保鮮期都比較短(凡美麗的事物都是短暫的),年過二十五已經開始淍謝,但在她們十六開始盛放的時候,真是一種上天的殘酷恩典,如果世界上有神---講英語的God---,神一定是藉著鬼妹她們美麗的胴體向凡人展現生命的無限可能和燙熱,尤其是她們無邪的笑容,彷彿嘲弄著我們這一群中年男人早逝青春的庸俗,也彷彿嘲笑我們因幻想她們而暗自勃起……807Please respect copyright.PENANAc0wzZJYwpa
807Please respect copyright.PENANAvtbW7v5Pgx
但無論怎樣都好,抽著煙欣賞鬼妹無疑是人生一大享受。807Please respect copyright.PENANA9H9s8KX4Nl
807Please respect copyright.PENANA1qtOBQraoJ
在尼古丁作用下,我幻想著一個鬼妹波濤洶湧向我走來,然後隨隨便便對我說:「Do you want to Fuck?」807Please respect copyright.PENANAhZDbvOMgVv
807Please respect copyright.PENANAfCqv9v2Ge9
然後I say:「Yup!Fuck you ok!」807Please respect copyright.PENANAzSns23XNvM
807Please respect copyright.PENANAuWodXDMaAJ
「Let Fuck!Go!」807Please respect copyright.PENANA1HYmujbuc3
807Please respect copyright.PENANAf9llsYSU6z
突然我醒了,一個年約十七、八歲的鬼妹的確向我走來,但她沒有波濤洶湧,相貌也非常普通(但普通的外表已經勝過大部份港女)。現實和想像之間,往往都是鴻溝。807Please respect copyright.PENANAJYCvPf6fUo
807Please respect copyright.PENANARSy7XKWRdK
更奇怪是,忽然來到我面前的鬼妹以非常純正的廣東話對我說:「你就係盧卡斯個friend波叔?」807Please respect copyright.PENANAchKFXiXg9m
807Please respect copyright.PENANAvWLjaQwLVe
「Yes……Yup。」我本想廣東話用答,但舌頭不聽指令地吐出英語。大概這就是殖民地的基因作崇吧。807Please respect copyright.PENANA6AG0XUiyKd
807Please respect copyright.PENANAzHHx411UGG
鬼妹拉起我隻手,說:「Follow me,我有野同你say!」807Please respect copyright.PENANAfHjKpgsCKU
807Please respect copyright.PENANAOmXNcgOcWh
講真!鬼妹隻手好大、好熱,但好滑。807Please respect copyright.PENANAncJ8FwYJnQ
807Please respect copyright.PENANAZd9yqzw7hN
「做乜先?」807Please respect copyright.PENANA5JJugLb4Fm
807Please respect copyright.PENANAqPXOAyEEDX
鬼妹把頭哄過來,我甚至嗅到她頭上洗髮水的香味,她面上有雀斑,唇厚,牙齒白得閃光,近看原來她有綠色的曈孔,老實說,如果她的眼大小小,鼻細小小,塊面瘦小小的話,她絕對是一個尤物。807Please respect copyright.PENANAvqYqCRmZF3
807Please respect copyright.PENANArSgKKmee1Q
「Jordan Bieber宜家比盧卡斯引開左,我要同你去steal野!」807Please respect copyright.PENANA3e7yM32rqd
807Please respect copyright.PENANAWI6ifDNSLT
「steal野……?即係偷野?你叫乜名?」807Please respect copyright.PENANAvmXWI6AnJD
807Please respect copyright.PENANAf2QwkHHVBn
「Emily Paxton,call me Emily!」807Please respect copyright.PENANAATPWG9twgI
807Please respect copyright.PENANAdsRHRVuJ9V
807Please respect copyright.PENANAzjWKJV3f7U
青青校園裏,我和鬼妹Emily偷偷溜進一幢非常古老的建築物內……807Please respect copyright.PENANAyKiyq2D7QB
807Please respect copyright.PENANAshHpUg9YsM
臨闖入古老建築物前,Emily告訴我這所大學是共濟會辦的。807Please respect copyright.PENANAm8mfgGRry4
807Please respect copyright.PENANAmjtbeWwSa8
共濟會?有什麼關係?807Please respect copyright.PENANAhlfIfG8uvL
807Please respect copyright.PENANAwZxAXrMHIM
太多了,又共濟會,又三K黨、又法輪功、又鄭多燕、又外星人、又乜又物,究竟那個才是……
807Please respect copyright.PENANAs9GybRsGdN
807Please respect copyright.PENANAPOpVTbglej