So, rather recently I've had this thought ambling around in the back of my mind. It's a thought that everyone has. It's a fear everyone has. This thought is something you never hope to be included in. This has just been stuck in my head for a while, I wanted to just get it out there.1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbBS2WWU9l
You see, there is a point in which everyone becomes second. There is a point in which someone else matters more. This point is what I like to call the Push Point. It is the point where you being to be pushed away. It is a point were you no longer seem to matter. 1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEmQ8Xsm3N
I feel like I am always at this point. 1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLn5EVtac5
I am the person who is second by nature and first, well, hardly ever. In people's minds, I suppose, I am someone who is replaceable. To lose me is to only fill that empty space with another me. 1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvLZFcMm2z
I wonder, am I so generic that I can so easily be replaced? 1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcyPLYAbvC
And God-forbid I speak up about my position or I really will be replaced. It feels like I don't matter enough. Do I have to be some kind of eccentric person to be accepted? Must I make myself more interesting and flattering to the eye? Do I have to change myself just to seem amazing enough to keep around?1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP27AZSASXm
Is that what people want nowadays? 1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡln1hx0mgTm
You know, I don't think I've ever really had a best friend. I've never been first, no one has ever chosen me for anything. I'm second-best. I have fair-weather friends who only want me when there is nothing better to do. 1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvaF3yjL3t
My feelings don't matter to them. Only they do. They want help with their lives when I'm stuck with "I'm sorry". In todays society, I feel like we, as people, are being less and less in-tune with other people's feelings. The generations now seem to only care for themselves. 1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryR7fc7H2P
Maybe I'm being a hypocrite, I am apart of said generation. 1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJ4qyNO8D2
But I want to be cared for and loved so badly I can't stand it. Family is obligated to love me. I want someone who choses to. Maybe I'm being selfish and too egotistical about myself. I should feel lucky to have the family and "friends" that I have now. 1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡku5Uqc8FTU
But, I'm not. 1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QkoqmP6vx
I guess its a human flaw: we always want more. We are never comfortable with what we already have. 1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNO8UgD6lmb
I complain a lot, it seems. Maybe I just have a lot to complain about or maybe I just need to be grateful for what I have. I know I'm not the only one. 1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhpWaLGQq8
- Ayame1069Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGhxaHnKdG
