當自己遇到諗唔明白嘅嘢,問阿必就最好,始終佢最了解我。有一次我哋行緊去圖書館打算當值嗰陣時,我就問佢:「其實你覺得Cathy好啲定晴晴好啲?」佢望住我:「計人品定係成績?能力?定係其他嘢先?」我諗咗一諗,猶豫咗一陣答佢:「如果俾你揀一個做伴侶,你揀邊個?」
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阿必望向我,沉默咗3秒開口講句:「阿謙,呢排你點解認真諗呢啲嘢?」我答佢「我都唔知呀,唔知點解睇完校園小說我就開始諗呢啲嘢,真係一種假設性問題啫,答先啦」
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「咁其實冇計最後真係行得埋一齊嘅,可能我會揀晴晴囉,覺得佢份人比較內向,佢唔會太過直接表達佢自己想諗嘅嘢,你聽落去會順耳啲。Cathy佢可能講啲嘢係比較直接,即係佢會直接俾到個Conclusion,但係其實佢可能用嘅方式或者啲詞語未必啱你聽,係要視乎下你究竟想啱聽定係乜嘢啦。」
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我同佢講:「我而家問緊你揀邊個,唔係要分析。」佢話:「記住唔好同佢哋講,唔係嘅話應該死咗㗎啦,我會揀晴晴囉,佢其實內向,又有能力,跟住又識照顧人。」
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「咁Cathy呢?Cathy其實都差唔多咋喎」「不過我覺得Cathy嗰種係.....佢好似對所有人都好咁樣,但係晴晴非常會對一啲佢在意嘅人好,如果係做朋友嘅我會覺得Cathy係好過晴晴嘅,不過如果真係話做一個終生伴侶嘅話,可能晴晴真係會好啲。」
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我講落去:「但係我唔係咁諗囉,如果係我我會揀Cathy囉,因為我直接feel到佢嗰種嘅熱誠喺度,同埋佢好似對所有嘢都好雀躍,即係好似一個開心果咁樣,好似校園小說入面.....」
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「其實你收到啲咩刺激?無啦啦開始睇就將自己代入校園小說?」
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我冇理會阿必,繼續講落去「小說入面嗰啲愛情故事,我都覺得好感人嘅」我分享咗長跑嗰個男仔嘅故事俾佢聽,跟住話:「其實嗰個男仔佢冇做錯任何嘢,但係佢只係冇表達到佢嘅鍾意出嚟咋嘛。其實男仔好鍾意嗰個女仔㗎,只不過突然間個女仔選擇咗離開,嗰個男仔接受唔到咋嘛。但係其實如果男仔講出嚟嘅話,其實可能佢地連朋友做唔成,個女仔可能會憎咗佢...」
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去到呢度,我開始有種心痛嘅感覺,「愛情其實冇必定嘅對與錯,就係因為冇咗呢種標準答案嘅情況下,就有咗好多不確定性...」
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「不確定性,不確定性,呢個詞語响你把口出現過好多次,你最唔鍾意嗰啲呀嘛」
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「講吓啫,始終都要面對㗎嘛。唔通例如有朝一日有個女仔同你講佢鍾意你,你會因為你唔想改變而家嘅生活而拒絕佢?發生嘅可能性係會有,不過我應該唔會咁做囉」
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阿必真係幾好人,肯聽我講呢啲廢話。30Please respect copyright.PENANAfLfMupSWrs