(陳錦波部份)
696Please respect copyright.PENANA0kzx9vDOhs
對上一次寫信是什麼時候的事呢?不是說求職信之類公務上的信件,而是寫給指定對象,僅用來敘事的信。696Please respect copyright.PENANAiUpRU0939r
696Please respect copyright.PENANAXhpJsMY1uO
在記憶之中,已經是我十幾歲坐監時的事了。至於寫的是什麼?完全沒有印象了,反正不是太過重要的事。696Please respect copyright.PENANA6TZDSel1vy
696Please respect copyright.PENANAZg1iUmPf1H
為什麼要提起這種無聊的往事?很簡單,因為我正在盧卡斯的狗竇裡,寫著一封信,說明大部份的前因後果。這個為我犧牲這麼多的年青人,我對他付上大大的責任是很正常,也很應該的。696Please respect copyright.PENANAeMTcqSCSYE
696Please respect copyright.PENANAo0VHsEaSfH
所以我不只留下一封信,還留下了一個裝有六成滿銀紙的旅行箱盧卡斯。而另一箱我全部都給了Emma,餘下的留給自己。696Please respect copyright.PENANAe8hKE2sAAw
696Please respect copyright.PENANAH7lv9TfLJu
寫好信,我去了個廁所,看著馬筒裡的水波,我居然有點感概,因為我已經不會再回到這個地方,所以這應該是我最後一次在這個馬筒屙尿。696Please respect copyright.PENANA6hTdnssGcU
696Please respect copyright.PENANAfA9mOktz0b
這是正常人會有的感覺嗎?定還是我已經變得不太正常呢?696Please respect copyright.PENANAWJo9GmUXhl
696Please respect copyright.PENANAXlm8OhmTOA
算了。我屙完尿就開始將寫好的信入好在信封裡,然後用膠紙將它緊緊的貼好在旅行箱上面。696Please respect copyright.PENANANrMdcgSEA0
696Please respect copyright.PENANAwXnVhAWMEz
最後,我再確認自己旅行箱裡的衣物與錢都在裡面,就頭也不回離開這個地方。696Please respect copyright.PENANA3cUB9Unh9O
696Please respect copyright.PENANAOzEA8PsGpQ
一個人落到樓下,時間已經是早晨,還記得昨天清晨我還在一架幾百萬的轎車裡,與一個超級富豪享受著清晨的風。696Please respect copyright.PENANApm2x5Xyrk0
696Please respect copyright.PENANAFnldqBLk0d
雖然現在也有風迎面而來,但此風已不同彼風,我只感到讓人刺痛的冷,不再感到半點清爽,說起來其實這樣才正常吧,北美洲十一月的風又怎有可能清爽?696Please respect copyright.PENANAmYKK7RV3jH
696Please respect copyright.PENANADGlqelg95i
而昨日與我同車的阿花,也變成了一具沒有靈魂的屍體了。696Please respect copyright.PENANAHVvAALtj8p
696Please respect copyright.PENANAHLieAgE1iw
幸運地活著的我,現在卻一人站在這街頭上等的士。696Please respect copyright.PENANABODSVQuLyu
696Please respect copyright.PENANAoAOzkenjDV
一切都好像是一場夢啊。昨日的事對我來說就好像夢一樣,而我又有種自我安慰的幻覺,希望現在的處境是場夢。可惜現實就是不論昨日和今日,還有前日,大前日,大大前日,全部都是不可動搖的現實。696Please respect copyright.PENANA0YXWASQwB5
696Please respect copyright.PENANAx6XaPV9DiL
不久,我終於等到的士。上了車,講出無帽輝的地址,司機半句話不說就開車離開。696Please respect copyright.PENANA3hDQeRDNlv
696Please respect copyright.PENANAGKgrpRvzLz
696Please respect copyright.PENANAF6ArWGxsZO
說到這裡,可能有人會不明白究竟發生了什麼事,我為什麼要去無帽輝的家?拿著這麼多錢,應該夠在美國與Emma開展新的人生吧?696Please respect copyright.PENANAbztvXtUKM0
696Please respect copyright.PENANA3dYNLolNvc
這是不可能的,你們見不到嗎?Emma已經不在我的身邊了。讓事態發展到這個地步,主要是因為我在電視無意中見到的新聞節目,我又在電視見到那個成吉思汗的通緝令了。696Please respect copyright.PENANAEPPBorPCze
696Please respect copyright.PENANAGKnSwiatrF
於是我開始想……至今認出我的人簡直有無數那麼多個,其實我的處境絕對比想像中危險。696Please respect copyright.PENANAkksadRwBZT
696Please respect copyright.PENANAU6QiKw00Yc
也許可以逃過一兩年,幸運的話可能有十年,二十年,但當黑起來,我可能明天走出街就會被認出來然後死於亂槍掃射之下。696Please respect copyright.PENANAP65jXcUvEP
696Please respect copyright.PENANAegchxkAn7R
之後跟我在一起的Emma該怎辦好?在幻想當中見到她徬徨無助的樣子,我居然雙眼濕起來。一想到她一生都將要跟我亡命天崖,我心裡面絕對不好過,這不是她應有的生活。696Please respect copyright.PENANAAx65AHQi18
696Please respect copyright.PENANAdAT9qga46O
她是個難得的好女人,應該配活得更好。我有這種想法,這明顯是一種愛的表現。696Please respect copyright.PENANA9hAi3A6Gft
696Please respect copyright.PENANAmlCxljOf2g
對小紅我有過這種感覺嗎?沒有。但我依然愛她,甚至願意為了這份愛去企圖殺死一個人。696Please respect copyright.PENANAtFVWCBNHJB
696Please respect copyright.PENANA5G2nqfWDiq
不過,這是愛嗎?還是佔有欲作怪?兩者皆是,是愛讓我有佔有欲,希望能保護她的一切,完全的擁有她。但卻分不清楚,最後我去殺阿權這個舉動是為了她?還是為了我自己的怒火。696Please respect copyright.PENANAymB7eIKNd9
696Please respect copyright.PENANAz2V2XNd0Ek
而Emma,我只想讓她像飛鳥一樣,自由快活地在空中飛翔,見到她快樂我已經心滿意足。696Please respect copyright.PENANA63tvbRtklg
696Please respect copyright.PENANA56g3h5CiNw
我究竟是源於天生父性的愛?還是男女之間的愛?我想是兩者都有,不過答案已不再重要,因為有件事我是非常肯定的。696Please respect copyright.PENANADeciV5L0tK
696Please respect copyright.PENANAXL4tg5BnxE
就是我愛Emma,而且願意放手,親自去解放這隻在豪宅關了很久的小鳥。696Please respect copyright.PENANAxoirLuPtiH
696Please respect copyright.PENANA7DxnNSAL9X
對她來說最好的結局是什麼?我不知道,至少不是跟我一起死在亂槍之下,也不是在我的犧牲下活下來,亦不是有一天在家裡得知我死去的消息。696Please respect copyright.PENANA2W3zoNp0sd
696Please respect copyright.PENANA6ZZVPg24qk
所以,她必須離開我,襯她過份依賴我之前就離開我,開始新的生活。696Please respect copyright.PENANAdvCwJHP1Ir
696Please respect copyright.PENANA6SdzMI0K4z
696Please respect copyright.PENANAONFsomENV7
下定決心之後,我在太陽升起不久,信快要寫完的時候再寫下一張清單,在上面寫上種類複雜的日用品,衣服,甚至乎M記,總之是正常人不能在一個小時內買齊份量的東西。696Please respect copyright.PENANAuxjbPpntY9
696Please respect copyright.PENANAYPkQ4YnXxH
之後我將這清單交給Emma,叫正在看電視的她幫我進行採購,作為一個能幹的前女僕,她沒有Say no,接過清單馬上就出發,臨走前還給我一個Goodbye kiss……696Please respect copyright.PENANA0sRXOwCbQU
696Please respect copyright.PENANARhgL9RKyZD
說起來真諷刺,她應該萬萬也想不到這是真正的Goodbye Kiss 吧,她看起來還……讓我目送她背影的時候更加欲哭無淚。696Please respect copyright.PENANAiuA47T2IjG
696Please respect copyright.PENANACmkq9uL3xc
接著門關上後,我就開始著手分錢,除了給盧卡斯的信之外,我也寫了張字條給Emma,始終考慮到她是個非法移民,在美國無人無物,所以留下了盧卡斯家裡的鎖匙給她,並告訴她可以住在這個地方。696Please respect copyright.PENANAIGHp9F5zb8
696Please respect copyright.PENANA1gpOVIlB5K
這樣一來,要做的都做完,我還留在美國已經沒有意思了。剩下的路就只有一條,就是回去香港,繼續做個普通的M記區經吧。696Please respect copyright.PENANAtj2RokddhN
696Please respect copyright.PENANAtKCF7Xx2u0
要回去的話,我腦裡要第一個出現的人就是無帽輝,他已經是我在芝加哥另一可以依靠的人,真的夠可悲。不過想到他始終是個戇居的老好人,將會很樂意為不能露面的我,處理機票,出入境,海關之類的麻煩事,就覺得沒什麼所謂了。696Please respect copyright.PENANA4deuor4ZuO
696Please respect copyright.PENANA205EjdA26o
696Please respect copyright.PENANAabHQTf4QVV
來到現在這個時間,看來Emma已經回到盧卡斯的狗竇,並發現我已經消失了這件事,所以IPhone已經由我上車一分鐘左右震到現在。696Please respect copyright.PENANAVfRVeTuK2A
696Please respect copyright.PENANALbE4XNMh08
然後,就在第三十三個來電,我終於接聽了。696Please respect copyright.PENANAzhOl8i7G1B
696Please respect copyright.PENANAH28RUxgenF
本以為她會大聲呼喝,又或是不停咒罵,但結果她卻平靜地說:696Please respect copyright.PENANA6yGEA2ogRO
696Please respect copyright.PENANAdAAjlAR7Mw
「波,回來吧……我需要你,我很需要你……求求你回來吧…(英語)」一路說,我一路聽到她的聲音在震,在飲泣……696Please respect copyright.PENANAZ58sMtTg4u
696Please respect copyright.PENANAptMbRUCClL
或者我不應該接這通電話的,聽她這樣求我……我說不定真的會命令的士馬上調頭回去,再在盧卡斯的狗竇深情雙擁。696Please respect copyright.PENANA464N3E6Tsu
696Please respect copyright.PENANAtbnwe3s4HW
但我已經下定決心,這是我的選擇,我必須堅持到底。一直以來在我的人生當中,已經有太多事半途而廢了。只有這件事不可以……因為一切也不是為了我自己,而是為了這個還有未來的女人。696Please respect copyright.PENANAsoECKmpFX5
696Please respect copyright.PENANAXMzzMEwQDv
聽著她喋喋不休地哀求我,看著車外面的微絲細雨,我先回答她:696Please respect copyright.PENANARaFPTzF3Jt
696Please respect copyright.PENANAlDjXM3H5lE
「你聽我講先啦。(英語)」再徐徐的說:「Nothing lasts forever,even cold November rain.」之後半句話也不說,決斷地掛線,並把IPhone關上。696Please respect copyright.PENANA1qiXtF6Rn3
696Please respect copyright.PENANAg34VMb4Dty
外面的雨愈下愈大……這場雨好像將魚柳包的迷團,阿花,賣菜佬,約瑟夫,盧卡斯,我的美國夢……還有Emma,通通都沖走了……696Please respect copyright.PENANAcfWbInY3GM
696Please respect copyright.PENANAZa6FkaazbT
看著這一切,我這個四十幾歲的阿叔又再度落下男兒淚。696Please respect copyright.PENANA1EIdJANMlR
696Please respect copyright.PENANAOYAFtFT0AK
696Please respect copyright.PENANAoOBzUA65s7
不久之後,我已經來到無帽輝這個戇居佬屋企的門外,我用紙巾再度抹多次臉,希望開門後不要被無帽輝發現自己曾經輕輕哭過一場,然後才按下門鈴。696Please respect copyright.PENANAa19HXsKjEz
696Please respect copyright.PENANAwEu1I5qWFE
「叮噹!」久久也未有人回應。其實也有可能無帽輝已經去上班了,所以沒人應門也是很正常的,不過也有可能是他在打飛機所以聽不到。696Please respect copyright.PENANASFCXt7VrYV
696Please respect copyright.PENANATBnWrMchBd
所以我又再按一次。「叮噹!」696Please respect copyright.PENANAWPcWoZRDOr
696Please respect copyright.PENANAqr6jYPe9pS
結果我終於聽到裡要有腳步聲,門隨即打開。可是……誰不知那個應門的人竟然是……Natalie Portman!?696Please respect copyright.PENANAWOeupErtqj
696Please respect copyright.PENANAoQ1MC3HtP9
696Please respect copyright.PENANAneHCLAWhpN
更令我驚訝的是,我沒有撳錯門鐘,因為無帽輝就出現在她的後面,並以風騷到極點的語氣問我:696Please respect copyright.PENANAEhub6vvjwh
696Please respect copyright.PENANAVftz0SCvki
「阿波,你唔聲唔聲走左,我重以為你返左香港添!」696Please respect copyright.PENANASYb3APasJ5
696Please respect copyright.PENANAOOXG3WmROq
我張大口,發出:「啊……」的聲音,因為眼前這個無帽輝看來實在太過精神爽利,明明個樣好像禿鷹曾偉雄,但氣息卻爽朗好像《沙灘小子》裡的反町隆史一樣,感覺真的好獵奇!696Please respect copyright.PENANAQG7ia5nSsW
696Please respect copyright.PENANASvD5Ecv5CN
「同你介紹返先,依個係我老婆……係喇,唔好企係外面喇,屋入面有暖氣,入黎先再講啦!」他卻接著跟我說出這樣的一句話。696Please respect copyright.PENANAm6Aag85xtq
696Please respect copyright.PENANA6CME6StjiT
我當下被他的話嚇得零魂出竅,完全被震撼了。696Please respect copyright.PENANAkbQeyUA09d
696Please respect copyright.PENANAzk7vVtss1I
696Please respect copyright.PENANARW8yZPYKJp
屌你老母!?點解會咁撚樣!?依條友竟然真係娶左Natalie Portman做老婆!?我唔鳩係發緊夢啊?
696Please respect copyright.PENANAwKkpaFOO8x
696Please respect copyright.PENANAAmK3lNfx7A